'Youre too nice' etc etc...

ĐynastҰ said:
She said she goes for 'bad' guys, yet the last 3 boyfriends she had used to physically abuse her (strangle, hit etc)
Click to expand...

That's a real big red flag right there. When you meet girls like that, you want to RUN... unless of course you aren't looking for a meaningful relationship and just want some crazy sex. Girls like that have issues, and while you may feel compelled to try and help them or "fix" them because you're a good person, I can tell you from several relationships worth of experience that is a ****ING BAD IDEA. Girls like that will not magically become emotionally stable during the course of a relationship, and despite any good intentions they may have, will ALWAYS end up ****ing you over in one way or another.

CptStern said:
move on

and nice guys dont finish last ..they end up married with kids ..the bad guys end up six feet under or flipping burgers at Mcdonalds ...anyways, dont persue her, let her go, find someone else ..bet she would take an interest then ..then it's time to say "kiss my ass" and walk away
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Yes... most people are idiots, and therefore, finding a person to have a meaningful relationship with can be difficult. But if you're good person, stick with it, and you'll find someone worth your effort :)
 
Part of me wants to:

-Forgive and forget, keep what we have and if she rips my heart out down the line then so be it, Ill finally know what heartbreak is, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger;

or

-Back off, basically split up but stay in touch and see how she is a few weeks/months later.
 
Be the first one to break up

I INVENTED "IT'S NOT ME IT'S YOU"!
 
Moral of the story? Never use text messaging. It's poison.
 
TBH I'd say that was for the best, if you can't be yourself around your gf, you'll start feeling absolute ****ing shit after some time. Trust me on this.

Luckily I currently have a gf that's down-to-earth and goddamn sexy to boot :)
 
"You're too nice" really means you're too much of a pansy.
 
ĐynastҰ said:
Part of me wants to:

-Forgive and forget, keep what we have and if she rips my heart out down the line then so be it, Ill finally know what heartbreak is, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger;

or

-Back off, basically split up but stay in touch and see how she is a few weeks/months later.
Click to expand...

Just back off.

This has actually quite hurt me, I know 5 weeks or so is hardly a decent length of time to be feeling this way, but it was so awesome with her, and this just seemed to come out of the blue, yet shes still adamant that she wants to be friends. Do I just give her time, stay friends and see what happens?
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Sound's like you've already hit the heartbreak.
 
When someone breaks up with you, they usually try to spare your feelings by saying sort of nice stuff like this. The problem is that you will latch onto anything and twist it in your mind to mean that she still loves you, and that it was just circumstance or bad luck or you could do better if you had another chance. The more you think about it, the more you start to get convinced that it has to be that way and you can end up making a bigger fool out of yourself. If you push it with her, you will get the real answer about why you broke up plus a lot more and be humiliated. Sometimes it's best to grab the dignity you have and leave.

I don't know how it is with girls, but when an ex gets all clingy it forces me to be a huge bastard to them just to get the point across that it's over. Saying it nicely just makes them think that they still have a chance.
 
Ok, number 1, emergency issue: Ditch the bitch. Her history is a ****ing warning right there. Not trying to be Freud or anything, but I dare suspect she's bipolar or has suffered some form of emotional or sexual trauma.
Basically, some, maybe the minority, but some girls who are bipolar are incessantly attracted to really hurtful conditions. They're conflicted about it, but when it comes down to it, they end up with aggressive psychos because they are attracted to the combination of bringing pleasure to someone while being treated like dirt.
This satisfies the want to be good to someone, be appreciated, TOGETHER with reinforcing the extremely poor self image they already have. This is a negative circle and a serious problem.. Don't get involved in a relationship with her if she seems to fit the description.

You should focus on yourself. People say nice guys when they mean people who exhibit a low confidence to the point that all their efforts go into appealing to other people.
You don't have to be a bad boy. Aggressiveness, total disregard for other people, ballsy-ness...
Camouflague, camouflague and more camoflague.
The truth is that you just need to start appreciating yourself and being content within your own self approval. That's all it takes.
You don't have to put one speck of effort in signaling that comfort, because it happens automatically when you're genuinely comfortable with yourself.
You can be the nicest ****ing guy in the world, as long as you just don't substitute your preferences for other people's preferences!
You have wants, you have choices, in every single moment of your life, start exhibiting those and you'll be a much happier person. And people are attracted like flies to those who do. Because they're interesting, fun and confident.
Start simple..
Start saying "I am a worthy and incredible person" to yourself every day. FEEL that.
The idea that your point of view has nothing to do with who you are or how you act is one of the biggest misconceptions of our time.
I wouldn't be spouting this if it wasn't my own magic bullet, trust me, but feel free to do as you like. It's transformed my life, your mileage may vary.
Anyway, there are tons of other girls out there who are good looking, fun and smart, just move on.
One thing she said -was- true.. you deserve better.
 
