Top Ten Reasons for HL2 Delay [Humor]

91. Valve saw the Rally Racing mod for the HL1 engine and realized that they couldn't continue working on a project that could project such evil into the world.
 
quote:
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Originally posted by Adam
42. Gordon Freeman is on strike until Valve lets his voice be heard.
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ha ha ha. That's a really good one!

kinda of off topic but I think it'd be cool if valve did release half life 2 on september 30th but didn't tell anyone about it. It would be so fun to watch the internet buzz on the day of release and people are uploading screenshots of them playing but others have no clue what's going on because valve hasn't made any announcments.
 
92. Ok everybody, I've heard rumours that this isnt actually Half Life 2, it is actually half life 1, under a different name, and it has a few new enemies named 'biozeminades' which can make themselves look good, and you have to kill them with spray paint. Apparently, the half life 2 e3 video and trailer were made with frame by frame animation (so it is not the game) by Yago Zebadiah, who is from France. However, this half life 2(1) is still looking good, and i hope that the biozeminades are as good as people say they are
 
93. the 10 most dangerous terrororganisations worldwide have joined forces, seized the Valve Hq and are now demanding world leadership, "or else...". Gamers around the world are trying to push the UN to finally give in and stop being so childish.
 
94. In anticipation of HL2's release thousands upon thousands of counter-strike fans have to now finally play through HL1. The flocks of people now buying €15 copies of HL1 has led Valve to delay the release of HL2, so they can draw enough funds to make HL3.

95. Movie deals have lead to Christopher Walkin doing all the voice overs for the HL2 zombies.

96. DOG got frisky in the final stages of production.

97. They decided last week to add Amiga500 support

98. Trying to de-bug the game stripped the master copy of all enemies.

99. It's due to source's new implementation of the Laws of Physics. "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction". The more we wish for Sept 30th to arrive, the further it goes away from us.

100. VALve got stuck and had to call the plumbers

101. What do you mean it is delayed?!?
 
Originally posted by PLas

99. It's due to source's new implementation of the Laws of Physics. "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction". The more we wish for Sept 30th to arrive, the further it goes away from us.
Click to expand...

THE BEST... EVER! :cheers:
 
someone should take all of these and make "101 reasons why HL2 could be delayed" in a text file
 
I'm really starting to miss this thread.
Come on people. Lets act as though it's delayed
;)
 
102. Valve decided to take the day off, but were abducted by evil aliens upon leaving Valve HQ... Now the evil aliens are using Valve to help develop Doom III. Whoops, I mean %$^8... IV.
 
Originally posted by rebb
11. Several members of Valve's art-department got trapped during a dimensional Quake on Xen while taking Pictures for Photosourced Textures for HL2.
12. Gabe Newell got kidnapped by the Jackass Crew.
13. Erik Johnsons wife went into labour.
Click to expand...

lol @ #12. I cant see Gabe hanging with the JA crew. Gabe could do the party boy lol
 
1. Gordon Freeman is taking a break from Half-Life 2 and is looking for a date...
2. Alyx wants Gordon to know how she feels about him...
3. John Carmack is really Gabe Newell
4. Maybe Half-Life 2 isn't done yet...
 
HL2 still on for 30th September posted by Munro @ 3:23pm
Wednesday 27th August, 2003
Eurogamer has reported from today's ECTS an official confirmation of a September 30 release for HL2. Valve's Greg Coomber assured the public that Half-Life 2 will hit the shelves on September 30th as planned - despite the numerous rumours to the contrary.

Speaking at ECTS this morning, Coomber stated, "it'll be tight, but Half-Life 2 is still on for a September 30th ship". Sadly, Valve’s presentation at ECTS was the same as the one shown at E3 earlier this year. Look forward to a few more of the E3 videos coming through Steam soon.
___________________________________________________________

Im sure you all know this but just in case that is what is says in the news section....
 
