Personality changes

[Xevrex]

So that last helplife2.net thread I made about my feelings being gone were a result of being too tired, yeah. I got sleep. That ****ed me up again.

At the beginning of this school year I intimidated myself into being socially awkward. I had been so successful with my social interactions the previous year (I never was before 10th grade) that I ****ed up because I set such a high standard for myself and let the social anxiety overwhelm me.

When I lost sleep, I also became more comfortable socially, and I thought it was because I was adjusting to the people I was around and everything. I just didn't care anymore about what people thought about me and how I acted toward them, so I ended up being funnier and having all of the social success I pined for at the beginning of the year. I was still ****ed-up emotionally and got no happiness from this success, and it troubled me.

I stopped having to think about what I was going to say and how I was going to say it. The old "me" I always yearned for came back and I stopped needing to constantly adjust how I type/how I speak because I never had to think about that shit. I just didn't care.

Now that I do care, however, I think about it all again. And it screws me up. I feel like I'm becoming just as awkward and uncomfortable as I was before, and I feel like it's irreversible. The only way to regain my comfortability is to starve myself of sleep again and feel nothing; but then I wouldn't have fun. I'm in lose-lose situation here.

Two weeks ago I started feeling "better" from my depression/sleep deprivation. I went to a psychiatrist to consider medication if I didn't have time with my rough schedule to improve things naturally; I wanted the medication as sort of a natural "push" to help me regain control of things again. While in the office, I told this psychiatrist all that had led up to this, and her "conclusion" was that I had asperger's. Bull ****ing shit. My regular therapist and I later went through the DSM-IV and checked the symptoms; I showed none and the only thing that seemed to fit my condition was social anxiety. Mild social anxiety. But that damn psychiatrist, that faulty diagnosis ****ed with my head and I started to doubt my ability to interact socially, and it all went downhill from there. After leaving her office was really when all of the above (above this paragraph) started to change, the alleviation of sleep deprivation was only concurrent with this entire situation, but I'm sure it has some factor in it.

tl;dr I was depressed and comfortable socially, but had no fun. I go to psych, she misdiagnoses me with aspergers, I worry and start picking apart social interactions again because I care and I'm paranoid and anxious. I keep having fluctuations in my personality and I can't keep somewhat consistent for a day or two, and I'm more awkward than ever. Your thoughts, helplife2.net?

 

[CptStern]

areyousureitsnotaspergersbecausesometimesitmaylooklikeitsasperbergersbutitsactuallyatumor

 

[Xevrex]

areyousureitsnotaspergersbecausesometimesitmaylooklikeitsasperbergersbutitsactuallyatumor

yesimprettysureitsnotaspergersbecauseifitwastheniwouldbeflappingmyhandsandactingallchildishandnearautisticandshitandijustdontdothatbro

 

[CptStern]

actuallynottruepeoplewithaspergersareusuallyhighlyintelligentanddonotspazzoutohlookitspancakes

 

[Remus]

itsnotlupusbtw

 

[Higlac]

Collect call from: John hadababyitsagirl

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

anusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanusanus


anus

 

[CyberPitz]

Collect call from: John hadababyitsagirl

Oh man, I miss that commercial. Wasn't it Bob Wehadababyitsagirl, though?

 

[Krynn72]

I like Higlac's better.

 

[Xevrex]

actuallynottruepeoplewithaspergersareusuallyhighlyintelligentanddonotspazzoutohlookitspancakes

Well either way, I fit none of the diagnostic criteria of asperger's as listed in the DSM-IV. So that's ruled out.

 

[Tagaziel]

Dude, you're, like, 16. It's called "growing up". Shifts in personality would be something to worry about when you're 30, not ****ing 16. It's perfectly natural for a teenager to experience mood swings and personality changes. Shrinks will just pump you full of drugs and call it a day.

Of course, you can always cut your nuts off to stabilize your hormones. Might be too drastic, though.

 

[ktimekiller]

helplife 2 at its best

/metal headbang



P.S. Tagaziel is right, its perfectly normal, lets stop with the mood threads

 

[McGooTheWise]

16 is not the age to worry about social anxiety. Hormones will make you feel 5 different ways at once. It sucks, but you'll get over it. Just tuck it out, and don't let any doctor tell you need meds unless it's a serious condition, which this is not. Everyone's socially awkward. Then you interact with people and learn how to talk. That's why you're awkward, you don't know how to talk to people. Practice. If you have the courage, and think it's that important, start a conversation with someone you haven't spoken to before that you see every day. Granted, if that person happens to be an asshole, whether you know it now or later, then block them out. Just put yourself out there. The best way to learn how to do anything is to fail. How do I know that? I've failed at failing, that's how.

