Periodic Table of Swearing

[Stormy]

"Face like a pissflap" - I gotta get me one of these!

http://www.creativereview.co.uk/cr-...n-toss-interactive-periodic-table-of-swearing

 

[<RJMC>]

that swearing so british made my ears bleed fish and chips

 

[Bad^Hat]

"**** right off out of it you arse."

Oh, you englishes.

 

[Stylo]

Yeah, this is not actually very English at all. You foreigners and your crazy perceptions of what English/Britishness is.

It's a Modern Toss thing, therefore they've designed the swearing in that manner on purpose because it's Modern Toss' type of humour.

 

[Raziaar]

that swearing so british made my ears bleed fish and chips

Yeah, totally.

Yeah, this is not actually very English at all. You foreigners and your crazy perceptions of what English/Britishness is.

It's a Modern Toss thing, therefore they've designed the swearing in that manner on purpose because it's Modern Toss' type of humour.

Toss? Come on... Toss is totally ****ing English. I never hear that in the states.

And every "asshole" word is spelled "arsehole". Totally British!

 

[Maestro]

Yeah, this is not actually very English at all. You foreigners and your crazy perceptions of what English/Britishness is.

It's a Modern Toss thing, therefore they've designed the swearing in that manner on purpose because it's Modern Toss' type of humour.

Care to name a country which this resembles more than Britain? This table sounds about as American as Elton John does.

 

[kineaesth]

I read a good one today - "The rankest cow that ever pissed"

 

[Raziaar]

I read a good one today - "The rankest cow that ever pissed"

How is that even a swear? lol. It sounds all old timey.

 

[Dax]

MHC; Massive homo c*nt should be in there just for the hell of it (if you watched Crank 2 you know what I mean).

 

[Stylo]

Toss? Come on... Toss is totally ****ing English. I never hear that in the states.

And every "asshole" word is spelled "arsehole". Totally British!

Care to name a country which this resembles more than Britain? This table sounds about as American as Elton John does.

Amazingly said by 2 Americans.

It's less "British" and more "Posh" swearing. British/English not being synonymous with posh. The most common 'swear words' I hear on a daily basis are f*ck, shit, piss and c*nt.

Eg. "Piss off you f*cking muggy little c*nt"

Seriously, English people don't swear like that on a regular basis. You need to watch Modern Toss to understand the mechanics of the board.

Here's a clip from YouTubes:

 

[Maestro]

...British posh nonetheless, are we not correct on that count? It's a subset of English swearing. I can't remember the last time I heard "piss" used as a curse in the States. Yeah, it doesn't sound like normal British speech, just like redneck doesn't sound like most of Americans. Posh is a dialect specific to the British isles.

 

[Raziaar]

Posh? What the **** is posh?

That sounds like YET ANOTHER British slang.

Come on dude, you're fooling nobody!

Also... "muggy" Sorry but only British people would use that word in an insult.

It's true, it's true.

Now... "****"(rhymes with runt). That's a word that is used by everybody, but I associate that mostly with the Irish.


American swearing doesn't use any weird words like "muggy". It's just the typical boring **** you, mother****er, cocksucker, bitch, asshole, ****.

 

[Stylo]

Posh is a dialect specific to the British isles.

LOLWAT. Not even going to contend with that daft statement.

More Modern Toss:

 

[<RJMC>]

posh?

 

[Raziaar]

LOLWAT. Not even going to contend with that daft statement.

More Modern Toss:

What the hell man? You keep posting British things and saying they're not uniquely british. Whatever this Modern Toss thing is... it's completely British.

 

[Remus]

Posh: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=posh

I think what Stylo is saying is that average every day people in the UK don't use those swear words, but "upper crust" people or snobs, do.

Thing is Stylo, that even here in Romania the "british/english" man stereotype is actually posh. It's not just the Americans.

 

[Maestro]

LOLWAT. Not even going to contend with that daft statement.

More Modern Toss:

...so you're not going to try and prove your point?

 

[kazsymonds]

**** me sideways with a rusty gate, this thing is English English.

I will just point out that English and British are not the same thing, in much the same way that Canadian and American are not the same thing.

If you were hearing Welsh or Scottish, you wouldn't be able to understand what they were saying.

Now **** off you shitflap munching spunk bubbles.

 

[Stylo]

...so you're not going to try and prove your point?

I could post a wall of text explaining why, as an English person, I don't find the specific words in this Periodic Table Of Swearing very English/British.

But then I realised that nobody is going to come to any mutual understanding and instead foam over their own argument. But for the record Posh is not a dialect, it's an adjective that can describe many things. I think the dialect you're referring to is 'Received Pronunciation' or as it is colloquially termed over here "The Queen's English".

Also pretty much what Remus said. I realise that it is more than America who stereotype us Brits as all really well spoken and dandy and stuff but the regional dialects over here are pretty diverse and often times English people can barely understand each other because of broad regional accents.

Now, away with you all, I'm off to ride my penny-farthing down to the old knickerbocker to purchase some monocle flavoured tea, what-what.

