Bayonetta review. Oh my ..

This all reminds me of that saying about the Special Olympics... you know, the offensive one.


...


*pats Bayonetta on head*

GOOD JOB! :D :D :D :D :D
 
Rizzo said:
Seriously what's up with those ridicules poses? Jump from 50ft, land with a loud thump, and look up over (sun)glasses with serious expresion. Stay in crouched position for a while, then slowly, and dramaticly stand up. With serious expresion. It was the same in all the MGS games.
Click to expand...

Im certain they know it looks preposterous, which is the whole point in doing so anyways in a game like Bayonneta
 
Florence and the machines is all I know about this game. Weird lady with gun boots which look rubbish. I'm surprised to hear good reviews are coming back...doesn't look like my cup of tea.
 
SPOILER ALERT









This is the only game that has allowed me to surf an ICBM while having shootouts and swordfights with angels and dragons. That being said, I just threw God into the sun. Bayonetta. Is. Amazing.

No, it is not difficult, but by Gordon's god damn goatee, it is awesome.
 
MFL said:
SPOILER ALERT









This is the only game that has allowed me to surf an ICBM while having shootouts and swordfights with angels and dragons. That being said, I just threw God into the sun. Bayonetta. Is. Amazing.

No, it is not difficult, but by Gordon's god damn goatee, it is awesome.
Click to expand...
SPOILER













I heard that the ICBM itself can fire missiles. CAN YOU CONFIRM THIS
 
Yup, totally checking out this game now after reading those spoilers.
 
MFL said:
SPOILER ALERT









This is the only game that has allowed me to surf an ICBM while having shootouts and swordfights with angels and dragons. That being said, I just threw God into the sun. Bayonetta. Is. Amazing.

No, it is not difficult, but by Gordon's god damn goatee, it is awesome.
Click to expand...


That alone has peaked my interest 1000 fold :O
 
MFL said:
This is the only game that has allowed me to surf an ICBM
Click to expand...
Meh, I've surfed on missiles before.

2pz9rbk.png



Also, I was watching

Bayonetta's fight with Father Balder in chapter 16, and Balder pulls a building out of the ground, right? Launches a skyscraper at Bayonetta, and she goes into a QTE to kick the building back at him. And I'm like, "This WOULD be cool, if Kingdom Hearts 2 didn't already do that years earlier, and did it BETTER." Left me with a lackluster taste in my mouth. This game is rehashing shit I've already done in other games!



But you know, there's two God Hand references I've already seen, and Rodin makes a RE4 reference. There's also a lot of EGGMAN EGGMAN EGGMAN.



Warbie, I'm gonna punch you in the face soon.
 
There is only one good QTE in Kingdom Hearts 2 and thats the one you do to beat the game. Besides that, Kingdom Hearts 2 is pretty much "Press Triangle for Auto-Pilot".
 
Not to invoke the rage of darkside but who gives a **** about KH? o_O
 
According to sales? Several million people.

Besides that, Kingdom Hearts 2 is pretty much "Press Triangle for Auto-Pilot".
Click to expand...
Proud mode + don't use triangle.
 
According to sales? Several million people.
Click to expand...

Real people or basement people?


I dunno, that ICBM thing does sound awfully tempting.

But since I don't own a PS3, nor would I waste money on another cookie cutter Japanese button masher, its not an issue.

I'd probably give it a go if a mate had it but aside from that not interested.
 
I sighed at that too Darkside, but nobody should actually exclude themselves from playing a game just because it has similar elements to another. You'd never be able to play anything again. Besides that though, given just a modicum of comprehensibility, most stories are judged in the telling, not in their originality. Sure, later on after the success of a project (be it a game, movie, or whatever), people analyze things like plot and originality, and it contributes to the long-standing reputation of quality of the product. But first it has to be good in the nature of its own format, and as long as that is held up, it's worthy of being played. Bayonetta satisfies that, and actually does bring some new stuff to the table. An actually interesting strong female lead, for instance, if you look beyond the fact that she's technically naked for the entirety of the game.

Also: It's on 360.
Also Also: Motorcrossing up into space on the side of a skyscraper that's actually a giant ****ing rocket fighting off the legions of heaven. And I don't mean that the skyscraper goes all the way up to space. I mean it's been launched.
Also Also Also: Getting in a fistfight with what is essentially the Alexander summon in the middle of god damn maelstrom. That shoots lasers. While you're surfing the inner cone whirl on a dead piece of driftwreckage.
 
MFL said:
Also Also Also: Getting in a fistfight with what is essentially the Alexander summon in the middle of god damn maelstrom. That shoots lasers. While you're surfing the inner cone whirl on a dead piece of driftwreckage.
Click to expand...

That sounds really silly.
 
It is, but only until you feed him to the giant lava spider made out of hair.

Oh lord, some people are actually going to go play this now. Just... whatever you do, don't listen to the music. It's soul destroying.
 
Im actually intressted now.

But I have a PS3 and I've seen that review scores are less for the PS3 version...
 
i would love to try this soon, but gamefly sent brutal legend first.
 
Hey, come on guys, give them some credit, it must be hard to type a review using only your penis.
 
So anyone still wondering about the standards of todays games?

WOW see me ride an ICBM and fighting generic enemies with generic overly abused moves, 10/10.
 
