Poll- Melee weapons

If you were surrounded by flesh-eating zombies, which blunt melee weapon is best?

  • Aluminum baseball bat

    Votes: 24 21.6%
  • Golf club

    Votes: 12 10.8%
  • 2x4

    Votes: 1 0.9%
  • Brass knuckles

    Votes: 5 4.5%
  • Long metal pole

    Votes: 24 21.6%
  • Frying pan

    Votes: 4 3.6%
  • Nunchucks

    Votes: 5 4.5%
  • Crowbar

    Votes: 24 21.6%
  • Something else?

    Votes: 12 10.8%

  • Total voters
    111
I would want a baseball bat because you can get a really good swing with those. With a long metal pole, you would be able to poke from a safe distance, but it would be too long and clumsy to get a really hard swing in.
 
Moto-x_Pat said:
I would want a baseball bat because you can get a really good swing with those. With a long metal pole, you would be able to poke from a safe distance, but it would be too long and clumsy to get a really hard swing in.

I beg to differ. If the pole were like 6 feet I could get a swing with plenty of force behind it.
 
Crowbars really arent as good at bashing things as you might hope...Take wood for instance, get a nice piece of 2x4 and it takes ages. As for zombies, im sure it would hurt them and you would likely get it stuck.


I voted long metal pole, but it depends on what metal and how long. So i might go for the baseball bat.
 
Nailgun. Nothing can beat the nailgun in terms of zombie-killing, barring any sort of flame-based weaponry (i.e. a can of gas and a strike-anywhere match).

Just imagine, pushing a nailgun into some random zombie's face, and firing a sharp metal projectile through it's face... :E
 
Would be cool, but its gotta be blunt.

Do you guys like these polls? I could post one every few days, I've got a billion ideas. Or would that be bad and annoying?
 
What's better for killing a zombie then a good old trusty mace?
 
i voted long metal bar, but i'll change it. i'd take an xbox.
 
A Whip!

Interesting note: the reason a bull whip “cracks” is that during the swing, the tip actually breaks the sound barrier for a split second as it is snapped back, producing a miniature sonic boom.
 
Dedalus said:
i voted long metal bar, but i'll change it. i'd take an xbox.

They are bullet proof depending on what angle you shoot em at :).
 
Well, this is what I think:

-Aluminum baseball bat is most practical.
-Golf club would be my next choice, but what if it gets stuck in one?
-2x4 would break
-Can't fight zombies with your fists!
-Long metal poll is nice, but not so cool when fighting zombies. Only when fighting tons of Agent Smiths.
-Frying pan...?
-Nunchucks would certainly be the coolest. Who cares about getting eaten?
-Crowbar would get stuck, besides its too short.

With that, I think I've decided to make a poll every week, because I'm bored. Yay for boredom.
 
I notice you don't have a medieval mace of zombie slaying +3 on the list? Why not? I have one of those stored away for JUST THIS OCCASION! ARGH!

Oh well, I chose a long metal pole. I wan't something that wron'g break on me after a few hundred swings, like a baseball bat and a golfclub might. heh heh. It also needs to be an item that packs alot of punch with the swing, which a golf club might not be able to accomplish as well as a metal pole :-P
 
Golf Clubs are not good for slaying zombies. If angry golfers and break them in half over there legs, its not gunna do anything to zombie.
 
Personally, a sledge hammer is my weapon of choice.

The reason: Zombie at arm reach, Blunt weapon= It will hurt more

I also like the feel of a wooden grip as well
 
OoGoff said:
A Whip!

Interesting note: the reason a bull whip “cracks” is that during the swing, the tip actually breaks the sound barrier for a split second as it is snapped back, producing a miniature sonic boom.

Um, wtf. The sound is when the bull whip cracks agaisnt itself heh. A sonic boom would like blow you away.
 
Melee weapon + zombie invasion = your demise. Unless there were like 2 or 3 around, I would never use a melee weapon, I would just run. Zombies arent smart, or fast, but in large numbers, they could easily take down a single person with only a melee weapon. I would only battle with a long range weapon.
 
if i had a long range weapon id probally shoot myself.. what am i gonna do, run away and start living underground, or open up a shop selling brains, then become very popular with the zombies as i have the lowest prices?? i dont think so!!! i would charge at least one quid higher than they could afford!! ha!!
 
SnowBall said:
Melee weapon + zombie invasion = your demise. Unless there were like 2 or 3 around, I would never use a melee weapon, I would just run. Zombies arent smart, or fast, but in large numbers, they could easily take down a single person with only a melee weapon. I would only battle with a long range weapon.

Hence the "surrounded." You guys should read more! Heh, thats okay, I'm just kidding.

If you ran away when surrounded by zombies, they would just catch you. They may be slow, but they are also strong (I mean, what would be the threat if they couldn't catch you) and they bite and swat really hard. No running, only beating. :)
 
pat_thetic said:
Um, wtf. The sound is when the bull whip cracks agaisnt itself heh. A sonic boom would like blow you away.

Actually, it wouldn't blow you away. The reason sonic booms usually blow people away is because there is a lot of power needed to make something exceed the speed of light, and a lot of power = a lot of noise. If noise overlaps itself, the power also gets doubled, hence the "getting blown away."

However, I am fairly sure that a whip making a sonic boom is just an urban legend. The reason it makes the "crack" is because it is streching out on itself, and is usually made of leather. (Ever "crack" a leather belt?)
 
