The Things You Say: Quotable Quotes

[Kula Meenur]

Heya Hl2.net! Thought it'll be time for another mandatory quote thread

Remember any funny things that just make ya giggle like an eight year-old girl? Throw em in!

Let's start this bitch off shall we?

Barring all language complexities, all Muslim individuals are terrorists. I know this because I frequently watch Fox News.

Held is police slang for murdered with a baton.

I'm going to take my right hand out for a night on the town: no expense spared. I've bought it a raunchy lace glove and everything.

It's already tomorrow in Australia, if the world ended they'd be the first to know.

Jokes are supposed to be funny. I could post "in before CptStern's rant about the evil American empire" in every other thread in the politics section, but I don't because it isn't funny.

It's rai ning, it's pouring the old man is sno-WAKE UP YOU OLD **** I HAVE SCHOOL GOD DAMMIT.

You're all ****ing bastards. I hate you all.

Spoiler

I wasn't kidding. I hate you.

Spoiler

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH <3

Oh man, oh man dude....dude....DUDE, bro. Seriously OMG LOL :E haheh this is gonna.... oh god this is beautiful. LMAO holy...haha I can't believe I did this man but dude there was this one time when....damn....mmm, yes LOL oh dude wait'll you hear this man. Like seriously, get your inhaler ready or something ROFL so yeah that time back in 2006 me and :E....oh man LOL this is too much, anyway....so yeah, me and....haheh...um....I got nothing

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PESH HAS A DISEASE OH GOD ROFL HOLY BALLS IN A SHITDICK GOD DAMN ****ING MONKEYS SLINGING SHIT ON A KITTEN IN A RABBIT'S HOME OF THE BRAVE AND THE LAND OF THE LOL PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS WAT STOP THAT HAHAHAHA BAAAAAAAAAAALLS IN MY PERIOD TAMPONS DON'T GO WELL IN CAKES UNLESS BABY BLOOD SHITS THEIR EYEBALLS OUT AND I WILL WEAR THEM ON MY FACE.



















Penis.

Here, you're an outcast if you don't have a SECOND foreskin.

By which I of course mean a sheep's vagina.

My current GF is 82. I have a fetish for going on first dates and because she has Alzheimer's, I can have all the first dates I want. The poopbag she has to carry with her is a downside though.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeicame

I'd like to cause your Chernobyl reactor to go into meltdown if you catch my drift.

I've hardly ever seen a non-circumscribed penis, and I've seen A LOT OF PENISES.





wut.

I watched a LOT OF PORN.

wut.

Girl on guy.


wut.

Several men standing naked in someone's kitchen.
There is always rape involved in that kind of thing.
Good thing you weren't in there.

Hold her hand.

Don't let go. Ever.

If she screams, silence her with your other hand.

Koola Mena:

Much more than an earthquake.

If you have to try and tolerate a newbie, don't bother talking to them. Just walk away and piss off.

its usually a mix between unneeded dick face and sarcasm. :|

Where are all the tasteless jokes? When did hl2.net become seriouslife2.net?

Slaughter the fat calf for the feast!
*Pulls out gun on Razaair*

I love these forums. They're so full of fAIL.

WHERE THE **** HAVE YOU BEEN YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE BEEN WORRIED ****ING SICK ABOUT YOU WHERE WERE YOU YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED OR RAPED OR BEATEN OR DRUGGED OR RAPED OR DRUGGED OR BEATEN OR BEATEN OR DRUGGED OR RAPED OR DEAD OR A STRIPPER OR SELLING CRACK ON THE STREETS OF SOUTH DETROIT OR YOU COULD HAVE TAKEN THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHERE I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EVER LEAVE US LIKE THAT AGAIN I WILL SHOVE A KITTEN UP A GORILLA'S ASS AND SEND HIM OFF TO LOOK FOR YOU BECAUSE THAT IS YOUR UNCLE'S JOB TO LOOK FOR YOU AND PANDAS EAT GIRAFFES.




Missed yooooooooooooooooooooooou babe.

I lol'd.

I wish I knew what this thread was about.

I wish I didn't get infractioned for this post.

Oh and women are bitches because thats how their hormones work. The only thing blokes can do is recognise the oncomming crimson beast and stay out her way.

Excuse me while I wipe my semen off the thread.

Not even a wall can stand in the way of love.
















I don't have to f*cking entertain you people.

I almost lol'd but then my gag reflex kicked in and I threw up all over Viperidae's cock.

You bastard.

**** off, twat-face, I wouldn't even sell you back your mother.

You could say there is JB in my ass, and I'd go digging. Probably wouldn't stop until either I reached my stomach, or someone told me they were JKing.

I always laugh to myself when I think about the face of the mod that has to sort through all this shit.

:| "Aw, what the ****."

I have two penises, I was sexing a swedish exhange student with the other one.

The toilet was on the ceiling.

**** you.

I just wanna tousle your hair and put my dick in your mouth.

iRobot - No rating needed. This film is so straightforward it makes me want to cut myself. Although Will Smith makes me lol...

"Ass...hole!"

You bitches better stop this or so help me I'll infraction the lot of you.

You are my hero.

Mad as a heck hatter. And a mean streak like the inside of a diarrhoetic's underwear.

Ah. I thought I didn't recognise that song title. Steal This Album is the only one we haven't got. I think it would be cool to actually try to steal the album but, meh, it probably wouldn't be worth jail.

