Make a James Bond Film

[falconwind]

Hey everybody, I've always liked James Bond films, particularly the sound of the titles. I've been straining to think up a name that would sound at home among the real Bond films and a plot to go with it. Maybe you guys can help me out?

Can you think of any James Bond-style titles?
Some tongue-in-cheek names for female counterparts?
Villian names?
The "evil scheme"?

Here's the real movies to start you off:
Dr. No
From Russia with Love
Goldfinger
Thunderball
You Only Live Twice
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Diamond Are Forever
Live and Let Die
The Man with the Golden Gun
The Spy Who Loved Me
Moonraker
For Your Eyes Only
Octopussy
Never Say Never Again
A View to a Kill
The Living Daylights
Licence to Kill
Goldeneye
Tomorrow Never Dies
The World Is Not Enough
Die Another Day

Everything or Nothing

 

[CheapAssStrat]

James Bond 007: Today is Tomorrow's Yesterday

 

[CheapAssStrat]

Or how about...

James Bond 007: 'I' Before 'E' Exept After 'C'

 

[falconwind]

James Bond 007: Danger is Everything
Venessa Haughtbodee
The People's Liberation Army, masquerading as US Special Forces and CIA agents attack a British Military Base and steal an experimental gravity well generator. Bond is sent to investigate the matter and to either destroy or return the stolen technology. This brings Bond to Washington DC, with disasterous results, as the MI6 agent causes vehicular and ballistic mayhem to the nation's capital as he attempt to track down the PLA and uncovers a web of lies and corruption.

 

[Dedalus]

James Bond: Not now dear I've left the iron on.

there are quite a few James Bond books knocking around. saw one the other day in waterstones, James Bond: Zero Minus Ten. has something to do with an evil (yeah they're always evil) dude who has his base right on the top of a very very high mountain, and bond has to climb the mountain to reach him or something, but there's definitely some sort of mountains involved.

 

[Dux]

Octopussy

I'm sorry, but that one always gets me.

James Bond 007 : To Live Today, But To Die Tomorrow while Dying Yesterday.

Ahah... oh.

 

[Pauly]

James Bond Does his taxes (and fights the tax collectors with 2 nickel plated 45's)

 

[Sprafa]

James Bond : Icefinger & Iceeye & the Man with an icy weapon (joking with so many referecnes to gold in James Bond movs...)


Serious

James Bond : Cold Fire

 

[DEATH eVADER]

Title- James Bond: Holy shit, he's done it again!
Girl- Cassandra Fux
Villain- Tim
Scheme- Tim has stolen Bonds retirement funds, so he has to track him down to Soho, London, where he meets Cassandra Fux. Bond/Fux/Tim has a nice ring to it, don't you think. Bond kills Tim, and goes out with Fux....

What you were expecting something else, well excuse me

 

[FictiousWill]

wow - "Cassandra Fux" <--- that one wins.

How about a mix of existing titles?
'Thunderpussy'?

:naughty:

 

[nw909]

wow - "Cassandra Fux" <--- that one wins.

How about a mix of existing titles?
'Thunderpussy'?

:naughty:

Indeed, how about GoldBall

 

[AudioRage]

The Spy Who Goldballed Me

 

[DEATH eVADER]

The Man With The GoldenPussy

 

[CrazyHarij]

The spy who pwned m3!!!11

 

[AudioRage]

From Pussy with Thunderballs.

 

[Dedalus]

come on guys! Bond is all about innuendo, not slap you in the face rudness!

some good ones though Thunderpussy indeed

 

[Sulkdodds]

A Cold Day In Hell

Bond is enjoying a well-earned weekend of relaxation on a Carribbean cruise, even though he's atually there to protect Donald Murray, the head of the UN weapons inspector squad. When the boat is attacked by terrorists rapelling down from choppers, Bond goes into all-action mode. But despite his best efforts Murray is captured. Bond is set on the trail to rescue him, following a tracking device in his clothes to Miami. An encounter with an ambush group in a bar leads him to being held at gunpoint by an agent affiliated with the terrorists, Rhiana Stone (Not actually innuendo-ish in any way. Maybe she should be called Gona Ria). They form an uneasy alliance, since Stone has split off from the terrorists. They investigate the Miami underworld (inculding a comedy rogue mafia don in a Hawiian shirt) and hear rumours about a corrupt UN official. After a few misadventures the truth comes out. Murray's capture was arranged by him. He is going to supply the terrorists, who are an anti-British load of crazies, with a confiscated nuclear bomb. His motive? Oh, just money. They have just left for London. Bond and Stone race back to London and get there before the terrorists (who are using a boat, obviously...try taking a nuke on commercial flight) and alert the authorities. London, in the midts of a bad blizzard, becomes much more heavily guarded and security is stepped up. But they still don't know where or when the terrorists will strike. Bond conducts a raid on a nightclub where Murray is said to be and captures him. Murray tells Bond that the nuke is being carried in a suitcase by the terrorist leader, one Carlos Ramone. The search is on for a tall man with black hair and a moustache, carrying a suitcase. When Ramone pays for a train ticket the use of his creit card alerts MI6 to his whereabouts. Bond closes in as Stone directs him by radio, narrowly missing the train and going after it in a maintenace car. The train runs both underground an overground (wombling free) as Bond tries to catch Ramone. Ramone manages to get off the train while it's still moving and so ensues a blinding chase through London. Ramone has not yet armed the bomb and so can't detonate it until he has a moment to stop. As he is chased, the terrorists, knowing they have nothing to lose, begin openly attacking the city. Amidst the chaos Ramone hops aboard the London eye. Bond follows but doesn't make it tot he same bubble. As Ramone begins to arm the bomb Bond climbs outside and tries to get to the bomb, contested by a helicopter full of terrorists. He defeats the helicopter, breaks intot he bubble and fights with Ramone, who has managed to arm the bomb and all through the fight is trying to flip the switch. Bond kills Ramone and disarms the bomb. The end!

The middle section would be more like the earlier Bond films....more investigating and fraternising with the enemy and less all-out action. And I haven't mentioned any of the particular little thigns, pieces of innuendo, etc.