Worst thing you've ever said

PvtRyan said:
When I was small, I told my grandma that I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up and dig up dinosaurs and shit in Africa. She said she would come to visit me, to which I replied: "You'll be dead by then".
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you should have told her that by then you'd be digging up her bones...
 
AKIRA said:
has0112lbs.jpg
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WTF that game use to be called Frustration.. now its called TROUBLE?
 
CrazyHarij said:
A few years ago, I was out with this polish family eating at a nice restaurant, and we were having a great time, laughing at eachothers jokes. Eventually, the mother of the family goes "Yeah, us polish people have always been humourus and easy going people"..

Before a single thought goes through my head, I blurt out "So you were like laughing and joking in the gas chambers?"

The following minutes we were just completely silent. :|
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You're my hero.
 
JNightshade said:
*snrgrblgrbrgldqgb*

Anyway, I say plenty of awful things. One perfect example is me describing the cold I'm going through. My own words:

"It's like I'm miscarrying a mucus baby in my throat."
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Hehe. Whenever I take a really bad dump I always say, "Phew! I just gave birth to a baby!"
 
Had a kid come into our classroom in year 12 once, who was wearing these HUGE glasses. I couldnt see anything wrong with him as he came in (he must have been 10 or 12 at best and i was 18 at the time), and asked our teacher for some books.

After he picked up the books and walked out the door, as it was closing i said out-loud 'should have gone to specsavers mate'...to this day i dont know if he heard me say it.
My teacher turned around and said something along the lines of 'how can you be so cruel, he actually has a major sight problem which is why he wears those specialised glasses'.

Now, if it was anyone who was 'cool' and 'popular'..basically the kind of kid at school you wanted to beat the shite out of infront of everyone and make them cry, i would have made the class laugh. But i instantly got an 'oooohhhhhh' echo around the class. Boy oh boy i must have shrunk and dissapeared into my seat, felt like a right twat.
 
Haha one time we were all laughing at my teacher and a fat kid walked in and thought we were laughing at her.
 
GF: 'I love you.'

ME: 'What?'

silence

a few minutes later

ME: 'how do you know?'
 
There was this time I screamed "DIE ****ER DIE!" at a wake...
 
Mine was during the telletubbies. You don't want to know.
:|
 
Talking with my GF on the phone.
GF - "I miss you Teague"
Me - "I miss you too Lacy"

My gf name was not Lacy........
 
koondrad said:
Ok, how did you manage that?
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With SCIENCE!

No wait, what happened was this: A group of friends and were at the funeral of some guy's ex-girlfriend. Er, not ex- because of death, they had broken up about a year before that and he was still attached, it was this whole thing, whatever.

Anyway, afterwards while we were in the church everyone was standing aruond talking and junk, and the nearby Denver water park (Water World, real creative name-fags) came up. There's this ride there that you go down and it's basically like a huge toilet bowl and you are the shit, and you go flinging round round til you're dropped down the bottom into this pool. There's also a bunch of water guns around the rim where people can shoot those going down, it's great fun. I'm getting more and more excited telling everyone about this and just generally getting more expansive and gesticulating wildly. Then it starts:

Me: And it's just great, everyone's spinning around and you have this CANNON that you can just shoot all these poor bastards and it's like your screaming DIE ****ER DIE!

Some woman at the other side of the church: Oh my God...

I was forced to leave shortly. I apologized to my friend later, but ruined the apology soon after by saying that those hangover cure pills probably work "...by giving you brain cancer instead", which was what the girl had died of.

I have said many horrible things out of enthusiasm D:
 
Greatgat said:
With SCIENCE!

No wait, what happened was this: A group of friends and were at the funeral of some guy's ex-girlfriend. Er, not ex- because of death, they had broken up about a year before that and he was still attached, it was this whole thing, whatever.

Anyway, afterwards while we were in the church everyone was standing aruond talking and junk, and the nearby Denver water park (Water World, real creative name-fags) came up. There's this ride there that you go down and it's basically like a huge toilet bowl and you are the shit, and you go flinging round round til you're dropped down the bottom into this pool. There's also a bunch of water guns around the rim where people can shoot those going down, it's great fun. I'm getting more and more excited telling everyone about this and just generally getting more expansive and gesticulating wildly. Then it starts:

Me: And it's just great, everyone's spinning around and you have this CANNON that you can just shoot all these poor bastards and it's like your screaming DIE ****ER DIE!

Some woman at the other side of the church: Oh my God...

I was forced to leave shortly. I apologized to my friend later, but ruined the apology soon after by saying that those hangover cure pills probably work "...by giving you brain cancer instead", which was what the girl had died of.

I have said many horrible things out of enthusiasm D:
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Buwahaha, that's awesome. "DIE MOTHER****ER DIE!"
keke
 
GF: 'I love you.'

ME: 'What?'

silence

a few minutes later

ME: 'how do you know?'
Click to expand...
I'm gonna say this next time, just to see what\how the other person replies.

Haha one time we were all laughing at my teacher and a fat kid walked in and thought we were laughing at her.
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AWESOME!!!


This is mean towards me..but anyway when I was born..and my sister seen me for the first time. The first thing she said was, "How do we get him back in".


