Vegeta897
Banned as all ****
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2004
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Last night I dreamt. I dreamt a dream that was both unsettling, and meaningful. I never would have though dreams could teach such lessons, or, accentuate them.
Like all dreams, (long ones atleast) the entire plot is not clear... Some parts are foggy, and the order of it is boggled. So, I will do my best to reconstruct it. And also note, that the dream shall be told from a perspective of NOW, as opposed to as if I was writing it as the dream was taking place, which exludes all after thoughts and interpretations factored in.
First, some background to help you understand. I live a fairly normal life. I am OK most of the time, and happy ofcourse. Sometimes I can get stressed, due to school. (I'm sure most of you remember/know how that was/is) I am one of four children; two brothers, one sister. Both my parents are still together, yadda yadda normal normal. I don't tend to get along well with my Dad. I don't know why this is. It's not like we don't have common interests... He owns a software company and I plan to work for him, as one of my older brothers already does. But ofcourse that doesn't mean I don't love him, or not talk to him. However, he did get taken away from me for 8 months, and I was the one who suffered most, even though I don't show my love for him as much as my mother for example. It's an odd thing. Like, either he is distant, or very close. No in between with that. My sister is younger than I, and I feel a need to protect her, be a good older brother.
So, on to the dream. From what I can gather, it took place roughly a year in the future. In the dream, life was bad. Near to suicide. I won't get into why quite yet. I will explain a flashback that took place in the dream, that explained how things got the way they were.
First off, my mother is dead. I don't gather anything of how it happened, I'm not sure if the flashback covered it. But she was gone. She is just about the closest person in my life to me.
Next... Me and my best friend David, were playing some wierd counterstrike-like game. And for some reason, my dad was playing aswell. Except, it was a real life game, where you were actually running around. And... Well this was quite a dramatic part, that can not be expressed enough in words. David somehow killed my dad in the game. I recall seeing him at the bottom of a large drop in the level, like looking down from the ledge into the river in Aztec. I ran down, and sat beside my dad, "You killed my father!!!" I screamed. "You killed my dad!!!" David became energetic aswell, running and screaming for help. "Oh my god!!!" I was so angry, I cut off the lower part of my leg, just below the knee. It was an odd part of the dream, I was watching this like it was a low resolution video file, maximized to fit the screen. All blurred and pixelated.
However, this confuses me, as my father was still alive in the dream. More on that later.
Now, Soon after that (but still in a flashback) I recall living with the lower part of my right leg cut off. It was gone, and just a lump left. I don't remember having crutches, or a wheelchair, but somehow I managed to walk. Remember, not all of my leg was gone. Anyway, I went over Davids house to play. His little sister and her friend was there. I didn't recognise the friend. Anyway, we were going to make some kind of short film. Apparantly that was one of the games we often played. I felt so inspired, in the condition I was in, and what happened with my dad. (In fact, all day today I have felt inspired due to this sad dream) As I knelt, (my shortened leg standing right up, my other bent) I was talking about how great it would be. But, they were staring at me. At my handicap. And at that moment, I felt what it was like to be a handicap. How I stare at people because they look weird. This was a huge thing learned. Some of you may say I could never feel how it feels to be in a condition like that with just a dream, but that is the very reason I am posting this. -End segment-
Now into the present tense of the dream. I am living with my sister, and my father. My mom had given birth to a baby before she died (perhaps she died delivering?) and we had to take care of that. My dad, as I said, was alive, but someone was wrong with him. He had to wear this rubber thing on his mouth. In fact, it was one of those disposable rubber gloves a doctor might use. And for some reason, my sister and I had to wear them to. (Perhaps it was contagious?)
Here is a scene from this present tense- We are on the street, and my dad was driving us to (school?) and was just dropping us off. We were given new gloves to put on our mouths. (As you might imagine, all the breathing on them made them moist and yucky and such) My sister gave hers back.
"Mel, (her name) why aren't you taking it?"
-Dramatic part-
"[I'm doing it] For dad"
This part made me cry several times today. "For dad" If you are confused, read on.
I asked my dad what help that was, her not taking a new one. He explained that they were expensive. We walked as we talked. How much? $20 a pack.
My sister didn't take a new one, so my dad could have an extra. For some reason this seemed so... Sad. Or something.
This explains more of the bad condition life was in. We had to save the little money we had to care for a new baby, and buy these gloves for our faces, on top of all the money we had to pay for treatment of our past injuries.
Speaking of, I had gotten a fake leg attached to my amputated one. It was one like Eli has, a curved rod. Sinse I still could pivot my knee, walking was easy with it.
About the baby... (This part get's weird) Sinse Mom died after the birth, we had to... Inject some kind of femal hormones (I am guessing) into my fathers chest so he could breast feed. Except, to my luck, I was the one getting it in the dream. I felt the needle peirce my chest area, and it was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever felt in a dream. And it was done again for the other 'pectoral muscle'.
But that didn't really have anything to do with what this dream was dreampt for.
So, this dream left me with some kind of respect for the people that are handicapped, and a new love for my father. I felt so sorry for him in the dream, and I am now going to be closer to him. I am glad I had this dream, even though it was very emotionally painful, thinking back on it today.
I want to say more, but I can't remember what.
EDIT: Ah. I also learned big-time, to be EXTREMELY grateful for what you have. Again, most of you may not agree, but I felt very low in this dream.
Be thankful for your health. For having a computer, and a family. For your wealth, friends, talents, and knowledge. Not everyone is like this. And some people have had all this, and then lost it. I felt like this in the dream. Just be thankful, and never ask for more.
To leave some room for discussion... Has anyone else ever had a dream where you had such a... revelation?
