The Cure for Insomnia

VirusType2

VirusType2

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Millions of people suffer from an inability to fall asleep. It's called insomnia.

Insomnia disrupts schedules and can lower your immune system considerably. Also, I can tell you first hand, you can be a real dick.

Well, I'm here to tell you I have discovered a way to rid yourself of it, once and for all. Simply watch a health video covering insomnia!

It just works. Not only does it give you on-the-fly tips, but it's totally boring and horribly produced, with sound coming out of only one speaker.
Guaranteed to increase your penis size.

Watch one of these videos at bed time, and prepare to be unconscious.


Protip: Get into a bed.
 
Just smoke massive cones.

Or watch those videos. :eek:
 
Seriously tried it? Lol, told you.

Well the video I got from the library is like 30 minutes.

You'll never make it.
 
Yea, marijuana cures this, I know.

I get insomnia often, and.. yea.
 
I can't sleep. :(

I'm hungry. I felt something crawling on my leg and I murdered a leg hair. Something bit my elbow.

I can't relax anymore, ever. I think this place is getting to me. I'm addicted and ... you guys aren't even here, so it's like, I'm waiting for someone to say something.

So do you guys have show that always puts you to sleep without fail? The Simpsons and South Park sometimes do for me.
 
South Park tends to work pretty well for me. Especially when mixed with beer or cold medicine.
 
I usually can't sleep because I want to hump something
 
Qonfused - she had a creeeepy voice. but wow that seems like it would feel incredible. I need a massage. right now.

Krynn - I've never been a big fan of the piano until now. That was absolutely beautiful. Thanks
 
can't sleep still??
world-of-warcraft-logo.jpg

I love this game and If i can't sleep I'll log on for hours. Also any LCD or TV screen will keep your brain active.
you should do this to go to bed when you want (it works for me)
1) stop drinking caffeine 10-12 hrs before bed
2) go to bed at the same time
3) stop playing games 1 hr before bed
4) fap
5) read
6) meditate/pray/close your eyes while sitting in a normal position

I haven't had a nightmare in ages and i usually get 6-8 hrs now
 
Everybody knows the cure for insomnia is ingesting a couple fat rails of meth.
 
The cure for insomnia is not trying to sleep, for me. If I try to sleep, I won't. Stay up until you're an absolute wreck. It also helps to get exercise / eat properly etc.
 
Have a hot bath/shower at least one hour before bed.

Eat a massive turkey dinner at least one hour before bed.

Hey presto.
 
I often can't sleep if I haven't had at least 100 grams of chocolate and 2 cans of energy drink in the hour before I go to bed.
 
I drink Nyquil every night. It works.
 
Minister said:
Eat a massive turkey dinner at least one hour before bed.
Click to expand...

It's not Turkey, but the massive food intake of Thanksgiving that makes you sleepy. Also eating before you sleep is a terrible idea. Not only could it make you have nightmares, but it could lead to GERD.
 
I hear sleeping pills are painless.

Youll never have insomnia again.

On...the account that you'd be dead...still, its a solution right?
 
AtomicSpark said:
It's not Turkey, but the massive food intake of Thanksgiving that makes you sleepy. Also eating before you sleep is a terrible idea. Not only could it make you have nightmares, but it could lead to GERD.
Click to expand...

I can't sleep without having had a lot of chocolate and a few energy drinks. It's not because I'm addicted, but before I started eating/drinking loads of chocolate+energy drinks I had sleeping problems and they helped me solving them, I've never had any nightmares because of it.

Will I die within 6 months?
 
Dinnesch said:
I can't sleep without having had a lot of chocolate and a few energy drinks.
Click to expand...

Ok.



That's like saying I can't sleep unless there is a trumpet blast in my ear. That's a little peculiar, you know.
 
speaking of insomnia, i haven't been to bed yet (almost 7am)

I can't really masturbate because my gf is in bed behind me and she hates it when i try to rape her.

maybe i'll try again :)
 
I created my own insomnia cure last week out of a mixture of cunning & desperation. The 'cure' consisting of 2 paracetomol tablets (help reduce kidney function and cause tiredness), 50mg of some weird shit I cant remember (had painkilling, antidepressant and sedative properties) and several antihistimine tablets (with sedative properties). All swallowed with a glass of milk, then followed with a healthy dose of tetrahydrocannabinol.

