Competition: Christmas card greeting text for a girl

Reginald

Reginald

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OK, so I've been inarticulate all day. I've stumbled over sentences and my vocabulary has been stunted. And I blame you guys. Yes you guys. I stayed up till 4 o'clock playing Left 4 Dead with you last night.

Anyway, I reckon you owe me. I'm struggling to write a Christmas card to a pretty girl. I'm not seeing her until Boxing Day so I've got a bit of time, but I need you guys to give me some text to go in between the "Dear _______" and the "From _________".

The most unanimously fantastic one will go in her card and she will read it.

Sound like fun?

Go.
 
Dear _______ ,

I want to stick it in your butt and then cum all over your hair.

From Reginald
 
Dear Charlotte,

You've probably got a lot of greeting cards over the years, I mean, you are immensely attractive. Have I ever told you how your hair smells like honey/sugar/recently washed kittens? It does. And my you have pretty eyes.

I won't take up much more of your time

I want, desperately, madly, deeply, to be inside you.

I want you to imagine licking my dick trickles.

Love and kisses from
Reginald.
 
Dear Manfried,


I hope you have a happy christmas. Please pick up some meat on your way back from the market and i'll promise i'll re-emburse you. Pick any kind of meat, just not the mince, the quality has been poor of late.

I'm starving.

Contently,
Reginald
 
Dear Dabresha,

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but
You're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Much love,
Reginald
 
Reginald said:
OK, so I've been inarticulate all day. I've stumbled over sentences and my vocabulary has been stunted. And I blame you guys. Yes you guys. I stayed up till 4 o'clock playing Left 4 Dead with you last night.
Click to expand...
That's not our fault! It was enjoyable too, you know it.

Anyway, I think you should be honest and truthful. Girls love that kind of thing.

Dear Pretty Girl,

I've been inarticulate all day. I've stumbled over sentences and my vocabulary has been stunted. I stayed up till 4 o'clock playing Left 4 Dead last night, I never thought of you once.

Merry Christmas

All my love,
Reg
Click to expand...
 
Lol, you are asking hl2.net to write you a greeting card to a chick? I'm sure you already knew how this one would turn out.

Dear _______ ,

I promise I didn't have the internet write me this card.

From Reginald

ps...I want to stick it in ur butt...lol!!!1
Click to expand...
 
No Limit said:
Lol, you are asking hl2.net to write you a greeting card to a chick? I'm sure you already knew how this one would turn out.
Click to expand...

That's the fun, yah?

And hey, if you all get me laid, it'll be worth having to suffer through L$D with you guys.
 
If you're giving it to her in person it doesn't really matter. Just say some romantic shit rather than akwardly professing it through a card.
 
Dear (bitch),

I hope you have a merry christmas,
and a happy new year,
We all know it's not nixmas,
but I want you near,
you're the only one I want,
to be with this day,
now I'm not going to taunt,
But I have something to say,
I'm gay.

Cheers,
(******)
Click to expand...
You can change that last line if you want. The poem format will give you +1 awesomeness.
Also, you get to write a greeting card for my girlfriend. Go.
 
Koola Mena said:
Dear Manfried,


I hope you have a happy christmas. Please pick up some meat on your way back from the market and i'll promise i'll re-emburse you. Pick any kind of meat, just not the mince, the quality has been poor of late.

I'm starving.

Contently,
Reginald
Click to expand...
Oh god I lulled.
 
Corp. Sheepo said:
If you're giving it to her in person it doesn't really matter. Just say some romantic shit rather than akwardly professing it through a card.
Click to expand...
Because awkward in person is better than awkward in writing?

Well, marginally perhaps.
 
