A weird thing happened last night *Not for the young*

[CyberPitz]

This is a sex problem...so yeah, if you get offented, please leave now. Although that's really nobody, that's beside the point.

I invited a lady friend over last night, and we watched a movie. We started making out and all the good stuff. I went down on her, she went down on me. I almost lost my load while she was giving me oral sex...I told her to stop, because I wanted to have sex. So I got up, went for my condoms, kinda had to look for them for a second, opened the box, grapped one, went back to bed. By this time, I was only 1/2 hard. So I started to make out with her, and played around for a second. I wouldn't get any harder. It just kept going down. I was depressed, and massively embarassed.

Now, this isn't the first time it's happened. The 2nd. The first time was with another girl, we were dating, and it was during the day *Never had sex during the day*, and I just couldn't really get it up at all.

But I've had sex with this girl once before as well, so I don't think it was her...I dunno. I'm so confused, and kinda..worried.

I know it happens when your drunk and what not, but I'm completely sober, so yeah..

Has this ever happened to you? Or should I go talk to a doctor? Or do I blame the delay in sexual activity while fighting with my condom box. I assume my mind just kinda derailed, BUT HOW DOES IT DO THAT WITH A NAKID (*spelling?*) CHICK IN MY BED? D:

 

[bvasgm]

PENIS MALFUNCTION!!

sorry, wikipedia's all I've got...maybe go to a doctor...viagra...less self induced bow-chicka-bow-wow??

edit: my third 222'nd post, go me \o/

 

[Maxi]

Penile Disfunctioooon!

 

[Solaris]

See a doctor, there could be several reasons, most of them easilly curable.

You know, I would reccomend going to a hypnotherapist. They'll give you your money back if it doesn't cure it, and it's probable it will be cured. Get a doctors referal first though.

 

[mortiz]

I'm sorry, but I've read about this...your penis is going to drop off and there's nothing they can do about it.

 

[$kelet0r]

This is a sex problem...so yeah, if you get offented, please leave now. Although that's really nobody, that's beside the point.

I invited a lady friend over last night, and we watched a movie. We started making out and all the good stuff. I went down on her, she went down on me. I almost lost my load while she was giving me oral sex...I told her to stop, because I wanted to have sex. So I got up, went for my condoms, kinda had to look for them for a second, opened the box, grapped one, went back to bed. By this time, I was only 1/2 hard. So I started to make out with her, and played around for a second. I wouldn't get any harder. It just kept going down. I was depressed, and massively embarassed.

Now, this isn't the first time it's happened. The 2nd. The first time was with another girl, we were dating, and it was during the day *Never had sex during the day*, and I just couldn't really get it up at all.

But I've had sex with this girl once before as well, so I don't think it was her...I dunno. I'm so confused, and kinda..worried.

I know it happens when your drunk and what not, but I'm completely sober, so yeah..

Has this ever happened to you? Or should I go talk to a doctor? Or do I blame the delay in sexual activity while fighting with my condom box. I assume my mind just kinda derailed, BUT HOW DOES IT DO THAT WITH A NAKID (*spelling?*) CHICK IN MY BED? D:

It happens to the best of us - sadly even me
my advice - NEVER GO GET A CONDOM - HAVE ONE READY
that advice is a life saver
and no you don't need to see a doctor - it is sadly very normal
be thankful we're not women though

 

[CptStern]

it's called "performance anxiety"

 

[Angry Lawyer]

Bahahahaha. Erectile dysfunction strikes one in ten of adults.

-Angry Lawyer

 

[K e r b e r o s]

it's called "performance anxiety"

Yep. ... so, I'll just head ... the other way I came! <runs out of thread, slamming door>

 

[Insano]

Bahahahaha. Erectile dysfunction strikes one in ten of adults.

-Angry Lawyer

He's one of the lucky few

 

[SimonomiS]

 

[CrazyHarij]

performance anxiety.

another thing, masturbate really really rarely and stop looking at anything beyond softcore porn, no more than once a week. do things to increase your testosterone and sex drive.

 

[CptStern]

Bahahahaha. Erectile dysfunction strikes one in ten of adults.

-Angry Lawyer

heh it's far more than that (not that I'm admitting to anything ..I know mine works) ..I'd say at one point or another every man goes through what cyberpitz is experiencing ..and if they say they havent well then they're lying or just havent slept around enough ...god anyone who's had a six pack before sex knows it takes concentration

 

[K e r b e r o s]

another thing, masturbate really really rarely and stop looking at anything beyond softcore porn, no more than once a week. do things to increase your testosterone and sex drive.

Peh. Just ... well can I refer someone to jackinworld.com?

I'm not sure if that content is allowable. Well, plus, I'm in a library, and I'm not sure if the people around me would appreciate it.

Anyways, you don't need to refrain from masterbation, but just make it a habit while you do to keep things interesting and pleasurable. That could be another thing the thread author suffered from ... a lack of interest? A lack of pleasure ...?

 

[Angry Lawyer]

So true, Stern. But Cyberpitz's post has twangs of "Oh noes it'll never work again!" in it. Stage fright, and Brewer's Droop are common killers of intimate moments.

-Angry Lawyer

 

[K e r b e r o s]

^lolomfg ...

