Corny Jokes Thread

[Officer Combine]

Just figured I'd make one. List all your corny jokes here:

Why did the computer fail so badly at showbiz?

He only could handle one gig.

 

[Stigmata]

What's 8 times 3.1415?





Octopi.

 

[Officer Combine]

What's 8 times 3.1415?





Octopi.

:dozey:

 

[lefty]

You asked for corny.

 

[mchammer75040]

What did the buddhist say at the hot dog stand? Make me one with everything.

 

[Officer Combine]

What did the buddhist say at the hot dog stand? I want one with everything.

Can't say I get it.

 

[Officer Combine]

20 people are dyslexic. John and Amy.

Edit: sorry doublepost.

 

[Qonfused]

Spell IHOP fast and add "ness."

 

[xcellerate]

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic association.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why couldn't helen keller drive? Because she was a woman.

 

[Officer Combine]

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic association.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why couldn't helen keller drive? Because she was a woman.

I liked the DNA one alot.

 

[CyberPitz]

Spell IHOP fast and add "ness."

OK, I lawled.

 

[mchammer75040]

Can't say I get it.

lol I said it wrong read it again.

 

[Officer Combine]

lol I said it wrong read it again.

I still don't get it but it makes more sense.

 

[Stigmata]

If you don't get it, then it doesn't make sense to you

 

[Disrupted_Hunter]

Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights!

 

[Darkedge34]

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Spoiler

Get in the car.

 

[Felix]

What's the difference between shit in a bucket and this thread?

The bucket.

 

[Reginald]

I got an infraction and my custom title taken away for making a joke thread earlier this week.

 

[Disrupted_Hunter]

Everyone loves jokes though, admins can't take these jokes away! They're te only thing keeping me sane!!!!

 

[bam23]

what's the deal with airline food?

*ba-dum kish*

 

[Commander Xillian]

Two men walk into a bar.

You'd think the second one would have ducked.

 

[Sir Phoenixx]

Two men walk into a bar, the third guy ducks.

 

[Disrupted_Hunter]

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
GETTING RAPED!

 

[knut]

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Spoiler

Get in the car.

Oh god, that joke. This joke MADE my weekend at Download Festival in the campsite. Sidesplitting every time and to this day, we still don't know why.

I had no idea it was an actual joke, mind, I thought my friend made it up. Still hilarious.

 

[jet_porkins]

What are you when a cop finds you peeing on the side of a wall?

Spoiler

Urine trouble

 

[xcellerate]

If you're american when you walk into the bathroom and american when you walk out, what are you while you're in the bathroom? European!

 

[Disrupted_Hunter]

This is needed for many of these:
http://www.instantrimshot.com/

 

[Kula Meenur]

What's the similarity between Chad Kroger and a packet of nails?

Spoiler

I want to hit both with a hammer.

What's red, blue and pink and doesn't like anal sex?

Spoiler

The three year old in my trunk.

 

[Naph]

What did the tree say the cat?

Spoiler

Bark.

What's the difference between Chad Kroger and a packet of nails?

Spoiler

I want to hit both with a hammer.

Wait. Isn't that a similarity? D:

 

[Escaep]

Knock Knock.

 

[Dinkleberry]

You know they had to make an especially deep coffin for Bilbo Baggins?
Old hobbits die hard.

 

[Kula Meenur]

Wait. Isn't that a similarity? D:

I stand erected! Thanks for correcting the fallicy mate!

 

[Officer Combine]

What are you when a cop finds you peeing on the side of a wall?

Spoiler

Urine trouble

This one was the best one of the page.

 

[PvtRyan]

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman asks: "Why the long face?"

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler

Feminists can't change a goddamn thing!

 

[Sir Phoenixx]

What's an archeologist?

Spoiler

Someone whose career is in ruins.

What do you call four matadors in quicksand?

Spoiler

Quatro sinko.

 

[Officer Combine]

What's an archeologist?

Spoiler

Someone whose career is in ruins.

What do you call four matadors in quicksand?

Spoiler

Quatro sinko.

Both of these were very awesome.

 

[Dynasty]

Whats the worst thing about gang rape?

Spoiler

Going last

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Spoiler

Watch Jurrasic Park again you div

A blonde gets paid to paint a guys porch. When she's done she knocks on the door and says she's done, and as she walks away she turns back and says 'Oh and by the way, its porsche'.

 

[Rizzo]

Nah she said it was a ferrari.

 

[Cornerstone]

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman asks: "Why the long face?"

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "Why the long face?"

 

[NeptuneUK]

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common?

Very little.