Stern's Cornacopia of Annoying Stupid Co-worker Habits™

[CptStern]

It's that time again: Stern's Cornacopia of Annoying Stupid Co-worker Habits™


k that woman is back in my office today ...and she's driving me freakin nuts


my pet peeve above everything else in this world is when people eat with their mouths open or make sucking sounds when eating


at this moment and for the last 10 minutes she's been making sucking noises through her teeth ..as if she's trying to clear something that's stuck between her teeth ..it's like a spike driven into the side of my head which is repeatedly hit by a sledge hammer


if this woman keeps using the spare computer in my office ....well I dont know what I'm liable to do ... :O



what's your pet peeve?

 

[Ennui]

Blow the spare computer up.

 

[DiSTuRbEd]

Mine would be when someone tells me to not to talk when my mouth is full of food, and they are doing the same thing right then.

 

[Kamikazie]

something else that you could call it is "what grinds my gears"

 

[CptStern]

"what sends me into a tizzy"

"the straw that broke Stern's back"

"why stern went ****ing insane and killed everybody in the office"



those thread titles crossed my mind till I settled the one currently being used

 

[Kamikazie]

i like the third one personally

 

[CptStern]

i like the third one personally

ya me too ....but I didnt want to leave any forensic evidence behind ...... :E :|

 

[Combine Elite]

Heh

"what sends me into a tizzy"

"the straw that broke Stern's back"

"why stern went ****ing insane and killed everybody in the office"



those thread titles crossed my mind till I settled the one currently being used

Number three...strikes a chord in me.

I hate people that insist on sniffling and whistling at the desk. I wants to **** them up!

 

[Razor]

Lol, Stern as annoying as your co-worker is, at least you don't work with the guy i do...


He proclaims himself an army man even though he works in a supermarket and lives on an army base because his mum and dad work in the officer's mess.
His way of greeting people, both men and women, is grabbing their arses.
He is 6'4" and must weigh no more then 8 stone, has glasses, ginger hair and ensures everyone knows he shaves his *private area*.
He threatens to beat up anyone who disagrees with him.
He finds out where we're meeting on a night out and follows us about town pissing off entire night clubs, pubs and gangs of guys that all want to see him dead.
He makes stupid Michael Jackson noises at the top of his voice in public whilst grabbing his crotch and then gets pissed off as everyone else doesn't do it.
When he can't find out where we're going on a night out, he will invite himself round peoples houses to get changed.

So Stern, i will gladly switch your annoying worker for mine. I will even give you his msn details as well for you to chat in the evenings .

 

[SLH]

1) Open up the computer case.
2) Do a number 2 in the computer case.
3) Close the computer case.
4) Wait for her to decide not to use that computer any more.

 

[Dr. Freeman]

oh!!
Stern has his own movie now called cs_office?

/me grabs some popcorn

someone turn down the lights please? :E

 

[Kamikazie]

I got the coke\pepsi (which everone you want) got an extra chair around here?

 

[CptStern]

Lol, Stern as annoying as your co-worker is, at least you don't work with the guy i do...


He proclaims himself an army man even though he works in a supermarket and lives on an army base because his mum and dad work in the officer's mess.
His way of greeting people, both men and women, is grabbing their arses.
He is 6'4" and must weigh no more then 8 stone, has glasses, ginger hair and ensures everyone knows he shaves his *private area*.
He threatens to beat up anyone who disagrees with him.
He finds out where we're meeting on a night out and follows us about town pissing off entire night clubs, pubs and gangs of guys that all want to see him dead.
He makes stupid Michael Jackson noises at the top of his voice in public whilst grabbing his crotch and then gets pissed off as everyone else doesn't do it.
When he can't find out where we're going on a night out, he will invite himself round peoples houses to get changed.

So Stern, i will gladly switch your annoying worker for mine. I will even give you his msn details as well for you to chat in the evenings .

just tell him your gay and you think that he should wear leather more often ...if that doesnt work just slit his throat


disclaimer: stern is not in any way advocating violence on any employees out there ..that rules doesnt apply to stern's co-workers



sssszk .........tssssk .....tssssssstsk


STOP ****ING SUCKING THROUGH YOUR TEETH YOU FREAKIN ANIMAL


disclaimer: no offense to animals




Dr. Freeman, Kamikazie: I hope you brought a raincoat cuz this is gonna get bloody


/me rolls up sleeves and prepares to administer some bone on bone ass smackin


SLH wins suggestion of the day

 

[Kamikazie]

is it going to be like one of Gallagher's shows?

 

[Razor]

just tell him your gay and you think that he should wear leather more often...

The last time he grabbed my arse, i told him that i am not gay, nor ever wanted to be gay and even if i was, i would rather shove a large cucumber up my arse then ever do anything with him and that if he ever wanted to touch my arse again, i would floor him...the moron smirked at me like a prick and walked off.

