Worst thing you've ever said

One bad thing that I am glad nobody else heard was something I accidentally said to my sister.

She was trying to wake me up to open christmas presents, and I was just being a jerk and messing with her. She would say "Wake up!" I would reply "I'll wake up your face!"

Just one of those nonsense things I say to get on peoples nerves. Then she said "Come on!", and before thinking it over I replied with "I'll come on your face!"

I couldnt tell if she knew what it meant, because shes still kinda young, but I was soooo glad nobody else heard that one.
 
Mikael Grizzly said:
During an RPG session, in a horror setting. Mood set, everyone immersed entirely, viral contamination of characters...

So, they managed to find the antidotes. The NPC was supposed to say "Guard them with your life", but it turned out "Guard them with your wife". Needless to say, the whole atmosphere was ruined and killed.

I died that day.
Click to expand...

That really might have been the nerdiest thing I've ever read.

Anyway, I've said some pretty mean things to people I don't really like and don't feel bad about it at all.

However, the worst thing I've done ... recently ... happened when I brought my N64 to play Perfect Dark with some friends, one of whom was black. I hadn't played the game in awhile and I left the memory card thing that plugs into the controller in. My nephew had used that to save his game, which he of course named n*gger. I felt like the biggest asshole on the face of the planet.

In addition I've gotten drunk and called this annoying girl that apparently liked me an ugly slut (for the record both were true). That I feel kinda bad about.

One thing that in retrospect was somewhat mean, but **** it, I'm still proud of it was tormenting a friend of mine for ages because of a picture in the yearbook. You see, it was the team basketball photo and he had clearly popped a boner ... and not a particularly impressive one.
 
JNightshade said:
"It's like I'm miscarrying a mucus baby in my throat."
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Krynn72 said:
She was trying to wake me up to open christmas presents, and I was just being a jerk and messing with her. She would say "Wake up!" I would reply "I'll wake up your face!"

Just one of those nonsense things I say to get on peoples nerves. Then she said "Come on!", and before thinking it over I replied with "I'll come on your face!"
Click to expand...
Dear god these are hilarious :D

OK, worst thing I can think of that happened recently, even though it's not all that bad:

My mom and I were talking in the kitchen, I forget about what, and my littler brother came in and started making a sandwich, and didn't put anything back where it belonged. My mom tells him "You know, it'd be nice if you could put everything back like you're supposed to."

So I reply, jokingly: "You know, it'd be nice if YOU could make me a sandwich like every woman is supposed to."
 
Once my parents told me to tune down a bit the volume of my huge stereo and I told them I hated them and cried while I listened to Simple Plan and slit my wrists cause my life's unfair and my make up got ruined omg what a bad day that was.
 
Stigmata said:
Dear god these are hilarious :D

OK, worst thing I can think of that happened recently, even though it's not all that bad:

My mom and I were talking in the kitchen, I forget about what, and my littler brother came in and started making a sandwich, and didn't put anything back where it belonged. My mom tells him "You know, it'd be nice if you could put everything back like you're supposed to."

So I reply, jokingly: "You know, it'd be nice if YOU could make me a sandwich like every woman is supposed to."
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HAHAHHAHAHHA WOW

You must have got slapped into next week. Classic
 
This is more of what I did rather then said.
I was getting in my car one morning and I was in a realy bad mood,all of a sudden 2 kis pop up from behind a wall with like 4 million snowballs.I got so angry that I called them words I never even heard off!,but they just laughed..,so I went inside and got a homemade crossbow (yes,a crossbow)that me and my dad made.I came back out and I shot one of the kids in the ****ing face!!

It was an accedent,I ment to shoot him in the belly...
btw,the arrow wasent pointed.
 
It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.
 
Cracking a "Yo Mama" joke at a kid whilst unaware that his mother was actually dead.
 
Oh, just remembered something absolutely horrible.

Some of you might know that my dad passed away about 6 months ago. Well, I was over at my friend's place about two months after the fact, and we were for some reason watching that show The War At Home. The nerdy outcast kid came on in one of those "conscious thought" shots, just him in a big white space, complaining about how he couldn't get a girl to save his life.

So my friend looks over at me, laughing and says, "Hey Dave, this guy is exactly like you. ... Except, you know, he has a dad."

I lol'd, but it was still hilariously awful.
 
Stigmata said:
So I reply, jokingly: "You know, it'd be nice if YOU could make me a sandwich like every woman is supposed to."
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But seriously, I say that stuff jokingly and my mom will just laugh she knows I don't mean it...it wasn't THAT bad a thing you said....
 
When I was small, I told my grandma that I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up and dig up dinosaurs and shit in Africa. She said she would come to visit me, to which I replied: "You'll be dead by then".
 
Not something I said but something a teacher at school said a few years ago. You must note that the other teacher's name was not Mohammed.

The teacher was talking about something and an Indian teacher comes in to give him a note. As the other guy's leaving the room our teacher shouts "Thanks, Mohammed!". We all cringe and he goes "What? He likes it. They're all called something like that anyway!" He then realised he had been horribly racist and turned to the other teacher who just looked really angry and walked out of the room. It's bad because our teacher was actually a nice guy and just seemed to say the wrong thing all the time.
 
Eek D:

Anyway, I remembered another great one. A year ago, my aunt was telling me about a friend of hers who was involved in a freak accident and ended up in a coma for like a year. She was going on about how faithful her husband was, staying by her side the entire time. She finished up by saying "they were such a great couple."

Being me, I immediately burst out "well, at least he was".
 
I said bullcrapping on national radio once.
 
I told my mom "F*ck you! I don't need you anymore!" once.