I read that as "**** mah lady"

I shall now go wash my brain.

The reason i have these recorded is because i have a huge quote fetish which i fap everyday of every month of every year.

Srsly, i put funny ones in my sig lol

 

[Cormeh]

Beerdude's sig.

/thread

 

[Rizzo]

Yeah... But you are probably one of few members who has this fetish... So i guess you'll be soul contributor. I will read it with pleasure thou.

 

[Jintor]

Soul Contributor? I call shotgun.

 

[Kula Meenur]

Beerdude's sig.

Why was ikerous bant? He sprouted some really insane shit

Yeah... But you are probably one of few members who has this fetish... So i guess you'll be soul contributor. I will read it with pleasure thou.

Contribute in pleasure as well, swine!

 

[Rizzo]

Soul Contributor? I call shotgun.

hehe, remember that time when Jintor called shotgun? I was confused at first, I have to admit.

Still am.

Edit: I did!

 

[Kula Meenur]

Cheeeeeeeeee-keeeeeeeey

 

[Solaris]

RJMC - I wilt pay every wimens whit rape dollars

 

[highlander]

Not one of me.






</3 I'm going too cause another Chernobyl.

 

[Druckles]

Spoiler

I ain't going to quote all 8,170 am I?

Plus most Mod quotes.

 

[Kula Meenur]

Not one of me.






</3 I'm going too cause another Chernobyl.

/runs-like-****



KA cracked me up here lol looool

 

[Llama]

None of me =[

**** you guys, i'll just sit here with my delicious JB that Cyberpitz can't get to because there's an ocean in the way.

 

[Beerdude26]

Beerdude's sig.

/thread

Damn right

Although I hit the signature limit ages ago, otherwise it'd have been filled with even more gems

To be a good mod just ban everyone from the forum and use the web space to host pictures of your cat

genius

Take out your penis and slap her eyeball with it. That way next time she gives you lip or acts unapprovingly, you just give her the look and she knows "oh, that's the cock to the eye look, I better not **** around". Then she'll give you head and take it like a champ.

'Scuse me, I'm drunk.

Most people


----------------------------------------------------not so thin red line

























Absinthe





This is the issue imo

 

[Kula Meenur]

Not one of me.

None of me =[

**** you guys, i'll just sit here with my delicious JB that Cyberpitz can't get to because there's an ocean in the way.

Knowing you blokes somethin'll defs come up lol

 

[Emporius]

Originally Posted by Geogaddi
My gf's birth control takes effect the same day that GTAIV comes out. God hates me.

Meh, always makes me chuckle

 

[highlander]

Knowing you blokes somethin'll defs come up lol

Damn straight.

I'll pop something out one day.

 

[Jintor]

I almost never get quoted. I can only assume this is because I do not get high/drunk on a regular basis.

 

[MJ12]

None by me? Pshh! You guys suck, I 've been in someone's sig at least five times.

I hat you guys, hat all of you. *crys*

 

[Cormeh]

I almost never get quoted. I can only assume this is because I do not get high/drunk on a regular basis.

You're in my sig.

 

[Jintor]

ONLY BECAUSE IT'S PERSONAL CORMEH

IT'S PEEEERRRRRRSSSSSONNNNNAAAAAAAAAL

cruisecontrol

 

[Druckles]

I was actually surprised I had quotes in there.

But then I saw them and I was not surprised. :|

 

[Kula Meenur]

NO WANNA CUDDLE WIT' ZOMBIEEE??

Hehe...


...KILL IT WITH FIRE!

 

[MJ12]

Yay! I'm in! <3

 

[Slug Advisor]

Ooh, do me, do me!

 

[Naph]

Ooh, do me, do me!

And then I was thinking that you would post quotes of yourself.

 

[Raziaar]

I'm not really good at remembering peoples quotes, so I can't really contribute to this thread much unfortunately, but I will say that I've seen the silly things I've said featured in over two dozen signatures over the years. It always amuses me when I see it happen again.

 

[Que-Ever]

And most of those are just within the last week or so, think of all the years and years of archived quotes just waiting to be accessed and manhandled.

 

[Kula Meenur]

*assplodes from fatal spontaneous excitement*

 

[Druckles]

I think Krynn's quote needs quoting for some truth at this point.

 

[Kula Meenur]

Hehe indeed

 

[CyberPitz]

*Points to my sig*

 

[Slug Advisor]

And then I was thinking that you would post quotes of yourself.

Was going for an innuendo there.

 

[Druckles]

Lots of people love Cyberpitz.

 

[Iron Kat]

My sig. I can't remember which thread it was from, though.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

I love the KILL IT WITH FIRE one


Do one of me

 

[taviow]

I love the KILL IT WITH FIRE one


Do one of me

Thar. You are now officially quoted by me.

<3

 

[Krynn72]

I screencapped my favorite quote ever. With the avatar, its just so damn perfect.

 

[highlander]

Ooh, do me, do me!

*does advisor*


yeah, i bet you feel real special now, oh yeaaah....


.....OH SHIT I FORGOT THE LUBE!

 

[Azner]

Mein Sig.

 

[MJ12]

Originally Posted by Ennui, Sulkdodds, Munro, Pi, Shippi, Samon, Hectic Glenn
Don't tell anyone ZT, but you are our favorite.

Yeah, that was a good one...