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SideEDIT: Originally from... http://www.gamepro.com/gamepro/domestic/games/features/40848.shtml
The year has come to an end, and before we think of New Year's resolutions we can't meet, take a step back and reminisce all that was wrong this past year in gaming.
20) Half-Life 2 Collector's Edition Big and Empty; Steam Sputters
After being delayed for over year, and Valve's bouts with VU Games over Steam distribution, gamers awaited for the release of Half-Life 2 with tingled anxiety and exuberance. The Collector's Edition turned out to be an $80 disappointment--the included original Half-Life was largely unchanged from the original, the tiny hint/art book paled in comparison to the $90 online version's book, and it came in a giant box which could only be justified by a XL T-shirt that only the most socially dejected would care to wear. To top it off, many had to endure hours of waiting for the game to be authenticated on its launch day, with Steam often unable to even register users.
19) Duke Nukem--A Decade in the Making
Just when everybody forgot the existence of Duke Nukem, 3D Realms announces that it signed Swedish firm Meqon to handle the physics engine for its vaporous sequel, Duke Nukem Forever. While 3D Realms has a reassuring "it's done when it's done" stance for the shooter, the numerous delays either signals a new Half-Life--or the new Daikatana.
18) Microsoft Axes First-Party Sports Titles
Realizing that not much else than Halo 2 proves to be very successful, Microsoft Game Studios slashed its internal sports game development team, laying off 76 employees--seeing the effective end of NFL Fever, NHL Rivals, and Inside Drive. Those who read the signs saw it as no surprise, as an announcement was made previously that it would not release any sports titles in fall '04. EA denied any connection with the move, who was fresh from an agreement with Microsoft that would see EA Sports titles support Xbox Live.
17) Fallout RPG Canned, Reopened
Black Isle Studios saw its tragic end last year, and this year saw the disappointing release of Brotherhood of Steel, which like a long lost evil twin separated from birth, only served to tank the once brilliant franchise further. Hardcore fans hoped that the game would be picked up by Troika or Obsidian, but instead was nabbed by Bethesda, who plans to restart development from scratch--putting their own perks into the series.
16) Video Games Make You Fat
In an announcement as surprising as the super-sized realization that too much McDonalds will kill you, Swedish lobby groups that decry the ill effects of video games said that kids typically eat potato chips and drink soda while playing games, making them fat. On the flip side, man-powered PlayStations were announced, with kids able to play games by powering them with their feet.
15) THQ Wrestles for Franchise
Jakks might've had a couple of weapons stashed under the ring to get the edge, as WWE has sued THQ and Jakks for allegedly scheming together to win an exclusive licensing deal, unfairly beating out other publishers such as Activision. Former WWE senior vice president of licensing and merchandising James Bell, now one of Jakks' top executives, is accused of taking over $100,000 in bribes. THQ issues a statement denying the allegation, saying with corporate tact that "if it's anybody's fault, it's Jakks'."
14) Gran Turismo 4 Stalls at Start Line
Although Yamauchi said the game was "complete" in November 2004, the game still found itself delayed to 2005. With the doubly-disappointing announcement that it won't have online play, Yamauchi consoled fans with a feature that would enable you to take pictures of your car in scenic locations. On a slightly more positive note, it seems Gran Turismo 5 will finally include damage modeling--but long after the release of Forza. Meanwhile, Enthusia continues to jump up and down for attention in the pit stop.
13) Legislators Move to Restrict Sales of Mature Games--And Fail
Politicians raise a rhetorical maelstrom for the opulence of violence in video games, but ultimately leaves a barely discernable ripple in the industry. Targeting games such as Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Manhunt, legislators from Florida and California sought to more strictly enforce sales of violent games to minors--some even suggested making it a third-degree felony for allowing minors to obtain a copy of an "M" rated game. The wealthy game industry beat out angry moms, the only change being some retailers showing a clearer indication of the ESRB's rating system.
12) Boy Threatens to Kill Dad for Video Game
Woe to those who stand in the way between a kid and his Pokemon--A 13-year old Hong Kong teen threatened his parents with a knife after his dad pulled the plug on a video game. Although police reported that the kid wildly thrashed around with the blade, no injuries occurred from the incident. The gaming rage was instigated by dad, who cut the power to the game to enforce bedtime. Meanwhile, innumerable teens across the U.S. threaten to kill others over voice chat for being cheap and using Rocket Launchers in Halo 2.
