People Comming To My Door

[Calanen]

Put a life-sized steel replica of a hell knight in your front lawn and kiss social interaction goodbye!

I think the fact that you were considering that course of action would mean that any prospect of social interaction was just wishful thinking.

 

[CptStern]

never never ever take a pamphlet ..it just gives them an excuse to come back. I've been stalked by Jehovahs witnesses for a few years now ...I guess they must have seen me as a challenge or a mission or something cuz they used to come to my house almost every sunday for more than a year. It started innocently enough with me being cordial and debating the fundamentals of religion and faith ...it finally culminated with a shouting match that started when I inadvertedly brought up blood transfusions (JW do not believe in blood transfusions and there was a case where they let a small boy die because of their beliefs) ...If I had known that the mention of a blood transfusion would send them packing I'd have done it a long time ago ...they recently started coming around again but this time I say from the very beginning "thanks, but no thanks I'm not interested, sorry I wont be accepting your pamphlets as a personal rule" ...they havent come by in a few months since the last time I've said that

 

[Zerimski]

I've only really been visited once by Jehovahs Witnesses. They woke me up, I opened the door, they started talking, I fell asleep standing up...and I woke up with a copy of the Watchtower wedged under my arm.

They didn't come back.

 

[KoreBolteR]

yeah i was talking about this yesterday on the flamers, and i think its a disgrace.. its harrassment tbh, trying to convert me... if i want to become religious, ill do it on my own accourd thank you very much.

i hate them all. (door preachers) (and salesmen ..lol)

i do what stern said, but they still knock...

 

[CREMATOR666]

Knock their head instead if they ever knock on your door again

 

[KoreBolteR]

Knock their head instead if they ever knock on your door again

yeh, with a kitchen spoon.

 

[john121]

i once opened the door to jehova's witnesses. I asked them what their beliefs were and stated my own, keeping them at my door for at least 45 minutes till they actually said that they had to leave... they were never back to my door again.

 

[Mechagodzilla]

See, you've got it all backwards. Instead of chasing them away, merely twist the situation so that you'll want them to come around.
For that to work, you need to try the patented* MechaG jehovah annoyance technique.

When any religious group comes to your door unsolicited, simply agree to convert...
...in exchange for a bucket of your favorite food.

Then just eat the food, renounce the faith, and repeat. I'd ask for spicy shrimp pasta
Or the jerks get weirded out and leave.

Either way you win!

*not actually patented.

 

[Fishlore]

During my college years I used to relish the times that a religious zealot would come along and try to peddle their religion on me. One interrupted me while I was studying in the library one time. I made her cry. I took great pride in ruining those people's day.

 

[Kangy]

During my college years I used to relish the times that a religious zealot would come along and try to peddle their religion on me. One interrupted me while I was studying in the library one time. I made her cry. I took great pride in ruining those people's day.

Yes, the Christian Union at my school does that a lot to me. They always seem to bother people wqhen they least want it. Once they caught me at a bad moment and I just said I was the founding member of Athiest Union and they kinda just wandered over to my friends and didn't seem to touch me for a bit.

 

[Zerimski]

Or, my personal favourite. Invite them in. Once they're inside, they won't have a clue what to do. Then you can lead them through to the garden, and leave them there. See how many you can collect.

 

[Kangy]

Or, my personal favourite. Invite them in. Once they're inside, they won't have a clue what to do. Then you can lead them through to the garden, and leave them there. See how many you can collect.

Religiomon! Gotta catch 'em all (before the police get suspicious)!

 

[Edcrab]

Problem with that approach is you have to feed the buggers ocassionally.

I mean, you could always let them rot down for cheap, enviromentally friendly fertiliser... hmm. "Christian Crop Mix", $99 a sack...

 

[Ames]

Problem with that approach is you have to feed the buggers ocassionally.

I mean, you could always let them rot down for cheap, enviromentally friendly fertiliser... hmm. "Christian Crop Mix", $99 a sack...

Thar's a penis in every bag!

