Worst Pickup Lines Ever

Calanen

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Do you know some really bad pickup lines that people have used, or have you used them yourself?

I remember Mark DeCarlo (used to host the forgettable Gameshow 'Studs') doing another show where he was filmed using ridiculous pickup lines including:

- 'Hey, I'm actually Kevin Costner, I am wearing makeup and a disguise so you can't tell'

- 'Do you like baseball? Thats good - I was hoping you could help me hit a home run tonight.'

The surfies at school, not seriously used to say:

' Your mom's a thief! She stole the stars and put them in your eyes.'

'Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?'

Ages ago I remember reading that a study showed that the best pickup line statistically was something like 'Hey Im a little embarassed about just coming over - but I'd really like to meet you, my name is X.' 'Hey hows it going, my name is X' probably workds too. You usually get an idea whether its a good move to keep talking after that point or slowly move away....

Recently some American girls interrupted a conversation I was having with a buddy to introduce themselves to us. Which is kind of rare. One girl said 'Are you guys talking business or can you talk to us girls as well?' I think probably girls are likely to say stuff that is a lot more sensible than guys - just a hunch.

But if you have some examples, of girls or guys using dreadful pickup lines - let's hear em.
 
Hehehe... there was this cute girl in my English class. I went up to her and said

"Did it hurt?"

She replied, "What, when I fell from heaven?"

I didn't like her tone of voice, so I said "No... when you fell into hell."
 
"I just bought a boat, you wanna be my first mate?"

Pick up a little pack of sugar that says "Sugar" on it. Then go up to the girl and say "Hey, you dropped your nametag."

"Hey, my friend over there wants to know if you think I'm hot."
 
Teh_Poet said:
Hehehe... there was this cute girl in my English class. I went up to her and said

"Did it hurt?"

She replied, "What, when I fell from heaven?"

I didn't like her tone of voice, so I said "No... when you fell into hell."

lol, how did she respond? :p
 
Hey baby, wanna do something you'll regret in the morning?
 
Pick up a little pack of sugar that says "Sugar" on it. Then go up to the girl and say "Hey, you dropped your nametag."

That made me laugh out loud :LOL: I've never heard that one before.
 
See a girl at the bar walk up to the bar and ask the bartender for ice... place the ice on the bar and smash it as hard as you can with you fist... turn to the girl and say "Now that i have broken the ice can i have your number"

;)
 
burnzie said:
See a girl at the bar walk up to the bar and ask the bartender for ice... place the ice on the bar and smash it as hard as you can with you fist... turn to the girl and say "Now that i have broken the ice can i have your number"

;)
You could throw it at her face too. Same effect.
 
Or just punch her in the ovarys.

Right in the baby makers.
 
Worst pick up line ever- Yo bitch get in my ride and well smoke some blunts then well get freaky and Ill ditch you!


It never works
 
Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and [**** you]. How do like them apples?

Haha google told me that one.
 
Sit by the girl at the bar and says:

"Hey, my name is <insert name here>, what's yours?"

She will reply with her name and after that stare into her eyes. Just stare deeply into her eyes for a while. Then tell her you just ripped a silent fart and if she doesn't want to gag to death she better move.
 
"I wish you were a door, so I could b*** you all day"

/SLAP!
 
I'm trying to think of a four letter bad word that starts with b.
 
Pressure said:
I'm trying to think of a four letter bad word that starts with b.

bang isn't a bad word... unless it is in that context :D
 
I would have never guessed the word bang from what you had given me. Why censor it?
 
I thought it was nasty :D

"Hey! Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

"Girl, you're so hot your file extension should be .fap!"
 
"My favourite game is Half-Life 2, what's yours?"
 
MarcoPollo said:
Worst pick up line ever- Yo bitch get in my ride and well smoke some blunts then well get freaky and Ill ditch you!


It never works
rotf :LOL:
I hope you've never tried that one...
 
I once said to a girl once, "I hope you know CPR 'cause you take my breathe away". I got slapped for it.
 
Me: Hey baby whats ur name
Chic:(says name)
Me: Shut up, you think I care what your name is? Lets have sex.

/promptly gets killed
 
All pick up lines are not shit, some do work, but it depends on how you "execute" it
 
You're right, how you execute it is very important - if you deliver a chat-up line with a degree of irony, then that could be ok. However why spew a crappy line that you didn't think of, that they may have already heard, when you could just say "Hi" and introduce yourself. Seriously - that works a lot better. And you look like less of a wanker.
Relying on chat-up lines isn't the greatest idea, in my opinion.
 
"I'm a premature ejaculator! Oh, damn! What I meant to say was 'Hi'."
 
Ranga said:
"I'm a premature ejaculator! Oh, damn! What I meant to say was 'Hi'."
In the most childish way imaginable, I find it pretty funny that the literal meaning of ejaculate is similar to exclaim. Reading older books on my English course, it's pretty funny to read something along the lines of:

"Archie hurried into the room. All eyes turned to him as he ejaculated in a loud voice..."
 
boy- "hey beautiful you want a screw?"
girl - "Huh what the.."
b- "Come on everyone needs a screw"
g- "Eh..."
b- (produces a screw) "well here you are - enjoy your screw!"

its been done - to devastating effect!
 
john3571000 said:
boy- "hey beautiful you want a screw?"
girl - "Huh what the.."
b- "Come on everyone needs a screw"
g- "Eh..."
b- (produces a screw) "well here you are - enjoy your screw!"

its been done - to devastating effect!

/me tries it out

SLAP!

:angry:
 
One that my mate's brother tried - not necessarily just a chat-up line, it's a way to strike up conversation with anyone I suppose:
"I've got a Ferrari. Wanna see it?" *Produces toy Ferrari*
It works apparently.
 
Never said or heard these, but they're funny just the same:

"Do you like jewelry, because my cock's a gem."

"Can you drive? Then back onto this."

"Hi, I've got a foot-long tongue and i can breath through my ears. Just thought you'd like to know."
 
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