Next time you tell yourself you suck at something, just tell yourself you're going to get better at it. Cause, hell, you've already failed at it 54 other times, how many more times can you fail before you get it right? Don't make harsh assumptions on your personality. There's no way to know at your age weather it's a social disorder, unless you face away from someone when talking to them, or walk away mid-conversation, then you have a problem. But if you can have a conversation through a keyboard, you're fine. You just need to quit being a pussy. Just go do it. Whats the worst that could happen? Repeat this to yourself: "I don't give a shit/damn/goddamn/****/****ing shit damn goddamnit" If you use the last one you'll make yourself laugh, and you'll forget all about being awkward.

All from experience. Once you get into college all of the social stigma melts away, and you realize there are plenty of people out there who want to get to know you, and who are quite interesting themselves. There are plenty of teachers/parents/councilors/psyches/people in general standing in a line ready to shove a pill down your throat for every mistake you make. If you're bored in class because you have a shitty teacher that can't take 5 minutes of their life to figure out how to make their class more interesting, and you can't focus, it's not their fault. You have A.D.D., right? No, **** that. People are stupid creatures, and they want to do anything they can to you to make their stupidity, or incompetence less apparent. Don't buy it. That's all I can say... I hope I helped you, dude. You're too young to be this ****ed up, which means it's all in your head. Your mind is attacking itself, and it always will. You'll build up a defense, though. Hang in there.

 

[Danimal]

Your testicles dropped not long ago, they're still in a bit of shock from it. You'll be fine. :3

 

[thefiznut]

your biggest mistake is seeking help from a psychiatrist.
they are medical doctors, and a lot of them are not thoroughly trained in therapies.
most dont do therapy because they get paid more to push pills on people.
i went to many psychiatrists in my area and all of them "diagnosed" me with SAD
and told me they thought i had a "little bit" of depression mixed in, whatever the **** that's supposed to mean.

their solution?
they wanted me to go to my family doctor
and get him to give me benzodiazepines (xanax, klonopin).
then they told me to come back to them for further assistance..
i told them i would much prefer therapy, not drugs, and none of them would see me to do that,
they told me therapy is too time consuming for their busy schedules.
doing what? listening to people tell them their problem for 15 minutes then calling their family doctor to tell them you're stopping by to get pills?
knowing that the pill wouldn't solve my severe social anxiety, i told them to **** off
and called a psychologist.

her suggestion? cognitive behavioral therapy and ABSOLUTELY NOT drugs.
and it works very well, i'm making good progress thus far even though i'm barely starting yet.
benzos are extremely dangerous if you have social anxiety,
and they do nothing to solve the problem itself.
my psychologist has her PhD in neuropsychology,
she is an avid scientist, spent years conducting research, and now does clinical work.
and approaches her clients disorders with hard science in mind.
i feel extremely thankful to have found her and would never go near a psychiatrist again.

long story short, **** psychiatry.. they're paid off to push prescriptions on people,
and paid more to ignore people's pleas for therapy.
there's probably a few rock solid psychiatrists out there,
.. but good luck finding one that won't take the easy way out.

oh and for you lot who keep suggesting that he "get over it"
or tell him to man up and face his fears, you need to stop.

social anxiety disorder is real, and he may very well be extremely disabled by his irrational fears and beliefs.
i'm sorry, but even if he is 16, he is:
- depressed on a regular basis
- has irrational beliefs about himself and his sense of self
- is experiencing excessive anxiety in the presence of others
- following the above, likely is also experiencing overwhelming physiological reactions to his anxious mental state
this can be extremely tormenting (it is for me always) and believe it or not people some folks just can't "man up" when their hypothalamus is going NUTS
- is being withheld from his social goals (probably others) because of his anxiety


to reiterate:
- it is NORMAL for ALL people to experience varying levels of anxiety all of the time when talking to other people
- it is NOT NORMAL to feel like you have lost control of your life because of it

Xevrex, ignore these clowns and see a proper psychologist who knows what they're doing.
it is true that you must eventually face the overwhelming fear, but your psychologist will
help you develop a hierarchy of anxiety provoking activities and guide you on your way to the top. (the behavioral part of cognitive behavioral therapy)
by exposing yourself slowly from the easiest on up, your brain will eventually stop producing anxiety when it shouldn't.
then they will, hopefully, develop a plan to help you get rid of your irrational beliefs (the cognitive part of cognitive behavior therapy).

like a flowing river, the brain can really carve out some deep, deep pathways chock full of negative feelings, beliefs, emotions, etc..
once they flow out they can really consume a person.. they become their entire reality.
but thankfully i learned its possible to drop a massive cognitive rock into said river, keeping it from spreading and even flowing at all.

thats how i feel about my psychologist.. social anxiety disorder and depression have almost entirely destroyed my life.
i'm living at home again, have zero friends, and really don't have much but me and my weird mind..
now i feel pretty good about myself again, and she has planted a seed in my brain somehow thats causing me to lose my anxieties more and more everyday. i haven't dipped into a depressive state except for a couple blips in quite a while..

you owe it to yourself to ignore drug treatment and try CBT first. i can not thank my psychologist enough for what she has done for me.

good luck!

sorry for all the writing