phantomdesign
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That's called "making identity meaning out of external events." You are whoever you want to be, not what some jackass says you are.
Self-Esteem and Confidence
- Thread starter poo poo head
- Start date
poo poo head
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Ugh, my confidence was dealt a blow today, and my self-esteem was less than usual today. First i woke up just feeling utterly sad. Luckily my friends and i went to a baseball game.
Everything was running smooth, met this odd can collecting fellow who gave us weed, but anyway, thats when a truck with 3 very pretty girls pulls up. They talked to us a little bit before the game, but after they talked with us more. I told my self to be more confident and talk more, ask questions, not to attract them or anything, but just to at least try to talk to new people more, but standard procedure happens. I ask a question, i get a snicker, a long drawn answer, and a dirty look, as if i did something bad, i just tried to ask a few questions with no remarks or comments. So as always, my friends seem to draw all the attention (most people do find them more attractive then me), and as always, i'm pretty much the odd man out. My friends tried to include me in stuff, but them didn't seem to notice or care, so at least we all tried. Just another day...
I tried, i know its not guaranteed to work for everyone because every person is different, but its not much of a boost from where i was standing today.
As for playing music, i wish i could play with my friends, but i'm just an okay acoustic guitar and keyboard player, the only people i know who i can play with are all monstrously good at either drums, or guitar, so its hard to keep up with them, but i've tried.
As for a girlfriend, well, i never really had one. Hell only up until earlier this year i had never even been kissed...
And as for now...i feel like i did this morning, standing on the edge. Part of me remains optimistic and hopeful, but the other part wants me to destroy myself. I hate having to live this almost everyday, but its better than it was in the past...Still, i think i'll just lie awake for most of the night, thinking, waiting in vain, and probably tearful. Sometimes it feels like nothing changes...pathetic...just another night...
:x
Everything was running smooth, met this odd can collecting fellow who gave us weed, but anyway, thats when a truck with 3 very pretty girls pulls up. They talked to us a little bit before the game, but after they talked with us more. I told my self to be more confident and talk more, ask questions, not to attract them or anything, but just to at least try to talk to new people more, but standard procedure happens. I ask a question, i get a snicker, a long drawn answer, and a dirty look, as if i did something bad, i just tried to ask a few questions with no remarks or comments. So as always, my friends seem to draw all the attention (most people do find them more attractive then me), and as always, i'm pretty much the odd man out. My friends tried to include me in stuff, but them didn't seem to notice or care, so at least we all tried. Just another day...
I tried, i know its not guaranteed to work for everyone because every person is different, but its not much of a boost from where i was standing today.
As for playing music, i wish i could play with my friends, but i'm just an okay acoustic guitar and keyboard player, the only people i know who i can play with are all monstrously good at either drums, or guitar, so its hard to keep up with them, but i've tried.
As for a girlfriend, well, i never really had one. Hell only up until earlier this year i had never even been kissed...
And as for now...i feel like i did this morning, standing on the edge. Part of me remains optimistic and hopeful, but the other part wants me to destroy myself. I hate having to live this almost everyday, but its better than it was in the past...Still, i think i'll just lie awake for most of the night, thinking, waiting in vain, and probably tearful. Sometimes it feels like nothing changes...pathetic...just another night...
:x
kineaesth
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Solaris
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Confidence isn't knowing people have your back, or that your in a safe place. It's knowing, whatever happens, you can handle it.
It's having no ego so there is nothing anyone can say to hurt you, as somebody else said, you embrace your flaws to the extent that they're not even flaws - just quirks.
I've put alot of work into being more confident (especially in social situations with girls) over the last year with alot of success. I went from being really uncomfertable around strangers to being able to go up to girls in a bar and just talk whatevers on my mind. Whenever I post or PM the path I took for others to follow though, always gets a negative responce, so I guess you gotta find what's right for you...
It's having no ego so there is nothing anyone can say to hurt you, as somebody else said, you embrace your flaws to the extent that they're not even flaws - just quirks.
I've put alot of work into being more confident (especially in social situations with girls) over the last year with alot of success. I went from being really uncomfertable around strangers to being able to go up to girls in a bar and just talk whatevers on my mind. Whenever I post or PM the path I took for others to follow though, always gets a negative responce, so I guess you gotta find what's right for you...
AiM
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I know this sounds superficial, but having a good appearance will go a long way in helping you establish confidence, especially with girls. Learn to dress properly, get a good haircut, use the right smells, clean up any skin problems, etc.
