Just got caught in the act

[unozero]

I was at a lake once with all these hot wemenz around me.
I would dive for a few seconds, stroke then come back up...repeat.
good times.

 

[Green Floyd]

Firefox is your friend.

Ctrl+Shift+P is for porn mode!

But seriously, get somebody else to do it for you... So much easier.

 

[sinkoman]

**** it, I've done it while driving; but yeah, too weird to execute 'final phase'. Also, got head while driving a few times, which is much cooler.

EDIT: I can't figure out how in the **** you could stroke your cock at the beach with that many people around. Then again, my cock is almost as big as I am; I can't assume it's the same for everyone.

Water man, makes it pretty easy to just disappear.

It's pretty funny to just sit there with your head being the only thing piercing the surface, watching all the tourists and locals chilling on the shore, knowing you're up to some mischievous shit that nobody will ever figure out.

EDIT: I was also like 11 at the time. I even remember what was running through my head the whole time!

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/swimsuit/coverfeatured/9976/index.htm

Only on teh entiernets, huh?

 

[Ravioli]

Hl2.net

The Masters of Fapping

 

[VirusType2]

Water man, makes it pretty easy to just disappear.

It's pretty funny to just sit there with your head being the only thing piercing the surface, watching all the tourists and locals chilling on the shore, knowing you're up to some mischievous shit that nobody will ever figure out.

EDIT: I was also like 11 at the time. I even remember what was running through my head the whole time!

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/swimsuit/coverfeatured/9976/index.htm

Only on teh entiernets, huh?

Oh, shit. i thought you were taking down the tent in your swimsuit, right on the beach.

 

[Tyguy]

The only time i've been caught was in college when my roommate burst through the door. I happen to be on my bed literally right next to the door so he got a 'front seat at the movies' kind of view. The son of a bitch didn't even leave after so I got blue balls.

(I fapped it last night watching gangland, is that weird?)

 

[KagutsuchiZA]

I was just wondering if you should use the word "professional" in the same sentence of such a vacuous activity such as masturbation....

 

[Tyguy]

I was just wondering if you should use the word "professional" in the same sentence of such a vacuous activity such as masturbation....

you can be a professional at anything, why not pick something hilariously entertaining?

 

[15357]

I won't be impressed until you get a degree in masturbation.

 

[KagutsuchiZA]

you can be a professional at anything, why not pick something hilariously entertaining?

Ok not to sound pedantic here, but you are wrong: "Professional - 'Engaged in a profession or engaging in as a profession or means of livelihood'"

I know there is a general misuse of the word "professional" during various forms of frivolity, but it just feels wrong.

Oh well. I was just wondering if anyone feels the same way or are they just not bothered by it?

Just a thought...

 

[VirusType2]

I know there is a general misuse of the word "professional" during various forms of frivolity, but it just feels wrong.

You're not doing it right.

 

[KagutsuchiZA]

You're not doing it right.

haha, ok or that. :-D

 

[Ravioli]

Ok not to sound pedantic here, but you are wrong: "Professional - 'Engaged in a profession or engaging in as a profession or means of livelihood'"

I know there is a general misuse of the word "professional" during various forms of frivolity, but it just feels wrong.

Oh well. I was just wondering if anyone feels the same way or are they just not bothered by it?

Just a thought...

But masturbation IS a profession Trust me, people have been doing it since the dawn of man. Just think of all those hard working masturbators who donate jizz, they are the true backbone of this great world.

 

[Tyguy]

i'd say it's a lot less frivolous for an adult film star, it's probably considered practice...you can't argue that it is, indeed, a skill. a porn actor needs these skills (delaying or increasing time until ejaculation) to succeed in their field. as it is there profession they should be revered as a professional in most aspects of sexual pleasure.

fact: at any given time there are 159 million men masturbating.

 

[YROC]

I have never been caught. Closest was when I woke up and everyone was gone. I thought "Why not get a quick one going?!". As soon as I drop my pants, I hear the car doors shut and I got porn roaring on the comp. It's not a long walk from the driveway to the front door, so I had to close out porn, pull pants up, turn lights on, make everything look normal in like 10 seconds. I was successful, but that had me scared for a day or so.

 

[Sardonyx]

I think in stead of calling the act of masturbation itself professional, you could rather call the act of keeping it a secret being "of expert level". That would be more accurate.

 

[Darkside55]

I like how this guy's first post is in the masturbation thread.

 

[YROC]

This is like the best topic i've seen in a while.

 

[Sardonyx]

Yeah i was told by a friend about it, so i just registered so i can add my 10c

 

[15357]

Yeah i was told by a friend about it, so i just registered so i can add my 10c

You were told about masturbation by a friend? Ok. I guess you're just... more innocent.

 

[2Fast4U]

Take note, mods. Competitions do not attract new members, masturbation threads do!

 

[Qonfused]

Mom walked in, looked at me D:, I looked at her D:, she walked back out.

Also, Mrs. Peacock, with a pipe wrench, in the library.

You made me laugh twice in one thread. This must be a new record. You're now my current favorite person.

 

[Sardonyx]

Lol, didn't say I was innocent, everyone masturbates, and we've come a long way (no pun intended) in terms of social conversations pertaining to sexual endeavors, but semantics should still be taken into account even when discussing something as trivial as this.