11) Smugglers Used and Abused in Star Wars Galaxies
Back in the tail end of 2003, folks at Sony Online Entertainment promised big changes for Star Wars Galaxies for 2004, among them being the Great Civil War (GCW), combat revamp, and smugglers. The developers promised the changes would take place before the release of expansion Jump to Lightspeed, restoring peace in the Galaxy. None of them happened, instead further bashing the Smuggler profession further into the ground. Ignoring the hundreds of carefully crafted posts and suggestions, SOE implemented an Imperial scanning feature that leaves Smugglers susceptible to getting punished for carrying illegal "sliced" items--while giving Imperial Officer players a pat on the back for doing the same.
With longtime players deserting and turning servers into giant wastelands of empty vendors, SOE again released a statement at the end of 2004 promising Smuggler, GCW, and combat revamps--few are holding their breath. And Vader chills in a retreat while Jedis run wild in supposedly Imperial-controlled cities. Han and Chewy prefer cantinas.
10) End of Acclaim, End of Cool Shooter?
After more than 15 years, Acclaim shut its doors in September, leaving games Juiced and Red Star in limbo. Although Juice will ultimately see a release by THQ, Red Star still has its fate up in the air, despite being more compelling than a (yet another) tuner racing game. The game is basically finished, and now awaits some courageous publisher who would valiantly pick up a non-sequel-based title.
9) EverQuest II Launches; Nobody Cares
Hiring Hollywood talents of Heather Graham and Christopher Lee wasn't enough to save this once superior franchise from falling, overshadowed by the common sense genius of World of Warcraft (WoW). Seemingly anticipating a losing battle, SOE releases EverQuest II before WoW--but gamers remained unphased, ignoring calls to become a cat-headed warrior. The launch of WoW was a stunning success, trumping EQII despite having less technologically advanced graphics, no voice talent to speak of, and no voiced dialogue. "Evercrack" had its highs--but now the withdrawal pains seem to be kicking in hard.
8) Nokia Admits Taco-Shaped Handheld Not Selling
Kudos to Nokia for trying to open itself to a new market--but they still haven't got the hang of it. The launch of the original N-Gage was disastrous, seeing one of the quickest console price drops (from $299 to $199 in less than two weeks after launch). A technophile's nightmare, the gaming/cell phone system required users to take out the battery to change games, and needed to be held sideways to talk on the phone--spurring a website dedicated to "side talkin'." Nokia quickly went into damage control, releasing the more bearable N-Gage QD, but still retaining its small screen and eye-burning motions. "This is where" ads are no longer anywhere to be found.
7) Sierra Shut Down
While technically still existing for the sake of retaining the brand, Vivendi Universal shut down cut its Seattle-based staff of 350--ending a long legacy of PC gaming. One of the most respected in the 80's and into the 90's, the company created games such as Kings Quest, Quest for Glory, Red Baron, Aces of the Pacific, and Aces Over Europe (from now defunct flight sim studio Dynamix). In not-so-consoling news, Leisure Suit Larry still lives on as a series of mini-games.
6) Video Games--The New Terrorist Device of Choice
Post-9/11 fears showed little signs of waning this year, as Fort Wayne International Airport in Indiana was shut down following reports that a bomb may be hidden in a bathroom stall. The good news was the "aluminum case with wires" turned out to be a video game, and only causing a 40 minute delay in two flights. Is airport security at least tighter then in the U.S.? Not quite. Screeners at Newark Liberty International lost track of a fake bomb during an exercise in December, much to the comfort of air travelers.
5) Sega Forced to Tango with Sammy
In a move that said, "you may not like me, but I got the Pachinko balls to do it," Pachinko machine giant Sammy took control of Sega earlier this year, forming the group Sammy Sega Holdings. The two companies had a colored past, with failed merger negotiations in 2003. Following a 20 percent stake in Sega, Sammy CEO Satomi Hajime took the reigns of Sega, promoting the use of its low-cost Atomiswave platform. The two companies completed the merger in October 2004 in a deal that cost Sammy approx. $1.4 billion dollars. Following the deal, Sammy releases a mediocre 2D fighting game in Japan.
4) Take-Two Encourages Murder and Wholesale Genocide
Or so lawmakers and special interest groups insisted, targeting ultra-violent sandbox game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Politicians and Haitian groups alleged that the line "Kill all the Haitians" was a sinister call to genocide--failing to understand that it was a mission to kill Haitian gangsters. Before anybody picked up the game and figured out the mistake, the tide was already against publisher Take-Two, forcing the company to apologize and remove the line from its games. Take-Two's other controversial game Manhunt got the blame for a teen murder case in UK, with 17-year old killer Warren LeBlanc allegedly obsessed with the snuff film game. The incident took a startling twist when it was revealed the victim, 14-year old Stefan Pakeerah, was the one who had the game, not LeBlanc--killing any further finger-pointing at the game. Meanwhile, GTA: San Andreas is currently blamed for tagging, with teens putting graffiti of initials "GKU" on stores and schools--giving kids the perfect scapegoat for all their acts of pubescent rebellion.
