Unforseen Circumstances

G Man

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Hi guys, this is going to be my second fan fiction for HL2, it’s going to be based on Episode One so hopefully it should beat off some of the hunger for when it is released. Any comments or criticisms are very welcome.
Enjoy.

Chapter 1
Unlikely Fortunes

The darkness just would not go away, no matter how much he tried to make it go, it just wouldn’t…. Damon didn’t know where he was or how he had got there, the last thing he remembered was seeing a combine APC coming straight towards him, then he blanked out.
For the third time, Damon fainted.
“Get up!” Get up citizen!” The metrocop smacked Damon around the head. He got up off the floor, the darkness had gone and he was now staring at the masked face of a Combine metrocop. Before the metrocop could say any more, a huge slab of concrete crashed down onto his head, instantly knocking him to the floor and crushing his skull. Sunlight streamed in through the hole in the roof and Damon saw his first light in five days.
Instantly his combat instincts kicked in and told him something must be wrong, he picked up the metrocop’s stun baton and walked to the door that had been left open by the metrocop at the end of the room, as Damon looked out of the door; he saw to his left a group of shambling bodies moving slowly towards him. Recognising these as headcrab zombies his heart started beating faster and he ran down the right corridor towards a sound that seemed to be gunshots.
Damon ran out of the door at the end of the corridor and was greeted with the sight of his life, to his right on a main road, were at least 40 combine soldiers behind makeshift barricades of tyres, metal panels and the dead bodies of the hundreds of antlions swarming them. On a tenement block towering over the battle, governor of Earth Wallace Breen was making a speech.
“Citizens of City 17, the time of reckoning is upon us, the vermin of the polluted districts of the universe have entered our fair city, a haven from the worlds evils. We must band together as one and fulfil our destinies to save the lives of those we hold close to our hearts.”
Breen must be getting worried, the sweat beads were visible on his forehead, things must be getting bad…

Look forward to the next chapter soon.
 
I really need some comments please people, I wanna know if i should keep going....
 
It has a good premise as it takes place after hl2 which is neato, but your chapters are very short

There used to be a fan fic on this forum, before legal issues took it away, that had very excellent quality and it had good length.

What you written so far impressed me, but you need more length in your chapters in my opinion.
 
Thankyou very much for your comment, I am planning to increase the length of the chapters and it's great to see a new face contributing :D
 
T'was pretty good, however I didn't like Breen's speech, it didn't sound like him.
 
excellent hoice of words! but try to make the metro cops sound more android like. Without much expression or emotion in their voices.
 
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