 

[CrazyHarij]

Anyways, you don't need to refrain from masterbation, but just make it a habit while you do to keep things interesting and pleasurable. That could be another thing the thread author suffered from ... a lack of interest? A lack of pleasure ...?

you don't need to do anything, really. and you could argue about this all day, but from personal experience and talking with other ppl, you are sure to work as expected if you have been abstaining from masturbation .
but this is actually a really common problem.. people these days are damaged from porn, you only "function" when there's something hardcore going on in front of your eyes and there's no interruption. porn does have an effect on the mind and body, and it might not be all positive.

try staying off for at least 20 days, and stay clear of the hard stuff. it'll be quite a revelation.

or his problem could just be that it's a new thing and he's nervous. happens to everyone.

Cyberpitz, soon you won't have to worry about this at all, and instead meet your new friend, mr premature ejaculation!

 

[Yuri]

Heh, you can really tell the people who are not regular sex-getters around here.

You have no health problems whatsoever... that sort of thing happens to all of us, man.

The best advice in here is john3571000's, really. I think I'll PM you with the rest of this post haha.

 

[Angry Lawyer]

There's a middle ground to achieve. Avoid the handy-shandy, and you'll be able to get one up constantly. However, you'll last about ten seconds, tops, in bed. Too much porn, and it has too strong an effect. You'll be so resistant that you'll not be able to get one up.

It's a fine line we men must tread.

-Angry Lawyer

 

[Yuri]

I'm still perfecting mine, and its far from perfect.

Sex is so much f*cking harder for the guys. So. Much.

 

[CrazyHarij]

It's a fine line we men must tread.

 

[SimonomiS]

Iron rod + Urethra.

Or if you're not that hardcore, just take it to the iron rod, like when you tie plants to wooden sticks to help them grow in a certain direction.

 

[K e r b e r o s]

SimonS, from the dayofdefeat.net forums?

 

[OvA]

whoooosshhee ssshhhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwwww

Hear that? That's the sound of the flames of Hell, and that's where you're going for having pre-marital sex.

 

[K e r b e r o s]

I thought the flames of hell sounded like this:

Flames of Hell 1: I'm bored Jim. I'm stick and tired of, burning.
Flames of Hell 2: Your not the only one. I mean, alls we do is cook the sinners. I mean, why not hold a conversation with them? I mean, why not anyway, they might not be so bad after all. I mean, even after ... the tortures ... the brimstone, the deathless pain, the screaming, the eternity ... the fire gets bored. I mean, what the hell else is there to do in hell?
Flames of Hell 1: Oh! I know! Let's play Go!
Flames of Hell 2: We can't. Remember the last time we tried to play a game that was cardboard, chip, and paper oriented? We catch things on fire, jim.
Flames of Hell 1: Oh ... <ten minutes later> I'm bored.

 

[short recoil]

increase your testosterone/libido mate.

Do some deadlifts and stuff at the gym, eat loads of protein, brocolli, red kidney beans, zinc supplement tablets, ZMA tablets, horny goat weed extract, ginseng, ginkgo biloba...............if you start on all of that you'll be ****ing like the energiser bunny.

I've done things to increase testosterone recently for muscle growth, i've certainly noticed the libido effects, i often wake up with an errection that lasts for about 3 hours. (sorry for the detail, just proving a point)

 

[CptStern]

ya but too bad you dont actually put it to use ...not that I'd like to see the results of said usage ...a person impaled on flagpole leaps instantly to mind ...

 

[short recoil]

ya but too bad you dont actually put it to use ...not that I'd like to see the results of said usage ...a person impaled on flagpole leaps instantly to mind ...

LMAO.

Well, recently i've been a bit slack as far as "my rules" go.......hormones are ****ing powerful, resisting them is like trying to push a ford granada 2.8i up a mountain.

At the end of the day you can still be hardcore and have some fun at the same time.

 

[K e r b e r o s]

Okay, this is a conspiracy. Does anyone else notice that would I banter off topic, I always manage to misspell something? I swear, its not intentional.

 

[EC]

Okay, this is a conspiracy. Does anyone else notice that when I banter off topic, I always manage to misspell something? I swear, its not intentional.

What are you talking about? I see nothing.

 

[K e r b e r o s]

Alright, good. Sweet, just checking.

 

[Smoke]

So....very...much ...... sigable..material...OVERLOAD D:

 

[el Chi]

Bahahahaha. Erectile dysfunction strikes one in ten of adults.

-Angry Lawyer

lol!

Wait, I don't get it.

 

[Angry Lawyer]

*Angry Lawyer rogers El Chi, just to make sure*

-Angry Lawyer

 

[OvA]

I get an erection when I fall asleep in class or have gas.

 

[short recoil]

I get an erection when I fall asleep in class or have gas.

You get an erection whilst sleeping to stop yourself urinating whilst your body has less muscular control.
It's the usual reason for the "morning horn"

Gas is probably a simmilar function, pressure down there.

 

[Qonfused]

I hate popping a wood in the middle of class... especially when a teacher is just standing up there talking.

 

[xombine]

yeah and its a bitch when it happens towards the end of class. The class ends and you have to get up and walk around, especially with jeans.

 

[short recoil]

What's even funnier is when a male teacher pops a wood, as happened in an information technology lesson at my school once, it was so obvious.......he knew everyone could see it as well, he started leaning against the table so as to hide it, lol.

 

[Smoke]

What's even funnier is when a male teacher pops a wood, as happened in an information technology lesson at my school once, it was so obvious.......he knew everyone could see it as well, he started leaning against the table so as to hide it, lol.

My science teacher had one once, but only half (either that or his reason for being so camp was revealed)

....anyway, it was hanging on the table as he stood up and gave us our end-of-shitty-lesson speech.

It was traumatising :|