 

[Raziaar]

**** me sideways with a rusty gate, this thing is English English.

I will just point out that English and British are not the same thing, in much the same way that Canadian and American are not the same thing.

If you were hearing Welsh or Scottish, you wouldn't be able to understand what they were saying.

Now **** off you shitflap munching spunk bubbles.

Ohh, coming from us Americans English sure is British it sure is!

Top o' the morning to ya madame.

I could post a wall of text explaining why, as an English person, I don't find the specific words in this Periodic Table Of Swearing very English/British.

But then I realised that nobody is going to come to any mutual understanding and instead foam over their own argument. But for the record Posh is not a dialect, it's an adjective that can describe many things. I think the dialect you're referring to is 'Received Pronunciation' or as it is colloquially termed over here "The Queen's English".

Also pretty much what Remus said. I realise that it is more than America who stereotype us Brits as all really well spoken and dandy and stuff but the regional dialects over here are pretty diverse and often times English people can barely understand each other because of broad regional accents.

Now, away with you all, I'm off to ride my penny-farthing down to the old knickerbocker to purchase some monocle flavoured tea, what-what.

Oh, no... we're very well aware of your proper British speakers and then your more... well I don't know the word to put it... speakers. Plus we know about the chavs... but it's all British stuff to us! All of it! Not all the same, but all British nonetheless!

 

[kazsymonds]

Ohh, coming from us Americans English sure is British it sure is!

Top o' the morning to ya madame.

That acting was so bad I think you gave me cancer.

 

[Raziaar]

 

[Mogi67]

**** me sideways with a rusty gate, this thing is English English.

I will just point out that English and British are not the same thing, in much the same way that Canadian and American are not the same thing.

Forgive a yank his ignorance but what is the difference?

 

[kazsymonds]

Forgive a yank his ignorance but what is the difference?

The United Kingdom is a collection of 4 countries. England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

England is what you refer to as "British"
Scotland is where you get heroin and battered Mars bars
Wales shag their sheep
Ireland has drunks

The issue is a little complicated, and I can't really make an apt comparison with USA.

Think of it this way - I don't call a slow Alabama drawl an American accent.

Stylo's point was that not everybody in England speaks like the voice in the video. The point is that the accent in the video is instantly recognisable as an English accent, whether we all speak with it day to day or not.

It is a bit of a public schoolboy accent, however.

 

[Remus]

OK issue resolved.

However...

And I'm probably going to get flak for this but, IMO "Queen's English" > "real" street English. It just sounds so much better...

 

[kazsymonds]

OK issue resolved.

However...

And I'm probably going to get flak for this but, IMO "Queen's English" > "real" street English. It just sounds so much better...

You = Winner.

 

[Stylo]

OK issue resolved.

However...

And I'm probably going to get flak for this but, IMO "Queen's English" > "real" street English. It just sounds so much better...

Here's a fact I know that I can throw into the mix. "Queen's English" is further away from original early English as the pronunciation is closer to the current Southern English pronunciation of words. For example, words like 'Bath' and 'Grass' would be pronounced with an elongated 'ahh' vowel sound, so they would sound like Baarth.

However, Northern English tends to use harsher and shorter vowel sounds which is closer to the original old-style beginnings of the English language. So the 'a's in these words would be more like 'Axe' and 'Shack'.

So, IMO, f*ck the Queen and her silly way of talking! (Even though English as a language is a complex thing influenced by a tonne of different cultures and other languages anyhow)

 

[Remus]

So, IMO, f*ck the Queen and her silly way of talking!

Spoken like a true peasant! *runs*

 

[kazsymonds]

Here's a fact I know that I can throw into the mix. "Queen's English" is further away from original early English as the pronunciation is closer to the current Southern English pronunciation of words. For example, words like 'Bath' and 'Grass' would be pronounced with an elongated 'ahh' vowel sound, so they would sound like Baarth.

However, Northern English tends to use harsher and shorter vowel sounds which is closer to the original old-style beginnings of the English language. So the 'a's in these words would be more like 'Axe' and 'Shack'.

So, IMO, f*ck the Queen and her silly way of talking! (Even though English as a language is a complex thing influenced by a tonne of different cultures and other languages anyhow)

Agree about old English, but it depends how honest we want to be with ourselves.

To be honest, if you want to go that far, English is nothing more than a bastardisation of several languages, most notably, German (that is, the languages evolved from the same source).

It's very easy to get in to the whole "the youth of today have ruined the language", the fact is, we had modified it millenia ago for better or worse.

There is no real original English.

TL;DR (for Americans); Our language that you continue to ruin is only one that we took from someone else, and ourselves ruined.

 

[Stylo]

That's why I added the brackets at the end. Also, I am Northern English. Represent.

 

[Raziaar]

Think of it this way - I don't call a slow Alabama drawl an American accent.

Well, you'd technically be right if you did.

 

[Stylo]

It's a bit too non-specific for my liking. But saying "British" which I think was pointed out earlier is even worse. All of England's regional dialects and accents are completely different to Welsh and Scottish accents and dialects.