Kid commits suicide with OD live on webcam

[Ravioli]

So /b/ just raided this kid who then took tons of drugs and collapsed live on cam, then after hours the door was busted in and two cops came in with guns drawn, the kid did not react at all, body just layed there. The camera is covered atm, watch if you want.

http://www.justin.tv/feels_like_ecstacy

It just happened a while ago, theres archived vids of the cops busting in, but i dont want to link to that because i dont want hl2.net servers to get raided by the cops lol.

EDIT:

Forum in which he was active
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=112065561

I believe this was his last post:


The Note
To Whom It May Concern,
I am going to leave this for whoever stumbles across my bookmarks later on.
I hate myself and I hate living. I think that if someone who knows me
reads this they will know who I am. So I will leave this unsigned. I am
an a@#hole. I have let everyone down and I feel as though I will never
change or never improve. I am in love with a girl and I know that I am
not good enough for her. I have come
to believe that my life has all been meaningless. I keep trying and I
keep failing. I have thought about and attempted suicide many times in
the past. I used to think of my failure as some mystical way of telling
me that I was really meant for something meaningful. The only thing I
dread, besides the pain, is the way my family will suffer. I do not want
my mother or father to think that it was anything they did that lead me
to kill myself. I never really had any plans of leaving a note. I
thought that I would not be able to describe why I want to do this and I
am right. There is no way to tell you or anyone else why I dread every
new day. My father had such high expectations for me and tried to give
me every opportunity to improve upon myself. I let him down. I think
that I am a major disappointment to him. I have a job but I?m always broke
and I am in college but barely, I show up to class but that?s about it.
I want my life to end. I am tired of f@#$ing up everything. I
am tired of people always telling me that they do not like me. I am
tired of trying to be decent. I hope that someone finds this post and I
hope that my parents know that I f@#$ed up not them. It is my fault I
screwed up my own life.
The hate that rages within me, rages not for those I love so dearly or
those who have crossed my path.
This hate rages full force towards me and only me.
I have long forgiven those who've hurt me, but I have not and cannot
come to terms to forgive myself for the things I have done to myself, and
the things I've done to hurt those in my life.
You have all touched my life in one way or another,
especially those whom I call family.
I cannot tell you how sorry I am for ending my life the way I did. I
hope that you can all find it in your heart to see it as way for me not
suffering anymore and that I am finally at rest with myself, for being at
rest with the guilt that constantly ate at me for so long.
Please forgive me all for taking my own life so early. I tried so hard
to fight against this strong battle. I have reached out for help so many
times, and yet I believe, I was turned away because of the things I did,
that it is a punishment I am willing to take, for I know that being who I am
has only brought myself and others pain.
I love you all and will forever live within the memories we created.
Forgive me.
Love always and forever,
As for my signature I will leave you with a quote so that if anyone
reads this they will know it's me, "Can?t feel pain if your dead? Just Saying"
__________________
When I'm in a rock band, I'm gonna do a cool, mellow song. Then in the middle I'll stop, announce "This part is just to be an ******* to people playing Guitar Hero," and then fail wildly on the strings for 30 seconds


Miscer Black Ops - Code Name Junkie

 

[Tyguy]

not even going to attempt to try that url....thats ****ed up

 

[Lucid]

Looks fake, tbh.
Also, f*ck off with this /b/ shit. :|

edit: If he did really kill himself, what a f*cking coward.
He's only f*cking 19, he has his WHOLE F*CKING LIFE TO FIX EVERYTHING.

Bullshit excuse to off yourself, he should've sought help from a shrink or something.

edit: He's a piece of shit who has just ruined his parents lives too, I hope he burns in hell. etc.

 

[Pesmerga]

Someone died.

Awesome story bro.

 

[Absinthe]

told u i was hardcore

 

[Rizzo]

That's ****ed up. He laid still for a long time.

 

[Ravioli]

Looks fake, tbh.
Also, f*ck off with this /b/ shit. :|

What? Im just stating what just happened, and /b/ happened to be raiding this guy, which im now telling you. You want me to **** off for the simple act of telling what just ****ing happened?

 

[lefty]

told u i was hardcore

**** I lol'd.

 

[Lucid]

What? Im just stating what just happened, and /b/ happened to be raiding this guy, which im now telling you. You want me to **** off for the simple act of telling what just ****ing happened?

