"Testing" -- An Ep.2 / Portal Fan-Fic.

T

Tut11534

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Hey everyone. I just decided that I'd post a (pretty crappy) fan-fic I wrote about Portal/Ep. 2 on these forums. I don't even like it very much myself, but maybe you people will. Well, try not to be too harsh, but use Constructive Criticism. Heck, I might not even continue the story if nobody likes it, but, with out further adu, here is chapter one of "Testing"

A Hole in the Sky


Adrian Shephard slowly opened his eyes. Where ever he was, it was very bright, and the H.E.C.U. Corporal lay blinking rapidly until he adjusted himself to the light. Even though he was feeling overwhelmed with grogginess, Shephard forced himself to sit up. As he looked around, he became fascinated with the room around him. Technology was everywhere, so bright and colorful. The shining lights tempted Shephard to gaze at them filled with awe, as a little child would. It was then that Shephard realized just that, he was being childish, so he shook his head gently and flopped back on the bed. The Corporal tried to stretch his arms out, but came to the horrible realization that he was tightly wrapped up in a white jacket, a strait jacket. Shephard lost control, and burst out questions to no one.
“Where am I? What’s going on? Damn it! Why am I here?”
Then memories came flooding back. He remembered Black Mesa, Gordon Freeman, that strange alien world, and the man in the blue suit. That was it! Shephard shot up from the bed. The strange man told Shephard that he would be safe, in a place where no harm could come to him, and he could do no harm to anyone else. Shephard lost control once more.
“Is this what you meant you sick bastard? You sent me to a freaking psycho ward?”

The man began to scream, a bloodcurdling scream of anger and pain, releasing all of his rage into one long yell. He didn’t cease until his throat ran dry, and he was left panting and wheezing for air. Hearing the nightmarish moan, a scrawny ward attendant rushed over to the solitary confinement cell labeled “A. Shephard”. The weak man pressed a small button hooked up to a metallic speaker, and asked the marine what was wrong, and with that, Shephard became furious.
“What do you mean what’s wrong? I’m locked up in a tiny confinement cell! How did I get here? What did I do to get here?”
“Oh Corporal, you silly man!” The attendant chuckled, as if Adrian was the stupidest man he had ever met. “You don’t remember? You were found alone in a crashed Osprey helicopter in the New Mexico desert. You said you were part of a combat operation called the ‘Hazardous Environment Combat Unit,’ but all we found out was that your name was Adrian Shephard and you killed innocent scientists and security personnel and the Black Mesa Research Facility, and then nuked the place. After that, you fell into a coma, and, well, Aperture Science was fascinated with your story, and brought you here for study.”
“A coma,” the Corporal sat speechless for a few moments, but then continued, “when was I in a coma?”
“Well,” responded the attendant, “we found you almost exactly one decade ago.”
“A decade? I’ve been in some research lab for 10 YEARS? How the hell do I get out of here?”
“Well, now that you mention it, Aperture Science has been working on a little project with portals. If you participate in testing and prove yourself sane, you may as well be released back into the outside world. If you were indeed a Corporal, you may be a worthy test subject. Come with me.”
The attendant stepped into the chamber, and had Adrian stand up. He un-strapped the constraints on Shephard’s body, revealing to the military leader that his PCV vest and recon uniform had been removed and replaced with a blue jumpsuit. With a confused look stuck on his face, Shephard was led into a small room with a large sign inside of it. The sign read:
‘Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device Briefings’
Still confused, Adrian was told to take a seat on the hard, metal floor and watch the video he was to be presented with quietly until the attendant returned.
Shephard did just that, and watched the video in awe. A gentle, robotic voice was telling him that he would be facing insurmountable obstacles and would be dealt massive amounts of pain. What astonished the H.E.C.U. marine the most was that a science lab would deal such disgusting challenges to human beings!
Before he could contemplate the video in its whole, the attendant returned with a scientist, whom was holding a bulky, white mechanism. Adrian recognized the machine from the briefing tape; this was the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. The man approached Shephard and held out the odd device. Reluctantly, Adrian took the contraption into his hands and tried to get used to its bulky design. Once comfortable handling the piece of technology, the Corporal looked up and glared at the scientist.
“How do you expect me to survive this?”
The scientist only laughed a hearty, taunting laugh.
“Remember our motto, Mr. Shephard. Remember our motto.”
The scientist’s smile turned into an evil smirk. The words he spoke dripped from his lips like blood off of a bullet wound:
“There’s a hole in the sky, through which things can fly.”
 
Adrian Shepard isn't in Portal. He doesn't have a bald patch. He's 22 for heavens sake.
But apart from that its very good. :thumbs:
 
lets just pretend that he is in portal and he doesn't have a bald patch
 
Some cannon things:
The only thing Adrian heard of Freeman was
"Maybe we'll get a shot at Freeman on the way out"

On the actual style the guy coming up and explaining everything is a weak story-telling method.

Keep going though, this may be very good :thumbs:
 
It's pretty good, you should definitely continue, although I don't think the character in Portal is going to be Shepard.
 
Some cannon things:
The only thing Adrian heard of Freeman was
"Maybe we'll get a shot at Freeman on the way out"

On the actual style the guy coming up and explaining everything is a weak story-telling method.

Keep going though, this may be very good :thumbs:

Hm? No, I am pretty sure they talk about him a bit in opfor, you even see him once right as he teleports to xen.
 
Hm? No, I am pretty sure they talk about him a bit in opfor, you even see him once right as he teleports to xen.
He hears the name Freeman twice
"Forget about Freeman"
"Maybe we'll get a shot at Freeman on the way out"
And he gets a glance of him from behind in the Lambda core. But he never ever gets told who the hell Freeman or anything about him.
 
According to a slip of the tongue by one of the lead designers which IMO isn't much to go on.
 
Nice work, make spaces between your paragraphs, it makes long stories easier to read (not this time, later, when it gets longer)
 
Hey, Medic, you're still around!
 
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