Worst Pickup Lines Ever

[CREMATOR666]

Never said or heard these, but they're funny just the same:

"Do you like jewelry, because my cock's a gem."

"Can you drive? Then back onto this."

"Hi, I've got a foot-long tongue and i can breath through my ears. Just thought you'd like to know."

I'll go try the last one

 

[oldagerocker]

"hi You Look Like Luna Wanna Play Final Fantasy With Me And I Don't Mean The Game Boooyaaa!"

 

[Ranga]

"hi You Look Like Luna Wanna Play Final Fantasy With Me And I Don't Mean The Game Boooyaaa!"

/me watches as oldagerocker smacks Garfield in the cerebral membrane.

Nasty

 

[oldagerocker]

One of my personal Favs but not one i've used;

"YUO NOT ALLOWED TO TALK!"

 

[lePobz]

voulez-vous coucher avec moi ... ce soir?

 

[SLH]

voulez-vous coucher avec moi ... ce soir?

Traditional, but it get's the message across.

 

[el Chi]

voulez-vous coucher avec moi ... ce soir?

Non, parce que tu est un putain et tu as une visage comme merde.

 

[JellyWorld]

Non, parce que tu est un putain et tu as une visage comme merde.

What does merde mean?

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

I think, damn, would be a good translation of that.


Edit: I tried to be nice...Oh well.

 

[lePobz]

What does merde mean?

You're not serious are you?

It means sh*t. He called me a whore and said my face looks like merde.

People can be so cruel!

/me bursts into tears

 

[CREMATOR666]

Y a-t-il quelqu'un ici qui parle anglais? :hmph:

 

[alehm]

What does merde mean?

merde means "poo poo".


As far as worst pick up lines....


"You might not be the best looking girl here, but a few more beers I might can get past your face."

"I beat Half Life 2 in 7 hours at the most difficult settings and didn't die once. I found the lack of variety of enemies and lack of weapons annoying and the game was too short. Also I didn't see the E3 levels in the game. Also the Gmans teeth are too white and when I shot wood in the game the boards did not splinter realistically. Wanna go out with me? I am so wise."

"You might not think I am that good looking, but if you notice I am the only guy willing to talk to you."

"I got new socks on!"

"Your parents must be retarded because you are special."

"You must be Jamaican, cause baby Jamaican me crazy."

"I have always wanted to make me a suit out of womens flesh. Would you like to go back to my place and I will put you in a pit and starve you until your skin gets saggy and then I will use you to make my dreams come true?"

 

[The Monkey]

"Nice legs, when do they open?"

 

[CREMATOR666]

"Nice legs, when do they open?"

Your avatar is a lot less cute ;(

 

[Murray_H]

I don't need chat up lines, not with these guns.

Then you kiss your arms.

 

[The Monkey]

Your avatar is a lot less cute ;(

it's the old one... can you find a better monkey picture?

 

[Murray_H]

it's the old one... can you find a better monkey picture?

http://money.cnn.com/2003/09/04/pf/saving/pepsi_monkey_game/monkey.03.jpg

 

[burnzie]

"Why hello thar purrty laydee... i'd like to extend to you an invite to the pants party."

 

[el Chi]

You're not serious are you?

It means sh*t. He called me a whore and said my face looks like merde.

People can be so cruel!

* lePobz bursts into tears

You love it when I talk dirty to you.

 

[ComradeBadger]

'Next time, can I be the pole.. '

That one actually worked.. :O

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

You were picking up a Nazi, thats why.

 

[oldagerocker]

pfft, you stud Badger, pulling pole dancers

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

pfft, you stud Badger, pulling pole dancers

It was a pole volter

 

[el Chi]

You were picking up a Nazi, thats why.

Farrowlesparrow ladies and gentlemen! <Applause> He'll be here all week! <Angry shouting, verbal abuse, rioting, death>

 

[oldagerocker]

haha, strange how he didn't say that himself not that he'd be much of a pole replacement

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

You love it...

I think pretty much every pick up line in existence is poor. I mean, just the concept of the pick up line, is just...wrong.

 

[ComradeBadger]

pfft, you stud Badger, pulling pole dancers

Haha nah this was a girl dancing with me in a tent... she started a poledance .. :E

Anyway:

Actually good thing to say 'Hey, do I know you from somewhere' - just take it from there

 

[The Monkey]

http://money.cnn.com/2003/09/04/pf/saving/pepsi_monkey_game/monkey.03.jpg

I used that...a long time ago.

Fine.

 

[VirusType2]

In the Online game World of Warcraft, you can "flirt"

I was talking to this girl I kinda like, and I used the flirt emotion, and My guy said to her, "eh, your tag is showing, .. it says ,made in heaven"

lol
thats not bad actually. cheesy but good ice breaker

 

[Murray_H]

I used that...a long time ago.

Fine.

it's got a nicer smile than the other one

 

[VirusType2]

Worst pick up line ever- Yo bitch get in my ride and well smoke some blunts then well get freaky and Ill ditch you!


It never works

The day I grew up and stoped talking like that was the last time I got laid.

If you lose the "ditch you" part and maybe substitute "bitch" for "baby", you have the perfect line - if you are young enough to act like an idiot.

If you say it playfully, you will get some ass. This is the ultimate line.

 

[CREMATOR666]

You were picking up a Nazi, thats why.

ACHTUNG!!!!!!!

 

[Murray_H]

pfft, you stud Badger, pulling pole dancers

yes! that makes me a stud too then

 

[The Monkey]

it's got a nicer smile than the other one

I don't think he has funny at all, but rather was forced to smile by mad scientists.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

What... you two? You both?

Wow I never knew you two were that way inclined Murray_H

 

[CREMATOR666]

"Do you find me attractive?"

 

[el Chi]

yes! that makes me a stud too then

Pulling and paying are two different things.


I should know; I found out the hard way.

 

[Griz]

"Do you fancy a pizza and a f***? No!! Why, dont you like pizza?"

"That dress looks great on you, but i think it'd look even better on my bedroom floor."

"You don't sweat much for a fat lass" - did that one for a dare and nearly got the shit kicked out of me!!

 

[pr0nking]

Best chat up line is:

"Hey guys I need a female opinion...Do you think David Bowie is hot? I mean my little sister is 12 and she put up a poster of him he's like 50..Do you like older men? You like older men!"

I've used it so many times..1) it catches them off guard.. because u called them guys and if u play it right, you would've had 1 minute of their attention...and thats good for a woman ;D

 

[PvtRyan]

Pickup lines? Why?! All you need is a big blunt object (a wooden club will do) and a cave (some bushes will do fine too) to drag her into by her hair.

PS: Apparently it's illegal