3) Video Game Mags Up in Smoke
Last year had the fall of Ziff Davis' GameNow--this year saw the fall of GMR, XBN, and our very own Gamestar magazine. Not to mention layoffs seen in countless publications this year. A year where many unique magazines have met their untimely end--may they rest in peace.
2) Vapor Fumes from Infinium Labs' Phantom
Whispers of "vaporware" can still be heard, as Phantom maker Infinium Labs faced a rocky year. First it was accused of being a flaky, shady company by hardware tech site HardOCP. Then it faced a mulit-million dollar lawsuit from the former VP of the company (which was settled), a report that it has no more money in its coffers, and now is faced with a stock scam of sending phony faxes to investors to boost the value of the stock. To top it off, the console had what amounted to a no-show at CES, a tiny presence at E3 2004, and is being pushed back to sometime in 2005. A stunning accomplishment it would be to even see the console get launched.
1) EA, the Sweatshop Empire
No company has been more successful this year of painting itself as an evil gaming empire. Sports fans who celebrated ESPN Videogames' bargain-priced sports titles were mortified to find that EA signed an exclusivity deal with the NFL, essentially nuking any future hopes for the ESPN NFL series. The power of the internet was unleashed on the publishing giant with the "anonymous wife" blog, which alleged that EA's managers and HR were reincarnated Egyptian slave drivers. And the company gave a troublesome jolt to Ubisoft by abruptly announcing that it took a 20 percent stake in the French publisher--saying it was an "investment." Not to mention shutting down studios in California and Texas, cutting 117 jobs, effectively shutting down Maxis' office and consolidating the studio into EA, trying to acquire Battlefield developer D.I.C.E., and creating drab titles from once-prestigious franchises (Golden Eye, Medal of Honor). All while making more money than all other publishers can hope for.
Alongside SCO and Microsoft, geeks now have found a new giant to shake their digital fists at.
There you have it. Happy new year--and hope for a joyful year of gaming for 2005.
The year has come to an end, and before we think of New Year's resolutions we can't meet, take a step back and reminisce all that was wrong this past year in gaming.
20) Half-Life 2 Collector's Edition Big and Empty; Steam Sputters
After being delayed for over year, and Valve's bouts with VU Games over Steam distribution, gamers awaited for the release of Half-Life 2 with tingled anxiety and exuberance. The Collector's Edition turned out to be an $80 disappointment--the included original Half-Life was largely unchanged from the original, the tiny hint/art book paled in comparison to the $90 online version's book, and it came in a giant box which could only be justified by a XL T-shirt that only the most socially dejected would care to wear. To top it off, many had to endure hours of waiting for the game to be authenticated on its launch day, with Steam often unable to even register users.
19) Duke Nukem--A Decade in the Making
Just when everybody forgot the existence of Duke Nukem, 3D Realms announces that it signed Swedish firm Meqon to handle the physics engine for its vaporous sequel, Duke Nukem Forever. While 3D Realms has a reassuring "it's done when it's done" stance for the shooter, the numerous delays either signals a new Half-Life--or the new Daikatana.
18) Microsoft Axes First-Party Sports Titles
Realizing that not much else than Halo 2 proves to be very successful, Microsoft Game Studios slashed its internal sports game development team, laying off 76 employees--seeing the effective end of NFL Fever, NHL Rivals, and Inside Drive. Those who read the signs saw it as no surprise, as an announcement was made previously that it would not release any sports titles in fall '04. EA denied any connection with the move, who was fresh from an agreement with Microsoft that would see EA Sports titles support Xbox Live.
17) Fallout RPG Canned, Reopened
Black Isle Studios saw its tragic end last year, and this year saw the disappointing release of Brotherhood of Steel, which like a long lost evil twin separated from birth, only served to tank the once brilliant franchise further. Hardcore fans hoped that the game would be picked up by Troika or Obsidian, but instead was nabbed by Bethesda, who plans to restart development from scratch--putting their own perks into the series.
16) Video Games Make You Fat
In an announcement as surprising as the super-sized realization that too much McDonalds will kill you, Swedish lobby groups that decry the ill effects of video games said that kids typically eat potato chips and drink soda while playing games, making them fat. On the flip side, man-powered PlayStations were announced, with kids able to play games by powering them with their feet.
