Best Home Remedy for Gas

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I just farted so loud in bed it woke my wife up and I got in trouble. It's happening over and over and it's one of the loudest and nonstop nights of my entire life.

I don't have any anti gas meds in the house and I'm not going to the store just to get a bottle of Beano how embarassing.

Is there anything I can eat or drink right now that will help this problem? At least a couple serious replies please! :LOL:
 
Wear a hat and go to the store and buy beano and there will be no gas.
 
How much dairy do you consume?

EDIT: By the way, beano ain't gonna fix it now. Gas-X or some other remedy made for post-food gas is necessary. Beano fixes it if you eat it before a meal.
 
How much dairy do you consume?

EDIT: By the way, beano ain't gonna fix it now. Gas-X or some other remedy made for post-food gas is necessary. Beano fixes it if you eat it before a meal.


Not any more than the usual amount but should I drink a glass of milk do you think that might settle my guts?
 
No, I'm saying you may be developing lactose intolerance. It's pretty typical of people developing lactose intolerance to have bad gas as a result. You said this is chronic, so my suggestion is to try cutting dairy out of your diet for a few days and see if that solves the problem. If yes, well that sucks, no more ice cream for you, but the answer has also been found.
 
This is some bullshit I really hope that not what it is!!! I'd rather fart a shitload than to give up drinking milk I love milk. Not a big ice cream fan but I could drink like half a gallon of milk just with dinner
 
lol u jus gota fart it out bruh das how u get da gas out u gota fart lmao










Fart it out your butt or you will forever suffer.
 
This is some bullshit I really hope that not what it is!!! I'd rather fart a shitload than to give up drinking milk I love milk. Not a big ice cream fan but I could drink like half a gallon of milk just with dinner

Well the only home remedy I found that doesn't sound like bullshit (Peppermint Schnapps, really?!) is to go into the bathroom, turn on the ventilator, lay on your back and bring your legs up to 90 degrees, then bring your knees to your chest, and keep doing those sorts of motion until you fart it all out. You can also try 'bicycling' while on your back as well. The goal is to start it moving until there's nothing left to move.
 
Well the only home remedy I found that doesn't sound like bullshit (Peppermint Schnapps, really?!) is to go into the bathroom, turn on the ventilator, lay on your back and bring your legs up to 90 degrees, then bring your knees to your chest, and keep doing those sorts of motion until you fart it all out. You can also try 'bicycling' while on your back as well. The goal is to start it moving until there's nothing left to move.

gonna try that in the morning once im clocked in at work. I love pooping at work. getting paid to make a BM is very gratifying
 
Position yourself so they come out silently.
 
Yeah this sounds like a silly problem, a man should be allowed to fart in his own damn house damnit!
 
Probably something to do with your diet. Try cutting out various types of foods until you find the cause. For instance: Smarties make me very gassy for some reason.
 
If you wife doesn't like it, simply obtain a new one!
 
When I or my wife drops a particularly loud greaseball in bed, it's usually followed by laughter and maybe an attempt to make a dutch oven or checking the dog's reaction for a rating. Why so serious?
 
When I or my wife drops a particularly loud greaseball in bed, it's usually followed by laughter and maybe an attempt to make a dutch oven or checking the dog's reaction for a rating. Why so serious?

Well I'd woken her up twice with the TV being too loud and then the third time was the huge fart that woke her up from a dead sleep that's why the anger. I can understand LOL
 
I took a giant BM (3 big logs) and feel better now thanks for your help guys! :thumbs:
 
These are the kinds of threads I love hl2.net for.
 
This is some bullshit I really hope that not what it is!!! I'd rather fart a shitload than to give up drinking milk I love milk. Not a big ice cream fan but I could drink like half a gallon of milk just with dinner

Milk is for babies dude. It's food for when you don't have teeth (and babies chuff all the time). Give the milk drinking a rest (I just have milk in tea & coffee) and see if that makes a difference. Most adults are lactose intolerant tbh (our digestive systems change as we get older). Half the reason People think Milk is good for them is because the Dairy industry wants you to drink the stuff. Plain truth of the matter is you get all the calcium you need from a genuinely healthy balanced diet.
 
Actually, Kadayi, the vast majority (~95%) of the adult population who come from northern and western European descent (ie, white people at large) never develop lactose intolerance. It is primarily due to the fact that European diets were high in goat, cow, and sheep milk. The phenomenon is similar to how around half of Japanese people have a gut enzyme that enables them to actually get nutrients from kelp.
 
Protein shakes and fiber bars are essential to a non-gassy existence. It cured me! Also, make sure to take deep breaths in between swallowing foods.
 
Tell your wife that next time she complains about it, you will hold her head under the covers and make her take an 8 second inhale. This should solve your problems about being in trouble. Now, fart away.
 
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