Your funniest sex moment

[CyberPitz]

ITT We explain the funniest thing that has happened when we were fooling around/having sex!

Was in my girlfriends little brothers room *he was in the living room watching TV* and she was going down on me. Well, I told her not to move her head too much, so I could shoot it in her mouth. well, go figure, the stupid bitch moves and I spray it all over her hair. So we laugh about it for a minute, then realize her mom was going to be home in moments, so we rush into the bathroom, still laughing mind you, to lean up.

Ahhh, those were the days.

 

[Terminator]

I have no experiences, let alone funny ones.

 

[Stigmata]

I was going down on my girlfriend, in her bedroom, with the rest of her family downstairs. Then all of a sudden, the door opens, so I bolt up and slam into the wall so whoever's there can't see me (we're both completely naked at this point). I thought it was her dad at first, but then I hear her little brother, in a really whiny voice, say "W-what are you DOOOOOOOOing?" So my girlfriend quickly shuts the door, throws on a shirt, then peeks out and tells her brother (who's 6 years old) not to tell her dad anything

 

[Rapstah]

And then what? What happened next? :naughty:

 

[NeptuneUK]

I don't have any funny ones, or at least I don't remember.
Repressed memories? D:

 

[Ennui]

I was going down on my girlfriend, in her bedroom, with the rest of her family downstairs. Then all of a sudden, the door opens, so I bolt up and slam into the wall so whoever's there can't see me (we're both completely naked at this point). I thought it was her dad at first, but then I hear her little brother, in a really whiny voice, say "W-what are you DOOOOOOOOing?" So my girlfriend quickly shuts the door, throws on a shirt, then peeks out and tells her brother (who's 6 years old) not to tell her dad anything

OMG LOCK THE FRICKIN DOOR

 

[Stigmata]

It doesn't have a lock :naughty:

 

[Higlac]

None, yet. However my girlfriend did fall off her couch onto me once. I'm not sure if it was an accident.

 

[Rapstah]

It doesn't have a lock :naughty:

This thread or the room? :naughty:

 

[Insano]

So far, both.

 

[Dekstar]

I have no experiences, let alone funny ones.

Worst way to create a master-race. Ever.

Uhm I'm too young to have sexperiences . I'll revive this thread when I get to Uni (if).

 

[Que-Ever]

We were doing it doggy style, then I pulled out and spit on her back to meke her think I had cum. When she turned around, I cockslapped her in the eye. Man, I was cracking up.

 

[Stigmata]

We were doing it doggy style, then I pulled out and spit on her back to meke her think I had cum. When she turned around, I cockslapped her in the eye. Man, I was cracking up.

 

[Phantom118]

It doesn't have a lock :naughty:

lol, dosen't have a lock???, thats a bit risky... especially when her father is home lol.

 

[CyberPitz]

OMG LOCK THE FRICKIN DOOR

On my story, we had the door cracked open..so good thing the brother didn't walk by. But we couldn't close it, because then teh brother would tell mommy that we were in the room with the door shut, then she'd get mad, blah blah blah.

I wish we could have had least SHUT the door

 

[Javert]

It involved a gf's brother's empty home, a one-year old's birthday party, and a belt.

 

[jack_blits]

Fine, my m8 told me to post an experiece of mine on here Ren 182. It startd off i went to this party and i ended up going back to this girl house and we start getting jiggy. We start tagging each other and i didn't want it "" inside her so i pull out a shot over her back. Maybe thats not that funny but when i told my mate. He was listening to what i said then he turns round and says "F*** off Mental Picture" and i just laughed soo hard at the way he said it.

 

[Adrien C]

Once I got so drunk with wine that I woke up with a werid feeling in my ass; it was a condom.

I dont drink anymore.

 

[hool10]

Wtf thread of the month nomination? Don't have any yet. :dozey:

 

[brink's]

ITT We explain the funniest thing that has happened when we were fooling around/having sex!

Was in my girlfriends little brothers room *he was in the living room watching TV* and she was going down on me. Well, I told her not to move her head too much, so I could shoot it in her mouth. well, go figure, the stupid bitch moves and I spray it all over her hair. So we laugh about it for a minute, then realize her mom was going to be home in moments, so we rush into the bathroom, still laughing mind you, to lean up.

Ahhh, those were the days.

Question...why did you just do it in her room.

 

[Phantom118]

Once I got so drunk with wine that I woke up with a werid feeling in my ass; it was a condom.

I dont drink anymore.

No way... If thats true that has to be the funniest thing I have herd all week.

 

[Evo]

I was doing Pitzy up the arse and a sheep came along and raped us both....it was Dekky in disguise

D:

 

[hool10]

Once I got so drunk with wine that I woke up with a werid feeling in my ass; it was a condom.

I dont drink anymore.