Dear Nuala,
You have scandalised my mother, you dirty Jezebel,
It was bad enough to have eight maids-a-milking dancing to punk music on the front lawn but theyve now been joined by your friends ~ the eleven Lords-a-leaping and the antics of the whole lot of them would leave the most decadent days of the Roman Empire looking like Outlook. Ill get you yet, you ould bag!
Yours affectionately,
Gobnait O'Lnasa
 
SWEET JESUS POEM FORMAT HELL YEAH, LET'S GO


Dearest Rachel,

I hear you like cocks,
and all kinds of rocks
so I wrapped both in a box,
covered it in locks
the keys in my heart,
but a good place to start
is my dick

Love Reginald
 
Dear Antoine Del Pedredas,

Christmas time is almost here
And santa and his crew
have got you the bestest gift this year:
it's me, inside of you.

I know your stocking needs a stuff
your chimney needs a lickin',
and you know me, well I'd just love
to give you a seasons ribbin'.

So merry christmas little deary,
I know you'll love this card.
And you can unwrap your present early
but don't shake it too hard...

'cuz I'll cum.

All my love,
Reg 'missile-toe' inald.
 
Bad^Hat said:
Because awkward in person is better than awkward in writing?

Well, marginally perhaps.
Click to expand...
Everything gets increasingly more akward the less direct it gets. You can communicat a simple but beautiful message easily, face-to-face. But in writing it often comes across as mushy bullshit (because it is).
Corp. Sheepo said:
SWEET JESUS POEM FORMAT HELL YEAH, LET'S GO


Dearest Rachel,

I hear you like cocks,
and all kinds of rocks
so I wrapped both in a box,
covered it in locks
the keys in my heart,
but a good place to start
is my dick

Love Reginald
Click to expand...

^So it isn't lost to the first page
 
Dear Rachel,

I just wanted to wish you a Very Merry Christmas, you deserve it more than most.

I know you have probably been wondering as to why I have not attended Sunday mass as of lately, especially near such a joyous occasion of the birth of our Lord Jesus...

Well please, let me explain.

Last week I was in a spiritual dilemma and needed to speak to Father Michael.
As I walked into the empty church and headed towards to the back room, I saw Father on his knees, masturbating feverishly to The Nativity Scene...

He heard me, and abruptly stopped and turned around with a gasp. He stood up to attempt a quick escape, however he tripped over his garments, and I quickly left out of embarrassment...


From your friend,

Daniel.


PS- Tell Lucy I said hey!
 
Dearest Wanda,
If you tell anyone about my impotency I'll slit your throat.
yours,
Reggie
 
Dear __________,

Enjoy your ****ing card.

Love, The Guy Who Gave You This Card
 
Koola Mena said:
Dear Manfried,


I hope you have a happy christmas. Please pick up some meat on your way back from the market and i'll promise i'll re-emburse you. Pick any kind of meat, just not the mince, the quality has been poor of late.

I'm starving.

Contently,
Reginald
Click to expand...

+1 for this
 
Reginald said:
OK, so I've been inarticulate all day. I've stumbled over sentences and my vocabulary has been stunted. And I blame you guys. Yes you guys. I stayed up till 4 o'clock playing Left 4 Dead with you last night.

Anyway, I reckon you owe me. I'm struggling to write a Christmas card to a pretty girl. I'm not seeing her until Boxing Day so I've got a bit of time, but I need you guys to give me some text to go in between the "Dear _______" and the "From _________".

The most unanimously fantastic one will go in her card and she will read it.

Sound like fun?

Go.
Click to expand...

Dear _______ ,
I like you, do you like me?
[ ]Yes [ ]No

I write to you in this manner because I am shy and inexperienced with the ladies and I would like to initiate courtship with you that may perhaps, if we are both fortunate, end in mating rituals.

I can promise I'll be funny, charming, a total gentlemen, but also ever so slightly arrogant, I'll struggle and succeed to meet your confused expectations and desires for your man to be, I'll even try and appear like a man, though I am not.

Also I have an income which I'll happily let you abuse to your hearts content.

Sincerely,
Reginald
Official Tea Monitor

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also I am noticing HL2.net is rather obsessed with butt-love. Guys, I know many of us have never experienced the warmth of a woman but being nerds we should have some vague idea of the correct anatomical features for intercourse.


Hint: The pewp shewt isn't right.
 