PS. I hate "chatspeek", or any forms of misspelling, to me it shows a lack of intelligence. If you can type, you can type it correctly. Texting with a cellphone is still understandable (if you're a cheapskate), but anywhere else you're just the fungus that's rotting away the society that everyone is trying to advance.

 

[15357]

Lol, didn't say I was innocent, everyone masturbates, and we've come a long way (no pun intended) in terms of social conversations pertaining to sexual endeavors, but semantics should still be taken into account even when discussing something as trivial as this.

Sorry.

PS. I hate "chatspeek", or any forms of misspelling, to me it shows a lack of intelligence. If you can type, you can type it correctly. Texting with a cellphone is still understandable (if you're a cheapskate), but anywhere else you're just the fungus that's rotting away the society that everyone is trying to advance.

I think I like you better than most of our new members. Thank god we are finally blessed with someone who knows the importance of typing correctly.

 

[Tyguy]

Lol

PS. I hate "chatspeek", or any forms of misspelling

isn't lol considered "chatspeek"? hpokrit :naughty:

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Whenever I hear of friends and family members enjoying sexual encounters, it always makes me feel cheerful. It's to know that people are enjoying themselves like that.

Also, got head while driving a few times, which is much cooler.

Ah,I have happy memories of such things. I almost died whilst having that done. It was night and I didn't realise that my foot was pressing down on the pedal. We hit the grass verge and swerved a bit. She did carry on, but there's no way I could finish in that situation.

Blow jobs are the best.
God damn I need a new girlfriend :arms:

 

[Darkside55]

Why do you need a girlfriend for blowjobs?

 

[Lucid]

Got caught once in my entire life.

I was 13.
It was the family computer room.
I was looking at Pokemon hentai.
I was on my knees with my cock completely out.
The door had no lock and it was to the left of me.
My sister barged in.
Blood curdling screams.
I blew my load the hardest I'd ever blown it whilst having a heart attack.
We never spoke of what transpired that day.

 

[Captain M4d]

Honestly, Ravioli, that's a pretty awesome response in respect to how my mother would respond.

 

[Tyguy]

Got caught once in my entire life.

I was 13.
It was the family computer room.
I was looking at Pokemon hentai.
I was on my knees with my cock completely out.
The door had no lock and it was to the left of me.
My sister barged in.
Blood curdling screams.
I blew my load the hardest I'd ever blown it whilst having a heart attack.
We never spoke of what transpired that day.

WAIT....did your sister see you blow your load? If that's what happened then you are the man.

 

[kupocake]

And now I understand why this is the Sockmonkey Lounge.

 

[Captain M4d]

I never got caught in the act, but my little brother and parents happened upon a ton of porn spyware while using my computer for homework. That sucked.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

Got caught once in my entire life.

I was 13.
It was the family computer room.
I was looking at Pokemon hentai.
I was on my knees with my cock completely out.
The door had no lock and it was to the left of me.
My sister barged in.
Blood curdling screams.
I blew my load the hardest I'd ever blown it whilst having a heart attack.
We never spoke of what transpired that day.

I kneel at your feet, mighty one. You are truly a god among men.

 

[CyberPitz]

I've only been almost caught once. Was going at it, roomie walks in. I quickly close everything and cover up with my shirt. She sits on the bed, starts to talk about how stupid some girl is blah blah blah, then leaves....I then uncover and continue.

 

[Tyguy]

I've only been almost caught once. Was going at it, roomie walks in. I quickly close everything and cover up with my shirt. She sits on the bed, starts to talk about how stupid some girl is blah blah blah, then leaves....I then uncover and continue.

could have tried to let her finish for you, way to cock block yourself

 

[Warped]

I either:

A. Wait until no one is home
C. wait until 2:00AM when people are sleeping

these

I had massive morning wood today though and relatives were over it was really annoying. i just wanted to punch my dick to lay down but that only makes him stronger. cold water and staring at Susan Boyle helps a bit.

Also I never got caught but there were a few times when they'd see the naked chick on the screen but come on!!! billions of people do this how can it be that bad

 

[Dog--]

I either:

A. Wait until no one is home
B. Do it in the bathroom
C. wait until 2:00AM when people are sleeping

This, and also I really wanted this thread t be about this subject, just so I can lol.




lol.



I've never been caught, but one time I forgot to flush when I did it in the bathroom, but I still don't know if people thought it was me :/

 

[Insano]

Lol, didn't say I was innocent, everyone masturbates, and we've come a long way (no pun intended) in terms of social conversations pertaining to sexual endeavors, but semantics should still be taken into account even when discussing something as trivial as this.

PS. I hate "chatspeek", or any forms of misspelling, to me it shows a lack of intelligence. If you can type, you can type it correctly. Texting with a cellphone is still understandable (if you're a cheapskate), but anywhere else you're just the fungus that's rotting away the society that everyone is trying to advance.

You do have to take in mind that for a lot of people English isn't their native language. The only thing they might come in contact with through the internet is this "chatspeek".

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Why do you need a girlfriend for blowjobs?

Good question.
I like a familiar face?

 

[<RJMC>]

my younger brother once caught me...bastard......I hoped that didnt affected him,but at the end he get more girls that me

also lonelines is your best friend,or showers

I always do it while showering,if I dont then is cuz I did it earlier,or maybe do it again while showering