THIS THREAD IS​
AWESOME​
 
Que-Ever said:
Oh my god, it's greatgat! *wubs*
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Que! *explodes in a shower of lust and win*

Anyway, I poke my head in (;)) every once in awhile.

Oh, and I also told my fiancee that her sister is a dirty bitch-dyke that should be burning in hell for her ******ry. I was kidding of course.
 
Greatgat said:
With SCIENCE!

No wait, what happened was this: A group of friends and were at the funeral of some guy's ex-girlfriend. Er, not ex- because of death, they had broken up about a year before that and he was still attached, it was this whole thing, whatever.

Anyway, afterwards while we were in the church everyone was standing aruond talking and junk, and the nearby Denver water park (Water World, real creative name-fags) came up. There's this ride there that you go down and it's basically like a huge toilet bowl and you are the shit, and you go flinging round round til you're dropped down the bottom into this pool. There's also a bunch of water guns around the rim where people can shoot those going down, it's great fun. I'm getting more and more excited telling everyone about this and just generally getting more expansive and gesticulating wildly. Then it starts:

Me: And it's just great, everyone's spinning around and you have this CANNON that you can just shoot all these poor bastards and it's like your screaming DIE ****ER DIE!

Some woman at the other side of the church: Oh my God...

I was forced to leave shortly. I apologized to my friend later, but ruined the apology soon after by saying that those hangover cure pills probably work "...by giving you brain cancer instead", which was what the girl had died of.

I have said many horrible things out of enthusiasm D:
Click to expand...
You are my ****ing hero.
 
Greatgat said:
With SCIENCE!

No wait, what happened was this: A group of friends and were at the funeral of some guy's ex-girlfriend. Er, not ex- because of death, they had broken up about a year before that and he was still attached, it was this whole thing, whatever.

Anyway, afterwards while we were in the church everyone was standing aruond talking and junk, and the nearby Denver water park (Water World, real creative name-fags) came up. There's this ride there that you go down and it's basically like a huge toilet bowl and you are the shit, and you go flinging round round til you're dropped down the bottom into this pool. There's also a bunch of water guns around the rim where people can shoot those going down, it's great fun. I'm getting more and more excited telling everyone about this and just generally getting more expansive and gesticulating wildly. Then it starts:

Me: And it's just great, everyone's spinning around and you have this CANNON that you can just shoot all these poor bastards and it's like your screaming DIE ****ER DIE!

Some woman at the other side of the church: Oh my God...

I was forced to leave shortly. I apologized to my friend later, but ruined the apology soon after by saying that those hangover cure pills probably work "...by giving you brain cancer instead", which was what the girl had died of.

I have said many horrible things out of enthusiasm D:
Click to expand...

thats the funniest thing I have heard in a while
 
lmfao. Greatgat you win! Everything about that post was epic.
 
Big up's to GG, nice one brew ::cheese::

About a year ago after a party, i was blessed with being the bearer of Christ's own hangover. THe morning after the party, my current gf asked me if i would like to fool around for a bit at hers. She is/was the sex, but unfortunatly, i told her to go **** her sister.

At the time, her sister was in a drug induced coma. She was in a coma due to mixing ekkies with glenfiddie (scotch). The ecstacy was supplied by my girlfriend (with my money). She felt responsible and i knew it.

it was a shit of a thing to say. stfu.

we split the next week :(

boohoo :'(
 
I feel glad that I can't remember any situations like these.
 
I've just been talking to a girl on msn who siad her auntie has some serious illness and is going to die. There were a few times in that conversation where I nearly had something to post in this thread, but when you're typing it's easy to see the things that people might take the wrong way and delete them.
 
Greatgat said:
With SCIENCE!

No wait, what happened was this: A group of friends and were at the funeral of some guy's ex-girlfriend. Er, not ex- because of death, they had broken up about a year before that and he was still attached, it was this whole thing, whatever.

Anyway, afterwards while we were in the church everyone was standing aruond talking and junk, and the nearby Denver water park (Water World, real creative name-fags) came up. There's this ride there that you go down and it's basically like a huge toilet bowl and you are the shit, and you go flinging round round til you're dropped down the bottom into this pool. There's also a bunch of water guns around the rim where people can shoot those going down, it's great fun. I'm getting more and more excited telling everyone about this and just generally getting more expansive and gesticulating wildly. Then it starts:

Me: And it's just great, everyone's spinning around and you have this CANNON that you can just shoot all these poor bastards and it's like your screaming DIE ****ER DIE!

Some woman at the other side of the church: Oh my God...

I was forced to leave shortly. I apologized to my friend later, but ruined the apology soon after by saying that those hangover cure pills probably work "...by giving you brain cancer instead", which was what the girl had died of.

I have said many horrible things out of enthusiasm D:
Click to expand...





ROFL!
 
Haha, not really topping some of the things in this thread..

I often call girls slags, affectionately like, but it often gets taken the wrong way :p
 
Never tell a girl this joke : whats the difference between a feminist and a hippo? i can stand too look at a hippo :p
 
or this one:

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?


None- feminists can't change anything.
 
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