Self-Esteem and Confidence

poo poo head

poo poo head

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Self-Esteem and confidence is something that i have learned to be important. The problem is...i have little to almost no self-esteem, seriously, which leads to no confidence in myself. I can never conceive myself as anything good, or feel i can do anything right, even when i do something right or good, i feel as if i didn't. Lately, i have been doing my damn best to change that, but it so hard to change the perception of myself after so many years of being seen as...well, nothing. Self-hatred is a scar that runs deep down, and my confidence is puny.

Anyway, as i stated, i'm trying my best to improve it, so i can move on and gain more confidence in myself, and to view myself in a more positive way. Are there any tips that HL2.net can throw this way. I'm trying to do as much as i can here, you guys are probably more helpful than my own family.

Thanks :dork:
 
Hey, yeah ok you sound quite emo... but you dont embrace it, you want to change... I think anyone would help you on this hey, as for my part, all I would like to tell you is there is a purpose for you, i dont wana sound like the ignorant christian pointing you to the light and preach the word of god... no I doubt any hail mary's will do any good...

You know I was just like you once, (no seriously i was) and in a way i still resemble that part of me up till today, coz as you say, self-hatred is a scar that runs deep, yes it does and it wont entirely go away, but like all bad habits, low sef-esteem and confidence is a bad habit, you have to fight it, if say its your looks that bring you down, and your not happy with how you look then you should fight it and make those necesary changes to satisfy yourself, thats how you combat this problem... :) and smile alot, you usualy get them back in them return, start by finding something about you that you find worth loving, even if it is just a toe
 
You just have to keep remembering that it's very hard to do anything when under the impression that you can't do it. Once you realise that you can (realistically speaking) do anything you want, then you can get motivated.
I actually found that in workshop environments, or anywhere where you're getting someone elses opinion, being positive about your work is very important. For instance my university course consists mainly of showing my writing to others and getting their opinions to further develop the pieces. While it is important to value other people's opinions, if you're negative about your work (saying it sucks and whatnot, generally being negative), then people will get the impression you didn't try hard and give it your all.

I hope that helps somewhat.
 
Focus on things you can change, and work towards changing them.

Don't worry about things you can't change. You will drive yourself crazy.
 
Even the little things. Your username - 'poo poo head' isn't doing anything good for you.

Try to stop putting yourself in a bad light, like Dekstar said.
 
Do something active like going to the gym regularly.
 
If you do find some pride in yourself in some way, be sure not to overdo it. Like me.
...
...
...

Or you'll be called an ego-centric bigot and nobody will like you, thus losing self-esteem points. In which case you'll end up right back at square one.

It's a vicious cycle. :E

(the effect is quite marginal on me however, as I don't really care what people think. It might effect others though, so beware of what you say around others.)
 
Wow, Saturos- you're shamelessly plugging your own stupidity.

It must be difficult to imagine yourself as you really are, though, so I guess you can't be entirely to blame. Some people are just born clueless.
 
When people praise me unexpectedly for something I've done, that boosts my confidence and motivates me to do more.
 
If you must think badly of yourself, at least remind yourself that almost everyone else is even worse. Seriously, just look at those shoddy ****ers.
 
life is a joke, dont take it seriously...
 
Well, I have that problem too but I've learn several ways to remedy it.

What I'm doing now is to do little things that I wouldn't normally do and be accustomed to it. E.g. Look at someone in the eye and not at the ground.

I've improved a lot through this practices over time.

I also try to do things that I like which I am not confident in. For example, I really liked acting back when I was like 6-7 but never pursued it because of my parents. Naturally I've lost confidence in acting but I've started pursuing it about a few months ago and it did me wonders. Through breaking my fears on stage and praises and support from actors and producers, I was able to improve my self-esteem and confident.

In the end, we need to have courage to do things we are not comfortable with. I hope that helps! :)

PS:Bringing it out is the first step. You're on your way buddy . ^^
 
Tyguy said:
life is a joke, dont take it seriously...
Click to expand...

Your post, your avatar, and your sig all work awesomely together just now.


JUST DOOOOOOOOOON"T STOP BEEELIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEVING!!
 
Saturos said:
(the effect is quite marginal on me however, as I don't really care what people think. It might effect others though, so beware of what you say around others.)
Click to expand...

If a pretty big number of people are accusing you of intolerant, ignorant, moronic bigotry and stupendous stupidity, would you not say the alarm bells are starting to ring-a-ding-ding just a little? That maybe you should start being more...open minded toward the way people perceive you, i.e a ****ing cock.
 
Samon said:
If a pretty big number of people are accusing you of intolerant, ignorant, moronic bigotry and stupendous stupidity, would you not say the alarm bells are starting to ring-a-ding-ding just a little? That maybe you should start being more...open minded toward the way people perceive you, i.e a ****ing cock.
Click to expand...
I already have a head start on that, but thanks for nothing.

