Retaliation

[Shodan]

Some of you may know that my bike was recently stolen by a chav, I have my bike back now, but I was inspired by Hectic Glenn to think of a suitable way to retaliate/prank the bike theiving chav.

I won't be around to deal with anything that he might do afterwards as I am leaving the area.

Mabye some of you guys could help me think of a good way to get my own back?

I just need something, that will be very funny and that will really piss him off...

 

[Insano]

You could show him the evil link from MarcoPollo? I'll PM it to you if you want, because I'm not posting it in public

 

[Pulse]

I would take the most subtle option possible, and fire bomb his house to the ground while slaying him and his mates with a garden rake.

 

[RakuraiTenjin]

Mail/email/send/show him him pain #5 GIF

 

[Dan]

first thing first, post his name and email here so we can spam him to death. Then fill his locks with superglue and pour salt over the lawn if he's in a house with a lawn. Then cut his phone line, and let the air out of his car tires.

 

[SimonomiS]

I would take the most subtle option possible, and fire bomb his house to the ground while slaying him and his mates with a garden rake.

Seconded. Or kill him with your ninja skills. It depends how serious you want to be, I mean if you seriously wanna make him angry, go with Dan's suggestions.

Disclaimer: I am not to be held responsible in any way for anything you may or may not do that could technically be illegal or not.

 

[Harryz]

Just curious, how did you get your bike back?

 

[Angry Lawyer]

Salt his garden. It's the best way.

-Angry Lawyer

 

[Shodan]

Just curious, how did you get your bike back?

I snuck in there at night and stole it back, those were some ninja skills alright.

 

[Glirk Dient]

Dig a huge hole in his front yard in the middle of the night and fill it wil cement.

That or cover his front door in cement so it is cemented shut. Feel free to cement windows and other doors to cement him into his house.

I also found this on the net.

you know those signs that people put on thier cars that say for sale then give a price and a phone number, well i saw one on a really crappy beaten up truck, and luckily it was on the outside of the truck taped to the back window, so i took this sign (it was just a peice of paper btw) off of the window, went and found the nicest car i could find and taped the sign to the back window of it. and since the price was really cheap you know the guy got lots of calls asking to buy his car.

So take his number and put it everywhere you can so he gets spammed with phone calls.

 

[Shodan]

I could put an advert in the paper, saying that he will accept ANY bicycle, and will pay £50 for each.

But he won't know that...

 

[Dan]

and leave a note about your bicycle. I think the best would be to put his name and personal information here and let us put a lot of crap about him that'll come up on google. Some of that stuff takes a long time to get rid of. I am the only Dan Rudm|n in the world and for a few years the top of that list was my crappy first attempt at making a CS map, definitely not cool. Now I don't think there's anything too geeky or embaressing any more.

 

[Shodan]

The thing is, he lives illegally in a caravan, so he doesn't have an address as such, he gets neighbors to recieve packages for him.

But he has nothing official, hes a traveller, I need mostly physical stuff I can do to him.

Not sure on an email address, I'll try to find it.

 

[jverne]

first thing first, post his name and email here so we can spam him to death. Then fill his locks with superglue and pour salt over the lawn if he's in a house with a lawn. Then cut his phone line, and let the air out of his car tires.

are you stupid or something?!

does he even have an PC? does he even have a house with doors? and yeah that salt thing is overkill! what phone...CAR??? wtf

he probably lives in an small apartament with two other chav fammilies!!


my recommandation?! spil oli everywhere possible around his place, make a ballon like folded piece of paper, fill it with glue and fine pieces of rotten meat and throw it in his face when hes not looking. i like that cement idea tough! if they actully do have a car (not likely) buy some cheap acid (sulfid acid 40%) and pour it on the whole car! if you really don't have time for this throw one of these hehe in his face (any kind will do but the best are the more hollow because they have less air ressistance thus better accurancy and speed)! :naughty: :smoking:

 

[Jimmeh]

The classic bag of dog shit on doorstep on fire is in order. Or, get his caravan towed way

Damn pikeys.

