So there is this girl...(lol problems)

[Cormeh]

One of the biggest problems i have is a severe lack of confidence and self-esteem. I think this is really hindering me back, but it is really hard for me to change that, but i am trying. Still its hard for me to even ask her because i have this belief in my head that she would never like someone as ugly as me.

You're not going to do it even if we tell you to.

Perhaps it would be better to get shot of this attitude about being ugly and low in confidence before acting on anything. People have called you ugly in the past? Big deal. Funnily enough it doesn't actually make you ugly. Does this perhaps stem from taking yourself far, far too seriously? Why? You're never, ever going to be universally popular with anyone.

Start working on the good rather than focusing on what you perceive as the bad and loosen up for christ's sake. She's just a girl.

 

[sinkoman]

You're not going to do it even if we tell you to.

Perhaps it would be better to get shot of this attitude about being ugly and low in confidence before acting on anything. People have called you ugly in the past? Big deal. Funnily enough it doesn't actually make you ugly. Does this perhaps stem from taking yourself far, far too seriously? Why? You're never, ever going to be universally popular with anyone.

Start working on the good rather than focusing on what you perceive as the bad and loosen up for christ's sake. She's just a girl.

Trufe. Although a very harsh way of breaking it...

You can't expect to deal with a woman if you can't deal with yourself.

 

[giant384]

OP you should expect these answers eventually

 

[Ennui]

Do it, tell her you like her or just kiss her. If she doesn't reciprocate (although it sounds like she does, really) then you can just play it off, deal with a little bit of awkwardness, and then not worry about it since she's going to be abroad.

 

[Cole]

Yeah, go on a journey to get some self confidence. If you don't have confidence you don't have girls.

"Chicks Dig Confidence", The Clitoris - South Park.

Follow the yellow brick road like that lion! You will find confidence!

 

[Sheepo]

Stick it up her bum

 

[Slug Advisor]

Dude, grab life by the hair, slap it silly, lock it up in your cellar, rape it twice a day for two years, and when there's no friction any more, make artificial holes, with sharp things.

What I'm saying is, do whatever you think is right.

 

[Sheepo]

Dear god the sigablility of the above statement

 

[Shift]

Just grow a ****ing backbone and tell her, whats the worst that could happen, ok you get declined, so what, move on, at least you found out.

 

[Iron Kat]

Just run her over with a car. It worked for me in GTAIV.

Honestly though, there's really not a "friend zone" unless you have a brother, sister thing going down which is pretty rare. I'm a girl irl. And from experience, I can say--tell us or not, it doesn't matter. A lot of the times we already know, especially if we're friends. Just tell her you think she's pretty or you like her and see what happens. If you're as good of friends as you say, if she doesn't like you, she'll tell you and it'll become something you both laugh about years from now when you have your own relationships. Taking the risk is a lot better than not, or taking it too late. I've had the latter happen to me a few times, and always been mad at the guy for not asking a year prior.

I agree. Not much more i can add except just go for it!!!

 

[nurizeko]

Just run her over with a car. It worked for me in GTAIV.

Honestly though, there's really not a "friend zone" unless you have a brother, sister thing going down which is pretty rare. I'm a girl irl. And from experience, I can say--tell us or not, it doesn't matter. A lot of the times we already know, especially if we're friends. Just tell her you think she's pretty or you like her and see what happens. If you're as good of friends as you say, if she doesn't like you, she'll tell you and it'll become something you both laugh about years from now when you have your own relationships. Taking the risk is a lot better than not, or taking it too late. I've had the latter happen to me a few times, and always been mad at the guy for not asking a year prior.

Then why didn't you ask him?, why is it always up to the guy to figure out if you like him back or you will cut him off if he so much as offends you with his sincere unavoidable attraction to what I guess is qualities that makes his chosen victim, sorry, love interest a good person?.



We need to foster a society in which there is no taboo or shame in admitting feelings, a society where people are brought up to not fear declaring their affections and risking ackward break-up of friendships over it.



Ah feck it.

OP, don't bother. Your type set. Your a "just a friend" because she didn't have the ovaries to ask you out the momment you met and you didn't immediately treat her like a prospective girlfriend. Thats right, guys put women into three groups, want to hump, friends and eww god no.


Seriously though, wrong forum and we cant help you, grow a pair (not breasts you muppet!) and either ask her out or decide you prefer the assurance of the friendship over the slim chance of a relationship, and seek some other woman of much lower value and risk for your intimate needs.




Hope my rambling post helped.

And hey, if it does work out, you'll possibly have a better relationship than most because you already have a friendship established.

Nope. Out of the four proper relationships I had that could be considered long term and with friendship in the mix, only one of them has stayed a friend. A really great friend actually and with all sexual chemistry thoroughly killed, but the rest are either forgotten all but completely or remembered bitterly.


Adding the romantic element to an inter-gender friendship can add allot of emotional angles that you cannot predict, something you like doing together as friends can become irrationally important "in the relationship" if you hook up, silly things that wouldn't have bothered you because of the mutual respect in a friendship can suddenly become big issues in the cold harsh illogical expectations of romantic fantasy.


The notion that a failed relationship can return to a good friendship is a rarity, not the norm.

 

[repiV]

Crap, wrong forum, Move plz if possible, ty in advanced, the undersigned.

(tldr version at the bottom for lazy peoples convenience)

So i'm trying to decide whether or not to tell this girl how i feel about her. The problem: She is also one of my oldest friends, and her brother was my best childhood friend.

