My new piano composition - Etude No.3 a-moll "Whirlwind"

[NotATool]

http://m.1asphost.com/Therealnobody/whirlwind.mid

It's an etude in arpeggios, and a damn hard one. Composed it in 30 minutes even though it's 50 seconds long and repeats some, I'm a little slow.

Criticism and comments encouraged!

Thanks.

 

[Que-Ever]

Sounds like a castlevania MIDI. which isn't really a bad thing.

 

[Solaris]

Ok, but at the middle, where the volume goes low loud low, repeating the same bar/s, that's where I lost intrest into it, great beginning 20secounds though.

 

[Qhartb]

Decent little piece. Ending is abrupt, but I think it's unfinished.
Right hand arpeggios get monotonous, but an actual player would breath some life into it.

In general, melody needs to be brought out. Right hand should be brought way down in the A section. In the B section, I'm listening to the left hand and the downbeats of the right hand, but can't tell which is supposed to be the melody and which is supposed to be a complementary line. In either case, the downbeats in the right hand should feel more connected.

A lot of that can may just be you using the MIDI to write your ideas down rather than making a performance-quality MIDI. The MIDI pedaling makes the bass stuff muddy, but I know that's just the MIDI. If the stuff listed in the previous paragraph is just MIDI problems, the melody in the B section is the only I'd worry about.

I think that by far the weakest writing is the transition from B back to A, it feels like you ran out of ideas and wanted to make a cheap transition back to the solid A section.

Also, when the repeated chords start in the RH, I have a little issue with one note of the LH seeming to get lost. I LH figure goes:
1 2+3+|1(23)|1 2+3+|*1*(23)|1 2+3+|1(23)|1 2+3+|1(23)
(my apologies if it's actually in 6/8 or something, but 3/4 is easier to write in text)
and the *1* seems to sort of disappear into the RH's chords, giving a very incomplete feeling.

Just my $2.00.

 

[NotATool]

Thank you so much all of you, especially Qhartb. It's so hard to judge your own work, and getting constructive criticism really helps.

(it's in 3/4 btw)

 

[evil^milk]

YES! Finally another guy who writes piano music Seems like Qhartb nailed it though. I liked it

 

[Qhartb]

I hope by "nailed" you mean "was thourough and exact" rather than "was overly critical." I liked it.