I felt like a useless piece of shit that day.

People, never make that mistake. Make sure you show your parents you care about them.
 
Fifteen soon biznatch.....*psst* Gabbles....Now...We search chan for more stories yes?
 
A few years ago, I was out with this polish family eating at a nice restaurant, and we were having a great time, laughing at eachothers jokes. Eventually, the mother of the family goes "Yeah, us polish people have always been humourus and easy going people"..

Before a single thought goes through my head, I blurt out "So you were like laughing and joking in the gas chambers?"

The following minutes we were just completely silent. :|
 
I don't think it's defined as "saying", but...

Well, here goes. I was on my confirmation camp. One of the leaders told about some accident with some relative to him. It seems the relative had died. He was clearly crying when talking about it.

I didn't care much about it. I found it awkward. I looked at the others sitting close to me. We were grinning. Suddenly we couldn't hold ourselves and chuckled.

It wasn't that he was crying or anything, it's just I suddenly felt like laughing. There was no reason to it.

I didn't know it back then, but later I came to realise what an ass I must have been.
 
"I Do."





Or not. Worst thing I ever said was probably when I was ten or something to a kid who'd lost his mom recently (meaning she died, he didn't lose her like he didn't know where she was), we were in wood workshop in school in november and a few of us were talking about what we were making, and I said I was making a CD rack for my mother (you all kinda see where this is going, right?), where upon the kid said he was making the same thing, and I asked; "For your mom?" Whereupon a reaaaaally uncomfortable silence followed, and about half-way in I remembered he didn't have a mom no more... Felt kinda like a dick that day.
 
CrazyHarij said:
A few years ago, I was out with this polish family eating at a nice restaurant, and we were having a great time, laughing at eachothers jokes. Eventually, the mother of the family goes "Yeah, us polish people have always been humourus and easy going people"..

Before a single thought goes through my head, I blurt out "So you were like laughing and joking in the gas chambers?"

The following minutes we were just completely silent. :|
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:LOL:

Ouch.
 
Before a single thought goes through my head, I blurt out "So you were like laughing and joking in the gas chambers?"
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LOL, wow... lmao...


ROFL
Thats awesome!


idk the worst thing I ever said.... I once told this fat girl that wouldn't stop annoying me, "Your fat and should get a life".
Ooo theres this really annoying 6th grade kid on my bus, on the rare times I ride, that gets made fun of all the time and uhh I learned he doesn't have a dad. So he was being annoying and cocky so I went and sat right next to him, and in a serious voice I told him... "Look, it's ok kid. Your dad didn't leave your mom because he didn't love her, he left her because of you."


Also this one time when I was a kid we were playing this gun game in a big house with all the nights off. There was one black kid. Anyway, the other team wanted one more person... so I yelled back "You have reko(the black kid), we can't see him the in dark!".
 
CrazyHarij said:
A few years ago, I was out with this polish family eating at a nice restaurant, and we were having a great time, laughing at eachothers jokes. Eventually, the mother of the family goes "Yeah, us polish people have always been humourus and easy going people"..

Before a single thought goes through my head, I blurt out "So you were like laughing and joking in the gas chambers?"

The following minutes we were just completely silent. :|
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That's hardcore. o__O

;)
 
Look, it's ok kid. Your dad didn't leave your mom because he didn't love her, he left her because of you.
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Awesomeness.
 
CrazyHarij said:
A few years ago, I was out with this polish family eating at a nice restaurant, and we were having a great time, laughing at eachothers jokes. Eventually, the mother of the family goes "Yeah, us polish people have always been humourus and easy going people"..

Before a single thought goes through my head, I blurt out "So you were like laughing and joking in the gas chambers?"

The following minutes we were just completely silent. :|
Click to expand...


...........
 
When i was about 14, me and a few friends were sitting in the school cafeteria enjoying some hot tasty pizza. One of the kids decided to give me some shit and said "so I ****ed you mom last night. Boy was she good." so I say to him "man, I've been ****ing your mom since before you were born. You were the accident created when I didn't wear a condom." I went on with a couple more insults when one of the people I knew leaned in and said "dude, his mom's dead." Not believing what I heard, I said "dude, quit messing with me." and another friend stepped in and said "yeah, his mom really is dead" I tried to apoligize, but the kid I was insulting was about ready to cry. God I felt like a dick for the rest of the day.
 
Sebastian said:
When i was about 14, me and a few friends were sitting in the school cafeteria enjoying some hot tasty pizza. One of the kids decided to give me some shit and said "so I ****ed you mom last night. Boy was she good." so I say to him "man, I've been ****ing your mom since before you were born. You were the accident created when I didn't wear a condom." I went on with a couple more insults when one of the people I knew leaned in and said "dude, his mom's dead." Not believing what I heard, I said "dude, quit messing with me." and another friend stepped in and said "yeah, his mom really is dead" I tried to apoligize, but the kid I was insulting was about ready to cry. God I felt like a dick for the rest of the day.
Click to expand...

Well, it's not like your response was unprovoked
 
Ok, so, I used to go to a Catholic school (yes, catholic schoolgirls rule). Me and my friends had been debating for the past maybe day or two, whether or not black girls had black nipples.

So, to put the issue to rest, I went up to this dark skinned (VERY good looking) girl, and asked her "Tani, are you black?"

Girl responds "No... Why?"

I tell her "No reason".

She goes "No, you've got me interested now"

"No really, it's of no concern"

She goes "Just tell me..."

I go "Ok, I was going to ask you, are your nipples black?"

*pause*

I know i've said worse, but I can't think of anything at the moment.
 
telling my sister she is adopted and she came from hippo... yeah i'm great
 
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