Are you referring to the old "wait a few seconds before throwing an overly slow, arching move that allows plenty of time to dodge" enemy attack?
 
Sparta said:
Are you referring to the old "wait a few seconds before throwing an overly slow, arching move that allows plenty of time to dodge" enemy attack?
Click to expand...

actually no, i was talking about standards in general
 
jverne said:
generic overly abused moves
Click to expand...

There's a reason why people rarely stray from the accepted standards of form in throwing a punch or swinging a sword. IT'S BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU THROW A PUNCH AND SWING A SWORD. As for generic. You can strap shotguns to your feet. If this is generic, I'm going to grind you up and snort you, and be high till I die. What I want to know is, what exactly about this game lowers the "standards" of games? What standards? Dictated by whom? Or are we all just full of it today? Hmm... I'll take the bull for 1000 please alex. What is jverne? Boom, daily double, see you tommorow.

This game is not a 10 out of 10. I'd give it a high eight, low nine.
 
MFL said:
There's a reason why people rarely stray from the accepted standards of form in throwing a punch or swinging a sword. IT'S BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU THROW A PUNCH AND SWING A SWORD. As for generic. You can strap shotguns to your feet. If this is generic, I'm going to grind you up and snort you, and be high till I die. What I want to know is, what exactly about this game lowers the "standards" of games? What standards? Dictated by whom? Or are we all just full of it today? Hmm... I'll take the bull for 1000 please alex. What is jverne? Boom, daily double, see you tommorow.

This game is not a 10 out of 10. I'd give it a high eight, low nine.
Click to expand...

-main character is just your usual hot babe wearing ridiculous outfits
-action is just the usual messed up hack and slash hitting in air stuff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiFyMVblhRw (i mean...WTF is going on??? no personality)
-don't know the story enough to talk about it
-anything else worth mentioning?

Of the (newer) games i've played what i consider innovation worth mentioning

Crysis:
-probably the most fun hardcore action i had since ever. The level of involvement (if you play on hard and not as a total tool) is just unprecedented for a FPS. Huge improvement over predecessor.

TR: Anniversary
-interesting puzzles (better than most its predecessors)
-quite nice acrobatics (same here)

HL2:
-engaging plot
-introduction of physics was nice (though a bit shy)

Penumbra:
-basically no modern adventure game can rival it

Supreme commander:
-epicness


Ok it's apparent i don't play a lot of games, but this is what i consider worthy.


Bayonetta is basically http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rujyH9mKkY

I have to admit that i'm pretty biased, i'm sure you might like stuff such as this. But that doesn't improve my opinion of the gaming industry today.
 
You're right. These two games that are completely different are basically the same.
 
It looks like it would be a fun game if it stripped away everything that actually makes it look like Bayonetta.
 
jverne said:
-main character is just your usual hot babe wearing ridiculous outfits
-action is just the usual messed up hack and slash hitting in air stuff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiFyMVblhRw (i mean...WTF is going on??? no personality)
-don't know the story enough to talk about it
-anything else worth mentioning?
Click to expand...

The story line of Bayonetta is like watching your professor from India teaching you Calculus in Chinese. I'm sure it makes sense to somebody, but it's not doing me any good. The parts I was able to piece together strangled each other to death in confusion with unexplained time travel and flashback sequences. However it did make the escort sequence makes sense. I think. O_O

As for whatsernames character, she sums up that happy little demographic of women that MAKES YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF WITH A MALLET. She is femme fatale. If you've ever been with a women whose gotten you into more trouble than you could have possibly conceived was possible, you'd understand the metaphor. She pretty much a representation of the dame. And that's both a compliment and an insult comin' from me. The kind of comment that says, "Ok, you're pretty useful and sure you're hot, but I know that if I turn my back on you for an instant, you've got the kind of mind that'll break my spine in a game of chess, and THEN you'll shoot me in the dick." Just the way you say that, 'ususal hot babe wearing ridiculous outfits', reveals exactly whats going on at work in your head. You see the beautiful women in your life, ridiculous or no, and immediately shuffle them into the category of usual. Sure, for the mass majority of pretty girls, they are vapid little crazy mindless tubes of meat, but believe it or not, there are some actually interesting women out there in the world. Maybe one or two. And maybe, just for once, I think a game has captured some of the essence of what makes those one or two interesting. And plastered a ridiculous outfit on top of it. Sigh. God damn it. She acts as a freaking quasi-mother figure for the last half of the game for heavens sake.

As for the rest of your post... what? What? First you tell me that you don't have a high opinion on the state of the games industry... and then you prattle off some excellent games as evidence of what is going on? What?

Also, that link. Don't dare show me a 2D sidescroller unless you've played Tyrian. And if you haven't played Tyrian, GO PLAY TYRIAN.

Carrot ship FTW.
 
jverne said:
-main character is just your usual hot babe wearing ridiculous outfits
-action is just the usual messed up hack and slash hitting in air stuff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiFyMVblhRw (i mean...WTF is going on??? no personality)
-don't know the story enough to talk about it
-anything else worth mentioning?
Click to expand...

The game is a parody of what you just listed. It's meant to be overblown and ridiculous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjk3Kk0yNyU

Call it the FPS Doug of Hack and Slashes. It's out of it's own mind crazy.
 
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