I don't care what kind of vendetta anyone has on me. I'm a forgive and forget person, (From now on anyways) but obviously that's not everyone else's philosophy on life around here.

Lighten up already.
 
whyso.jpg
 
How old are you poo poo head? Try doing things you've never tried, but are something that you can reasonably accomplish. Do you know how to type (not hunt/peck)? Learn how to do that... you can pick it up with some practice. Have you raised a plant from a seedling? Cared for a fish? Built anything (even frickin' legos)? I think a lot of self esteem is typically built throughout one's childhood as they are successful in various challenges which builds and reinforces their confidence about themselves. Learning to ride a bike, learning to swim, following the instructions for a lego set, growing a crystal in a chemistry set, climbing a fruit tree and getting a ripe fruit, raising Sea Monkeys, learning to drive a stick shift... these things people probably take for granted, but without them, there's not much left to stem the media and other people from trying to convince you that you're not okay. If you're already familiar with something, push your limits.

Self-hatred is another ball game. Some self-confidence may help, but perhaps there's a chemical element to what you're experiencing?
 
poo poo head said:
Self-Esteem and confidence is something that i have learned to be important. The problem is...i have little to almost no self-esteem, seriously, which leads to no confidence in myself. I can never conceive myself as anything good, or feel i can do anything right, even when i do something right or good, i feel as if i didn't. Lately, i have been doing my damn best to change that, but it so hard to change the perception of myself after so many years of being seen as...well, nothing. Self-hatred is a scar that runs deep down, and my confidence is puny.

Anyway, as i stated, i'm trying my best to improve it, so i can move on and gain more confidence in myself, and to view myself in a more positive way. Are there any tips that HL2.net can throw this way. I'm trying to do as much as i can here, you guys are probably more helpful than my own family.

Thanks :dork:
Click to expand...

Hey, I'm the same!
 
poo poo head said:
Self-Esteem and confidence is something that i have learned to be important. The problem is...i have little to almost no self-esteem, seriously, which leads to no confidence in myself. I can never conceive myself as anything good, or feel i can do anything right, even when i do something right or good, i feel as if i didn't. Lately, i have been doing my damn best to change that, but it so hard to change the perception of myself after so many years of being seen as...well, nothing. Self-hatred is a scar that runs deep down, and my confidence is puny.

Anyway, as i stated, i'm trying my best to improve it, so i can move on and gain more confidence in myself, and to view myself in a more positive way. Are there any tips that HL2.net can throw this way. I'm trying to do as much as i can here, you guys are probably more helpful than my own family.

Thanks :dork:
Click to expand...
Find something to accomplish and accomplish it. Then find something bigger. Keep doing this.

I had problems with my self esteem until I decided to start working out and gained a bunch of muscle, something I thought I could never do.

Find something that you can work towards and work towards it. And this has to come from within yourself, don't make stupid goals like "I want to date that hot chick from high school" or "I want to be with the 'in' crowd". Then you're depending on other people and their perceptions, you can't control those. You need to be in control, and that's the key.

Good luck.
 
Tyguy said:
life is a joke, dont take it seriously...
Click to expand...

Actually, this is somewhat true, and what i try to believe. Sometimes people just take things too seriously, perhaps they should...lighten up. But really, sometimes i think its best to look at things from a less serious standpoint, it just makes things feel better.

Adabiviak said:
How old are you poo poo head? Try doing things you've never tried, but are something that you can reasonably accomplish. Do you know how to type (not hunt/peck)? Learn how to do that... you can pick it up with some practice. Have you raised a plant from a seedling? Cared for a fish? Built anything (even frickin' legos)? I think a lot of self esteem is typically built throughout one's childhood as they are successful in various challenges which builds and reinforces their confidence about themselves. Learning to ride a bike, learning to swim, following the instructions for a lego set, growing a crystal in a chemistry set, climbing a fruit tree and getting a ripe fruit, raising Sea Monkeys, learning to drive a stick shift... these things people probably take for granted, but without them, there's not much left to stem the media and other people from trying to convince you that you're not okay. If you're already familiar with something, push your limits.

Self-hatred is another ball game. Some self-confidence may help, but perhaps there's a chemical element to what you're experiencing?
Click to expand...

I am 20 years old. I have done all those things. When i was a child i did a lot actually, but my accomplishments were often marred by demoralization from others, as well as just being overlooked most of the time. I've had depression for many many years as some may know if you have previously read, but i'm trying to get that out of the way, although it is still there.

I seriously feel guilty if i even so much as talk about myself, probably because i dont' wanna end up conceited like many people i have met. I even feel bad if i buy something for myself, even if it is needed. I feel as if i don't deserve these things. When people see me, i have no idea what they see, but when i see me, i see...nothing.

I've accomplished a lot, i'm one of the few in my entire family and friends that has made it into a 4 year university, i've dropped over 60 pounds, i can type fast, i play keyboard and guitar, hell i even made a didgeridoo, yet i still can't seem to get it through my head.

