The Famed Return of HL2 jokes

What happens if Gordon get's a Hardon in that suit of his?
Is the suit equipped with some kind of pocket or something? :p
 
Yeah it has an inflatable crotch mechanism!

*BEEP BEEP!!!!* *WARNING!!!!* *REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN ENLARGING!*
 
Originally posted by Interl@ce
Yeah it has an inflatable crotch mechanism!

*BEEP BEEP!!!!* *WARNING!!!!* *REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN ENLARGING!*
Click to expand...

Be afraid.
 
Q: What does a strider do when he gets an itch on his foot?
A: He impales somebody.
 
Q: What do you get when you cross gordon, a strider, a headcrab, and a combine?

A: How the hell should I know.
 
Barney walks in a Bar.
Barman: What do you want? A beer?
Barney: You got it.
Barman: Why one?
Barney: I only take so much and no more.
Barman: But if you buy 5 beers, you have to pay only for 4.9 beers!
Barney: Hey step off, buddy!


Sorry but im not in my funny period : P
 
why are stryders so angry?

Well if you had gaint wads of energy shooting out of your dangly bits, you would be pissed too.
 
You know what's funny?

Everyone in this forum is so sick and tired of waiting for new media and all those delay threads, that they're not in the mood for jokes.

PS: i am :p


Barney and the professor are playing hide and seek. Barney is counting down, and the professor is hiding.

Professor: "Fine, You won't even know i'm here"
Barney: "20... 19...."
Professor: "The administrator is very concerned that we get a conclusive analysis of what's happening here today, barney!"
Barney: "13...12..."
Professor: "....i don't suppose you'd reconsider?"
A few seconds pass....
Barney: "2...1... READY OR N... What the...?"
Professor: "I REFUSE TO GO ANOTHER STEP!" (AI problems :p)
Barney: "Ah hell, let's play tag, if you catch me later i'll buy ya a beer"

(sorry if it wasn't very funny, i'm sleepy)
 
Gordon and Alyx are getting it on in bed:

Gordon: "...."
Alyx: "Gordon?! Snap out of it! you're staring at me again!"
*Gordon grins* =)
Alyx: "This isn't working! We should've listened to my father and done it his way!!"
Gordon: ".... :("
 
Originally posted by Interl@ce
Gordon and Alyx are getting it on in bed:

Gordon: "...."
Alyx: "Gordon?! Snap out of it! you're staring at me again!"
*Gordon grins* =)
Alyx: "This isn't working! We should've listened to my father and done it his way!!"
Gordon: ".... :("
Click to expand...


rofl :cheers:
 
Another person posted this weeks ago in the off-topic forum but here it goes.

Q: IS Half-Life 2 REALLY being made?

A: Hell no! It's a mod for Doom 3!
 
Q: Why did the strider cross the road?
A: To blow a 30 story skyscraper away with it's huge energy-light-deforming-blast-thingy!!!
 
lol at Interl@ce..

Ok here's mine (not original in the least, but here goes).

Q: Why did the City-17 militia person cross the road

A: To get impaled by the strider waiting on the other side because he was so depressed that HL 2 was delayed...
 
(First read my post half-way the 4th page)


Chatlog with alyx:

Alyx: you're so cute! :)
Interl@ce: You're kind of a cutey yourself ;)
Alyx: you make me laugh, stop it! :D
Interl@ce: Hey i don't mean to barge in on your personal life, but since we know eachother so well i thought i'd bring it up... i heard gordon isn't very good in bed, is that true?
Alyx: well, i don't know if i should discuss this with you.
Interl@ce: You can tell me anything, cross my heart.
Alyx: ok, i guess i can trust you. it's true :( he's so.... QUIET! :'( and he's just awful in bed, he won't take that HEV suit off. Not that he can help it, it's stuck but... still. And even when we feel like it's starting to go the right way, he just isn't capable enough.
Interl@ce: Oh I feel so sorry for you :( it must be awful for you.
Alyx: well.... gordon doesn't know the things i can do with a manipulator! ;)
Interl@ce: :| really? jeez you really made me curious!
Alyx: Ok here's what i always do when he's out chasing striders and zombies and things:

[END OF CHAT LOG] ;)


To Be Continued
 
oh




dear




god






I come bk to this thread to this!
:(



























jk, its quite funny To be honest. But for the wrong reasons :p
 
Q: What do you get when you cross with Dr Kleiner?
A: Smaller
(Heb je en hint nodig?)