Needless to say, I slept with ease for approximately 10 hours.
 
neptuneuk said:
I created my own insomnia cure last week out of a mixture of cunning desperation. The 'cure' consisting of 2 paracetomol tablets (help reduce kidney function and cause tiredness), 50mg of some weird shit I cant remember (had painkilling, antidepressant and sedative properties) and several antihistimine tablets (with sedative properties). All swallowed with a glass of milk, then followed with a healthy dose of tetrahydrocannabinol.

Needless to say, I slept with ease for approximately 10 hours.
Click to expand...
: |
youre doing it wrong.
just smoke more weed instead of popping pills.

-dodo

edit:
Tyguy said:
speaking of insomnia, i haven't been to bed yet (almost 7am)

I can't really masturbate because my gf is in bed behind me and she hates it when i try to rape her.

maybe i'll try again :)
Click to expand...
and how is masturbating rape?
 
neptuneuk said:
I created my own insomnia cure last week out of a mixture of cunning desperation. The 'cure' consisting of 2 paracetomol tablets (help reduce kidney function and cause tiredness), 50mg of some weird shit I cant remember (had painkilling, antidepressant and sedative properties) and several antihistimine tablets (with sedative properties). All swallowed with a glass of milk, then followed with a healthy dose of tetrahydrocannabinol.

Needless to say, I slept with ease for approximately 10 hours.
Click to expand...

the cure has been found. :thumbs:
 
VirusType2 said:
Milo? What's that?
Click to expand...

Milo_Chocolate_Energy_Drink_400g.jpg


Chocolate Energy Drinkish thingy, Works like Hot Chocolate, pretty much like Horlicks and those powder with hot water w or w/o milk. Milo is a tastier version of Ovaltine :p

Good to make one sleep soundly, sometimes coffee helps me too.
 
Sounds pretty good.

I love my memory foam pillow. I sometimes can't sleep without it.

So , OK, I've been wanting one for about 10 years - and it was on sale. I got a memory foam mattress topper today.

It's pretty good at 3" and I just finished putting it on the bed. I tried it out and it is ****ing fantastic. I laid on my side and it just absorbed the leg I was laying on, keeping my spine straight. I put it on top of some other foam mattress toppers I've been using, so this is pretty nice. So comfortable. :D

That should help me sleep.

And; I got the premium allergen barrier pillow covers for all my pillows. They block pollen, mites, all kinds of stuff, and they are breathable material so they don't get hot.


Also, last night I got an Ion and UV and Hepa air filter. Shit is like a clean breeze. Been wanting that for a long time too. I might return this one and get a better one, but I'm checking it out. Seems to really help me breathe and relax. I was like always in a panic trying to breathe right. it was so stifling in here. :)

So that takes care of the pollen and bad air quality issue that's been bothering me lately.

And I got a huge microfiber body pillow last night, cuz I like to sleep on my side.

So, I'm all set. I'm really looking forward to going to bed!
 
Azner said:
Milo_Chocolate_Energy_Drink_400g.jpg


Chocolate Energy Drinkish thingy, Works like Hot Chocolate, pretty much like Horlicks and those powder with hot water w or w/o milk. Milo is a tastier version of Ovaltine :p

Good to make one sleep soundly, sometimes coffee helps me too.
Click to expand...

It's malted barley!
 
Doesn't that Milo stuff not dissolve into liquid readily?

Kind of like mixing hot cocoa powder into cold milk.
 
Yeah, it usually sits at the top of the milk in big, awesome, wet chunks.

Eat that shit with a spoon, foo'
 
Mmm...

Then you get to the bottom of the cup and fish out the chunks still at the bottom...

Tasty.
 
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