Return of the Rap Battle

[CrazyHarij]

burrr

Predictable like a clock, this shit is getting funny
That's right, I don't stop, I'm the duracell bunny
Right on the top, got all them hoes calling me hunny
When you drop, I'll still be here making things sunny

They call you Darkside, cause you'll always be in my shadow
I was chilling here long before you turned up in my meadow.
Like M.I.M.S said, "I'm hot 'cause I'm fly"
Eyes glow red? Man, don't try to battle when you're high.

I'll even quote your words in a fun lil' verse
"whoopdeefuckingdoo", oh my, did I hear a curse?
Your shit only gets better when you put it in reverse
It's physically impossible to make your rhyming worse.

And you keep on calling me son, like you hold some grudge at me
I'm not your kid man, and you sure as hell ain't my daddy.
You all alone? Cause you seem desperate for company
You sure don't get none, that why you try so hard to rip on me?

You can only tell us bullshit, and I ain't getting mad
How can I be jealous of the shit you never had?
You're completely in the fog, you're battling a mystery
Wribbit wribbit like a frog, while i'm laughin' hysterically.

This game is mine, and the game master's naturally elusive,
Callin' yourself divine, you're catastrophically reclusive.
Like Calvin Klein, my shit is all-exclusive
Bitch, you whine, I might as well call you Susie.

You're right though man, you sure as hell got no soul,
not an ounce of hip-hop, a bande apart from the whole.
I'm hotter than the sun, while your heart is frigid and cold
Tell me, how does it feel to be a rolling stone?

You say you on the rap throne, but it's clear you got no street
No wonder what I spit's giving you serious cold feet.
You just repeat. Are you a rapper or a beat?
Here's a bar for you, you reek of the bullshit you eat.

I enjoy your technique, don't need no reprimands
Connect a bunch of words in a way no one understands
What's that Lassie? Faggot likes to dance?
I heard this dog and you just had a sweet romance.

We're rising higher and higher, and your mind's a closed parachute
You know this is a massacre, don't call this a dispute
I'm preaching to the choir, but the choir is going mute
Keep on wheezing choirboy, more ammo for me to shoot.

 

[Sheepo]

This thread is a mere bump
On the lump
Of my rump
An anthill at the top of junkyard
Ratata at the top of my deck of Pokemon cards
Don't try too hard
You might hurt yourself
Forming a rebuttal
I keep spares on my shelf
They are hot, yet subtle

 

[Darkside55]

Why did you bump this? I didn't want to read what Harij had to say
I was away for a week, left this thread to decay
I've grown bored of this thread, just like the entire forum today
nothing in this thread to keep my interest; give me one good reason why I should stay?

Yo I'm not even trying right now I'll admit it
I'm just rhyming words with the right syllables at the ending to fit it
The beat's not in my heart 'cause nobody else can hit it
it's like playing a game by yourself; asking, "Why don't I just quit it?"

Don't bump this no more, it's dead, leave it to its tomb
Also Ratata's a loser; I choose you, Houndoom

 

[Dog--]

This here's a jam for all the fellas.
Try to do what those ladies tell us.
Get shot down cause your over-zealous.
Play hard to get, females get jealous.

I am sorry for the tune I just said,
It's been forever stuck in my head.
You gotta admit, it's pretty a pretty sweet tune,
-On a side note, it's stuffy in this room.

I don't rap often, as you can plainly see,
My rap skills are nil, obviously.
Atleast I tried, rather than just read,
Now if you're gonna dis me, I'll punch you in the head.

Peace.

 

[Sheepo]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Hey everybody look at darkseid, he's done it
Achieved the pure, ultimate example of redundant
A thousand words paint a picture of repetition
You best be submittin' to my rhymin' coalition
Drop while you can
Whinin' like an old man
Gotta change yo' bed pan
Please give it a rest
You tried your very best
It pains me inside
Breaks my heart wide
To see you keep tryin'
Baby I ain't lyin
Please just quite rhymin'
You're gonna make us start cryin'

 

[kineaesth]

I've got some
Flows so cold it was like they kept on ice,
The sheer brutal diphthongs of my verse make you redefine the word nice
(Ya'll bitches)
-- now so old, you's infested with lice
I blow so many holes in your rhymes ya'll be a hotel for mice.

I'm the illest rhyming kid since Ea-zy-E,(uh)
Them bitches wanna copy? They be copyin' me.(yeah)
My flow is supersonic it be rattlin' ca-ges (uh-uh)
The rhymes I'm spitting out puttin' you all in ra-ges. (woo)

I fit
So many syllables in a motherfuckin' bar, yo
You'd be safer staying in the motherfuckin car, yo
This polysyllabic shit is getting so ri-di-cu-lous
You bitches better be in blue style or your page gone-be-looking-hid-e-ous

It'll stretch you out, like some skanky ass chewing gum
Just like I'll be stretching out yo' skanky ass step-mom
If you bitches just got offended then don't hesitate to bring it,
My e-reputation's so hard you bitches won't hardly ding it.