Suprise but sechs? :O

 

[Qonfused]

We were doing it doggy style, then I pulled out and spit on her back to meke her think I had cum. When she turned around, I cockslapped her in the eye. Man, I was cracking up.

Oh my God.

I rofl'd.

 

[Phantom118]

lol go on urban dictionary and look up what a phantom is lol.. you will laugh @ that.
No. 3 Is the funniest...
(thats not where i got my name from)

 

[Absinthe]

I have a few things... but this topic is ****in' giving me the fear.

 

[lePobz]

Does slapping your GF in the face with your used condom count as a funny sex moment? It was a funny moment

Almost funny enough to make up for the punishment I got afterwards.

 

[Shift]

According to one of my mates, he was getting it down, cumed on his hand, and threw it in his girlfriends face while shouting, "GO WEB! GO!!"

 

[Kyorisu]

If you ever lean up against a wall make sure it's not slippery, not only embarrassing but painful. She thought it was funny falling on top of me, I didn't, arse hurt for days.

 

[Phantom118]

According to one of my mates, he was getting it down, cumed on his hand, and threw it in his girlfriends face while shouting, "GO WEB! GO!!"

^ I laughed at that... I wonder what she thought?

 

[The Brick]

Unable to reply.

 

[Sudano]

We were doing it doggy style, then I pulled out and spit on her back to meke her think I had cum. When she turned around, I cockslapped her in the eye. Man, I was cracking up.

HUDINI THAT'S WHATS UP HAHAHA

and lmao at the spider man cum shot hahaha


Yea, well tits feel like a bag of sand. (40YO V)

 

[Russian Mafia]

Last Saturday my gf and I drove to a state park overlooking the ocean, we were doing second base things when a park ranger drives up behind us and then knocked on the window. (It was tinted) We quickly adjusted out cloths and opened the door and he told us we had to leave because the park was closed. We both started cracking up after he left.

 

[Icarusintel]

I was f*cking this one girl and we had to stop every few minutes when her little kid cried for her in the next room.


At first I mostly felt self-loathing and disgust, but now it's pretty funny, since I never got to cum since we stopped every couple minutes.


Or there was the first time I wore a condom and my dick instantly shrank down and got soft. It was like he got scared or was punishing me. Suffice it to say, I don't wear them anymore.

 

[Dekstar]

Suffice it to say, I don't wear them anymore.

Enjoy your AIDS.

 

[ktimekiller]

el o el

 

[Kyorisu]

Or there was the first time I wore a condom and my dick instantly shrank down and got soft. It was like he got scared or was punishing me. Suffice it to say, I don't wear them anymore.

You intimidated it with one with was one too many sizes bigger than required

 

[Marinmald]

My gal and I went to california one year, you know, to see the sights and make fun of people. One night we were at the beach and we spot this couple under the pier going at it, they were kinda hidden due to some boulders/cliff/rocks/ whatever. So I convince my girl to help me with a gag, we go behind the rocks out of their sight and strip down. I pick her up, she has her legs and arms wrapped around me and I am supporting her the best I can. I casually walk in the direction of the other couple and act like I didn't notice them until the man is like "HEY! DO YOU MIND? I'M BUSY HERE!" So I act a little suprised and retort back with "OH sorry, didn't see you there, no we don't mind, just pretend were not here." Of course this kinda upsets them, but I continue on in making small talk all the while doing my own thing with my girl. Eventually I decided it would be in our best interest before the guy got really ticked off, and walked away muttering I was just trying to be friendly. We get dressed, go find a cop and tell them that people are having intercourse under the pier, and we go on our marry way.

 

[CyberPitz]

Question...why did you just do it in her room.

Brother would realize we were in her room and tell on us. damn parents and children.

*EDIT*

My gal and I went to california one year, you know, to see the sights and make fun of people. One night we were at the beach and we spot this couple under the pier going at it, they were kinda hidden due to some boulders/cliff/rocks/ whatever. So I convince my girl to help me with a gag, we go behind the rocks out of their sight and strip down. I pick her up, she has her legs and arms wrapped around me and I am supporting her the best I can. I casually walk in the direction of the other couple and act like I didn't notice them until the man is like "HEY! DO YOU MIND? I'M BUSY HERE!" So I act a little suprised and retort back with "OH sorry, didn't see you there, no we don't mind, just pretend were not here." Of course this kinda upsets them, but I continue on in making small talk all the while doing my own thing with my girl. Eventually I decided it would be in our best interest before the guy got really ticked off, and walked away muttering I was just trying to be friendly. We get dressed, go find a cop and tell them that people are having intercourse under the pier, and we go on our marry way.

Wait a minute...that was you!? I thought you said you were still in the hotel! Damn darkness, I KNEW you sounded familiar.

 

[Marinmald]

Wait a minute...that was you!? I thought you said you were still in the hotel! Damn darkness, I KNEW you sounded familiar.

good times.....