Are we supposed to show sympathy or something?
I can't find any to give.

Here, I hope he lives so his parents get to kick the shit out of him.

 

[Ravioli]

Nope, i never said you should, im just delivering the news of what happened, and you tell me to **** off :/ thats why im just kinda confused.

 

[NeptuneUK]

Holy shit....

that is all..

 

[Darkside55]

I am heartily enjoying the meta conversation between Ravioli and Lucid. Please, continue.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

****ing awesome.

 

[Druckles]

It's disgusting. I hope the entirety of mankind dies like off like this.

 

[Darkside55]

It's disgusting. I hope the entirety of mankind dies like off like this.

Sentence fragment does not correspond with sentence.

 

[Mellish]

Wow. Just wow. /b/ is fail and always will be.

 

[Shift]

Don't know if it was fake and not but either way, anyone in that situation who does go and do it, gets no sympathy from me, I know people who HAVE had it bad in the lifetime and never complain about anything or get or depressed or feel sorry for themselves, they just get on with life and accept that they have problems but they can be fixed.

People like that just need to realize that they aren't bastard on this planet who had problems, and that just taking your life so cheaply is an utterly disgraceful and disgusting act, I know what parents go through when they loose a son, I saw it with my parents when my brother died, and for someone to throw that upon the people who he apparently cares about, just because he is too busy feeling sorry for himself to actually just get on with it, is just shocking.

My two cents.

 

[Citadel]

Well, it doesn't seem that he thinks that his life is difficult. He loathed himself, and that was the reason for his suicide. I know it may be hard for some of the cynics here to realize this, but depression is usually not something that can be easily controlled. Things in life affect everybody very differently. I hardly think it is fair to berate the guy. I admit, that his actions were not rational, but self-loathing, and depression in general, causes people to do things they may regret. Or when fatal, are too dead to give much of a crap.

And as for it being a cheap and disgusting act, well... Broadcasting it was disgusting, but those who watched it are undoubtedly worse in my opinion. From the note, it also seems he realized he would cause pain. He needs help to right his depression, not to be criticized. I find support is generally more effective than the expert critique doled out by the "worldly-wise."

Note: I am not saying that everyone should coo over him and attend his funeral, hospital room, or whatever, I am simply pointing out that he is not truly a coward, he is depressed. It's not something that can be controlled, especially when nobody else knows about it.

 

[Darkside55]

Just because other people can suck it up doesn't mean everyone can. Personally I think it's dickish to say, "Other people have it just as bad or as worse than you, and they're not killing THEMSELVES. Other people have problems too; if you kill yourself you're just disgusting."

Good for those people, you know, but what the hell does "other people have problems too," really have to do with that individual's own problems? OH GEE MAYBE WE CAN FORM A DEPRESSION CLUB. Not everyone has a high tolerance for accepting and moving beyond their situation; to go and call them 'disgusting' or 'disgraceful' because they can't just 'get over it,' well aren't we high and mighty?

Also, "throwing that upon people he cares about," look man do you live for the people around you? Do you always do what's best for everyone that you know and care about? What about what you feel is best for you? If you can't get past your problem and you're sitting there suffering and you're thinking, "What would my family feel? What would my friends think?" you're going to be obsessing over it and digging yourself into a deeper pit of depression. And on top of that, you're either going to keep on living in misery because you feel to guilty to go through with it because of other people, or you end up doing it and look what happens: a whole bunch of people you don't even know on a message board say you'll get no sympathy from them because you couldn't suck it up and put a burden on other peoples' feelings. You either decide to do what you feel is best for you and get slammed for it (at least you're dead and won't care, but your memory is getting tarnished) or you go on living with your problems because of guilt.

****'s sakes, some of you.

 

[NeptuneUK]

I'm sure I'm not the only person who has experienced people they know attempting suicide, sometimes successfully.
It's no laughing matter.

 

[Citadel]

I'm sure I'm not the only person who has experienced people they know attempting suicide, sometimes successfully.
It's no laughing matter.

Exactly. Those that think that suicide is selfish have obviously had no experience with depression. Isn't it more selfish that you'd expect someone to live in utter misery, than them causing pain unto others?

Darkside: My thoughts exactly.

 

[Sheepo]

This is kid is a total dickhead asshole who deserves to rot in hell.

Honestly guys, if you don't feel bad, show respect on the basis that he is another human being who died.