 

[jverne]

The classic bag of dog shit on doorstep on fire is in order. Or, get his caravan towed way

Damn pikeys.

nah!! better put some sharp pointy nails in and set it on fire!

 

[Fishlore]

Does he have a pet? Leaving out a bowl of anti freeze usually does the trick. Animals love that stuff and it's surprisingly fatal. I'm not sure what a caravan is, but if he needs to plug in to get power you could wedge a bunch of toothpicks in the holes and break them off so he can't get power.

If he lives anywhere illegally just phone in an annonomous tip to the police from a pay phone. Maybe you could plant some drugs in or near his place and phone that in. Get a few friends and try to turn over his caravan by pushing it at the same time in rythm. Super glue around the cracks of the doors. Find something that smells truely offensive and put it somewhere nearby.

I guess you could always just take a bat to his head too.

 

[jverne]

here's a really good thing you could do!

seal every exit (door, windows) and throw in a box of smelly bombs!!! if you don't have the money for the bombs a bag of a weeks colected crap and urine will be also good!

 

[Shodan]

I could cut of the phone connection they had put in.

Someone tell me how to reroute power with the transformer so he gets no electricity.

I don't want to kill him (no cinderblocks) the funniest/best method of payback wins, (may later become a video of said act.)

 

[Dan]

if it's a mobile home I'd go with pushing it over, or doing something to reverse his sewage

 

[mindless_moder]

gather up some urine .. or a solution of fertilizer and write some stuff on his lawn with it .
argh hes in a mobil home.
well then im out.

 

[short recoil]

Buy a tanto, slit his throat.
You'll find that doing anything to "harass" someone is illeagal, no matter what.

 

[Shodan]

Buy a tanto, slit his throat.
You'll find that doing anything to "harass" someone is illeagal, no matter what.

I don't think he's going to any authorities anytime soon.

 

[short recoil]

I would personally set traps, that is my way.
It depends how much revenge you want.

A bucket of urine falling on his head when he opens his caravan door might be enough for you, or you could dig a massive pit fall, disguised as normal ground in front of the door during the night with punji sticks (sharpened wood stakes) covered in cow manure (i'm getting carried away again).

 

[Shodan]

NO MURDERS!

I want to stand there and watch him embarass himself, infront of friends.

I'm all up for theft, destruction of property etc, the more spiteful the better.

How could I **** around with the axles on the caravan, so when he moves, it falls to bits?

 

[Foxtrot]

NO MURDERS!

I want to stand there and watch him embarass himself, infront of friends.

I'm all up for theft, destruction of property etc, the more spiteful the better.

How could I **** around with the axles on the caravan, so when he moves, it falls to bits?

Hack saw.

 

[short recoil]

Hack saw.

NO! .........you'd end up crushing your self or very least your arm under the caravan, i can just see what would happen.

 

[Jimmeh]

A hand grenade underneath while he's out. That outta put it out of action.


If you have access to explosives that is. Imagine his face - "Hey guys, wanna come back to my place?" They show up and see his home in ruins.

 

[Foxtrot]

NO! .........you'd end up crushing your self or very least your arm under the caravan, i can just see what would happen.

Use some cynder blocks or something to hold it up.

 

[short recoil]

Use some cynder blocks or something to hold it up.

That's not the easiest method.

How could I **** around with the axles on the caravan, so when he moves, it falls to bits?

The best bet would be to loosen all of the wheel nuts if you think he is going to move the caravan at all, being a chav he wouldn't check them.
However this would also be extremely dangerous to others, not good for people on a motorway.

You must always think of the consequences for actions at least several steps ahead.

 

[RakuraiTenjin]

slash his tires?

 

[Ennui]

NO! .........you'd end up crushing your self or very least your arm under the caravan, i can just see what would happen.

and you'd have to run there butt naked, all the way while fighting off super leet ninjas. then you'd lift it up and throw it a hundred yards with your bare hands while simultaneously giving him CPR with your hand. Since your arms are tied behind your back, you actually have to use your toes.

