Typical F-150 Owner

[LittleB]

Typical F-150 Owner: a Tale of 85 MPH Freeway Speeds, Fast Buicks, and Flying Cake

So there I was, on my way to school. I was just about to get on the 210 west (in California). On the onramp is one of those stoplights that let one person through at a time right? But it's two lanes, so two can go. So I was waiting for the greenlight, and this huge F-150 owner pulls next to me. Lifted, boggers, all the dumb shit. So I'm thinking, seeing as how that's an F-150 owner, I bet he's gonna try and pass me. Even though I had right of way (he had to merge into my lane). Sure enough, light turns green, and he chirps it. I ofcourse have too much horsepower, seeing as how I was driving a Buick Park Avenue Ultra. Not that much, but much better then an F-150. So I kept it slow till about 10 miles per hour, because if I floor it it causes a burnout. Then, after 10, I gun it. And I passsss him. Like 5 car lengths. So I laugh at my rearview mirror "Hahahah, F-150 owner, I pwned yooz!!1!"

So then I set my blinker, and go change lanes, one by one. Then, when I'm about to go into the fast lane, I check my mirror, nobody there, check my blind spot, also nobody. So I pull into the fast lane, and suddenly I hear ZOOOONNNNK (his horn). Apparently he had tried to catch up, and was trying to pass me in the fast lane, even though I had my blinker out, and he came out of nowhere.

Well, I guess he *thought* I had cut him off (remember, please, the Typical F-150 Owner isn't the intelligent sort), and tailgated me for about 5 minutes. Then, when there was room, he pulled to the right of me. I guess he wanted to flip me off or something, but I wouldn't know, because I ignored him. He was just an F-150 owner, after all. So then he pulls forward, so he's like at my 1-2 o'clock. He waves and waves, trying to get me to pull forward. Suddenly, his arm disappears.

What happens then? You won't believe it. A piece of cake comes flying out of his window. Yes, you read correct, cake. So it bounces off of my hood, windshield, and proceeds to cause a seven car pile-up behind me. Cake !


So then the Typical F-150 Owner drives around me, cuts me off, tailgates me, all the good shit. Eventually, I just think "Feel my r0><0rs Buick powrz0z, noob!!!", and shoot off into the distance.

And ofcourse, he comes up again, and proceeds to try and annoy me. Why, I don't know. Eventually I got sick of him, and shot off so far, he couldn't catch up in his slow-ass F-150.

Typical F-150 Owner. Yeesh.

The moral of the story? If you own an F-150, and want to scare other motorists, don't throw cake at them. Bakeware isn't as scary as you think. :dozey:

 

[Fat Tony!]

/me chucks cake at littleB argh!!! die!!!!.
Should had put a sign on the door " i dont eat cake, thank you".

 

[Direwolf]

Uh....we own an F-150, and thats a pretty dumb stereotype. You're gonna see jackasses in all vehicles.

 

[marksmanHL2 :)]

heheh, yeah the stereotype can be wrong but its still a funny ass story! :rolling:

 

[Direwolf]

He shoulda caught the cake. :smoking:

 

[LittleB]

well, not really f-150 owners, just truck and suv owners in general.

btw, i feel sorry for you direwolf

 

[Direwolf]

Sorry? Show me a Civic that can stand up to excavation work and I'll switch post haste.

 

[staddydaddy]

pfff 85 miles per hour is PETTY. now 110 is fast when you're pissed off and raging with someone else.

 

[ApocalypseNow]

Hey **** you i own a 97 f250 (Technincally an 150)

 

[DiSTuRbEd]

yeah try to race my uncles f-150 svt lightning, see what happens...

 

[crabcakes66]

Hey **** you i own a 97 f250 (Technincally an 150)

No, **** you if you drive like an asshole.

 

[Direwolf]

I think a lightning is the exact opposite of the truck he was talking about. A jacked up big-wheeled truck vs. a lowered performance machine. :farmer:

 

[Pressure]

I'm getting an F-150 and I don't drive like that lol.

I own a Ranger right now, its my mini F-150 .

 

[Top Secret]

I'm sorry, but it pisses me off when people buy F-150's or F-250 gas guzzling machines just to drive to the corner store. Get a god damn Honda Civic or something unless you work for a lumber company or live in the mountains. (I'm not saying you guys don't have legitimate reasons, just that most don't.)

 

[Naft]

I'm sorry, but it pisses me off when people buy F-150's or F-250 gas guzzling machines just to drive to the corner store. Get a god damn Honda Civic or something unless you work for a lumber company or live in the mountains. (I'm not saying you guys don't have legitimate reasons, just that most don't.)

Amen......

 

[CheapAssStrat]

I don't know about that guy being a "typical" F-150 owner... After all, isn't the F-150 the best selling pickup truck seven years in a row or something? Or maybe it was some other truck... I can't remember.

 

[Direwolf]

Yeah, so there really isn't a "typical" owner, anymore than theres a typical Civic driver.
I live in Connecticut, and while there are an awful lot of SUVs around I can't be angry because I'm jealous of them everytime we get a snow or ice storm.