The Definitive List of the Top Ten Best Melee Weapons!

10. Huge frozen fish.
9. Good friend who you are angry with.
8. Sock baby Jesus.
7. Panzer Tank (If you happen to be very strong)
6. Broken beer bottle.
5. Poop on a stick.
4. Huge spinning propeller (ala Indiana Jones)
3. Dead Biozeminades
2. An enveolope with sum money in it
1. #1 has got to be a f*ckin' crowbar.
 
Its got to be the golf club, I cant think of anything with as good a weight on the end, perfect for swinging and is a fair distance. Crowbars are too close up and dangerous. The baseball bat is too weak, especially an alluminium one, i'd choose wood given the choice, its heavier.
 
Frying pan. Because if you do win, you win 1000 times because you won. With a frying pan.
 
wtf, old thread....
A metal pole would be the best in that list, about 3ft long, inch thick or so.
 
Speed hack.

edit: zomg 50th posts

smiley spam time !!!
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Frying pan and/or Biozeminades. Preferably a combination.

By the way, Recoil, Chuck Norris could kick your ass.

-Angry Lawyer
 
Angry Lawyer said:
Frying pan and/or Biozeminades. Preferably a combination.

By the way, Recoil, Chuck Norris could kick your ass.

-Angry Lawyer
lol, that was random.

Chuck norris is about as hard as my first turd.
 
Did you crap out a mountain? Because Norris INVENTED HIS OWN DAMN FIGHTING STYLE.


-Angry Lawyer
 
Angry Lawyer said:
Did you crap out a mountain? Because Norris INVENTED HIS OWN DAMN FIGHTING STYLE.


-Angry Lawyer
So did i, as should any martial artist who takes themselves seriously.
 
But he has BLACK BELTS COMING OUT OF HIS ASS!

Chuck's ASS KICKING SITE said:
When you think of Chuck Norris, often what comes to mind is one of two things: action movie star (recalling Mr. Norris' numerous feature films), or television star, because of his long-running CBS television series, "Walker, Texas Ranger".

What you may not think of is that prior to his on-screen career, Mr. Norris was a martial arts star who won many championships. One of his many victories is his being a six-time undefeated World Professional Middleweight Karate Champion. Mr. Norris was also a renowned teacher in the martial arts. Some of his many students included Steve McQueen, Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley and Donnie & Marie Osmond.

Mr. Norris was the first person ever voted into the Black Belt Hall of Fame. From 1965 through 1980, he won many state, national, and international championships. Mr. Norris received the Competitor of the Year award in 1968 and was the first man ever to win the World Professional Karate Championship. In 1975, Mr. Norris received the Instructor of the Year award, and in 1977, the Competitor of the Year.

Mr. Norris is also founder of the United Fighting Arts Federation with more than 2,300 Chun Kuk Do Black Belts all over the world.

In 1997, Mr. Norris reached another milestone in his life: he was the first man ever in the western hemisphere to be awarded an 8th degree Black Belt Grand Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do martial arts system. This was a first in 4,500 years of tradition.

Mr. Norris' intense drive and determination extended beyond his martial arts and acting career. He was an offshore powerboat racer with speeds of 140 miles per hour. In 1991, Mr. Norris and his team, with sponsor "Popeye's Chicken", won the World Off Shore Powerboat Championships. Mr. Norris went on to set a new world record by racing a 38 foot Scarab boat 605 miles across the Great Lakes, from Chicago to Detroit, in 12 hours and 8 minutes.

You can't beat that!

-Angry Lawyer
 
Can you ban exploit with the power of your mind alone?!

Also, NM OAR
 
So he not only has Black belts coming out of his ass, but the power of the almighty lord and saviour Jesus Christ too! I think you just got owned Short Recoil baby ;)
 
oldagerocker said:
Its got to be the golf club, I cant think of anything with as good a weight on the end, perfect for swinging and is a fair distance. Crowbars are too close up and dangerous. The baseball bat is too weak, especially an alluminium one, i'd choose wood given the choice, its heavier.
Hahahaha I made this thread when I was still theagentsmith!
 
Erestheux said:
Hahahaha I made this thread when I was still theagentsmith!
I didnt notice the date when i posted... somone linked to it on irc. Still, this thread reminds me of the good ol' days :)
 
I linked it in **SUPER SECRET FORUMS** you dope. ;)
 
Wow. I just quick replied without seeing what other people posted, and then I saw Farrow, Dedalus, and Snowball and realized how old this thread is. lol

Those were good old times. *nostalgia*
 
Bah... no katana?

Anyway, I voted for an aluminum baseball bat. It's aluminum, so it's lightweight. It's a baseball bat, so there's more surface area than a golf club which means that it's gonna be hard to miss your target when you are swinging as hard as you can. While a golf club would be useful for a couple of hits, I doubt that the shaft of the golf club will last very long if put to extensive use against zombies. The ohter 'best' choice would be the crowbar. It's hard hitting and the hook of the crowbar can do some serious damage. However, the hook end of the crobar can also be a risk because what would happen if the hook got caught on the skull of a zombie and you had to take time to unhook it while a horde of zombies were coming at you?


Now obviously, my first choice would be a katana because of it's light weight and fast swinging speed, the razor edge of a katana will easily take of the heads and limbs of a zombie. The katana would be second only to a .22 rimfire rifle for obvious reasons.
 
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