This has actually quite hurt me, I know 5 weeks or so is hardly a decent length of time to be feeling this way, but it was so awesome with her, and this just seemed to come out of the blue, yet shes still adamant that she wants to be friends. Do I just give her time, stay friends and see what happens?
Click to expand...

Just left a relationship after 2 and a half years. It ****in hurts a lot lol. She suggested to be friends when it happened and i felt like saying "WELL **** YOU!". Give it time cobber
 
A girl said I was too nice once... I told her to **** off. Obviously, this turned her on to me big time, but I was already ****ing her mother.
 
CrazyHarij said:
Ok, number 1, emergency issue: Ditch the bitch. Her history is a ****ing warning right there. Not trying to be Freud or anything, but I dare suspect she's bipolar or has suffered some form of emotional or sexual trauma.
Basically, some, maybe the minority, but some girls who are bipolar are incessantly attracted to really hurtful conditions. They're conflicted about it, but when it comes down to it, they end up with aggressive psychos because they are attracted to the combination of bringing pleasure to someone while being treated like dirt.
This satisfies the want to be good to someone, be appreciated, TOGETHER with reinforcing the extremely poor self image they already have. This is a negative circle and a serious problem.. Don't get involved in a relationship with her if she seems to fit the description.

You should focus on yourself. People say nice guys when they mean people who exhibit a low confidence to the point that all their efforts go into appealing to other people.
You don't have to be a bad boy. Aggressiveness, total disregard for other people, ballsy-ness...
Camouflague, camouflague and more camoflague.
The truth is that you just need to start appreciating yourself and being content within your own self approval. That's all it takes.
You don't have to put one speck of effort in signaling that comfort, because it happens automatically when you're genuinely comfortable with yourself.
You can be the nicest ****ing guy in the world, as long as you just don't substitute your preferences for other people's preferences!
You have wants, you have choices, in every single moment of your life, start exhibiting those and you'll be a much happier person. And people are attracted like flies to those who do. Because they're interesting, fun and confident.
Start simple..
Start saying "I am a worthy and incredible person" to yourself every day. FEEL that.
The idea that your point of view has nothing to do with who you are or how you act is one of the biggest misconceptions of our time.
I wouldn't be spouting this if it wasn't my own magic bullet, trust me, but feel free to do as you like. It's transformed my life, your mileage may vary.
Anyway, there are tons of other girls out there who are good looking, fun and smart, just move on.
One thing she said -was- true.. you deserve better.
Click to expand...
You and Pesh: +5

Now, to actually do that myself.
no2ej8.gif
 
besides what Pesh said, which is nearly exactly what I would have said, if the opportunity arises, like if you talk on the phone, maybe ask her if you were going to slow?

I think this is worth a shot; admit that you wanted to have sex with her those times you spent the night with her, and convince her that you still want her. Just be like, "I wanted you to make a move on me first, because I didn't want to mess things up" or something.

It's worth a shot if you want her, because I'm convinced that she wanted to have sex and you didn't make a move. Sorry, but I don't think I've met a girl that just wants to sleep in bed with you and not mess around. I mean, maybe the first time she just wanted to sleep next to you, to get comfortable, but not the second time.
 
ĐynastҰ said:
I dont get with many women as I dont believe in just having sex with someone and then moving on, not one-night stands but being a relationship where its just sex. I want more than that.
Click to expand...

Wrong, you want sex! Oh well, you'll figure it out when you get your heart broken.
 
ĐynastҰ said:
Sorry for the slight tl;dr

So, my newest (and one of few) girlfriends just broke up with me, with the reasons of:

'Youre too nice'
'You deserve better'
'I dont want to hurt you'
'I cant take compliments'

She said she goes for 'bad' guys, yet the last 3 boyfriends she had used to physically abuse her (strangle, hit etc), and she was the one who came onto me during our uni fieldtrip to Uganda.

We hit it off from day one, both flirting with each other, playfull hitting toward me, she leant on my shoulder etc etc, all the right signs, and I ended up kissing her on the fieldtrip before she left a week before I did (2 week and 3 week groups split up). SHE started texting me first when I got back, we got to talking again and we decided to be a couple and see how things go, taking things slow as she said she didnt want to hurt me and she was still wary over her last relationships...

