The Famed Return of HL2 jokes

[PLas]

**** HL2 jokes

Knock Knock
"Who's there?"
...
"Who is it?"
...
"Who tf is it god damn it!!!"
...




.................
pls feel fee to post all your other lame HL2 jokes here.

 

[marksmanHL2 :)]

erm...........




K!!!!!.............:x



cant think of any yet.




EDIT: omg, I'm now a Hydra. cool! :afro: :cheers:

 

[JunkieXL]

O_O

 

[MoJo|Night]

Apologies in advance, i just made this up.

Three men called Gordon walk into a pub, one in a business suit, one in a kilt and the other in a large orange armoured iinteliigent suit.

The bar says "Who are you?"

They all reply "Gordon"

The bar man says to the man in the suit "ok you are Gordon 1", he then points to the man in the kilt and says you are "Gordon 2". He then points to the Gordon in the large orange outfit and says "You are gordon 3"

The third Gordon replies "No I am not a number, I am a Freeman"

 

[marksmanHL2 :)]

my god, that wasnt actualy that bad a joke, lol



keep it up mate!

 

[MoJo|Night]

MoJo|Night - comedy genius.....nah don't think so. I'll stick to Jizz Mopping for a living.

 

[DaLys]

How about a classic?
"ck me" :E

 

[Feath]

Gordon Freeman walks into a Bar.

Ow.

 

[Typhon]

make....it....stop...

 

[MoJo|Night]

Stop just using old jokes and changing the names, that's cheating.

 

[A2597]

Why did the headcrab cross the road?

A:
Because this side has a crowbar factory.

 

[Zeus]

I heart spam.

 

[MoJo|Night]

It's not spam, it's cabin fever.

 

[PLas]

City17 citizens are warned to take care with who they choose to fraternize with. City officials have been quoted saying that there is a bad case of ‘head crabs’ going around.

 

[Ro@cH]

Hehe that's a nice one PLas. I drew up a pic for the "New HL media" thread a few weeks ago, I think it's humorous enough for this thread:

 

[Ro@cH]

A combine soldier walks into a bar.
The bar tender sees him and aks: Hey man, why the long face?

 

[PLas]

Thats one tender barman.

 

[PLas]

Q: What do you get if you combine an ant with a lion?
A: An alien.

Q: What do you get when you combine a head with crab?
A: Dinner.

& ...
Q: What do you get when you combine Dr Kleiner with a man-hack?
A: Gene Hackman

 

[Marauder]

lol at the third one, plas. And I liked the "I am not a number, I am Freeman" one. Reminded me of Braveheart, with a Half-Life twist

 

[Ro@cH]

(before you read this, think back of that Simpsons episode where a carbon rod was used to seal off the defective shuttle door)

The crisis at Black Mesa was averted! All thanks to...this inanimate crowbar!!!
**insert footage of a crowbar in the back-seat of a convertable, slowly driving through a ticker-tape parade, with thousands of onlookers cheering**

 

[PLas]

NEW SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH
Dr Kleiners glasses enable him to see in 4 dimensions.

.........................................................
(u might have to think about it for a bit
not too long mind you. It's shitty remember )

 

[Interl@ce]

Gordon walks into a bar. Barney is there.
Five minutes later gordon walks out of the bar with a bloody crowbar, mumbling: "....you owed me a beer"

 

[Interl@ce]

What does the sophisticated AI of a combine soldier do when facing 10 zombies, 5 headcrabs, and Gordon Freeman?



Answer: Try to point at them all.

 

[figge]

What happens if you get drunk in your HEV?

Does it say:

Critical Drukness Detected or something?

no joke, just a rant

 

[Chucking Ficken]

Heres a good joke:





Vivendi universal's spokesperson!!!

arf

 

[Feath]

Gordon, Alyx and the G-man walk into a bar.

Ow.

 

[BloodyL]

Originally posted by Chucking Ficken
Heres a good joke:





Vivendi universal's spokesperson!!!

arf

:bounce: :cheers:

 

[Guest]

heres a good one

half-life 2 will suck

 

[Chicky]

is that sad that i cracked up reading some of these

 

[Guest]

yes its sad, kill yourself now you have no reason to be alive

 

[Ro@cH]

Originally posted by Interl@ce
What does the sophisticated AI of a combine soldier do when facing 10 zombies, 5 headcrabs, and Gordon Freeman?



Answer: Try to point at them all.

ROFL Both good ones, Interl@ce! Gah I need more beer before I can think of any jokes. Although that might affect the quality of the jokes...dilemma!

 

[Interl@ce]

Q: Why doesn't gordon speak?
A: Because..*Interl@ce get's hit with a crowbar on his head before he could finish his answer*

 

[lubb]

What is the difference between HL2 and a pancake?





Pancake isn't a game.

 

[Hyped]

Here's one.

Who never delivers on a release date?

VALVE!


ahhaha, so funny

 

[Interl@ce]

Q: What happens when gordon farts in his HEV?
A: *DANGER!* BIO-HARZARDOUS ENVIRONMENTAL CONDITIONS DETECTED! *BEEP BEEP*

 

[Mr.Magnetichead]

Originally posted by MoJo|Night
Apologies in advance, i just made this up.

Three men called Gordon walk into a pub, one in a business suit, one in a kilt and the other in a large orange armoured iinteliigent suit.

The bar says "Who are you?"

They all reply "Gordon"

The bar man says to the man in the suit "ok you are Gordon 1", he then points to the man in the kilt and says you are "Gordon 2". He then points to the Gordon in the large orange outfit and says "You are gordon 3"

The third Gordon replies "No I am not a number, I am a Freeman"

Hahahaha, you get extra points for referancing The Prisoner

 

[Ro@cH]

Q:Why did Nihilanth invade earth?
A:He was in desperate need of a diaper-change.

 

[Okt]

Half Life 2 being release remotly close to the date set by VALVE!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...........


ok i am sorry, i will go kill myself now.;(




















jk, great one eh??? ...eh???.... anyone, you guys...?:x

 

[vitale]

Gordon, G-Man, Barney and Alyx starting talking about who they look like:
G-Man: Freeman, you look alot like Charlie Sheen

Gordon: -sighs-

Barney: Well G-Man, you look like Christoper Walkins

Alyx: Who do I look like?

Everyone Else(cept Gordon ;x): An accident. Ever take a look at your "dad" ?
zing ;x

 

[synth]

Here's a good one:

Half-Life 2 will not be delayed.