 

[Teh_Poet]

If they are coming to your door they most likely 99% are not christians. Christians don't do that gay stuff. Most likely they are javoa witnesses(no clue on spelling) they always come to my door- Just start and ask them whats your opinion on evolution. If they deny evolution exists they are not christians. Plus they get freaked when you mention big bang or evolution lol.

Not all Christians believe in evolution: I believe the bible has not mistakes, and evolution interferes with Genesis.

 

[Zerimski]

Problem with that approach is you have to feed the buggers ocassionally.

If they're that hungry, they can eat themselves.

 

[Edcrab]

More testicles means more... godliness... in your roses. Yes.

 

[short recoil]

When jehovas come to my door i always go out and talk to the them.
They try and explain things in the way of god, while keeping very calm i state all the logical inconsistences with their views, they always end up getting frustrated desperatley clutching to their ignorance bred ideas and go away thinking i am evil or "in need of savoir" or something.
Where i live they always take a child with them in an attempt to somehow make them appear more friendly, i started saying about how they should give the child freedom of thought rather than forcing them to believe their religion is the ONLY possible way, they disagreed and came out with some rubbish which in my eyes resembled saying "those who don't believe are bad, you shouldn't have a choice to believe or not"
They leave after about 5 minutes of grilling and i'm sure they looked at me like scum, i leave laughing my ass off.

 

[<RJMC>]

why not do this?

they knock your door

you open and your are dissguised like marilyn manson and the pope and say "welcome to the first church of satan what can I help you?"

sure that will make then go away

and if they try to convert you just say "bah satan is 100 times better that that homeless, you want a pentragram necklage?"

and if they dont go just say "what if you come in and we talk about this while playing doom3?"

and if that dont work say "you know what I will introduce you my lord satan so he can give itself its points of view" and them pick up devil objects and pretend to make a ritual

if there is a woman in the group try to say something naughty whit her like "hey baby I am a devil in the bed"

and when they go away say "please come back soon satan loves you"

that should work

 

[el Chi]

Or, my personal favourite. Invite them in. Once they're inside, they won't have a clue what to do. Then you can lead them through to the garden, and leave them there. See how many you can collect.

In the first episode of Black Books, Bernard invites some Jehova's witnesses in and one of them just blurts out: "IT'S A TRICK!"
Very funny stuff.

 

[Kangy]

The Jehova's round here are kind of rude. They told me I was part of the problem! I was upset, and I cried for hours. Or not.

Oh, guess who'll probably visit my doorstep soon? Robert Kilroy Silk. Or at least somebody from Veritas. Yaaay, election build up.

(Yaaay, kitty litter box near the front door! Here's something that resembles my point of view on your manifesto, Kilroy! Get shafted! )

 

[KoreBolteR]

The Jehova's round here are kind of rude. They told me I was part of the problem! I was upset, and I cried for hours. Or not.

Oh, guess who'll probably visit my doorstep soon? Robert Kilroy Silk. Or at least somebody from Veritas. Yaaay, election build up.

(Yaaay, kitty litter box near the front door! Here's something that resembles my point of view on your manifesto, Kilroy! Get shafted! )

LOL you have an obsession with Kilroy .

people knocking door is the only reason the UK should legalise guns.

 

[Vigilante]

plant a giant cruficix in your front yardy

upside down.

 

[pAiNtHeAsS]

The problem is, is that they were ACTUALLY HELPFUL to me. I had a report due that I told them about, the next week, they come with 2 huge books and a huge stack of information!

 

[Teh_Poet]

Well, technically Jehovah's Witnesses are Christians.

Anyone who believes in Jesus as the messiah/saviour is a Christian.

The term 'Christian' is more like an umbrella term for all the denominations contained therein.

Oh, and pAiNtHeAsS, you should just tell them to go away. Don't worry about being impolite; they've already broken the bounds of good courtesy by pushing their religion upon you.