 

[Druckles]

Personally I think it's dickish to say, "Other people have it just as bad or as worse than you, and they're not killing THEMSELVES. Other people have problems too; if you kill yourself you're just disgusting."

It is. What's disgusting are people's comments regarding it.

It is the choice of that person to take their own life. Stay out of it.

 

[kineaesth]

Everyone in this thread is making very little sense except for Citadel and neptuneuk and Darkside and maybe Druckles, I can't quite tell.

 

[Cpt Tenacious]

He laid still for a long time.

Dead people tend to do that.

 

[morgs]

Dead people tend to do that.

I loi'd at this

 

[Shift]

I will express my opinions on the subject how I like, whether it is correct or not is irrelevant. I am and always have been completely against suicide, yeh ok, I don't fully understand what they are going through, but I believe no matter how bad the situation is, they can fix it, and come out the other side a better person. Life is a magnificent gift, and yes their experience of it may be shitty, but just for the mere prospect of actually leading a normal life, is worth it enough imo, to fight through it to the other side, than simply saying, 'I know, I will just kill myself..', may fix the problem for him, but it just completely ****s up the life of everyone around him.

May be an arsehole'ish opinion, but thats how I feel, I have no sympathy for it unless the person knows they are going to die and just doing it to get off quickly before the pain starts or something like that.

 

[Druckles]

this Everyone for is making and Citadel very little sense except and and maybe Druckles Darkside, in I can't quite thread neptuneuk tell.

Sorry?

May be an arsehole'ish opinion, but thats how I feel, I have no sympathy for it unless the person knows they are going to die and just doing it to get off quickly before the pain starts or something like that.

If you couldn't care less, then why do you comment on it so aggressively? It's clear that you don't simply have "no sympathy", but you despise them.

 

[<RJMC>]

so he was going to suicide after all?

I thought it was that the people fo the chat where telling him things like "come on take those pills and put a webcam so we can fap to it!"

 

[The Monkey]

That forum thread was dreadful to read. At first they were like "kill yourself, emofag". After they saw he wasn't breathing they got really scared. Everybody told people to call the cops, but no one did it. At last this one guy from India called.

 

[Shift]

Sorry?



If you couldn't care less, then why do you comment on it so aggressively? It's clear that you don't simply have "no sympathy", but you despise them.

I suppose that makes sense, I do feel strongly about it, but I don't despise them, I just feel they really have taken the wrong option for themselves and their family. They think that there is no one who can help them get through their troubles but its really they are just choosing not to be helped most the time I think. Its just such a waste of life, thats really what bugs me the most about it.

 

[Druckles]

What good's life?

 

[Krynn72]

He said he was an asshole, and I have no reason not to trust him... so... Douchebag deserved it?

 

[Shift]

I think the whole thing is fake anyway, if you were that depressed that you were going to kill yourself, you would not be in the frame of mind to be going on forums and publicly stating how you are going to kill yourself and coming up with crap like what film you are going to watch as you die. AND THEN set up a webcam just to prove it, prove it to who? A bunch of random people on the internet? You are killing yourself, whats the point. Not to mention I'm sure I saw him breathing on that short clip when the cops came into the room.

Ive seen it done so many times in the past, just this guy has taken it to new levels, the internet is of full of people just looking for attention. Seems like a hoax to me.

 

[Darkside55]

I will express my opinions on the subject how I like, whether it is correct or not is irrelevant. I am and always have been completely against suicide, yeh ok, I don't fully understand what they are going through, but I believe no matter how bad the situation is, they can fix it, and come out the other side a better person. Life is a magnificent gift, and yes their experience of it may be shitty, but just for the mere prospect of actually leading a normal life, is worth it enough imo, to fight through it to the other side, than simply saying, 'I know, I will just kill myself..', may fix the problem for him, but it just completely ****s up the life of everyone around him.

That IS the point, though: you're against suicide but you have absolutely no idea how the person is feeling. Life is not automatically magnificent. It's rarely magnificent. People see life as a gift because they can't imagine it being any other way; to people who feel that suicide is an option, life is a burden to them. They are blinded to any silver lining or rainbow road ahead.