No sweat though - you do it every day.

 

[Mechagodzilla]

Spraypaint THIEF on the side of his 'house' in a good bright red or orange.
It's nonviolent, cost effective and a lesson in shame.

Bonus points for adding any extra prank to the mix.

 

[<RJMC>]

so the chavs are some tipe of criminals?

 

[Lex Luthor]

Don't do anything. Wrath is a cardinal sin!

 

[evil^milk]

yeah i'd probably let it go too. But for fun, leave marbles on his front step so when he comes out he'll slip.

 

[StardogChampion]

I snuck in there at night and stole it back, those were some ninja skills alright.

You know you could've phoned the police and had him arrested, right?

Anyway, I'd let all the air out of his tires. Take off the caps and press the little thingy in. Slashing the tires would get you in more trouble if you got caught.

You could also take a key and draw some nice pictures all over his car.

 

[Teta_Bonita]

so he lives in a mobile home, eh? how far is it from the street? If you could somehow get his house out into the middle of the street and slit the tires, he could end up in some very interesting trouble with the police.
Anyway, here's a fat list of pranks I found:
http://www.student.uit.no/~paalde/revenge/Scripts/fixer/pranks01.html
Change the "01" at the end to another number to get a different page. It goes up to 14.

My personal fav's:
- Plant marijuana in your enemy's garden . Go to nearest pay-phone, and dutifully report him. Make sure you remain anonymous.
- Write your enemy's phone number on every men's room wall you see.
-Steal your victim's dog/cat. Remove any identifying tags. Soak with a
firehose and throw several shovelfuls of sloppy, runny mud at the
animal. Let it dry. Take the animal to the SPCA and tell them you
found it out in the middle of nowhere, apparently abandoned. I
personally couldn't do this (I like pets...), but starving the animal
for a while beforehand, until it is showing symptoms of malnutrition,
would definitely make it more convincing.

This could have several outcomes: (1) The extremely stupid owners never
think to call the SPCA, and the animal stays for a few months and is
eventually gassed. (2) The owners go to the SPCA to pick up Rover, and
are severely chewed out for abandoning their pet. (3) The animal gets
sick or injured, the SPCA has to have a vet treat it, and the owners
have to pay for that on top of the $35 to recover the animal. In all
cases your victim suffers stress and worry.
-In another phile by another sadist, it was suggested that you should
slash the bottoms of any garbage bags you may find on the curb of a given
street. Well, if the bags are sitting on concrete or pavement, then you can do
a few other nifty things too. Like Epoxy the bags to the ground. This has the
effect of the bags getting ripped to shit as soon as someone tries to pick the
bag up with any force (which the average Joe Garbageman will do). Also, you
could Krazy Glue a whole bunch of garbage bags together, so when one is picked
up, all the others (try to) follow!
Another potentially hilarious idea is to include a few bags of your own with
your victim's garbage. I am sure that you can think of some suitably
embarrassing items to have fall out of a slashed garbage bag...

 

[Ames]

Get a whole bunch of people and walk up to his house. Funny as hell.

 

[StardogChampion]

-In another phile by another sadist, it was suggested that you should
slash the bottoms of any garbage bags you may find on the curb of a given
street. Well, if the bags are sitting on concrete or pavement, then you can do
a few other nifty things too. Like Epoxy the bags to the ground. This has the
effect of the bags getting ripped to shit as soon as someone tries to pick the
bag up with any force (which the average Joe Garbageman will do). Also, you
could Krazy Glue a whole bunch of garbage bags together, so when one is picked
up, all the others (try to) follow!
Another potentially hilarious idea is to include a few bags of your own with
your victim's garbage. I am sure that you can think of some suitably
embarrassing items to have fall out of a slashed garbage bag...

But we are civilized in the UK, we get given wheelie bins (link) to hold our garbage bags.

That would be funny though.