Now, Reginald, what you have to do is make a card for each of the letters written so far, with "from: <hl2.netter>" on each one, and give them all to her (plus a real one from you).
 
Naudian said:
Now, Reginald, what you have to do is make a card for each of the letters written so far, with "from: <hl2.netter>" on each one, and give them all to her (plus a real one from you).
Click to expand...
As if to say "all these guys are weirdos, see how normal I am!" ?
 
Had a bit too much to drink last night and thought it would be a good idea.

Now that I have sobered up... I still think it's a great idea. Keep going guys. One with the most accolade on Boxing Day morn will be written.
 
Dear _____,

I have been playing a video game recently, I may have told you about it. Admittedly you're not the best listener, but I think that's probably best for both our sakes seeing as I have a hard time thinking of what to say. Anyway, it's called Left 4 Dead. Basically, it's the end of the world as we know it (har har) and the objective of the game is to kill as many zombies as you can, and fight like hell to stay alive and evacuate. I had been playing this game until 4am a few days ago and was rather enjoying myself, when I had to stop playing. A thought crossed through my mind and it left me for dead.

What if you were a zombie?

Unlike most other questions of this nature, this one was not about evaluating the pros and cons of the situation. If it were, I imagine the immediate pro would be an increase in submissiveness, but the cons would be too much to bear. Your smile would be lost to a dead and decaying face, your wit broken to shambles, and your hands as cold as the night. The thought alone made my eyes well up, and I had to quit the game. The 3 other people I was playing with, dear friends of mine (I forgot to mention, it's a co-op game) did not appreciate this at all, but I felt that this was more important. You mean more to me than any video game could.

I'm glad you're not a zombie.

Merry Christmas.

From _____.
 
Dear Ho
i know its Christmas and its a time for good will but
Wheres my Money

regards
Your Pimp
 
I wrote this for my woman so it this will definitely work trust me.

Dear _____,

merry christmas

Love ______
 
Avoidist said:
Dear _____,

I have been playing a video game recently, I may have told you about it. Admittedly you're not the best listener, but I think that's probably best for both our sakes seeing as I have a hard time thinking of what to say. Anyway, it's called Left 4 Dead. Basically, it's the end of the world as we know it (har har) and the objective of the game is to kill as many zombies as you can, and fight like hell to stay alive and evacuate. I had been playing this game until 4am a few days ago and was rather enjoying myself, when I had to stop playing. A thought crossed through my mind and it left me for dead.

What if you were a zombie?

Unlike most other questions of this nature, this one was not about evaluating the pros and cons of the situation. If it were, I imagine the immediate pro would be an increase in submissiveness, but the cons would be too much to bear. Your smile would be lost to a dead and decaying face, your wit broken to shambles, and your hands as cold as the night. The thought alone made my eyes well up, and I had to quit the game. The 3 other people I was playing with, dear friends of mine (I forgot to mention, it's a co-op game) did not appreciate this at all, but I felt that this was more important. You mean more to me than any video game could.

I'm glad you're not a zombie.

Merry Christmas.

From _____.
Click to expand...



I think we have a winner.
 
Dear hoe,

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Reginald

PS: This message is for your eyes only. Eat it after reading, in case the cockmanglers are onto me.
 
Dear dickass,

dickass dickass dickass dickass dickass.

ALIEN CANCER

Sincerely,
dickass
 
yo dawg i herd u like christmas so i put some christmas in yo card so yo could go ho ho ho like santa!
 
Dear Marcristwana,

I want u
u want me
Let us sex my bed till morning
With my great, big dick
that your friend can lick.
Wont you say you want it, too

Love, with all my penis;
Devastating Reggie the lover of Veggie
 
just send a pic of of your dick whit a litle christmas hat and "want this to get deep in your chimmey?*naughty face*" and you are done
 
Dear ________,

Does this card smell of chloroform?

Lo
 
Dear Shaniqua,
luv yo ass baby i wana c u shake it 4 me haha aight
Love Reggie-Dawg

You gotta keep the names just like that.
 
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