You're saying, "their experience might be shitty...but they can fix it...and lead a normal life." This is not a blanket statement that can be applied to everyone. You have to realize that a lot of people have a really low mental constitution for problems. Helplessness and hopelessness can be so damn overwhelming that the idea of having a normal life is completely shut out. And you can't say whether that's wrong or right, or that they should just man up and fix their problems. You can't say whether they haven't TRIED fixing their problems. You're simply speaking from a position of, "I can suck it up, why can't they? I don't understand it, so I don't condone it, and I think they're disgusting."

Anyone who thinks suicide is "disgusting," or "the loser's/coward's way out," you're fully welcome to having your opinion. It simply isn't an opinion that allows room for any empathy. Instead of attempting to question why this person would hate himself so much that he'd be driven to kill himself, why he'd be filled with such self-loathing and inner turmoil that he'd write a letter to his parents absolving them of any blame, instead putting his death all on himself, you'd call him as a selfish and weak individual.

 

[Druckles]

publicly stating how you are going to kill yourself and coming up with crap like what film you are going to watch as you die.

This is what I have an issue with.

 

[Krynn72]

Plus posting it on the internet.

 

[CrazyHarij]

Originally Posted by stev310 View Post
should someone call the cops?
he didnt put the (serious) tag so i think we are all in the clear

jesus

anyway the guy seemed pretty clear about his choice so good for him

That IS the point, though: you're against suicide but you have absolutely no idea how the person is feeling. Life is not automatically magnificent. It's rarely magnificent. People see life as a gift because they can't imagine it being any other way; to people who feel that suicide is an option, life is a burden to them. They are blinded to any silver lining or rainbow road ahead.

You're saying, "their experience might be shitty...but they can fix it...and lead a normal life." This is not a blanket statement that can be applied to everyone. You have to realize that a lot of people have a really low mental constitution for problems. Helplessness and hopelessness can be so damn overwhelming that the idea of having a normal life is completely shut out. And you can't say whether that's wrong or right, or that they should just man up and fix their problems. You can't say whether they haven't TRIED fixing their problems. You're simply speaking from a position of, "I can suck it up, why can't they? I don't understand it, so I don't condone it, and I think they're disgusting."

Anyone who thinks suicide is "disgusting," or "the loser's/coward's way out," you're fully welcome to having your opinion. It simply isn't an opinion that allows room for any empathy. Instead of attempting to question why this person would hate himself so much that he'd be driven to kill himself, why he'd be filled with such self-loathing and inner turmoil that he'd write a letter to his parents absolving them of any blame, instead putting his death all on himself, you'd call him as a selfish and weak individual.

The people who post that sort of bullshit are the same people who don't' really believe in depression so I don't see their opinion as worth jack shit. It's the reason stuff like this goes unnoticed when it could be stopped and changed

 

[Shift]

That IS the point, though: you're against suicide but you have absolutely no idea how the person is feeling. Life is not automatically magnificent. It's rarely magnificent. People see life as a gift because they can't imagine it being any other way; to people who feel that suicide is an option, life is a burden to them. They are blinded to any silver lining or rainbow road ahead.

You're saying, "their experience might be shitty...but they can fix it...and lead a normal life." This is not a blanket statement that can be applied to everyone. You have to realize that a lot of people have a really low mental constitution for problems. Helplessness and hopelessness can be so damn overwhelming that the idea of having a normal life is completely shut out. And you can't say whether that's wrong or right, or that they should just man up and fix their problems. You can't say whether they haven't TRIED fixing their problems. You're simply speaking from a position of, "I can suck it up, why can't they? I don't understand it, so I don't condone it, and I think they're disgusting."

Anyone who thinks suicide is "disgusting," or "the loser's/coward's way out," you're fully welcome to having your opinion. It simply isn't an opinion that allows room for any empathy. Instead of attempting to question why this person would hate himself so much that he'd be driven to kill himself, why he'd be filled with such self-loathing and inner turmoil that he'd write a letter to his parents absolving them of any blame, instead putting his death all on himself, you'd call him as a selfish and weak individual.

Yeah you have a point.

But anyway I really doubt its real, also noted that the cop comes through the door with his gun drawn, they are responding to a possible suicide, not a hostage situation, why the hell would his gun need to be drawn. Not to mention it took them ages before they actually decided to check his pulse. I mean if its real then damn but tbh the whole things stinks.

 

[Darkside55]

I can't say anything for this particular case's validity, but that same scenario happens pretty often. There's tons of times this happens for real.

Also I think police might draw their guns in suicide cases just in case the person gets violent. I'll have to ask one of my cop friends.