The Story: Their family and mine have known each other since...forever. Anyway, we were all close until about 6th grade when they moved out. I still hung out with them, but we all drifted apart as time went on. Then their was a dark age starting in high school where i didn't see any of them at all. The turning point was when i received an invitation to their high school graduation and for the first time in nearly 5 years i got to see them all, and thats when i saw how beautiful she had become, hell she cried when she saw me (i've deduced this down to either she was startled at my ugliness, or it had just been a long time, either one is believable). I then found out she was going to the same college as i was, and thats where we are today. I hang out with her as much as i can.

The Current Story: Me and her hang out once a week usually, and she is leaving to Spain to study abroad on June 28. Her brother and i are still friends, but not as close as we used to be. She is single, and so am i, and we have many similarities. My biggest fear was that i had already been friend zoned, but almost everyone i had talk to about this had told me that from the looks of it i haven't (and i hope i haven't!!).

One of the biggest problems i have is a severe lack of confidence and self-esteem. I think this is really hindering me back, but it is really hard for me to change that, but i am trying. Still its hard for me to even ask her because i have this belief in my head that she would never like someone as ugly as me.

Anyway, this is where you, Half-Life 2.netholes come in. Should i tell her, yes or no? If so, any tips and/or hate speech you would like to tell me?

TLDR; Hot girl, my old friend, i like her, tell her? Do it ******! or Don't.

Disclaimer: I haven't read any of the followup posts.

That being said, what would you have to gain by telling her anything? She's moving abroad in a couple of weeks - it's a lose-lose situation. Either you create a very awkward situation because she doesn't feel the same way about you, she moves away and you lose touch...
Or you successfully move things to the next level, but she's going overseas so you can't have a relationship...the relationship that never took off fizzles out, you probably won't be able to rekindle it in future and you'll have ruined a lifelong friendship. Relationships need maintenance like friendships don't - at the very least, leave it until she comes back and then think about it again.

Don't do it...you have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Besides, if you have to have "the big talk" then it's probably a bad idea anyway. These things should just flow naturally.

 

[poo poo head]

Well, i've thought about it thoroughly, looked at the possibilities, did some experiments, hired some experts, launched a rocket, etc. Anyway, the point is i have decided to tell her. With my mind set, now their is no stopping me, usually when their is an idea in my head, i have to go through with it. I just gotta man up, and do what i feel i should.

To sum it up, i'm damned if i do, and i'm damned if i don't, but i got it in my heart so i'll be Damned if i won't!

I've gone through too much shit in my life to let my nerves from stopping me. Interesting how this situation has made me think about a lot of things in my life. Maybe this is the event that changes it...maybe

Anyway, whatever happens happens, could be bad, could be good. Hell if i know. Next up, actually doing it. Hopefully sometime next week, were both hella busy with these damn finals!

Interesting topic this turned out to be as well, very...intriguing ideas and comments some people make, but then again its HL2.net!

 

[sinkoman]

Don't be all "oh, there's something I need to tell you...". That's gay. Really gay.

Unless of course you are gay. Then do it. You'll fail. Then call me up, we'll have a grand old time!

 

[VirusType2]

Lesson 1:

I had a friend who I did not find attractive, but we would joke around and talk a little. Then she started flirting a little, and I was surprised and I probably laughed. I used keywords like, 'you better stop' with a friendly smile. Then she got phsyco, really started flirting. She would get nervous when talking to me, she would be waiting outside the door, things like that. It was REALLY ****ING AWKWARD and I couldn't be friends with her anymore.

Do not do this.


The other thing is, if she is moving away, then you really have nothing to lose or gain.

If she is coming back (and you expect her to be in your life) then you have something to lose.


I mean if you really like her, it's stupid not to let her know, but you have to be cool, you can't be crazy.


Maybe say something like, "it's really too bad you are leaving." and test her reaction. You have to put your hand on her lower back preferably when saying it to her - this is body language that signals that you want more than friends. If you don't do this, you fail. Just think about something else (happy thoughts) and quickly do it. don't think about what you are doing or you will be nervous and creepy.

DO NOT TOUCH HER ****ING SHOULDER - that means "I want to be friends."

Body language is everything. It doesn't matter what you look like if you don't know how to touch a girl.

One last thing, if it starts to get awkward, say, "I'm really sorry. " and run away. Leave quickly with your pride intact. You should still be able to be friends that way.

THE END.

oh, one more thing, if you say 'it's too bad you are moving away" and she says something like "i'll be back soon" then i think you've got a chance. If she starts talking about how excited she is to go or talking about being there, then you've already lost her.

 

[Jintor]

Helplife2.net to the rescue once more!

One day I will start one of these threads and feel horribly pathetic too. :3

 

[nurizeko]

I think were all cheapened a little, lowered in the un-pathetic scales, when we participate in this thread, be it genuine attempts at advise or simply loltrolling.


I'm with repiV...for a change....by the sounds of it the most likely outcome is the OP ends up where he started, single, and his love interest unsurprisingly with some other guy, who she will happily talk to him about.

OP, you can tell her if you want, and normally I would support it, but you obviously consider her a good friend (I hope not in the "Good friend because I wanna bury my face into her chest someday" type) and she's going away and she obviously has made no attempt at starting a relationship with you.....your basically a friend from her youth, and if nothings happened yet its not going to happen, either because she aint interested or shes not interested enough to ignore the fact your lives are going separate ways, especially in the near future.


Keep her as a friend for now, find sex somewhere else, and if she ever comes back and you haven't found someone, go for it.