-I wish I was a better writer, because I don't feel this post explained why I feel so deeply about this-
Like all dreams, (long ones atleast) the entire plot is not clear... Some parts are foggy, and the order of it is boggled. So, I will do my best to reconstruct it. And also note, that the dream shall be told from a perspective of NOW, as opposed to as if I was writing it as the dream was taking place, which exludes all after thoughts and interpretations factored in.
First, some background to help you understand. I live a fairly normal life. I am OK most of the time, and happy ofcourse. Sometimes I can get stressed, due to school. (I'm sure most of you remember/know how that was/is) I am one of four children; two brothers, one sister. Both my parents are still together, yadda yadda normal normal. I don't tend to get along well with my Dad. I don't know why this is. It's not like we don't have common interests... He owns a software company and I plan to work for him, as one of my older brothers already does. But ofcourse that doesn't mean I don't love him, or not talk to him. However, he did get taken away from me for 8 months, and I was the one who suffered most, even though I don't show my love for him as much as my mother for example. It's an odd thing. Like, either he is distant, or very close. No in between with that. My sister is younger than I, and I feel a need to protect her, be a good older brother.
So, on to the dream. From what I can gather, it took place roughly a year in the future. In the dream, life was bad. Near to suicide. I won't get into why quite yet. I will explain a flashback that took place in the dream, that explained how things got the way they were.
First off, my mother is dead. I don't gather anything of how it happened, I'm not sure if the flashback covered it. But she was gone. She is just about the closest person in my life to me.
Next... Me and my best friend David, were playing some wierd counterstrike-like game. And for some reason, my dad was playing aswell. Except, it was a real life game, where you were actually running around. And... Well this was quite a dramatic part, that can not be expressed enough in words. David somehow killed my dad in the game. I recall seeing him at the bottom of a large drop in the level, like looking down from the ledge into the river in Aztec. I ran down, and sat beside my dad, "You killed my father!!!" I screamed. "You killed my dad!!!" David became energetic aswell, running and screaming for help. "Oh my god!!!" I was so angry, I cut off the lower part of my leg, just below the knee. It was an odd part of the dream, I was watching this like it was a low resolution video file, maximized to fit the screen. All blurred and pixelated.
However, this confuses me, as my father was still alive in the dream. More on that later.
Now, Soon after that (but still in a flashback) I recall living with the lower part of my right leg cut off. It was gone, and just a lump left. I don't remember having crutches, or a wheelchair, but somehow I managed to walk. Remember, not all of my leg was gone. Anyway, I went over Davids house to play. His little sister and her friend was there. I didn't recognise the friend. Anyway, we were going to make some kind of short film. Apparantly that was one of the games we often played. I felt so inspired, in the condition I was in, and what happened with my dad. (In fact, all day today I have felt inspired due to this sad dream) As I knelt, (my shortened leg standing right up, my other bent) I was talking about how great it would be. But, they were staring at me. At my handicap. And at that moment, I felt what it was like to be a handicap. How I stare at people because they look weird. This was a huge thing learned. Some of you may say I could never feel how it feels to be in a condition like that with just a dream, but that is the very reason I am posting this. -End segment-
Now into the present tense of the dream. I am living with my sister, and my father. My mom had given birth to a baby before she died (perhaps she died delivering?) and we had to take care of that. My dad, as I said, was alive, but someone was wrong with him. He had to wear this rubber thing on his mouth. In fact, it was one of those disposable rubber gloves a doctor might use. And for some reason, my sister and I had to wear them to. (Perhaps it was contagious?)
Here is a scene from this present tense- We are on the street, and my dad was driving us to (school?) and was just dropping us off. We were given new gloves to put on our mouths. (As you might imagine, all the breathing on them made them moist and yucky and such) My sister gave hers back.
"Mel, (her name) why aren't you taking it?"
-Dramatic part-
"[I'm doing it] For dad"
This part made me cry several times today. "For dad" If you are confused, read on.
I asked my dad what help that was, her not taking a new one. He explained that they were expensive. We walked as we talked. How much? $20 a pack.
My sister didn't take a new one, so my dad could have an extra. For some reason this seemed so... Sad. Or something.
This explains more of the bad condition life was in. We had to save the little money we had to care for a new baby, and buy these gloves for our faces, on top of all the money we had to pay for treatment of our past injuries.
Speaking of, I had gotten a fake leg attached to my amputated one. It was one like Eli has, a curved rod. Sinse I still could pivot my knee, walking was easy with it.
About the baby... (This part get's weird) Sinse Mom died after the birth, we had to... Inject some kind of femal hormones (I am guessing) into my fathers chest so he could breast feed. Except, to my luck, I was the one getting it in the dream. I felt the needle peirce my chest area, and it was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever felt in a dream. And it was done again for the other 'pectoral muscle'.
But that didn't really have anything to do with what this dream was dreampt for.
So, this dream left me with some kind of respect for the people that are handicapped, and a new love for my father. I felt so sorry for him in the dream, and I am now going to be closer to him. I am glad I had this dream, even though it was very emotionally painful, thinking back on it today.
I want to say more, but I can't remember what.
EDIT: Ah. I also learned big-time, to be EXTREMELY grateful for what you have. Again, most of you may not agree, but I felt very low in this dream.
Be thankful for your health. For having a computer, and a family. For your wealth, friends, talents, and knowledge. Not everyone is like this. And some people have had all this, and then lost it. I felt like this in the dream. Just be thankful, and never ask for more.
To leave some room for discussion... Has anyone else ever had a dream where you had such a... revelation?
-I wish I was a better writer, because I don't feel this post explained why I feel so deeply about this-
