Funny sleep talking stories

Mellish

Mellish

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I was inspired to make this thread when I saw the SA comedy goldmine article on it. I litreally choked on my laughter when I saw it. I want to hear more so post away. I'll start.

It was in the middle of the night. According to my mum I randomly screamed
"HOLY S*** IT'S JONATHON ROSS! GET THE GUN!". For people who do not live in the UK Jonathon Ross is overpaid comedian/talkshow host.
 
ya your mom randomly screams things out in the middle of the night too ....
 
.... I am just going to pretend you didn't say that.
 
according to my roommate I talk in my sleep a lot, but it's usually incoherent or nonsensical
 
Mellish said:
.... I am just going to pretend you didn't say that.
Click to expand...

pretend all you want ..helps if you cover your ears too







my wife says I sometimes making shooting noises in my sleep ..sometimes I aim by holding my arm in front of me
 
My mom told me that I once went into her room and just stood by the bed. She woke up and asked me what I what was wrong, and I said
"nothing"
So she asked what I was doing.
"nothing"
"Devin..."
"What?" (in a sort of agitated "what do you want!?" way)

etc.

I was reminded of this today when I was reading about some drug trip experiences and a guy did the exact same thing according to his mom.

Anyway, that's the only time I've every sleepwalked (that anyone has told me about) and I don't think I ever talk in my sleep. Though one time I was very tired and thought someone who was talking about me was talking about something completely different and my responses seemed kind of funny.
 
Years ago, me and a few mates had a free house so we all went over and hung around.

Hours later, we're all relatively unconcious when one of the lads starts to murmer. The sound is faint at first, very incomprehensible. Then it begins to take shape.

"Ahh wanna..."

After some time he begins to speak up with a few more words. "I wanna bgggg..."

In between snores and turning, he reaches out to the heavens, flat on his back and shouts:
"I WANNA BIG BANANA!"

We fell about laughing. It was absolutely hilarious. He remembers nothing either, so he never believed us.
 
I stood up in the middle of the night, walked over to my girlfriends (my wife now) gymbag, pulled it out and started peeing ..she woke up and yelled at me ..apparently I put it back in my pants and went to the washroom ..she still brings it up every now and then
 
CptStern said:
ya your mom randomly screams things out in the middle of the night too ....
Click to expand...

Now now children play nice ;)

I stood up in the middle of the night, walked over to my girlfriends (my wife now) gymbag, pulled it out and started peeing ..she woke up and yelled at me ..apparently I put it back in my pants and went to the washroom ..she still brings it up every now and then
Click to expand...

My gosh how did that woman ever end up your wife????
 
A friend of mine was on a bus during a school trip to France. They were driving overnight and everyone was asleep. Suddenly he stood up and yelled "WHAT'S THE QUESTION?!", waking up the entire bus, then sat back down still sleeping. When they woke him up he had no idea it happened.


Sad story about sleepwalking:
The son of one of my mum's friends was staying in a hotel room with some friends on holiday when he got up in the middle of the night and started wandering around (something he apparently did at home occasionally). He ended up walking out to the balcony, and fell over it to the street below, killing himself.
As if that wasn't bad enough the police held and questioned all his friends as, since it was a locked room with no sign of forced entry, they were all murder suspects. They got that sorted out eventually, but shit, that would be horriffic.
 
My brother always speaks an alien language when he's sleeping or after he wakes up. It's completely bizarre.

And I don't think he knows he does it.
 
Sad story about sleepwalking:
The son of one of my mum's friends was staying in a hotel room with some friends on holiday when he got up in the middle of the night and started wandering around (something he apparently did at home occasionally). He ended up walking out to the balcony, and fell over it to the street below, killing himself.
As if that wasn't bad enough the police held and questioned all his friends as, since it was a locked room with no sign of forced entry, they were all murder suspects. They got that sorted out eventually, but shit, that would be horriffic.
Click to expand...

Thats very sad but I don't want this thread to become too depressing
 
I can remember my friend's mum telling me she heard me chattering away in my sleep, but she refused outright to tell me what I'd said. I shudder to think what it must have been.
 
Christ, Eejit :(
Why couldn't you put the funny story after the sad one :(

Shit like that scares the **** out of me when it comes to sleepwalking.
 
Oh my god... this reminds me. I hope my brother isn't reading this, because he'll be pissed off at me.

But once in Alaska... he was sleeping in the living room, and my friend Josh was over(his friend too though). He woke up suddenly while we were watching, and I quote his words as he was still pretty much mentally asleep, "I ain't got the pencil".