15) THQ Wrestles for Franchise
Jakks might've had a couple of weapons stashed under the ring to get the edge, as WWE has sued THQ and Jakks for allegedly scheming together to win an exclusive licensing deal, unfairly beating out other publishers such as Activision. Former WWE senior vice president of licensing and merchandising James Bell, now one of Jakks' top executives, is accused of taking over $100,000 in bribes. THQ issues a statement denying the allegation, saying with corporate tact that "if it's anybody's fault, it's Jakks'."
14) Gran Turismo 4 Stalls at Start Line
Although Yamauchi said the game was "complete" in November 2004, the game still found itself delayed to 2005. With the doubly-disappointing announcement that it won't have online play, Yamauchi consoled fans with a feature that would enable you to take pictures of your car in scenic locations. On a slightly more positive note, it seems Gran Turismo 5 will finally include damage modeling--but long after the release of Forza. Meanwhile, Enthusia continues to jump up and down for attention in the pit stop.
13) Legislators Move to Restrict Sales of Mature Games--And Fail
Politicians raise a rhetorical maelstrom for the opulence of violence in video games, but ultimately leaves a barely discernable ripple in the industry. Targeting games such as Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Manhunt, legislators from Florida and California sought to more strictly enforce sales of violent games to minors--some even suggested making it a third-degree felony for allowing minors to obtain a copy of an "M" rated game. The wealthy game industry beat out angry moms, the only change being some retailers showing a clearer indication of the ESRB's rating system.
12) Boy Threatens to Kill Dad for Video Game
Woe to those who stand in the way between a kid and his Pokemon--A 13-year old Hong Kong teen threatened his parents with a knife after his dad pulled the plug on a video game. Although police reported that the kid wildly thrashed around with the blade, no injuries occurred from the incident. The gaming rage was instigated by dad, who cut the power to the game to enforce bedtime. Meanwhile, innumerable teens across the U.S. threaten to kill others over voice chat for being cheap and using Rocket Launchers in Halo 2.
11) Smugglers Used and Abused in Star Wars Galaxies
Back in the tail end of 2003, folks at Sony Online Entertainment promised big changes for Star Wars Galaxies for 2004, among them being the Great Civil War (GCW), combat revamp, and smugglers. The developers promised the changes would take place before the release of expansion Jump to Lightspeed, restoring peace in the Galaxy. None of them happened, instead further bashing the Smuggler profession further into the ground. Ignoring the hundreds of carefully crafted posts and suggestions, SOE implemented an Imperial scanning feature that leaves Smugglers susceptible to getting punished for carrying illegal "sliced" items--while giving Imperial Officer players a pat on the back for doing the same.
With longtime players deserting and turning servers into giant wastelands of empty vendors, SOE again released a statement at the end of 2004 promising Smuggler, GCW, and combat revamps--few are holding their breath. And Vader chills in a retreat while Jedis run wild in supposedly Imperial-controlled cities. Han and Chewy prefer cantinas.
10) End of Acclaim, End of Cool Shooter?
After more than 15 years, Acclaim shut its doors in September, leaving games Juiced and Red Star in limbo. Although Juice will ultimately see a release by THQ, Red Star still has its fate up in the air, despite being more compelling than a (yet another) tuner racing game. The game is basically finished, and now awaits some courageous publisher who would valiantly pick up a non-sequel-based title.
9) EverQuest II Launches; Nobody Cares
Hiring Hollywood talents of Heather Graham and Christopher Lee wasn't enough to save this once superior franchise from falling, overshadowed by the common sense genius of World of Warcraft (WoW). Seemingly anticipating a losing battle, SOE releases EverQuest II before WoW--but gamers remained unphased, ignoring calls to become a cat-headed warrior. The launch of WoW was a stunning success, trumping EQII despite having less technologically advanced graphics, no voice talent to speak of, and no voiced dialogue. "Evercrack" had its highs--but now the withdrawal pains seem to be kicking in hard.
8) Nokia Admits Taco-Shaped Handheld Not Selling
Kudos to Nokia for trying to open itself to a new market--but they still haven't got the hang of it. The launch of the original N-Gage was disastrous, seeing one of the quickest console price drops (from $299 to $199 in less than two weeks after launch). A technophile's nightmare, the gaming/cell phone system required users to take out the battery to change games, and needed to be held sideways to talk on the phone--spurring a website dedicated to "side talkin'." Nokia quickly went into damage control, releasing the more bearable N-Gage QD, but still retaining its small screen and eye-burning motions. "This is where" ads are no longer anywhere to be found.