I'm gonna wind up my rhymes, leaving you mah-fuckers in tatters
You'll be looking for new jobs like some out of work actors
And if you ever wake at night sweating an' screaming,
Remember this weren't no dream - KA just left ya'll bleeding.

(Next time I won't go easy on these motherfuckers. Bitches ain't shit. Sheeit.)

 

[Jintor]

Why did you bump this? I didn't want to read what Harij had to say
I was away for a week, left this thread to decay
I've grown bored of this thread, just like the entire forum today
nothing in this thread to keep my interest; give me one good reason why I should stay?

Yo I'm not even trying right now I'll admit it
I'm just rhyming words with the right syllables at the ending to fit it
The beat's not in my heart 'cause nobody else can hit it
it's like playing a game by yourself; asking, "Why don't I just quit it?"

Don't bump this no more, it's dead, leave it to its tomb
Also Ratata's a faget; I choose you, Houndoom

You know it sounds to me like Dark Side Darkseid's givin' up
Can't take heat from Dog and Sheepo so he's dropped the cup
Bored he says, the best he says but a challenge? Go home, pup
Smells of lies and bullshit where before he'd just say "'sup?"

He's gettin' old, his rhymes untold, his voice is blackin' out
Soon he'll bed in a tomb, half-dead as the new guys mill about
Can't lift that beat to sweep their feet away in a newbie rout
Instead he'll lie, a corpse half-dry, his face fixed in a pout

Cos this thread's supposedly gone, yo!
T'was old before Darkseid was born, yo!
Thread was here with every morn, yo!
Doesn't mean you can't throw up the horn, yo!

Yeah this rap thread is ancient, ressurected old flame
idle for a whole damn week and then revived by some dame,
but you know what, Lord Darkseid? Givin' up is just lame
Put your money in your mouth and just play the damn game.

 

[CrazyHarij]

Why did you bump this? I didn't want to read what Harij had to say
I was away for a week, left this thread to decay
I've grown bored of this thread, just like the entire forum today
nothing in this thread to keep my interest; give me one good reason why I should stay?

Yo I'm not even trying right now I'll admit it
I'm just rhyming words with the right syllables at the ending to fit it
The beat's not in my heart 'cause nobody else can hit it
it's like playing a game by yourself; asking, "Why don't I just quit it?"

Don't bump this no more, it's dead, leave it to its tomb
Also Ratata's a faget; I choose you, Houndoom

Your rhymes are flexed man, thanks for the battle
It's clear you text better than all of this cattle
You got my respect, keep my best wishes
But In retrospect I left you to sleep with the fishes

Just joking man, cheers.

Cos this thread's supposedly gone, yo!
T'was old before Darkseid was born, yo!
Thread was here with every morn, yo!
Doesn't mean you can't throw up the horn, yo!

You lyrically depend on a rhyme like yo,
Try to say hey, and no one says ho!
The crowd ain't listenin' cause you ain't runnin' the show
I ain't checkin' in, you already tryin' to go?

This is rap land, you ain't a cat, damn!
You'll just get eaten like cookies by a fat man
I'll just attack and - call your bluff crap hand
I'm on you like VAC2 just got your damn hack banned

And what's with the resurrection? This is worse than Bush's re-election
You ain't a surgeon yet you trying for a vivisection
You'll just make yourself bleed, "big-boned" girl trying to stealth feed
You ain't foolin' no one, I can see you're in serious wealth need

But this ain't a charity, your ass a disparity
I'll bring you some clarity with a K.O fatality
I'm like a kid on ritalin, I'm quicker than you've ever been
You're easy, like someone slipped drugs in your gin

So come on jintor, got any more in store?
You newer to this game than if you were a mint whore
I ain't trying to mentor, you don't know what I'm in for
Just shut up man, or everybody'll put you on ignore

 

[Darkside55]

Alright this is the truth, check it out:


I really did read Harij's rhymes on 02-02, and I was gonna show him what I was about
but all my friends came over and dragged me out the house
and they kept me over there for like a whole damn week
and any time I could get to a computer I was already falling asleep
so I wanted to rap battle because, honestly, this dude is good
mad respect to my man, his flows are straight out the Nordic hood
but the thread went down for so long I figured it was over and done
so long, and farewell, and we had a lot of fun

But look what happens when Darkside says he's about to stop!
I go to sleep and wake up and this thread's sitting at the top
and all of a sudden people are posting and bringing some heat
when in previous days it was only me and Harij
and everyone else was just an annoyance; some skin-bitin' fleas
but yo they bumped this thread above China and Miley
gotta give it to 'em, they can't be exterminated that easily

And now everybody's saying Darkside's running scurred
like overnight some kinda mindwipe must've occurred
'cause it seems like everybody forgot or nobody's heard
that Darkside is still a tyrant with the lyrical word
so if you want to battle I'll still be here thinning the herd
and it's absurd
if you think that I'd be throwing the towel in
because of Sheepo, Dog, Kinetic and Jin
so get ready, all of you, to take it on the chin
I'll hand out four slaps and do it all with a grin

 

[G(ordon)-man]

homies rappin', dont know what will happen
gordonman will come and crack ya pampers
hide your asses under your bitches
he will find your head and make it itch