You sure you don't want his msn, you could moan at him and take out all lifes frustrations on him . I think he might even be a Bush supporter as well .



But ask this woman Stern what she thinks of George W Bush and Republican's in general, in might be the start of a very beautiful friendship or the start of your murder trial .

 

[Shamrock]

Sing to her Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. I am sure she will get annoyed and flee to the nearest suicide booth.

 

[knut]

what's your pet peeve?

Simular to yours on the eating-with-mouth-open front, only I can'tstand it when people slurp their drinks.

 

[CptStern]

The last time he grabbed my arse, i told him that i am not gay, nor ever wanted to be gay and even if i was, i would rather shove a large cucumber up my arse then ever do anything with him and that if he ever wanted to touch my arse again, i would floor him...the moron smirked at me like a prick and walked off.

see? that worked beautifully didnt it?

You sure you don't want his msn, you could moan at him and take out all lifes frustrations on him . I think he might even be a Bush supporter as well .

I'd shut him up pretty quick ..I can be cruel if need be ..pick on his arse-grabbing as a blatant sign of closeted homosexuality


...seriously push the gay issue ...some men are so terrified of being perceived to be gay that they'll do anything to prove otherwise ...it'll probably give him the hint ...but threatening to smash his face works too ...I just like to be more subtle :E

But ask this woman Stern what she thinks of George W Bush and Republican's in general, in might be the start of a very beautiful friendship or the start of your murder trial .

but she's dumb as a post ...I have barely the strength to engage her in idle chit-chat ..like "how's the weather outside" or "do you have life insurance?"

 

[CptStern]

Simular to yours on the eating-with-mouth-open front, only I can'tstand it when people slurp their drinks.

I absolutely hate it ...we have a small lunchroom where most of the staff eats during lunch (hence the name lunchroom) ..in 3 different shifts. I eat at my desk because there's this older guy on the same lunch shift that makes so much noise when eating ..but he also talks when eating and food is falling out his mouth ...anyways ...there's only 3 people on that lunch shift now (there's 10 per shift usually) and I suspect it's because they cant stand eating around him either

 

[Razor]

I'd shut him up pretty quick ..I can be cruel if need be ..pick on his arse-grabbing as a blatant sign of closeted homosexuality


...seriously push the gay issue ...some men are so terrified of being perceived to be gay that they'll do anything to prove otherwise ...it'll probably give him the hint ...but threatening to smash his face works too ...I just like to be more subtle :E"

We did make a few comments and he suddenly became extremely defensive and seemed to come out with some very homophobic stuff, see everyone suddenly started thinking that he is a closet gay.

 

[CptStern]

in my experience the louder the loud mouth the easier it is to shut him up


there's a guy here at work who's the same sort of personality ...last year he pissed me off with an inappropriate remark and I threatened him by stabbing my finger a few inches from his face and saying "dont give me you your ****ing bullshit, I wont put up with your stupidity either do what has to be done or I'll take it up with the CEO" ...he's been nice to me ever since ...I'm not an angry person but sometimes you gotta be forceful ...btw 3 of my co-workers that same day came up to me and thanked me for yelling at him

 

[CptStern]

annoying things that have happened in my office in the last 10 minutes


1. her 10 yr old son is sitting with her (I guess she feels a workplace is a good replacement for a baby sitter) ..and he just farted ...low little squeek but he farted nonetheless ...mom ignored it and the kid giggled

2. She called someone ...a friend I'm guessing ..and preceded to read her horoscope to her as well as her son's horoscope and even asked me what sign I am ...I lied and said I was the same as her son


3. she's getting annoyed with her son because he's absolutely bored to tears watching her work (wow who would have thought a 10 yr old would be bored in a fun place like an office) ....she's actually telling him to stop complaining ...HELLO!!! why did you bring him with you if dont want to deal with his boredom?



on tuesday when the guy who usually sits at the spare computer comes back from vacation, I'm going to kiss him and then chain him to his desk

 

[Razor]

annoying things that have happened in my office in the last 10 minutes


1. her 10 yr old son is sitting with her (I guess she feels a workplace is a good replacement for a baby sitter) ..and he just farted ...low little squeek but he farted nonetheless ...mom ignored it and the kid giggled

2. She called someone ...a friend I'm guessing ..and preceded to read her horoscope to her as well as her son's horoscope and even asked me what sign I am ...I lied and said I was the same as her son


3. she's getting annoyed with her son because he's absolutely bored to tears watching her work (wow who would have thought a 10 yr old would be bored in a fun place like an office) ....she's actually telling him to stop complaining ...HELLO!!! why did you bring him with you if dont want to deal with his boredom?

Oh shit, you've got problems Stern, you've already allowed her to breed .

 

[CptStern]

heheh there's more than one ...guess who's older son is working in the shipping area this summer ........yup