KoreBolteR
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burner69
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Blatently nicked off MarcoPolo in a HL gen discussion....
Made me chuckle
http://starterupsteve.com/swf/posting.html
Made me chuckle
http://starterupsteve.com/swf/posting.html
K
kmack
Guest
The Great Saddam and Bush Debate
Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam Hussein's challenge to a televised debate, Tim Dowling exclusively reveals what could have happened had they met
Tuesday February 25, 2003
Tony Blair, moderator: Welcome to the first televised debate between George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein, live from United Nations headquarters in New York. We will begin with a brief opening statement from each of you.
Bush: First of all I would just like to welcome my evil friend to the UN, one of the great American institutions for the propulsion of freedom throughout the world.
Saddam: Thank you, Great Satan. I hope that in today's debate we may find some common ground between the Iraqi people's commitment to peace and human progress and America's desire to destroy the Middle East.
Bush: Do I answer that?
Blair: No. The first question is quite simply this: do you have any links with al-Qaida?
Bush: I do not.
Blair: The question is for Saddam.
Saddam: As I told Mr. Tony Benn clearly and simply, if I had links with al-Qaida and I enjoyed those links then I would not be ashamed to tell the world, but since I am ashamed to tell the world of this, it follows that I have no such links.
Bush: Neither do I.
Blair: The second question is for President Bush. President Bush, if America and Iraq were to go to war tomorrow, who would win?
Bush: That's easy. America, right?
Saddam: Even I knew that one.
Bush: That's because the great United American States of America are on the side of rightliness and Americanity, against an evil Axis of Evil made up of Iraq, North Korea and... how many are in an axis? Three?
Blair: I think you're allowed as many as you like.
Bush: OK, Iraq, North Korea and France.!
Saddam: I will tell you frankly and directly that Iraq is not part of any Axis of Evil.
Bush: Who am I thinking of then? Irania?
Blair: Let's move on. Saddam, are you willing to destroy your stockpile of Samoud 2 missiles in accordance with UN weapons inspectors' orders?
Saddam: I explain to you now that if Iraq possessed these so-called weapons, we would never destroy them, but since we do not have any such weapons, we are happy to comply, even though these non-existent weapons certainly do not exceed the proscribed range of 150 kms. I've tested them myself, and we don't have any.
Blair: The final question is for George Bush. Mr President, is there any way that Saddam Hussein can avoid war, and what steps must he now take in order to reach a negotiated solution?
Bush: Listen to me. It's very simple. First Saddam must compile 200% with the UN inspectorers, and I mean activated compilation, not passivist compilation. Second, he must disarm fully, in keeping with UN revelation 1441 and the next one coming, 1441B, which will require him to disarm even more fully than that. Then he must destroy all Samoud missiles and any other weapons of mass destruction he is found, or not found, to be possessive of, without being asked. Finally, there is one more task he must perform, which I am not at liberty to revulge. And even that will not be enough.
Blair: The translator would like to take your answer home with him and work on it over the weekend.
Bush: Fine, but we require nothing less than total disarmature.
Saddam: OK.
Blair: Sorry, but I'm not sure that "disarmature" is a word. I defer to the UN Keeper of the Dictionary, Mr Richard Stilgoe.
Stilgoe: Yes, you can have disarmature. It means, "the action of disarming" according to the OED.
Bush: Exactly. He must cut his own arms off.
Saddam: If it means peace, I will do it.
Bush: Too late.
Stilgoe: Did you know that Saddam Hussein is an anagram of 'Demands a Sushi'?
Saddam: Yes, I've heard them all.
Bush: I don't eat sushi. Is there a fish option?
Blair: I'd like to remind everyone at home that the Monica Lewinsky-Tonya Harding fight follows after the break.
p.s. its upsidedown avatar week
Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam Hussein's challenge to a televised debate, Tim Dowling exclusively reveals what could have happened had they met
Tuesday February 25, 2003
Tony Blair, moderator: Welcome to the first televised debate between George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein, live from United Nations headquarters in New York. We will begin with a brief opening statement from each of you.
Bush: First of all I would just like to welcome my evil friend to the UN, one of the great American institutions for the propulsion of freedom throughout the world.
Saddam: Thank you, Great Satan. I hope that in today's debate we may find some common ground between the Iraqi people's commitment to peace and human progress and America's desire to destroy the Middle East.
Bush: Do I answer that?
Blair: No. The first question is quite simply this: do you have any links with al-Qaida?
Bush: I do not.
Blair: The question is for Saddam.
Saddam: As I told Mr. Tony Benn clearly and simply, if I had links with al-Qaida and I enjoyed those links then I would not be ashamed to tell the world, but since I am ashamed to tell the world of this, it follows that I have no such links.
Bush: Neither do I.
Blair: The second question is for President Bush. President Bush, if America and Iraq were to go to war tomorrow, who would win?
