my girlfriend wont get/stay wet (serious question, dont read if your under 18 please)

[NeptuneUK]

It's still full of lulz.

 

[hool10]

Wow...just BOW CHICA WOW WOW! Ever try that KY warming jelly? They say it turns hot like Bengay. :| */b/ I can't get my girlfriend wet. What should I do?

 

[Darkside55]

What you've gotta do is, you take some butter out of the fridge, microwave it for 8 minutes, then put it in a glass and pour it on her cooter.

Then give her two N64 games, preferably Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball.

 

[Eejit]

But how do you shut her up?

 

[nurizeko]

hey fellas,
this probably seems a little weird, but i really wanna know whats wrong here. Ive been with my girlfriend for 5-6 months now and lately we've been trying to have sex. but the problem is, she cant get wet, or when she does, she cant stay wet. Shes not a virgin but she claims that it hurts so bad that she goes dry. Anyone know what i can do or she can do. and please don't say KY please. cause that's not happening. Can i get some serious answers please. thanks.

She's broken and incapable of enjoying sex because it hurts.

Give up and move on. :cheers:

 

[Majestic XII]

You're not doing you job! You need to keep her aroused Putting your fireman in her isnt the thing she's most excited about, it's everything sourounding.

Start working those hands of yours, kiss her neck... that kind of shit.

 

[B_MAN]

maybe she's not attracted to you anymore.

 

[Majestic XII]

Or you could just smack your bitch up, teach her a lesson.

 

[Darkside55]

But how do you shut her up?

Give her another game.

 

[Hectic Glenn]

Maybe if you were capable of arousing her you wouldn't be having this problem.

Aye, her partner isn't up to the job, get a professional in.

 

[RakuraiTenjin]

yeah but using lube is so lame.
theres gotta be something else i could do.

lol how the **** is using lube lame?

 

[Seppo]

cuz its cheatign m8

 

[Qonfused]

Send her to my house lmao brofist.

lol'd hard

 

[nipples]

Well sir, your penis is obviously broken.

 

[mchammer75040]

Send her to my house lmao brofist.

****in lol.

Anyways slip her a roffie, cause from the sounds of it she ain't into you anymore dude. Better hit it all you can before she dumps you.

 

[L3N!N]

hey fellas,
this probably seems a little weird, but i really wanna know whats wrong here. Ive been with my girlfriend for 5-6 months now and lately we've been trying to have sex. but the problem is, she cant get wet, or when she does, she cant stay wet. Shes not a virgin but she claims that it hurts so bad that she goes dry. Anyone know what i can do or she can do. and please don't say KY please. cause that's not happening. Can i get some serious answers please. thanks.

I'm a medical doctor, so I'll want you to answer a series of questions.

First off,
When was the last time she had sex?

Secondly,
Was the experience good/bad (anything unusual or hurtful besides the breaking of the Hymen?)

Third,
Has the lack-of-wetness occurred before?

Fourthly,
Is she taking any medication/has there been past use of medication?

Ask her these questions, post the answers. I don't think that you're "doing-it-wrong," at all. And, like Stern said, buy some lube.

Edit:

lol, how's that for a serious post...

 

[Lizardizzle]

sounds like aquaphobia, or the fear of water, and/or getting wet (Or the felling of being wet).

Sucks for you. No sex

 

[PvtRyan]

I'm a medical doctor, so I'll want you to answer a series of questions.

First off,
When was the last time she had sex?

Secondly,
Was the experience good/bad (anything unusual or hurtful besides the breaking of the Hymen?)

Third,
Has the lack-of-wetness occurred before?

Fourthly,
Is she taking any medication/has there been past use of medication?

Fifthly,

Does she have nice tits? If so, pics plx.

Ask her these questions, post the answers. I don't think that you're "doing-it-wrong," at all. And, like Stern said, buy some lube.

Edit:

lol, how's that for a serious post...

Fixed that for you.

 

[Krynn72]

Just ignore her cries and carry on about your business.

 

[Seppo]

PvtRyan

I am very glad that you have added the fifth question. It is very important.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

She don't like yo dick

 

[PvtRyan]

Yeah this. Foreplay is really important as well; going down on her beforehand should help. And I doubt that it "hurts so bad she goes dry," but rather it hurts because she's gone dry.

What do you know about vagina's?

 

[<RJMC>]

what if put your dick in a glass full of honey or jam and them inside her cuchicuhi

and tape the whole thing so we can see it and send more advices

 

[The Monkey]

Secondly,
Was the experience good/bad (anything unusual or hurtful besides the breaking of the Hymen?)

You know the whole breaking the hymen thing is bullshit, right?

 

[nipples]

what if put your dick in a glass full of honey or jam and them inside her cuchicuhi

and tape the whole thing so we can see it and send more advices

Sounds sloppy...and f*cking hot.

 

[PvtRyan]

I have had enough experience with vaginas to know there is no apostrophe necessary in their pluralization

En/US Firefox dictionary disagrees.

 

[Majestic XII]

What a very nerdy discussion. People, focus, we're talking about lady bits here mmkay?

 

[Hectic Glenn]

You know the whole breaking the hymen thing is bullshit, right?

Don't make me come over there and break your [STRIKE]jaw[/STRIKE] hymen.

 

[PvtRyan]

"Breaking Hyneman?"

 

[L3N!N]

You know the whole breaking the hymen thing is bullshit, right?

Then why did she bleed?

Edit:

Hiring a lawyer...

 

[Fliko]

You know that chicks who don't get wet are just dudes that had a sex change.

(Don't worry, usually those chicks apply lube in the bathroom before they have sex just incase you know that.)

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

You must whet her appetite if you want her to stay wet.

 

[Laivasse]

Options are:

1) Eat her out then beat off on her titties.
or
2) Buy some lube and stop being such a foolio.

 

[SpiderPig]

Have sex under water.

 

[Kula Meenur]

Thread ****ing fails.


Seriously, get more time in the sack.

 

[hool10]

Hai guyz, how do you getz vagina's wet? :dork: *Dagget, you arn't Amish like Shamrock right? Those PA residents, you just never know sometimes... **Wait the Amish can't use a computer, damn.

 

[Nitre]

I have had enough experience with vaginas to know there is no apostrophe necessary in their pluralization

Pah, that just comes down to grammar. You know nothing!

 

[Sheepo]

Spoiler

I'm not even 18 you guys!

 

[Daggett]

im so ****in proud of what i started!!
most replies ive ever got on a thread!
I FEEL FAMOUS!! LAWLSOMG!!

 

[Sheepo]

GO AWAY WE'RE TRYING TO PROLL THESE FORUMSchar