Ive slept in her bed twice since we got back 2 weeks ago (no sex due to taking things slow), been out with her loads during the day and night, kissed her everytime I see her (she kisses me back every time), she sent me random texts during the day saying she cant wait to see me etc...now suddenly she said she cant see us being in a relationship as she prefers bad guys to keep her on her toes...WTF??

yet bad guys seem to hurt her physically and break her heart each time? I dont get it...

Why the hell do 'nice guys' ALWAYS seem to finish last???

This has actually quite hurt me, I know 5 weeks or so is hardly a decent length of time to be feeling this way, but it was so awesome with her, and this just seemed to come out of the blue, yet shes still adamant that she wants to be friends. Do I just give her time, stay friends and see what happens?

I dont know, should I just stfu, grow up and move on? *sigh* ffs...
Click to expand...

alright, lets look at the possitives.
for starters, you have arms
 
sea said:
I think this thread proves that females between the ages of 15 and 21 are batshit insane and incapable of coherent thought processes.
Click to expand...

pretty much


i feel you dynasty ive had the EXACT same thing said to me.

whatever man most girls are retarded at this age like sea said. I seriously think you SHOULD NOT by any means remain friends with her. You need to take a stand, show her that she had her chance at being in a meaningful relationship for once in her life with a nice guy who actually cared about her. It's her loss man.
 
To be honest, this sounds like the perfect time to prove that you aren't just a nice guy. But don't be like those abusive boyfriends she's talking about.

edit - After actually reading the post, she's weird.
 
Break it off quick, wait till she starts seeing some badass then challenge him to a fight to the death. You beat him, and she's not going anywhere for a while. ;-)

I got jilted a couple of weeks ago; sounds like a very similar story to yours - niceness and stuff, taking it slow, she's a bit ****ed up (but so am I - if I wasn't also a bit ****ed up then we wouldn't have hooked up) etc. When we split, she told me that she was afraid of the commitment and didn't want to hurt me, then ****ing pow - last night I found out she'd been dating another guy. Thing is though... if she'd have been shagging a different guy every night for the last two weeks I could still be in love with her and want to get back with her. Now though, that's it. I quite enjoyed the moping and lusting after and hoping that we could get back together, and daydreaming about how ****ing awesome it would've been... but today I feel nothing but the slightest of aftershocks. I was looking forward to writing folk songs about robots and pigeons... but in my future now, I envisage nothing but techno!

The other replies in this thread have been very very useful. I think that the person to 'help' a ****ed up person should not be someone with this romantic connection - Agape over Eros for this.
 
sea said:
I think this thread proves that females between the ages of 15 and 21 are batshit insane and incapable of coherent thought processes.
Click to expand...

oh f**k yes indeed



then they wake up and stop thinking naive thoughts... and then party begins
 
sea said:
I think this thread proves that females between the ages of 15 and 21 are batshit insane and incapable of coherent thought processes.
Click to expand...

I must admit, I have seen this proven too many times.
 
ĐynastҰ said:
She said she goes for 'bad' guys, yet the last 3 boyfriends she had used to physically abuse her (strangle, hit etc), and she was the one who came onto me during our uni fieldtrip to Uganda.

...

Why the hell do 'nice guys' ALWAYS seem to finish last???
Click to expand...

Women are dumb, thass why.
 
You know what, have sex with her. Get her under those sheets and beast away like a man possessed. Your arse an absolute white blur for a couple of hours. Leave her with a face like a painters radio.

If that doesn't relieve any frustrations or doubts in either mind, then give up with her.
 
She wanted me to call her earlier today, so I did. I questioned her about what the hell was going on with us, and she said we could be together 'if you want to'.

So I flipped at her, told her she was ****ing with my mind and that I was just generally getting pissed off with it. She kept quiet the whole time, wether she was listening to me or not I didnt really care. I told her I was sick of being in this nice guy paradox about everything (and I am, I always get phone calls from crying friends or family and have to sit there and listen to them sob their lives away into my ear and then have me comfort them, so **** it). I told her the nights I spent with her that I did want to have sex with her, but waited for her to make her move first as I didnt know how slow she wanted to take things, then said some other stuff which ive already forgotten as im trying to do Uni work here heh.

Finally I said she needed to ***king grow up and realise what shes got, and that if im really not what shes looking for then to just say it and to cut the foreplay.
 
I put the phone down on her, and havent had a response yet. That was about an hour ago.
 
She got wtf pwned. GJ!
 
/bites lip




If you want her, call her up and apologise. She knows your feelings. Ask her what she reckons
 
Im just letting things marinate for a while, ill call her later if she doesnt call me first.
 
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