It depends on what definition of Christian you are using. Jehovah Witnesses believe they are Christians, but so do Mormons. And neither are really Christians, they have completely different believes. Most people would not consider a JW a Christian, they just use that title to get more people to join their so called 'denomination'.

 

[Mechagodzilla]

The problem is, is that they were ACTUALLY HELPFUL to me.

Exactly why you could make them even more helpful by asking for a bucket of food.
If these people are crazy enough to visit your home on a weekly basis in the name of god, they're crazy enough to buy a sack of pizza for him.

 

[Pogrom]

It depends on what definition of Christian you are using. Jehovah Witnesses believe they are Christians, but so do Mormons. And neither are really Christians, they have completely different believes. Most people would not consider a JW a Christian, they just use that title to get more people to join their so called 'denomination'.

My definition

1. One who professes belief in Jesus as Christ or follows the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.
2. One who lives according to the teachings of Jesus.

According to Wikipedia :

Jehovah's Witnesses (JW) are members of a worldwide Christian religious denomination.

 

[Calanen]

I had some Christians telling me in the USA that I was not a Christian because I was a Catholic. I'm not sure who these guys were - maybe Born Again type Christians. They had a lot of misconceptions about the Catholic faith and I was happy to have a chat with them about it.

Btw - I am just Catholic by background, I don't really believe in any of it anymore. Used to though.

 

[Kangy]

I had some Christians telling me in the USA that I was not a Christian because I was a Catholic. I'm not sure who these guys were - maybe Born Again type Christians. They had a lot of misconceptions about the Catholic faith and I was happy to have a chat with them about it.

Btw - I am just Catholic by background, I don't really believe in any of it anymore. Used to though.

That's the same as my girlfriend. She's now more athiest than me! But yes, perhaps they were following the teachings of that ultra-christian cartoonist guy that we all parodied and mocked badly a while ago. I seem to remember him teaching that Catholics were not only bad Christians, but unpatriotic. He also said that some other religions worshipped sun gods to ensure the sun rose every morning.

Sounds like the teachings of a well balanced and friendly kind of person.

 

[el Chi]

I had some Christians telling me in the USA that I was not a Christian because I was a Catholic. I'm not sure who these guys were - maybe Born Again type Christians. They had a lot of misconceptions about the Catholic faith and I was happy to have a chat with them about it.

That's ridiculous - it's bad enough they hassle people outside Christianity.

 

[Danimal]

This reminded me of someone selling me eggs door to door...

No idea why.

 

[Kangy]

Well, you can buy the eggs and throw them at the salesperson.

 

[Calanen]

That's the same as my girlfriend. She's now more athiest than me! But yes, perhaps they were following the teachings of that ultra-christian cartoonist guy that we all parodied and mocked badly a while ago..

Sounds like the teachings of a well balanced and friendly kind of person.

Is that the guy known as L Chick? I think his name is. The only reason I know this is that a guy at work gave a whole heap of these cartoon books to everyone. The cartoon book I saw, was about a guy drives a fast car, sees lots of women, and falls asleep in church. Then he dies and an Angel takes him and says 'You have an appointment' and he goes to be judged by God. I remember the list of sins the guy had including 'Whoremonger'. It was quite amusing. I wonder if you could say to the Angel, 'Im a buddhist, put me back...'

 

[Pogrom]

I had some Christians telling me in the USA that I was not a Christian because I was a Catholic. I'm not sure who these guys were - maybe Born Again type Christians. They had a lot of misconceptions about the Catholic faith and I was happy to have a chat with them about it.

Btw - I am just Catholic by background, I don't really believe in any of it anymore. Used to though.

Heh, I mean come on - what is up with common sense these days? It is a shame when people don't even know their own religion, let alone someone elses. Good for you that you showed them up.

Btw - I'm the same as you - Catholic on both sides of the family, 13 years of Catholic scool, but don't believe it no more.

 

[Fat Tony!]

I like the bucket of food idea, it's ingenious!
Shame ive only seen them come round once and that was when my parents were out and I was too young for them to try and convert me.