my mom died this morning

It won't hit you for a few more days/weeks. But once you make it through that, you'll be alright. Took awhile to hit me. It will hit hard, and it will hit fast, right when you least expect it. But know that once you've gone over that peak, it will never be any worse than at that one instant and only better things will come. Sorry, Ennui.
 
:(

Sorry to hear this.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

:(
 
I hope you stay strong. My mother has diabetes and a weak heart as well as severe depression, so I worry about her constantly. She's also ten years older than your mother was so time is not on her side. I worry every few weeks that it's my last days with her, and we spend them fighting, so it's miserable.

I seriously hope you'll end up being okay, and wish you the best.
 
I'm really sorry to hear this.

Really hope you pull through.
 
God, this is awful. I'm so sorry.

We're all here for you, man.
 
So sorry to hear this news man.. I know we haven't talked in a while, but feel free to message me if you want to talk.
 
thank you guys :)

Day 2 is very weird, yesterday was a rollercoaster but today's more like driving across a plain. We still haven't been able to get in touch with my father and brother at Bonnaroo, but we're crossing our fingers that he'll call to check in today and we'll be able to get the news to them :(
 
So sorry to hear that mate, thats terrible. :(
 
Do you have people to talk to, Ennui? You shouldn't be alone at this time.
 
Ennui said:
thank you guys :)

Day 2 is very weird, yesterday was a rollercoaster but today's more like driving across a plain. We still haven't been able to get in touch with my father and brother at Bonnaroo, but we're crossing our fingers that he'll call to check in today and we'll be able to get the news to them :(
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Im sure your mother had a wonderous life and that she loved you.Remember that, and you will get through it! :):):)
 
That's really terrible to hear, Ennui. I can't think of anything to say other than I'm very sorry for your loss. =\

44 is young, and I can't imagine what you're experiencing. And it must suck being in the position of having to deliver the news to others. I just wish you and your family the best in getting through this.
 
The Monkey said:
Do you have people to talk to, Ennui? You shouldn't be alone at this time.
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Yeah, fortunately I have a very close friend who lost her mother to cancer two years ago, she's been amazing and her being around has helped me a lot because she truly understands and is willing to let me use her as a crutch/pain siphon.

I finally got in touch with my father and told him on the phone, he and my brother are incredibly torn up and going through everything I did yesterday right now, but headed home at least. It's been really weird and hard to handle the whole thing as the only immediate family member present, but at least the others know now and can begin healing.
 
ouch. 44? I thought i had it hard with my own mother going through a seriously rough patch right now at 60 so i feel for you. Finding a relative cold, lifeless but overall peacefull and serene can be a harrowing experience but i take comfort in knowing that after finding my grandfather in such a way that he went quickly and not painfully.

Just remember to keep your chin up and remember that throughout the joyous and precious gift of life we all have, we're all on the long path towards mortality, its just that the destination and time of arrival is never of our own choosing. Be strong friend...
 
Ennui said:
what the title says. my mother, who was 44, died in her sleep last night. i found her dead this morning. she was cold. i'd never seen someone dead before. i have never lost anybody close to me and it is by far the most painful experience of my life.

my dad and younger brother are in Tennessee at bonnaroo and we havent been able to get in touch with them yet.

i knew i would have to face losing a parent one day but i thought i had decades.

FUCK.
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OMG man, you mentioned before in another thread how one of your greatest fears was losing one of you own. I feel your pain. It's gonna be absolutely terrible for me when my mom goes, but what happened to you was totally unexpected wasn't it?

That really sucks though Ennui. If I was in NC, I'd give you a big man hug right now. ;(

One of life's terrible experiences that we all have to face one day. I dread the day it happens to my mother and father.
 
my god that's awful, I'm not good with the words and I dont really know what to say.


I'm so sorry for your loss man :(
 
That ****ing sucks man, condolences to you and your family. Stay strong.
 