Bush: That's easy. America, right?
Saddam: Even I knew that one.
Bush: That's because the great United American States of America are on the side of rightliness and Americanity, against an evil Axis of Evil made up of Iraq, North Korea and... how many are in an axis? Three?
Blair: I think you're allowed as many as you like.
Bush: OK, Iraq, North Korea and France.!
Saddam: I will tell you frankly and directly that Iraq is not part of any Axis of Evil.
Bush: Who am I thinking of then? Irania?
Blair: Let's move on. Saddam, are you willing to destroy your stockpile of Samoud 2 missiles in accordance with UN weapons inspectors' orders?
Saddam: I explain to you now that if Iraq possessed these so-called weapons, we would never destroy them, but since we do not have any such weapons, we are happy to comply, even though these non-existent weapons certainly do not exceed the proscribed range of 150 kms. I've tested them myself, and we don't have any.
Blair: The final question is for George Bush. Mr President, is there any way that Saddam Hussein can avoid war, and what steps must he now take in order to reach a negotiated solution?
Bush: Listen to me. It's very simple. First Saddam must compile 200% with the UN inspectorers, and I mean activated compilation, not passivist compilation. Second, he must disarm fully, in keeping with UN revelation 1441 and the next one coming, 1441B, which will require him to disarm even more fully than that. Then he must destroy all Samoud missiles and any other weapons of mass destruction he is found, or not found, to be possessive of, without being asked. Finally, there is one more task he must perform, which I am not at liberty to revulge. And even that will not be enough.
Blair: The translator would like to take your answer home with him and work on it over the weekend.
Bush: Fine, but we require nothing less than total disarmature.
Saddam: OK.
Blair: Sorry, but I'm not sure that "disarmature" is a word. I defer to the UN Keeper of the Dictionary, Mr Richard Stilgoe.
Stilgoe: Yes, you can have disarmature. It means, "the action of disarming" according to the OED.
Bush: Exactly. He must cut his own arms off.
Saddam: If it means peace, I will do it.
Bush: Too late.
Stilgoe: Did you know that Saddam Hussein is an anagram of 'Demands a Sushi'?
Saddam: Yes, I've heard them all.
Bush: I don't eat sushi. Is there a fish option?
Blair: I'd like to remind everyone at home that the Monica Lewinsky-Tonya Harding fight follows after the break.
p.s. its upsidedown avatar week
MarcoPollo
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- Dec 4, 2004
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burner69 said:
Lol i love that one...btw there is another marcopolo but he spells with one l i spell mines with 2 its very confusing i think he needs to change his name lol.
rpgprog
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- Jan 13, 2005
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i remember seeubg it somewhere on this site while looking for my avatar. Its being really slow for me right now, but try it out. http://avatar2k.nm***/64x64/animeRanga said:i.... reformatted my drive, and lost it
it was famous? *double search effort*
edit: this is temporary relief
the site is in another language but the urls are english so you can use that to look through it
Doppelgofer
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burner69 said:
please do post if you can...i love chris morris' stuff
i've wanted to hear blue jam for a long time aswell as jam...i saw it in silverscreen the other day actually and thought of picking it up
MarcoPollo
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uh, duh, someone already pointed that out a long time ago lol...got any jokes?
hahahahahahaha... brilliant!
Quote from dead ringers:
"I have just returnified from the UN Summit meeting, brought to you by the letters A and the number B" - George Bush
another from bash
Chakrum231: Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
K
kmack
Guest
Courtesy of The Onion
Aries: (March 21—April 19)
Your ruthlessness in carrying out love-triangle arbitrage will earn you a fearsome reputation as a short-term emotional-bond trader.
Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
Nothing you've been told will prepare you for the pain of childbirth, especially when your daughter bursts from your brow, decapitating you instantly.
Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
It's true that the best things in life are free, but you've never been the kind of person who demands quality.
Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
The ghost of Roger Troutman magically appears to you whenever you do something funky, which explains why you've seen him only once.
Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
You thought pulling off the heist would be as easy as taking candy from a baby, but then you found out the four tons of fine imported Italian chocolates had to be kept at a constant temperature.
Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
Upon your death this Friday, you'll find that entrance to heaven is granted only to members and those non-members who first agree to view a half-millennium sales presentation for condos in Elysium.
Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
Many major changes are ahead for you this week, but you'll probably give most of your attention to the changes involving temperature, altitude, and brain activity.
Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
You'll be overcome with a mixture of empathy and annoyance when you accidentally stumble into the closet where all the suppressed homosexuals hang out.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
You have an irrefutable message concerning the importance of psychoactive drugs in personal development, but no one will heed your boring, hyper-rational lectures.
Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
In your quest for supremacy, you'll be accused of overlooking the human cost. But you'll know that's ridiculous—you've already spent well over $700.
Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
Everyone is aware that you don't care what the people say, but that doesn't mean they'll listen when you tell them you're going to love them anyway.
Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
Your willingness to gamble on extreme long shots is endearing, but you never should've bet your life savings on the Bears to win the 1986 world championship.
Aries: (March 21—April 19)
Your ruthlessness in carrying out love-triangle arbitrage will earn you a fearsome reputation as a short-term emotional-bond trader.
Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
Nothing you've been told will prepare you for the pain of childbirth, especially when your daughter bursts from your brow, decapitating you instantly.
Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
It's true that the best things in life are free, but you've never been the kind of person who demands quality.
Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
The ghost of Roger Troutman magically appears to you whenever you do something funky, which explains why you've seen him only once.
Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
You thought pulling off the heist would be as easy as taking candy from a baby, but then you found out the four tons of fine imported Italian chocolates had to be kept at a constant temperature.
Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
Upon your death this Friday, you'll find that entrance to heaven is granted only to members and those non-members who first agree to view a half-millennium sales presentation for condos in Elysium.
Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
Many major changes are ahead for you this week, but you'll probably give most of your attention to the changes involving temperature, altitude, and brain activity.
Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
You'll be overcome with a mixture of empathy and annoyance when you accidentally stumble into the closet where all the suppressed homosexuals hang out.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
You have an irrefutable message concerning the importance of psychoactive drugs in personal development, but no one will heed your boring, hyper-rational lectures.
Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
In your quest for supremacy, you'll be accused of overlooking the human cost. But you'll know that's ridiculous—you've already spent well over $700.
Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
Everyone is aware that you don't care what the people say, but that doesn't mean they'll listen when you tell them you're going to love them anyway.
Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
Your willingness to gamble on extreme long shots is endearing, but you never should've bet your life savings on the Bears to win the 1986 world championship.
burner69
Newbie
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- Oct 21, 2004
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- 1,587
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kirovman said:Is that the same as this DVD I have, called Jam? It's got Chris Morris on, and the guys from Big Train.
But I haven't seen it yet, because I went home last month, and left it in the DVD player there
Yeah probably, it's really dark - like really really dark, but they pull it off fantastically. There's one skit about these two parents talking about their 6-yearold child, then half way through the conversation the dad goes "Incidently, did he come home from school today." "No" And they're just totally casual about it, don't give a crap. In the end it turns out the lad was kidnapped, raped and murdered, and when the police try and get them round to identify the body the dad says "Well, I'm a bit busy tonight... could you bring him over?" and when the dad tells the mother who killed her son she's like "Yeah, you can tell him I'm pretty p*ssed off... silly twit."
Really really dark.
If anyone's got any space online I could upload them onto gimme a shout.
xcellerate
Tank
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- Dec 7, 2004
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- 3,961
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why couldn't helen keller* drive?
because she was a woman!
*helen keller is an alabama woman who was born mute, blind and deaf.
because she was a woman!
*helen keller is an alabama woman who was born mute, blind and deaf.
haha.. new one:
EugeN says:
oi, can i use your steam account till the term holidays ?
EugeN says:
or ill buy it off you, you can get them for >$30 on ebay, ill give you $25 since its registered...
ME:
haha... funny joke
EugeN says:
im actually serious
EugeN says:
....
ME:
no
EugeN says:
you cant play them anyway
EugeN says:
you dont play during the school term
ME:
your point?
ME:
you get me banned....then i cant play
ME:
no
EugeN says:
er
EugeN says:
...
EugeN says:
wtf
EugeN says:
i would hell get you banned
EugeN says:
-.-
ME:
i said no
:| fool... we're not all that dummy
EugeN says:
oi, can i use your steam account till the term holidays ?
EugeN says:
or ill buy it off you, you can get them for >$30 on ebay, ill give you $25 since its registered...
ME:
haha... funny joke
EugeN says:
im actually serious
EugeN says:
....
ME:
no
EugeN says:
you cant play them anyway
EugeN says:
you dont play during the school term
ME:
your point?
ME:
you get me banned....then i cant play
ME:
no
EugeN says:
er
EugeN says:
...
EugeN says:
wtf
EugeN says:
i would hell get you banned
EugeN says:
-.-
ME:
i said no
:| fool... we're not all that dummy
MrMan
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- Nov 19, 2004
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- 644
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What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawkins in a house fire (ooooo)
How do welshmen (sorry) find a sheep in long grass?
Irrisistable
Why does Micheal Jackson spread dairylea on his winky?
Kids'll do anything for the taste of dairylea (oldie.goldie)
Steven Hawkins in a house fire (ooooo)
How do welshmen (sorry) find a sheep in long grass?
Irrisistable
Why does Micheal Jackson spread dairylea on his winky?
Kids'll do anything for the taste of dairylea (oldie.goldie)