AND


Valve has just released news that they have vastly improved the combine soldiers AI. If the soldiers see someone that looks suspicious running away from them and out of sight, they will now attempt to perform a cavity search.
 
Originally posted by PLas
Q: What do you get when you cross with Dr Kleiner?
A: Smaller.
Click to expand...

hehe... nice dutch/german joke :D if only those damn americans understood ;) (j/k i love america)
 
Q: How come alyx smiles so big at the beginning of the Kleiners lab level?
A: She's got a naughty mini-manipulator in her trousers.
(i don't believe the 'higher set emotional expressoins engine' story ;))
 
So... when do we get to see a porn mod for Halflife 2?


This pic make me feel dirty :dork:
 

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lmao, funny ass pic there figge. You plp watch, someone will make a HL2 pr0n mod.



...and then everyone will DL it.:naughty: ;)
 
PLas, excellent joke with the kleiner/smaller :) Great to see someone who's name means urine in dutch still likes the language. :p Well actually plas means puddle (you know the things that are in the streets when it rains). But I'm sure you guys understand the connection.

PLas, hoe goed spreek je Nederlands? Je bent oorspronkelijk toch Australiër?
 
G-Men: "I can offer you a battle you can not win..."

Gordon (in thought): "yeah, i know how it is to fix a broken pipe without turning off the water first..."
 
Alyx, Gordon, Gabe Newell and The G-Man are riding in a train. Gordon talks(?) and says, "In Black Mesa, there are crates everywhere... we have so many, we can easily afford to lose a few." And with that, Gordon throws several crates out the window of the moving train.

Alyx turns to the others and says, "In City 17 there's a combine on every corner, and a scientist in every warehouse... we have so many we can always afford to get rid of a few." And with that Alyx throws a scientist out the window of the moving train.

The G-man smiles and looks at Gordon and the rest. "On Xen, we have so many marines we don't mind losing the occasional soldier!" And with that, he throws Adrian Sheppard out the window of the moving train.

Then Gabe Newell speaks, and he says, "In Half-Life we have so many hax0rs we can easily get rid of several at a time without worry about a shortage." And with that, Gabe throws 42 Counter-Strike AWPers out the window of the moving train.

I'm sure you've heard similair jokes.
 
You never said there was 42 haxorz, Adrian, or Scientists were on that train...
 
Q: Why did the strider kill the freedom fighter?

A: Because if you were THIS ugly, and smart enough to know it, you'd feel like killing something too.
 
Originally posted by figge
So... when do we get to see a porn mod for Halflife 2?


This pic make me feel dirty :dork:
Click to expand...

OMFG!!!! ITS DISGUSTING!!!! GET IT AWAY!!!

;(
 
A zombie and a headcrab walk into a bar.

They both die. Gordon Freeman wins. :D
 
Gordon looking back on his experience in Black Mesa:
"man those aliens made me feel as welcome as a fart in a hazard suit!"
 
Gordon felt awkward seeing the doctor about his headcrab problem
 
Originally posted by alb1221
OMFG!!!! ITS DISGUSTING!!!! GET IT AWAY!!!

;(
Click to expand...


I can give you hot love between the g-man and kleiner if u want :cheese:
 
Q. What would you call Gordon Freeman if he was a freedom fighter who believed his aims could only be achieved through bloody violence?



A. Freedom Goreman.



P.S. : Sorry ... :cheese:
 
Q: What is the name of the G-man's dog?

A: G-Spot.


Q: Why can't Gordon's suit make him fly?

A: Because it's too HEVy.


That's all I got.
 
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