103. Valve decided to destory all existence of the half-life2, in fear that everyone in the world would get no work done, human population would die out, and apes would rule the world. this would continue a vicious cycle, where apes get smart, recreated hl2, and.....
 
104. Valve spawned true AI, that easily learnt the human sense of irony and is currently harvesting electricity from valve employees.
 
Originally posted by Cyber$nake
HL2 still on for 30th September posted by Munro @ 3:23pm
Wednesday 27th August, 2003
Eurogamer has reported from today's ECTS an official confirmation of a September 30 release for HL2. Valve's Greg Coomber assured the public that Half-Life 2 will hit the shelves on September 30th as planned - despite the numerous rumours to the contrary.

Speaking at ECTS this morning, Coomber stated, "it'll be tight, but Half-Life 2 is still on for a September 30th ship". Sadly, Valve’s presentation at ECTS was the same as the one shown at E3 earlier this year. Look forward to a few more of the E3 videos coming through Steam soon.
___________________________________________________________

Im sure you all know this but just in case that is what is says in the news section....
Click to expand...

heh tight? was he thinking they could somehow work really hard and get 1 month of work done in 3?
 
If you can't laugh at HL2 delays (and the madness surrounding them) what can you do? :)


106. Someone at valve muttered 'When it's done' and from then on they've been getting o_0 looks, which take up time.
 
107. nintendo bought valve and is making it an n5 exclusive

now that it is delayed, this thread aint funny anymore....
 
108. Maybe they stop the release b'cause they want us to get a life and stop complaining about one game.

I know I like this game too but this is getting old, What are you people 14 years old :cheese: :cheese:
 
ofcourse not, they want money!! they dont care about our lives!!1
 
109.
Gabe had too many BigMacs while Valve were out having lunch and got stuck in
the door on his way out, trapping the entire development team inside
 
woah, mega de-ja-vu... then I realised this is an old thread!
 
Someone ate the code.......not looking at anyone though.......... ;)
 
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
Sent: -------------
To: [email protected]
Subject: The Truth

I cannot bend my HL2 beta play testing CD

-----Original Message-----
From: Gabe Newell
Sent: -------------
To: Woggy
Subject: RE: Truth

Do not try and bend the beta CD. That's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
The truth, you may ask?
There is no Half-Life 2.
Then you'll see that it is not Half-Life 2 that bends, it is only our lies to the community.


:dork:
 
110. Gabe realises how much of a following HL2 has and changes his name to Half-Life Two and starts a religious cult.
 
111. Not to be outdone by David Blaine, Valve puts their only gold master of Half Life 2 in a clear plastic box and hangs it 30 feet in the air in the middle of downtown London. They're gonna beat his 40 days without food no matter how long it takes.
 
Originally posted by festivalman
111. Not to be outdone by David Blaine, Valve puts their only gold master of Half Life 2 in a clear plastic box and hangs it 30 feet in the air in the middle of downtown London. They're gonna beat his 40 days without food no matter how long it takes.
Click to expand...

LOL.


Btw, i guess it'd take 41 days. :dozey:

112. Gabe will not give a way his 'precious'.
 
LOL SLH!! *imagines a crouched GN locked in a dark room with the golden master in the palm of his hands*
 
114. They have a problem with the physics that they cannot solve. Actualy, it is such a big problem, it will last several months, maybe an year to fix it.
 
116. Valve decided a few months ago to have a better connection with the half life 2 community. To enact this policy, they're reading every single post that's on this board and replying to them where possible. They're about 3 months behind at this point.
 
117. After seeing Alyx in a steamy sex scene with Gordon near the end of the game, the guys at Valve decided to take some more time to "admire" their work.
118. Half-Life 2 has been delayed for the pc in favor of a release on Nokia's N-Gage platform.
 
118a. Valve realizes that using Steam over Nokia's N-Gage's cellular network was a perfect scenario for them, as cell network speeds max out at 2-5k/second anyway.
 
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