Its funny to say this is an improvement over what i used to think of myself...gotta keep workin'
 
probably because i dont' wanna end up conceited like many people i have met.
Click to expand...
And here's the root problem. You don't want to be stuck up so you debase yourself. Not the healthy way of going. Be conceited. There's a long way from where you are now and being an arrogant asshole. Try to find a happy medium.
 
Ways to boost self-esteem, hmm?? You should work at Walmart heheh..hehe *cries*
 
MiccyNarc said:
And here's the root problem. You don't want to be stuck up so you debase yourself. Not the healthy way of going. Be conceited. There's a long way from where you are now and being an arrogant asshole. Try to find a happy medium.
Click to expand...

I'm trying, thats the hard part. While it is true it is one of my bigger fears, its not entirely the root of the problem i think, but it is a large contributor. This whole weekend i've been trying to think differently in terms of myself, so far...a little progress, but progress is progress. Never said it was gonna be easy. Talking good to myself feels so...wierd :frog:
 
Saturos said:
Or you'll be called an ego-centric bigot and nobody will like you, thus losing self-esteem points. In which case you'll end up right back at square one.
Click to expand...
People naturally try to cut others down to their level, I say **** them all (well, the cute ones anyway)!

There's definitely a big difference between being cocky / egotistical / arrogant . . . .and . . . confident and high self esteem. In a social context, confidence having something valuable to offer and being content regardless of the results of an interaction.
 
Self esteem is different to confidence. I find "confident" people to be slightly irritating.
 
I'd suggest you read Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now".
 
Phobie said:
Self esteem is different to confidence. I find "confident" people to be slightly irritating.
Click to expand...

Generally I find confident people to be more interesting to be around; it's only when they become. . . .
  • Egotistical: Thinking more highly of themselves than deserved.
  • Arrogant: "I'm better than you"
  • Cocky: Putting others down to build your own sense of self-worth
How are confident people irritating?
 
That's called menial narcissim. Stay away from ****ers like that, they'll kill you.


:LOL:



Really.
 
Is there any one around you that you can make music with? Is forming/joining a band something you'd consider?

If you like... join up with some people who can't play so hot, so that you're not worried about looking bad on stage hehehe.
 
I am rarely Self Confident, but when I am, it is often a veil, a mask hiding depression or a strong dislike of the people around me.

I even wear my aviators when I begin to feel uncomfortable or I need to think while in a public setting. The thing is, it always makes others around me uncomfortable, and thusly gives me a sense of security and boost of confidence, "I can't see your eyes when I am talking to you.... that bothers me.", I like to hear that sometimes, but it's a guilt trip when it's someone you don't want to make uncomfortable.
Only my best friend knows that I do this, everyone else just finds it to be creepy and intimidating :p
 
This is often how people define confidence isn't it? A mask; a fake. You pretend to be confident, and everyone believes you, because they want to believe it's possible. Some would say that only arrogant people are truly confident. But then some people will say anything just to try and sound good.
 
Interesting. I think it comes from existing for a while, you get used to it. Just trust your past experience. People liked you at your last job? Then they will like you at this job. You made friends before, why wouldn't you be able to again? You know?

I think it's hard until the point in life where you have had a girlfriend/boyfriend that really likes/liked you. After that then you get a bit more confident.

It's very hard to approach a girl/guy you like if you have no experience and no idea who you are or where you fit in yet.

You have to be brave, you get the courage afterwards, unfortunately.
 
Getting your first counterpart is definately a confidence booster, but then you learn how easily relationships fail and crumble, so I rarely ever go into a relationship feeling really macho lol.
 
Pretending to be confident is not confidence. Confidence is not a mask. Confidence is being cool with who you are, including your "flaws." Lets say someone called me a nerd, I might respond . . .

"Thank you!"
"I wouldn't have it any other way!'
"Of course! You want to know the awesome thing about being a nerd?"
"I put computers to VERY good use"
"I don't act like one, but I am one! Very perceptive of you!"

. . . .now you can obviously put up a front and pretend & use techniques (like pretending to like being a nerd), but ture confidnece comes from within.
 
During high school I was stupid shy (mainly due to illness; Glandular Fever + Chronic Fatigue), but during the final years, AS, A-level and the like, I started going to school year round (even when I was feeling dead), and finding I was actually not half bad at English helped my confidence a lot.
This transferred over to University, where I was one of the top in my creative writing classes. I was still shy, but I was sure of my ability with writing, which apparently means something, as I've made a lot of friends and done a lot of things I wouldn't have previously had the opportunity to do.

Also first girlfriend, which = yay.
 
Hmm, talking about and thinking about this topic made me really insecure for a little while when I left and went to the grocery store. Then I got over it. I think it's best not to think about confidence and self-esteem. There are so many other things you can be thinking about - things that matter.

There are so many people in this world, you can't base the opinion of yourself off of how others treat you. If someone thinks bad about you, forget them.

Someone told me to forget all the bad things people have said about you and just remember the good things. I think that's pretty useful.
 
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