You Missed a Patch

[Druckles]

So I've been shaving for a good number of years, now, as have alot of members on this board, I'm sure. This discludes anyone who hasn't had the magical week of growing that first hair really proudly until someone gets so pissed at it that they pull it out, people who have lost their jaw to dogs and people who don't have penii and likes the naturale look. Sure, I don't shave every day, because I'm rather lazy and vague stubble makes me feel all manly and the like, but I still do it regularly, and you'd think after so long that one would have mastered the art, being able to quickly and efficiently remove every offending spike, quelling the numbers that sprout from the surface of your chin.
But that is not the case.

Every single time that I attempt to shave, sitting somewhere, later in the day, such as in front of my computer at the office, stroking my chin in thoughtful brooding, I'll brush my thumb against a patch of hair that escaped my razor. I'll stop and I'll facepalm and I will know that cluster will remain with me throughout the day, advertising how I failed as a man until I can return to my "abode" and rectify the situation. It might not be so bad if I only had to endure the embarrassment once every year, or something as mildly infrequent as that. But no, it happens every goddamn time, no matter how long I spend attempting to perfect it!

I know it's not just me, because I've had conversations with other guys about it before, and there are bound to be girls in here who suffer the same fate. As far as I could tell, the general consensus was that Gillette just wasn't satisfying their consumer market. No, we don't need 6 blades, or 8 different settings, and if I wanted a Fusion, I'd just be buying a damn vibrator. What they really should be making is a giant face razor which shaves you all in one go. Or a hair detector. That'd be much appreciated.

Everyone always complains about cutting yourself, but that only happens if you're not paying attention, and if you're going to complain about it, man up, it's not like you've lost an arm. And smooth skin? If you :angry: wanted smooth skin you wouldn't have grown up in the first place! Women always complain about mens' stubble. One minute it's all "gross" and "wish you'd be smoother", unless of course you have a "chick who digs it". But then the next minute they're telling you that anyone who wants shaved pussy wants to **** an 8 year-old. Wut? Where did that fit into the equation? Stroking 6 year-old boys much? And then, of course, they're going to swoon over someone who practices stubble like Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn), anyway.

But back to the topic at hand, I realised there wasn't a poll on the frequency of your shavings, nor the problems that you have with it, but then I can't do two polls at the same time, so I have to stick with the frequency.

Oh shit, I just found another.

tl;dr: Shaving rant.

- D

Edit: Poll up. And I realised there was no life to this post, so I inserted emoticons at random points.

 

[Dan]

Keep a bic with you at work. Or trim it with a pair of scissors.

 

[Krynn72]

I shave whenever I remember to. Which ranges from 2-6 days after I last shaved haha. Im pretty thorough though, and never have a noticeable "patch" that gets left behind. There may be some microscopic stubble that I can only feel if I run my fingers in a certain direction. But thats aboot it.

 

[Sneaki]

I only have what, 20 hairs to shave. So it's easy to tell when I miss one .

 

[Pulse]

Meh, I have light brown hair so even my stubble is usually non-existant unless you are right up close to my face. I only really both to shave when it gets to the 'fluffy' stage. The mustache area gets regular attention though.

 

[Dynasty]

I have to shave every 2nd day or I look stupid. My hair is dark so it stands out, i cant get that 'stubble look' of darker areas on my face, its either clean or hairy.

Thats with electric though, and I always miss patches. Wet shave ftw really, but i have an area of growth under the right side of my jaw to my neck where no matter what I do, i HAVE to shave it sideways there, else it leaves huge unshaved patches. As a result i get what looks like shaver's rash.

And i finally realised its better to shave before showering, because i tend to leave 2 or 3 bleading dots on me afterward.

 

[Eejit]

I shave every week or so, even though I technically "need to" daily. Pffft.

 

[Dog--]

I don't really get thick facial hair as of yet (16), but I get enough that I need to shave every 4-7 days (usually shave every 4 days, but if I'm feeling lazy, then I wait until I feel like it), voted once a week. It sucks because my normal hair is brown, yet for some reason my facial hair is black, so it's really noticeable..

 

[Llama]

Hey, my mustache is fluffy

I don't get a lot of facial hair. I make up for it with my aweshens sechs appeal.

 

[Deleted member 56031]

About once a week.

 

[Dog--]

I also like shaved/waxed vag. I win at life.

no no no, see you can't come to HL2.net and say something like that without showing pics, no one will believe you!

 

[Evo]

Should do it more often, but one a week or so. Often leave it get really bad before shave it off. Sometimes will get patches, but that is rare really

Hmm...also could do with another shave...:naughty:

 

[swiss]

i shave basically once a day, coz my hair grows back quick
but at the moment im growing a goatee..should take me about 3 weeks to get to a decent length.

I did it before a a few months back, but had to shave it off for a funeral.. so its coming back now.

 

[cheddarrr]

i shave when it starts to bother me.

