We lost another one, RIP Operational
- Thread starter taviow
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13LACKBISHOP
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It saddens me greatly hearing about this even though I never knew him very well. I hope I will not have to hear about anything like this again any time soon. He will be missed by many. Rip
Raziaar
I Hate Custom Titles
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bvgasm did not have the dancing cow avatar. That is me, and I am still with us. He had a black mesa avatar, at least for part of the time.
Acepilotf14
Sucked so much dick for this title
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Whoa whoa whoa, how did I miss this.
This just ****ing sucks.
Good Starcraft games with him..man.
This just ****ing sucks.
Good Starcraft games with him..man.
MorganFreeman911
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How the hell did I miss this?! RIP Man 
I never knew him too well, but I know he was a great guy.
I never knew him too well, but I know he was a great guy.
VirusType2
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;(;(;(
Reginald
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Ah jeez, come back here for the first time in a few months and this is the first piece of news I see. Seriously saddening, I always found him to be one of the better members of the community and I enjoyed the handful of chats I had with him on Steam Chat and the like.
This sucks. My thoughts are with his family but also with his friends, both virtual and in real life.
This sucks. My thoughts are with his family but also with his friends, both virtual and in real life.
Ennui
The Freeman
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Probably the God of Irony will intervene, and Stern will outlive us all. In the end, he'll be posting here all alone, but won't even realize it because he'll be so senile and mentally decrepit.
CptStern
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that's pretty much what's happening atm anyways ...except I'm not decrepit
Slug Advisor
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Wow, I came back a few days ago and have been lurking since, but I haven't noticed this till now. That really is sad, I genuinely liked Operational, though I never knew him closely.
Kadayi
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Having absented from hl2.net for the better part of a year, I come to this tragic news afresh.
I won't claim a close gaming relationship with Operational (we were separated by continents and time zones to a degree to make gaming together a near impossibility), however in the spirit of gamers we did come together during one Steam Christmas sale (2008 iirc) with me gifting him the Rockstar games pack (GTA1 -3 & Max Payne games) to bypass the god awful issues of Australian censorship he faced.
I hadn't thought through what I wanted in exchange and initially opted for Company of Heroes, however the game wasn't Steam available in Aus, so we went through the available list through chat and eventually I settled on Hitman:Blood Money upon his recommendation, although at the time I wasn't overly sure whether I'd enjoy it (previous experience of a demo of one of the earlier titles had left me unimpressed it has to be said). However I must say I really got into it, and it actually turned me back onto 3rd person games again. Which resulted in much further purchasing of assorted 3rd person titles since (The tomb raiders, Splinter Cells, Prince of Persias and Assassins creeds).
Albeit our exchanges were limited afterwards (the occasional chat now and then on Steam), I hope that he gained some pleasure from the GTA games, and enjoyed giving the Aus government the FU they so richly deserve. Operational you shall be missed, and you've left me both richer (in terms of games experienced) and (financially) poorer (as my games collection has ballooned to enormo proportions) over that simple little Christmas exchange.
Kad
I won't claim a close gaming relationship with Operational (we were separated by continents and time zones to a degree to make gaming together a near impossibility), however in the spirit of gamers we did come together during one Steam Christmas sale (2008 iirc) with me gifting him the Rockstar games pack (GTA1 -3 & Max Payne games) to bypass the god awful issues of Australian censorship he faced.
I hadn't thought through what I wanted in exchange and initially opted for Company of Heroes, however the game wasn't Steam available in Aus, so we went through the available list through chat and eventually I settled on Hitman:Blood Money upon his recommendation, although at the time I wasn't overly sure whether I'd enjoy it (previous experience of a demo of one of the earlier titles had left me unimpressed it has to be said). However I must say I really got into it, and it actually turned me back onto 3rd person games again. Which resulted in much further purchasing of assorted 3rd person titles since (The tomb raiders, Splinter Cells, Prince of Persias and Assassins creeds).
Albeit our exchanges were limited afterwards (the occasional chat now and then on Steam), I hope that he gained some pleasure from the GTA games, and enjoyed giving the Aus government the FU they so richly deserve. Operational you shall be missed, and you've left me both richer (in terms of games experienced) and (financially) poorer (as my games collection has ballooned to enormo proportions) over that simple little Christmas exchange.