 

[nw909]

I'm sorry, but it pisses me off when people buy F-150's or F-250 gas guzzling machines just to drive to the corner store. Get a god damn Honda Civic or something unless you work for a lumber company or live in the mountains. (I'm not saying you guys don't have legitimate reasons, just that most don't.)

Pisses me off too.

Theres this owner of a Hummer H2 that lives on the block that my school faces and all its purpose is is to drive like 100 meters to the school and drop off their kid and then drive to work.

And you can also spot the hummer driving up and down the same street about 5 times in a row and they driving off some days, kindof weird.

 

[burnzie]

i had a women in a corolla try to gun me at the lights, trying to get a head of me, it was only me and her at the lights and i aint a slow driver so there was no reason to get ahead of me. the lane ends just after the lights. Green, we both took off, she floored it and i only had mine bout half way down, the poor corolla sounded if it was gonna fall apart and i had right of way, she wouldnt give in. she was waveing her hands at me, i just pulled a big smile and waved as i planted it and lefty her for dead. she was now in the bike lane at the time.

i thought it was over, i was clearly ahead and i slowed back down to 80km/h (speed limit), bout 10 seconds later i look in my rear view mirror and guess whos tailgateing me. i jamed on the anchors just enough to give her a scare, and her tires screeched and smoked as she came to a complete stop and i burned off up the road.

 

[A2597]

OK, can we avoid rash generalizations here? Yes, most people that actually jack up their cars, get all the little red neck exstras ARE going to be poor drivers, but not ALL.

Sometimes those gas guzzlers ARE needed. But don't bitch about an F150 or and SUV for petes sake. They still get 20-30MPG. Complain about those RV campers, which get about 4 MPG.

I own a jeep grand charokee. I've had people bitch to me about how horrible it is because it's a gas guzzler, how if I get in an accident my bumer is up so high it will miss the other cars bumper...blah blah blah.

BULL SHIT. pure and simple. get a honda civic, get ~30 MPG, get in accident and die.
or get a Jeep, get 24MPG, get in accident, STILL HIT THE OTHER CARS BUMPER, because there is such a minimal difference, and live.

gee, hard choice.

not to mention about 75% of cars on the road are trucks or SUVs in this area...bumper excurse doesn't cut it.

 

[Revisedsoul]

i got myself a 79 f-150. and thank god i dotn act like that, even though it can do 120 mph. great for off roading though

 

[DiSTuRbEd]

I think a lightning is the exact opposite of the truck he was talking about. A jacked up big-wheeled truck vs. a lowered performance machine. :farmer:

No its built on the same chassis and everything, thus why it says Ford F150 SVT lightning on the tag for purchasing.

 

[ApocalypseNow]

No, **** you if you drive like an asshole.

Hell yeah I drive like an asshole, it becuase of my badass f150 BITCH!

 

[ApocalypseNow]

I'm getting an F-150 and I don't drive like that lol.

I own a Ranger right now, its my mini F-150 .

you wish....

 

[LittleB]

jeez guys.. i was only kidding about everything..

sure there's lots of assholes driving in all types of cars, but if you barrel across 4 lanes at 85 mph in your suburban, you better watch out for my middle finger

 

[Fat Tony!]

You dont need a big car, it wastes so much fuel and means that so much is wasted to make the car bigger all those wasted material..... annoying

 

[D33]

He waves and waves, trying to get me to pull forward. Suddenly, his arm disappears.

What happens then? You won't believe it. A piece of cake comes flying out of his window. Yes, you read correct, cake. So it bounces off of my hood, windshield, and proceeds to cause a seven car pile-up behind me. Cake !

Haven't naturally laughed quite so hard for a long time.

Top stuff, LittleB

 

[Direwolf]

No its built on the same chassis and everything, thus why it says Ford F150 SVT lightning on the tag for purchasing.

I know, but the difference is so large it barely matters. I have no problems believing that a car can toast an F150 with raised suspension, especially if theres no real modification done to the engine. Whereas you're gonna be hard pressed to beat a lightning in any normal vehicle since its a performance machine.

 

[LittleB]

Yeah.. but I aint never buyin that shit... it's a truck... *shudders*

trucks are for farmers and construction workers. why would anyone else need a truck?

oh, ohh!! i'm gonna buy a truck, so i can bring my refridgerator to work everyday! sweet! i mean come on..

 

[infin|ty]

I think more people need Hummers. The potholes are getting pretty bad lately.

 

[umop]

You know, I can't tell what pisses me off and raises my blood pressure more: Ricers or Truck/SUV assholes? In the past couple of years, every time I see a fart cannon slapped on some kid's mom's Honda Civic with a visor/beads on the rear view, I give them the usual finger/horn. The strange part is that I have yet to get even ONE response! WTF? I know at least 1/4 of those morons noticed it. Weird.