7) Sierra Shut Down
While technically still existing for the sake of retaining the brand, Vivendi Universal shut down cut its Seattle-based staff of 350--ending a long legacy of PC gaming. One of the most respected in the 80's and into the 90's, the company created games such as Kings Quest, Quest for Glory, Red Baron, Aces of the Pacific, and Aces Over Europe (from now defunct flight sim studio Dynamix). In not-so-consoling news, Leisure Suit Larry still lives on as a series of mini-games.
6) Video Games--The New Terrorist Device of Choice
Post-9/11 fears showed little signs of waning this year, as Fort Wayne International Airport in Indiana was shut down following reports that a bomb may be hidden in a bathroom stall. The good news was the "aluminum case with wires" turned out to be a video game, and only causing a 40 minute delay in two flights. Is airport security at least tighter then in the U.S.? Not quite. Screeners at Newark Liberty International lost track of a fake bomb during an exercise in December, much to the comfort of air travelers.
5) Sega Forced to Tango with Sammy
In a move that said, "you may not like me, but I got the Pachinko balls to do it," Pachinko machine giant Sammy took control of Sega earlier this year, forming the group Sammy Sega Holdings. The two companies had a colored past, with failed merger negotiations in 2003. Following a 20 percent stake in Sega, Sammy CEO Satomi Hajime took the reigns of Sega, promoting the use of its low-cost Atomiswave platform. The two companies completed the merger in October 2004 in a deal that cost Sammy approx. $1.4 billion dollars. Following the deal, Sammy releases a mediocre 2D fighting game in Japan.
4) Take-Two Encourages Murder and Wholesale Genocide
Or so lawmakers and special interest groups insisted, targeting ultra-violent sandbox game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Politicians and Haitian groups alleged that the line "Kill all the Haitians" was a sinister call to genocide--failing to understand that it was a mission to kill Haitian gangsters. Before anybody picked up the game and figured out the mistake, the tide was already against publisher Take-Two, forcing the company to apologize and remove the line from its games. Take-Two's other controversial game Manhunt got the blame for a teen murder case in UK, with 17-year old killer Warren LeBlanc allegedly obsessed with the snuff film game. The incident took a startling twist when it was revealed the victim, 14-year old Stefan Pakeerah, was the one who had the game, not LeBlanc--killing any further finger-pointing at the game. Meanwhile, GTA: San Andreas is currently blamed for tagging, with teens putting graffiti of initials "GKU" on stores and schools--giving kids the perfect scapegoat for all their acts of pubescent rebellion.
3) Video Game Mags Up in Smoke
Last year had the fall of Ziff Davis' GameNow--this year saw the fall of GMR, XBN, and our very own Gamestar magazine. Not to mention layoffs seen in countless publications this year. A year where many unique magazines have met their untimely end--may they rest in peace.
2) Vapor Fumes from Infinium Labs' Phantom
Whispers of "vaporware" can still be heard, as Phantom maker Infinium Labs faced a rocky year. First it was accused of being a flaky, shady company by hardware tech site HardOCP. Then it faced a mulit-million dollar lawsuit from the former VP of the company (which was settled), a report that it has no more money in its coffers, and now is faced with a stock scam of sending phony faxes to investors to boost the value of the stock. To top it off, the console had what amounted to a no-show at CES, a tiny presence at E3 2004, and is being pushed back to sometime in 2005. A stunning accomplishment it would be to even see the console get launched.
1) EA, the Sweatshop Empire
No company has been more successful this year of painting itself as an evil gaming empire. Sports fans who celebrated ESPN Videogames' bargain-priced sports titles were mortified to find that EA signed an exclusivity deal with the NFL, essentially nuking any future hopes for the ESPN NFL series. The power of the internet was unleashed on the publishing giant with the "anonymous wife" blog, which alleged that EA's managers and HR were reincarnated Egyptian slave drivers. And the company gave a troublesome jolt to Ubisoft by abruptly announcing that it took a 20 percent stake in the French publisher--saying it was an "investment." Not to mention shutting down studios in California and Texas, cutting 117 jobs, effectively shutting down Maxis' office and consolidating the studio into EA, trying to acquire Battlefield developer D.I.C.E., and creating drab titles from once-prestigious franchises (Golden Eye, Medal of Honor). All while making more money than all other publishers can hope for.
Alongside SCO and Microsoft, geeks now have found a new giant to shake their digital fists at.
There you have it. Happy new year--and hope for a joyful year of gaming for 2005.
