Will Oblivion Run On My Toaster?

JNightshade

JNightshade

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Ok, here's the deal. I have a Black-n-Decker Toast-O-Matic 350 with HT (hyper-toasting), overcooked to 400 megawatts. My video card is a cherry pop tart, slightly overcooked to get the performance juuuust right. My system is running 2 gigs of jam. I'm running a stock power supply (the plug in the wall) and I have no cooling whatsoever... as it is a toaster. So, will it run, and if so, how deliciously?
 
Mmmmmmmm toaster PC :D

Hardware_the-overclocker_toaster1.jpg


Careful you don't OC too far!

HPIM1416.jpg
 
JNightshade said:
Ok, here's the deal. I have a Black-n-Decker Toast-O-Matic 350 with HT (hyper-toasting), overcooked to 400 megawatts. My video card is a cherry pop tart, slightly overcooked to get the performance juuuust right. My system is running 2 gigs of jam. I'm running a stock power supply (the plug in the wall) and I have no cooling whatsoever... as it is a toaster. So, will it run, and if so, how deliciously?
Click to expand...

Alright first, you're gonna need to replace the toaster springs. That model is just so 3 minutes ago. Next, make sure the timer is at least 4 minutes or else you'll be getting jaggies all over the place. It should taste like a toaster strudel with icing on top if your lucky.
 
I'm afraid your toaster is in the 'outdated list'.

Soz 'ard.

You will not be able to run Oblivion on your toaster.

You see, the 350 HT Toast-0-Matic is a bottle neck in your system. Making your overcooked cherry pop tart obsolete.

*note* I do not recommend overcooking without sufficient cooling. You are playing a very dangerous game.

I suggest buying some thermal Margerine paste, and applying it generously over your tarts core. Then you can attach the latest kitchen-sink and fan.

With the performance boost you will see from your improved cherry tart, you may well be able to run Oblivion on your toaster. But I still suggest upgrading the 350 HT for any serious differences to your toasting system.
 
Empty it regularily, you don't want crumbs mucking up your toaster!
 
Bad things might happen if you want to try and run Oblivion on a toaster .....

toastr1.jpg
 
Bahahahahhahah



I dont care what the **** anyone else thinks.


This thread is hillarious. Might be cos i'm pissed.... really pissed... but meh. :D
 
Well it depends on what kind of toaster it is. Here's a thought: stick the disc in the toaster, turn it on, and see if it works.
 
Alright rosseh, I took your advice. Margarine has been liberally applied to the tart's core, and I installed a reeally nice cooling system by Sears (the pic is here) to keep my poptart from having a meltdown.
 
JNightshade said:
Ok, here's the deal. I have a Black-n-Decker Toast-O-Matic 350 with HT (hyper-toasting), overcooked to 400 megawatts. My video card is a cherry pop tart, slightly overcooked to get the performance juuuust right. My system is running 2 gigs of jam. I'm running a stock power supply (the plug in the wall) and I have no cooling whatsoever... as it is a toaster. So, will it run, and if so, how deliciously?
Click to expand...

:eek:

That's a lot of jam ... how do you manage to fit it in your toaster?
 
JNightshade said:
My video card is a cherry pop tart
Click to expand...
you might need to upgrade to a Cinnamon poptart, while its alittle less expensive than the Strawberry and therefore less powerful, it still will do you fine :)
 
Dont forget about the OJ, Window's new Ruby Red Vista is coming out next month, might help things go down faster.
 
First you must update your drivers. Then run water.exe over your pop tarts and insert tarts into toaster to install "Steam". Wait 2-3 hours for that to update, then delete clientregistry.blob, and replace with clientJAM.blob, or clientJAM.gloop. Now cover to prevent "stutterbug" from attacking it, and dowload "Lost Toast" while waiting. Finally, enter DM, and kick the toaster around your house yelling "PWNED!, LOL!, FAG!" etc.
 
Im pleased to see you've taken my advice and installed adequate cooling.

There is nothing worse than firing up your Toast-0-Matic, only to have some overcooked tart burn the roof of your mouth.
 
Yeah.


And in response to the recommendation that I upgrade my video card:

while Cinnamon is indeed faster, it's not an enormous difference, and Cherry is FAR more stable (more advanced frosting cooling system). And Strawberries are prone to burning out prematurely.
 
I heard there's a bug causing Steam to come out when you put a CD/DVD in your toaster model. You may have to reinstall Steam afterwards. Don't forget to backup!
 
JNightshade said:
Yeah.


And in response to the recommendation that I upgrade my video card:

while Cinnamon is indeed faster, it's not an enormous difference, and Cherry is FAR more stable (more advanced frosting cooling system). And Strawberries are prone to burning out prematurely.
Click to expand...
What about Blueberry? I've heard that they give a great performance boost while keeping stability, but of course, you must pay some more money. But hey, you want the best for your Toster-O-Matic, right?
 
CyberPitz said:
What about Blueberry? I've heard that they give a great performance boost while keeping stability, but of course, you must pay some more money. But hey, you want the best for your Toster-O-Matic, right?
Click to expand...
Are you daft? Blueberries cost pieces of people! But if you're serious in buying a Blueberry, I'd recommend the 7800 GTX (Great Toasting XTREME). They have HUMONGOUS FPS (Food Per Second).
 
Remember to make sure your toaster has wireless push-down-springy thingy and electrical power pack for maximum efficiancy.
 
I need to buy a new ****ing toaster. My current one's using a hovis card and around 512 of peanut butter (which I'm ****ing glad I bought cause it's the equivalent of like 760 of jam and far more stablet to boot). But it's not enough. :(
 
My X550 Toaster Oven BFG pwnz j00 all!!1
 
I'd like to propose a toast to JNightshade.

...I appologise for that.
 
I've got a top-o'-teh-line toaster with the latest springs and 4 gigs of jam. But the case and style are so out-dated, just look:
toaster.gif

4_slice_toaster.JPG

Can anyone help?
 
You know, Peanut Butter is indeed great, but I'm using apricot jam. Sooooo much faster.
 
You'll be singing a different tune when you foolishly try to run your rig with only 9 control rods and the negative void co-efficient on the heating coils starts ****ing up your cooling system with air bubbles which cause a temporary power surge when you're trying to scram it because it's getting too hot and you get a big mother****er hole blown in the side of your TPU exposing the glowing coils and flaming toast slices for all to see and beaming out Herzog radiation making your wallpaper all radiactive and shit then you have to pump up the SRV, totally shut the 900 down so it stops the airflow. By that time it'll be too late and you'll have a fuel fire going in the pile, and you'll be trying to put it out but too late! Your toast just reached critical mass and now the 5km surrounding your house are splattered with highly radiactive jam!

GG.
 
I suggest getting a top of the line Smuckerboard, as that will give you much better performance.
 
I suggest replacing the nichrome wires, even though some people swear the Albert Marsh originals are the best I beg to differ. Newer-gen nichrome wires just feel more sturdy to me.

I also might suggest a stronger cooling unit, I personally use an Aviadvigatel PS90, if its good enough for the Russians its good enough for me.



There's a picture of the intake, even with all that I still hover around 80 degrees celsius idle
 
Well, anything's good enough for the Russians. As an aural perfectionist, my toaster must run extremely quietly. That thing is deafening. My fridge cools it perfectly, without damaging my neighbors' ears.
 
Well, who cares about your neighbours? They can wear headphones.
 
Wow, I wasn't all that hyped about Vista but it sure makes good toast!
 
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