 

[DiSTuRbEd]

You know, I can't tell what pisses me off and raises my blood pressure more: Ricers or Truck/SUV assholes? In the past couple of years, every time I see a fart cannon slapped on some kid's mom's Honda Civic with a visor/beads on the rear view, I give them the usual finger/horn. The strange part is that I have yet to get even ONE response! WTF? I know at least 1/4 of those morons noticed it. Weird.

Very mature flicking people off and honking. I give you the idiot of the year award.

 

[LittleB]

Personally the truck people piss me off more... Both the ricers and truckers cut you off, but because of the sheer size of the bohemoths they're driving, the truckers do it a little too close for comfort (cause they cant see)

One time on the freeway I was driving, and I was in the fast lane, and someone in a truck was in the carpool lane behind someone else, and I passed them cuz the front guy was going slower then me. The truck guy was tailgating the other guy. Then after I passed them, I was in my rear view mirror the truck cut across the double yellow line (illegal, eh), tear across two lanes into the one to the right of me, then pull up and cut me off by like 50 cm!!! THEN they cut across the line again into the carpool lane. ****ERS! so i pulled up, waited for the passenger to see me, then i flipped him off! yay for justice! then i smoked him in my '82 toyota tercel


and you know what kind of truck it was? a Ford F-150... waddaya know? :dozey:

 

[No Limit]

Don't get me wrong, I hate people that drive like total assholes. However, saying that SUV owners in general are idiots and shouldn't be driving big ass cars like that to save gas is extremely arrogant. If we waste a lot of gas that is our problem, we have to pay for it. You don't really need a legitimate reason to buy a big suv just as you don't need a legitimate reason to buy a ferrari or a big house. Gas conservation is total BS in my book, we had a gas problems long before SUVs and sport cars and would still have one just as big if the SUVs didn't exist. I won't even mention the fact that Americans bitch about gas prices when the rest of the world is paying almost twice as much. When I went to Poland about a year ago the price at the pump was $3.80 a gallon, just about what the rest of the world pays. So when I hear people complain about $1.70 being too much to pay I simply laugh. The whole argument against SUV sounds to me like this, "Hey I don't have a big SUV, why should they be allowed to have one?".

 

[JonTheCanuck]

why would u buy a ford anyways. Its just gonna break down in a week. As for hondas, i have a large dislike for them aswell. Dime a dozen.

 

[No Limit]

why would u buy a ford anyways. Its just gonna break down in a week. As for hondas, i have a large dislike for them aswell. Dime a dozen.

Funny, I have a 99 Cobra and it hasn't broken down yet. Infact I haven't had any problems with it since the day I bought it. Maybe I'm just lucky .

 

[Direwolf]

I've also had pretty good luck with Fords.
And I have to agree with No Limit: Jackasses are jackasses, not matter what they're driving. Maybe their numbers are slightly higher among those with SUVs, I don't know. But saying people who drive them are jerks is like saying all old people are useless and the Japanese are evil. Its a stupid blanket statement that usually stems more from a personal affront than from fact.

 

[umop]

Very mature flicking people off and honking. I give you the idiot of the year award.

Quite the offended one, are we? You must be one of the countless idiots on the road... just what we need

So you're the type that takes the Honda Accord you begged your mom to buy you for 3 years, puts stickers all over it, some ReeL TiTe Spinnuhz hubcabs, a fart cannon, drives around the neighborhood with the obnoxious exhaust at 3 am to wake all of the neighbors up, prances around like a 10 year old, just to impress the rest of the idiots? Don't you realize what you're doing? Well... I could say more but I'll leave this website to do the talking for me.

 

[crabcakes66]

Quite the offended one, are we? You must be one of the countless idiots on the road... just what we need

You sound like the idiot to me buddy. I dont like ricers or idiots in there trucks any more than you do, but acting like an asshole yourself does not help.

 

[Naft]

i really dont think the stereotype he meant to be making was strictly f-150s. granted there are performance f-150s that are pretty fast(not compared to a performance car, but yeah), and they may have their own type of driver, and there are your average f-150s that have average drivers. but the f-250s, with beds so short they are actually shorter than an f-150(and therefore look like one), with the extended cab, a 4+ inch lift, and pointlessly large tires, those are the types of drivers he's talking about.

and there really isnt a problem making a stereotype about somehting so specific, because the average f-150 driver doesnt give a shit about lifts and large tires, the only people who will get those are the red-neck type assholes who like those. and all red-neck assholes who buy shortbed f-250s with 4 inch lifts and 37 inch tire drive like total jackasses. that is not a stereotype, not an assumption or a generalization, but the cold hard truth. paradigm? yeah, probably, there are always exceptions, but you really have to ignore the exceptions, because if every exception was recognized there wouldnt be any neat little categories that we could put anything into. there would be 6.5 billion categories for people, and quadrillions of categories for everything else.

i have experienced these drivers. they exist, they are real, and they are too damn common. and yes, they usually drive f-150s or f-250 shortbeds (always with at least a 4" lift, unless their too poor, and then they drive like they want a lift), and yes, they are red-neck assholes. and yes, they have 2 loaded 12 guages in behind their seats, so just stay the hell away and wait for them to shoot themselves.