But then there is always NO SHAVE NOVEMBER where its alawys ok to grow a ZZ Top beard

 

[Dan]

I just gave myself a haircut and a shave a few days ago. It took a few hours to find all of the little tufts. I used to have the whole Che Guevera beard look, now it's clean cut and cool.

 

[Pesmerga]

I want to shave my asshole.

 

[Dekstar]

I shave every week or so, or just when I get bored. And yeah I always end up missing bits, but I go back and do it again.

 

[Ennui]

I shave every two or three days usually

edits: whoops

 

[Dekstar]

I shave everyone two or three days usually

Are you a barber?

 

[Pesmerga]

I shave everyone two or three days usually

You'll never get me!

 

[Ennui]

Yeah, how about a shave? I'll do it for free - just stop by my establishment on Fleet Street, anytime!

 

[Eejit]

I guarantee it will be the closest shave you shall ever know.

 

[Stigmata]

I chose the wrong option; I shave every two or three days. My facial hair doesn't grow fast enough to warrant shaving more often than that.

I also shave every two or three days as well :naughty:

 

[Krynn72]

I want to shave my asshole.

That is a terrible idea. Trust me.

 

[Dynasty]

I had a moustache at about 16, 17 for around a year. Then i got rid of it when a group of year 9s walked past me and all went 'Zig Heil!' and did the whole march thing.

Its quite hard getting rid of one actually. REALLY hurts.

 

[Tyguy]

Shave my face once a day. Shave my balls once a month. Shave my ass never, i have a fairly hairy ass.

 

[Acepilotf14]

I just started shaving. Funny a thread like this would pop up. I actually tried shaving my pubes.. it was awesome.

 

[Crushenator 500]

I shave whenever I feel like it, more often if I'm going out a lot. I voted occasionally

I don't tend to miss spots

 

[Tyguy]

I just started shaving. Funny a thread like this would pop up. I actually tried shaving my pubes.. it was awesome.

tried? As in you failed?

 

[Acepilotf14]

As in I got bored, and missed some hairs.

 

[Druckles]

I just started shaving. Funny a thread like this would pop up. I actually tried shaving my pubes.. it was awesome.

I read your reply to the most recent shaving thread actually, when looking for a thread of similar consequence

And yeah, we've all experimented at some time or other D:

 

[Social Bacon]

I shave every few days. I should really be doing it every day or two, but I'm lazy. So I'm usually a bit scruffy looking.

 

[Beerdude26]

And yeah, we've all experimented at some time or other D:

Our collective hive minds says: let's just not go there. :|

I usually shave every four days or something

 

[Ennui]

That is a terrible idea. Trust me.

Yeah, I've heard horror stories about how unpleasant shaved ass-hair growing back is, so I've stifled my curiosity and vague desire to try doing it.

 

[DreamThrall]

I actually shave in the shower and don't use gel... Yeah, I know its weird but it works for me... I always shave my whole face, so I just go by touch. I've gotten fairly good at it and I hardly ever nick myself or miss a spot.

 

[JNightshade]

I shave my face every day, and give my downstairs a severe trimming every week or two.

 

[Sam]

I don't let it get past stubble, but it grows slow as hell past that stage anyway. A good thing in some ways, since I'm pretty sure the same lot of genes that make me crap at growing a beard will also make it come out ginger (I have brown hair). It would look odd.

 

[Druckles]

Our collective hive minds says: let's just not go there. :|

This thread is now about experimenting with that razor.

 

[joule]

Everday. It's not like I have a choice.

 

[Dog--]

I actually shave in the shower and don't use gel... Yeah, I know its weird but it works for me...

Heh, I don't use gel either, I take a shower (the water gets time to soak into my skin), then get out, put some warm water on my face and the razor, then shave. I've never even used gel, seems like useless effort.



As for the pubes, everyone - Trim them, you noobs, don't shave them all off..


As for the ass-hair...

ASS HAIR

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though
tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do,
with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a
regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ss-hair had grown
to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the
matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me
KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the
tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling.

Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with somepaper
and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to
avoid
smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of
seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I
could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its
Can't-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had
what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my
butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my
grogans
will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that
will
go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many
Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a
drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!"
by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a
towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the
cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally,
I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair, which I did by wiping it on
the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble
the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last
time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My
ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in
this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only
after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for
granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I
walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs
and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat
was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of
my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about
going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I
thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with
the
microscopic poop -molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I
stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky
poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to
itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up
and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and
scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion
caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were
sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I
quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in
front of a fan and spreading my cheeks.

As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and
filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it
worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering poop/sweat went into the fan and
blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there,
fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated
aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own poop blowing
right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair
grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass
at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair -
ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my
asscheeks.

Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together,
and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks
like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture.
As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in,
it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad.

Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are
many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't
just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure
this constant agony.

Friends-DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!