AKIRA
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- Feb 6, 2006
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Hey HL2.net..basically I'll keep it as short as I can and just see if you guys can possibly help me out.
Exactly 1 year ago, I went through a pretty weird depression/anxiety phase which lasted about 2 months..it caused me to break up with my girlfriend(which I got back together with last october). I don't know why, or how but it has come back...do you think that it's just bad memories coming back to haunt me? I mean, I had a little breakdown earlier today but I seem to be calm..for now.
This is where the problem is. For some reason...things just look "different" then they did like a week ago and it's the same symptoms that I went through last summer this exact time. I don't know what the cause is but from that, I get depressed a little then from there I get a huge dose of anxiety because my mind keeps racing and telling me that I'm going through the EXACT same phase as I did last year and that soon I'll break up with my gf because of it (which I REALLY don't want to do as I care for her very much) but I just need to find ways to eliminate this anxiety.
I've been to different sites and they come up with decent ways but I can't help but feel that I'll feel ok for only a couple of hours - or maybe a few days then out of nowhere I'll bounce right back to where I was...this is really affecting me and I'm getting pretty rattled about it.
I know I said I'd keep it short so if you want to stop now you can go ahead..what I'm about to write is my exact though process on what happens when this depression/anxiety kicks in:
I'm relatively calm...but then all of the sudden a wave of depression/anxiety comes out of nowhere...I try and get myself out of it telling myself "it's just bad memories". This usually doesn't work so then I try to pinpoint why I feel this way exactly...Things have been happening the same way they have this summer pretty much the same way last summer which causes me to think "this is it, it's happening all over again, you're ****ed"...Then time goes by where I'm relatively calm again (but it's hard to describe but deep down it's like something is brewing and I can sort of anticipate another episode coming)..then I sort of get depressed about how I got the episode earlier and it's just an endless cycle.
Get anxiety/depression...calm later on...think about how I felt just hours earlier...episode kicks in again.
This has been going on since Monday and I'm really trying to get a grip on myself but it's pretty hard since everything looks/feels the exact same way as I did last summer.
I am trying to not tell anyone I know about this because it's the exact same thing I did last summer which didn't really help to much...On the other hand I know bottling up and "self-medicating" isn't the answer either.
Instead of going to the doctors or something I thought I'd ask here to see if/how some of you guys are going through this or have dealt with it.
As of right now, I'm feeling calm but feel something brewing..don't know what to do.
Again, sorry for the long post, look forward to reading some replies:cheers:
Exactly 1 year ago, I went through a pretty weird depression/anxiety phase which lasted about 2 months..it caused me to break up with my girlfriend(which I got back together with last october). I don't know why, or how but it has come back...do you think that it's just bad memories coming back to haunt me? I mean, I had a little breakdown earlier today but I seem to be calm..for now.
This is where the problem is. For some reason...things just look "different" then they did like a week ago and it's the same symptoms that I went through last summer this exact time. I don't know what the cause is but from that, I get depressed a little then from there I get a huge dose of anxiety because my mind keeps racing and telling me that I'm going through the EXACT same phase as I did last year and that soon I'll break up with my gf because of it (which I REALLY don't want to do as I care for her very much) but I just need to find ways to eliminate this anxiety.
I've been to different sites and they come up with decent ways but I can't help but feel that I'll feel ok for only a couple of hours - or maybe a few days then out of nowhere I'll bounce right back to where I was...this is really affecting me and I'm getting pretty rattled about it.
I know I said I'd keep it short so if you want to stop now you can go ahead..what I'm about to write is my exact though process on what happens when this depression/anxiety kicks in:
I'm relatively calm...but then all of the sudden a wave of depression/anxiety comes out of nowhere...I try and get myself out of it telling myself "it's just bad memories". This usually doesn't work so then I try to pinpoint why I feel this way exactly...Things have been happening the same way they have this summer pretty much the same way last summer which causes me to think "this is it, it's happening all over again, you're ****ed"...Then time goes by where I'm relatively calm again (but it's hard to describe but deep down it's like something is brewing and I can sort of anticipate another episode coming)..then I sort of get depressed about how I got the episode earlier and it's just an endless cycle.
Get anxiety/depression...calm later on...think about how I felt just hours earlier...episode kicks in again.
This has been going on since Monday and I'm really trying to get a grip on myself but it's pretty hard since everything looks/feels the exact same way as I did last summer.
I am trying to not tell anyone I know about this because it's the exact same thing I did last summer which didn't really help to much...On the other hand I know bottling up and "self-medicating" isn't the answer either.
Instead of going to the doctors or something I thought I'd ask here to see if/how some of you guys are going through this or have dealt with it.
As of right now, I'm feeling calm but feel something brewing..don't know what to do.
Again, sorry for the long post, look forward to reading some replies:cheers: