Top Ten Reasons for HL2 Delay [Humor]

33. On in house test run of Steam allowing the beta testers to purchase Half-Life 2 simulated, one of the testers found he could avoid having to pay simply by changing "Half-Life 1" to "Half-Life 2" in a hex editor inside the cache file.
 
34. Gordon and Alyx eloped and are nowhere to be found.
 
35. Bill Gates bought the rights to Half Life 2 as he did with Halo, and now HL2 is going to be an Xbox exclusive and we won't see it on the PC til 2006.
 
36. Half Life 2 is done, but there is no multiplayer component yet and they waited for fan input before deciding on what to include.
 
37. To get even with the idiots that cracked the movies in the cache files, we all have to wait for Half Life 2 so they can rework Steam.
 
38. In order to sell more units, they decided to use Jenna Jameson instead of Alyx to appeal to the more mature audience.
 
39. Any sequel of Half-Life must contain atleast 1 delay using the fanboyism rule: Particle synthesis of the decay rate for the Half-Life of element radon emitted a polymer like substance relative to ionized carbon13 such that r(o2) by the square root of the hypotenues of a quadrilateral triangle is 3x(y-x) along the x axis parallel to a coplaner level whos tangent is divided into the matrixes rule when introduced to a catalyst at 205°kelvin with inverse average mass of pi(r2) within volumetric distance relative to point y of a concave polygonal datagram.
 
40. They decided to keep working on new versions of CS, and instead of adding new features that aren't buggy, they scrapped that idea and decided to add new maps instead. 50 of them, none of which anyone will ever play (they'll all just keep playing de_dust).

*EDIT* Changed to 40 for the sake of continuity :)
 
41. Since random bystanders in Half-Life 2 are so realistic and life like, Valves local DMV is pushing to force Valve to only let players who are licensed drivers be able to use the vehicles in Half-Life 2.
 
42. Gordon Freeman is on strike until Valve lets his voice be heard.
 
43. After the Black Out of 2003, Gabe finaly found out what that little red button does under his desk. The FBI have gotten leads to this, and have since haulted all production of Half-Life 2 until further notice.
 
44. VALVe is taking time to read a thread called "Top Ten Reasons for HL2 Delay [Humor]" and the game will be posponed untill the thread dies.
 
Originally posted by TAZ
35. Bill Gates bought the rights to Half Life 2 as he did with Halo, and now HL2 is going to be an Xbox exclusive and we won't see it on the PC til 2006.

Ugh. Don't even say that. That's my worst nightmare.
 
45. Half-Life 2 has been labelled a "terrorist threat" by the US government, due to its realisticly simulated violence. It is currently being held at an unknown location for an undisclosed amount of time.

46. Gordon was recently seen waiting in line for Duke Nukem Forever.
 
47. Some of the Valve crew designed a realistic woman in source, and now they won't leave their homes.

48. The playtesting at Valve has been more play and less testing.
 
49. Erik Johnson fired half the crew, stemming from his lack of "getting any at home from that behemoth"
 
50. On August 25th at 7:38pm EST the Steam content distribution system became self aware. Valve's minuteman missile defense systems were launched on id software's buildings, setting off a chain reaction of events that left Texas, a large crater.
 
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Originally posted by FAK3R
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  1. ... and your post is? STFU if you don't have anything to say.
 
Originally posted by TAZ
... and your post is? STFU if you don't have anything to say.
AHEM...
I wasn't trying to be funny just implying that this is not funny in any way, shape, or form.. as a matter of fact if you tend to find this funny you have toooooooooooooooo much free time
 
78. The guys at Valve are playing with the anti-gravity gun on Alyx's shirt.
 
Originally posted by Ti133700N
78. The guys at Valve are playing with the anti-gravity gun and Alyx's shirt.

:LOL: Now that's funny :LOL:

No matter what Fakar says.
 
Originally posted by Ti133700N
78. The guys at Valve are playing with the anti-gravity gun and Alyx's shirt.

:LOL: Now that's funny :LOL:

No matter what Fak3r says.
 
Originally posted by Ti133700N
78. The guys at Valve are playing with the anti-gravity gun and Alyx's shirt.

:LOL: Now that's funny :LOL:

No matter what Fak3r says.
 
Originally posted by Ti133700N
78. The guys at Valve are playing with the anti-gravity gun and Alyx's shirt.

:LOL: Now that's funny! :LOL:

No matter what Fak3r says. :D
 
Originally posted by rebb

13. Erik Johnsons wife went into labour.

you english people and your bad misspellings

its not labour, its labor

its not polise, its police

etc..
 
Im sorry but #5?? Come on! Valve isnt in California! And Arnold's gonna win any way! The devil told me so!

[then he punched me]
 
10. Gabe dropped his glasses, and when eating some cookies, he ate all the backups istead

9. There is no VALVe

8. VALVe got killed by their own creations

7. VALVe is preparing for Half-Life3, the ultimate gaming expericene, it will be like disneyland, they bought some part of texas and are building a city, but something went wrong, all the staff got killed by the striders

6. They are changing Gordon to a 25 year old blond guy with alot of muscles, just to see how Alyx AI will react on them...

5. The AI is to good, everyone knows that gordon kills everything and can't be stopped, so all the enemies are hidden, and VALVe is trying to find them

4. VU wants to test the game first, but the AI is so smart, that VU can't even complete the Hazardcourse

3. VALVe is f*cking with us, pretending there is a HL2...

2. ID, VALVe and 3drealms are merging, canceling all their project to build the ultimate game: Doom-Life: Forever

1. i don't know :(
 
Originally posted by d8cam
you english people and your bad misspellings

its not labour, its labor

its not polise, its police

etc..

Well mate, I hate to break it to you, but yes you are correct on the polise, anyone who spells it that way is just dumb, but as Canadian and English words have alot of french influences in them, so adding the u's is right. Not to mention that Americans colonized the United States FROM Britian and only spelled words differently to be different from England. So the original is correct.

Words like labour, colour, favourite, etc. are the correct way.

Are you going to go to Japan and tell them that its not "Konichiwa," but its spelled "Hello."


Oh, and

79. Gabe was confronted by the G-Man upon the completion of Half-Life 2 and givin the choice to sell the right of HL2 to the government or face a battle that he could "never win."
 
80. Haven't you heard ít's out yet? :| Some guy from some forum who knows some guy who works at some important company that deliver some stuff to some guys that know someone at Valve told me.
 
81. All the people on this forum have been so busy posting stuff that no-one noticed it's long past Sept 30th and everybody except them is playing hl2 :p
so the reason is.... there is no delay.
 
82. Gabe and his "crew" got hooked on the Codename: Gordon beta and have ceased development of hl2.
 
83. VALVe was so impressed by the Codename: Gordon screenshots they decided to switch to its engine and scrap source instead.
 
they tried and made a mod called strider wars and is still playing the mod and do not care about the source anymore


the source is source to all evil and US Goverment and the Pope have launched all source code towards the sun
 
85. When getting ready to ship they realized that they forgot to change out those place holder weapons and damage splatters from the original
86. There was so much demand for the game that all the Valve employee's killed themsevles in a cultist suicide ritual
87. They saw what kinda people play these games (i.e. Half-Quake Amen
88. Counter-Strike:CZ was considered a lost cause to they scraped it
89. They all became so stupid they tried to commit suicide by jumping out a window and they went up
90. Counter-Strike is so stupid that Gordon tried to use a AK-47 to shoot into the air and missed (I HATE CS, so much work to aim it takes fun away from it)
 
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