:( I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with a sudden death like that, stay strong! Best wishes on hopes for you and your family.
 
sorry to hear that man,

that's really shocking that it happened so fast and without warning.
 
I hope you make it through this mate, truly sorry for your loss.

Hold in there.
 
My condolences.

My dad died at age 59. Hurts like hell. Time doesn't heal wounds, IMO, you only learn to wait longer before reopening them over time. []Deace
 
damn sorry to hear that ..44 is far too young to leave a family behind ...my condolences
 
things are slowly becoming more manageable, the memorial service is tomorrow and after that i feel like i can really set off down the road towards healing. i miss her every second of every day and that's not going to change, and all i can say for those of you who are more fortunate than I am is never, ever dare to allow yourself to take the presence of those you love for granted or leave anything that you want to say unsaid. however a strange comfort has come to me in the past several days of thinking and grieving, and i can't be anything but thankful for the time i spent with her; i know she knew that i loved her and thought she was a wonderful mother despite her persistent doubts on the matter, and that now whereever or whatever she is her pain and suffering over the past decade or so has finally been lifted forever.

thank you all so much for your condolences and solidarity, it helps more than you could guess and i love each and every one of you no matter how many infractions i've given you
 
Ennui said:
things are slowly becoming more manageable, the memorial service is tomorrow and after that i feel like i can really set off down the road towards healing. i miss her every second of every day and that's not going to change, and all i can say for those of you who are more fortunate than I am is never, ever dare to allow yourself to take the presence of those you love for granted or leave anything that you want to say unsaid. however a strange comfort has come to me in the past several days of thinking and grieving, and i can't be anything but thankful for the time i spent with her; i know she knew that i loved her and thought she was a wonderful mother despite her persistent doubts on the matter, and that now whereever or whatever she is her pain and suffering over the past decade or so has finally been lifted forever.

thank you all so much for your condolences and solidarity, it helps more than you could guess and i love each and every one of you no matter how many infractions i've given you
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From what little you can gauge these things from across the internet, it seems you're showing great strength at this time, and for that... massive, massive respect to you. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would feel like, but could imagine myself easily falling apart. Best wishes for the tough times ahead.
 
Ennui said:
things are slowly becoming more manageable, the memorial service is tomorrow and after that i feel like i can really set off down the road towards healing. i miss her every second of every day and that's not going to change, and all i can say for those of you who are more fortunate than I am is never, ever dare to allow yourself to take the presence of those you love for granted or leave anything that you want to say unsaid. however a strange comfort has come to me in the past several days of thinking and grieving, and i can't be anything but thankful for the time i spent with her; i know she knew that i loved her and thought she was a wonderful mother despite her persistent doubts on the matter, and that now whereever or whatever she is her pain and suffering over the past decade or so has finally been lifted forever.

thank you all so much for your condolences and solidarity, it helps more than you could guess and i love each and every one of you no matter how many infractions i've given you
Click to expand...

That's the spirit, matey.

Good luck with the memorial service - for me it was quite an uplifting time as well as a sad time, being surrounded by friends and family there to pay their respects really helps. It's the evening after that sucks.

If it helps any, my mum died two months ago today and for a while now it's just been life as normal really. I think about her, but not constantly and it doesn't affect my emotional state a great deal when I do. It sounds heartless but I guess we just have to accept these things and move on, otherwise we die a little inside too.
You're dealing with this in a very constructive manner, and it's certainly more healthy and useful I feel to celebrate the life of a loved one than to mourn their death, which is what you seem to be focusing on so I know you'll come through this.

All the best.
 
Yeah Ennui you're a real dude for keeping up normal activity, still coming on this forum and everything, real strong way of dealing with it. Jeez if that happened to me you'd never hear from me for months. Keep it up mate.
 
That last update about not taking things for granted was really moving, especially in my own situation. You sound like you're taking it better than most of us ever could...My God dude this must be so alienating and terrifying.. :( My condolences..
 
imachesey0.jpg
 
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