Kad
Sulkdodds
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In case this drops down the page - although looking at the state of activity here, that might not be for years - a quick note.
I read this again today because I got an email about it. It was maybe about a 5% chance I actually read the email. But I did read the email and I did click the link and I did go, shit, I remember this, and read about it again.
here's what really punched me in the gut:
This is exactly what I did several times over the last couple of years during periods where I was most depressed and suicidal. Cutting off contact, replacing your Facebook picture with an image of TV static, whatever it might be - there is this urge to just erase yourself, to take yourself out of social networks, to wipe yourself away.
And that same urge means that if you see someone doing that and you contact them and say, hey, are you okay, they might not respond to you and might not wish to acknowledge a social connection with anyone whatsoever. But the only reason I am posting here is because sometimes they will, and sometimes it will matter, and sometimes lives get saved by very small things. And I would just urge you to reach out where you can, if you can, when you can, because it might be important.
peace
I read this again today because I got an email about it. It was maybe about a 5% chance I actually read the email. But I did read the email and I did click the link and I did go, shit, I remember this, and read about it again.
here's what really punched me in the gut:
This is exactly what I did several times over the last couple of years during periods where I was most depressed and suicidal. Cutting off contact, replacing your Facebook picture with an image of TV static, whatever it might be - there is this urge to just erase yourself, to take yourself out of social networks, to wipe yourself away.
And that same urge means that if you see someone doing that and you contact them and say, hey, are you okay, they might not respond to you and might not wish to acknowledge a social connection with anyone whatsoever. But the only reason I am posting here is because sometimes they will, and sometimes it will matter, and sometimes lives get saved by very small things. And I would just urge you to reach out where you can, if you can, when you can, because it might be important.
peace
taviow
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Hey guys,
I just happened to return here today, since I suddenly started thinking about Op again, as it happens every once in a while, and by luck I got the chance to read your advice. Thank you for your words.
I've been through a lot in the past few years. Switched to a different school, found new IRL friends who I love so much and I'm intimate with in a way I had never been with friends before, joined a band, decided to take my life in an entirely different direction from the one I was it taking before. It has been insane and I'll always be grateful for that.
The changes I went through at times proved to be too much for me to deal with, as I felt the need to step away from some parts of my life in order to handle it all, like I did from these forums. Funny how I thought I'd absolutely never leave when I made this thread 4 years ago. Life just never ceases to surprise me.
One thing that I felt back then that remains true today is that I read these posts you guys make and I still do care about you all. I also still remember and care deeply about Op. I think about these forums sometimes, and I fondly remember all of you. Thanks again for everything.
I'm also thankful to say that, even though I only read them today, in a way I've managed to take Sulk's words to heart these past 4 years. Op's death had a deep effect on me that I still feel today, and I believe I always will. I attempted to turn these feelings into something positive, into caring about people and how they're feeling. I talk to them and try to help them. If they're in pain, I find myself feeling their pain, and I just have to help them however I can. Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes I'm unable to help, but thankfully there were times I succeeded. Nothing makes me feel better.
I wish I had this mindset back then. I talked to Steven just about every day, and I still find myself wondering what I could've done differently. I realize it's pointless now, but it's something that's hard for me to let go of. All that I can say is that at least today I have the courage to help someone who's in pain, the will to face it together, instead of running away or ignoring it as I once did. It feels strange, but I find myself caring deeply about people, be them friends, family or even strangers, when I once honestly cared nothing, about anyone.
It's been a crazy and confusing ride, and I want to thank you all once more for everything. You guys remain in my heart, although I'm not very much present here anymore. Maybe I'll come over and post sometimes.
See you guys.
I just happened to return here today, since I suddenly started thinking about Op again, as it happens every once in a while, and by luck I got the chance to read your advice. Thank you for your words.
I've been through a lot in the past few years. Switched to a different school, found new IRL friends who I love so much and I'm intimate with in a way I had never been with friends before, joined a band, decided to take my life in an entirely different direction from the one I was it taking before. It has been insane and I'll always be grateful for that.
The changes I went through at times proved to be too much for me to deal with, as I felt the need to step away from some parts of my life in order to handle it all, like I did from these forums. Funny how I thought I'd absolutely never leave when I made this thread 4 years ago. Life just never ceases to surprise me.
One thing that I felt back then that remains true today is that I read these posts you guys make and I still do care about you all. I also still remember and care deeply about Op. I think about these forums sometimes, and I fondly remember all of you. Thanks again for everything.
I'm also thankful to say that, even though I only read them today, in a way I've managed to take Sulk's words to heart these past 4 years. Op's death had a deep effect on me that I still feel today, and I believe I always will. I attempted to turn these feelings into something positive, into caring about people and how they're feeling. I talk to them and try to help them. If they're in pain, I find myself feeling their pain, and I just have to help them however I can. Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes I'm unable to help, but thankfully there were times I succeeded. Nothing makes me feel better.
I wish I had this mindset back then. I talked to Steven just about every day, and I still find myself wondering what I could've done differently. I realize it's pointless now, but it's something that's hard for me to let go of. All that I can say is that at least today I have the courage to help someone who's in pain, the will to face it together, instead of running away or ignoring it as I once did. It feels strange, but I find myself caring deeply about people, be them friends, family or even strangers, when I once honestly cared nothing, about anyone.
It's been a crazy and confusing ride, and I want to thank you all once more for everything. You guys remain in my heart, although I'm not very much present here anymore. Maybe I'll come over and post sometimes.
See you guys.
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It's not likely you'll ever see this, but I'm glad to hear you're doing great.
See you around, taviow.
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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love you
Raziaar
I Hate Custom Titles
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Sad to see this thread get unstickied.
As weird as it may still seem, I still think about bvasgm and operational on a near daily basis, and get emotional when I think about them. I didn't know them as well as I would have liked, but they were friends in this group of friends we had here and it's painful to have them gone. Part of what hit me so hard I think is how young they were, and the two very different, frightening ways that they left us.
As someone who lost his uncle to suicide nearly two years ago, and his father from awfully tragic brain cancer just five months ago, I take solace in the fact that if I can't stop thinking about these two forum members who died so many years ago, I can't imagine ever going a day forgetting about or losing touch with how I felt about my dad, uncle or any other loved ones I lose along the way.
As weird as it may still seem, I still think about bvasgm and operational on a near daily basis, and get emotional when I think about them. I didn't know them as well as I would have liked, but they were friends in this group of friends we had here and it's painful to have them gone. Part of what hit me so hard I think is how young they were, and the two very different, frightening ways that they left us.
As someone who lost his uncle to suicide nearly two years ago, and his father from awfully tragic brain cancer just five months ago, I take solace in the fact that if I can't stop thinking about these two forum members who died so many years ago, I can't imagine ever going a day forgetting about or losing touch with how I felt about my dad, uncle or any other loved ones I lose along the way.
Ennui
The Freeman
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I didn't know Operational very well outside of the forum (we were Steam friends but didn't really interact a ton outside of HL2net)... but I was pretty good friends with bvasgm and I still think about him a lot. His birthday was 2 days away from mine and we'd always wish each other happy birthday so I always think about it in mid-April especially. Mostly about how completely unfair it is that I'm 26 and living my life while he died in a stupid freak accident (got hit by a car) when he was a freshman in university 8 years ago and never got a chance to go further.
I've lost people IRL too (I'm sure some of you remember when I posted about my mom passing away back in 2008) and the common theme is just to be thankful for who you have right now and make the best out of the time you have with other people, because you don't know when that chance might randomly disappear.
I've lost people IRL too (I'm sure some of you remember when I posted about my mom passing away back in 2008) and the common theme is just to be thankful for who you have right now and make the best out of the time you have with other people, because you don't know when that chance might randomly disappear.
Tollbooth Willie
The Freeman
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holy **** I forgot about that. I see Nick's family post to his page sometimes, tho. It burned being a newbie looking up to an amazing vet like him previously. Can't imagine what a personal friendship loss was like. I love you, Chris.