Oh my god... we teased him for years after that. It became an inside joke.


"I ain't got the pencil."
 
I apparently walked into my brothers room and said:

"Graham?"

"yeah?"

"Don't let..don't let the squirrels in."

"What?"

"Watch out for the squirrels"


Then there was also the time on my canoe trip when I woke up in the middle of the night to find Wanted Bob curled up in a ball at the bottom of the tent (we were on an incline). When I asked him is he wanted to come back up he said:

"One second, I've got another canoe to carry."

So I went back to bed.
 
When my cousin slept over one time, I had falled asleep before him, and he asked "Hey, can I have a blanket?" to which I unknowingly responded, "Use your imagination"

:p
 
Emporius said:
Then there was also the time on my canoe trip when I woke up in the middle of the night to find Wanted Bob curled up in a ball at the bottom of the tent (we were on an incline). When I asked him is he wanted to come back up he said:

"One second, I've got another canoe to carry."

So I went back to bed.
Click to expand...

Beat me to it :p

Other than that it's mostly nonsensical stuff.

"Buuuuuu..... Ngfuh...."
 
My dad occasionally talks in his sleep.

*Mumble mumble*

"Huh?"

*MUMBLE MUMBLE*

"What?

"TAKE THE BOBBLES OFF THE FUR COAT!"

D:

-Angry Lawyer
 
I was sleepwalking once and I woke up in someone elses house. I was holding a few boxes of matches in my hands and there were burnt out matches everywhere and there was an awful stench of smoke. I was so freaked out I climbed out the window straight away and ran off.

-riomhaire
 
Well once when I slept at my friend's house I started yelling something like "THEY ARE COMING THEY ARE COMING!"
I woke everybody in the house. Very uncomfortable. :eek:
 
Rather odd that you talk about burnt out matches right below Angry Lawyer, riomhaire.
 
Emporius said:
I apparently walked into my brothers room and said:

"Graham?"

"yeah?"

"Don't let..don't let the squirrels in."

"What?"

"Watch out for the squirrels"
Click to expand...

This made me lol.

Vegeta897 said:
Rather odd that you talk about burnt out matches right below Angry Lawyer, riomhaire.
Click to expand...

This made me afraid. That story is so freaking creepy.
 
I was sleeping over at my cousin's house, and he told me the next day that I made strange motions with my arms.
What I said was:
Me- mumble
Cousin- Wha?
Me- GORDON GET THE CROWBAR! THE COMBINE ARE COMING! WHY DON"T YOU SPEAK!?!
And then it so happens that I was making crowbar swinging motions.
 
I was on a school trip where everyone (all the males at least) had to sleep in the same room. One of my friends shot straight up in the middle of the night, and yelled, "WHOA MAN WHOA! That girl has such a nice a..." and trailed off before he finished.

He pretty much woke up the whole room :D
 
Most of the time I sleeptalk is when I'm half-asleep, like when I'm just falling asleep and starting to dream or if I'm already asleep and someone starts talking to me. Apparently I've carried on conversations that I have no recollection of in the morning.

Two notable times I do remember were when I was hanging out with Greenkata and I fell asleep; both times he was watching TV. The first time we were watching a detective show and I was nodding off and he said,

"You're going to fall asleep."
"No, I'm still awake."
"You don't even know what's going on."

And I did fall asleep right after he said that, but about an hour or two later I woke up to reply, "Two guys in trenchcoats," which was what had been on TV when he asked me. It's become an in-joke.

And some other time, I can't remember why, but I woke up mumble-singing, "White Ranger Tiger Power." I think he must've been watching Power Rangers.

Oh, and when I was a lot younger, about ten or twelve, my aunt told me there was one night where I woke up three times screaming my head off for no reason, and I'd stop, look around, and then fall right back asleep. I actually have no recollection of doing that.
 
Apparently, I mumble in my sleep a lot. Or moan. I think it's my revenge on people who snore.

My mom told me hat one time, I walked into her room carrying a blanket and a pillow, and just stood there, and she tried to talk to me for like, five minutes, and I didn't say anything. Then I went back to bed.
 
Me and a few friends were sleeping at this dudes apartment. In the middle of the night, one of my friends slept walked to the refrigerator and started pissing all over the food. we walk up to him and just watched what the **** he was doing. He closed the door and went to bed like nothing happened. The next morning we showed him the video from one of our cell phones and he didn't remember a damn thing. Not really sleep talking but something entirely wierder.
 
Que-Ever said:
Apparently, I mumble in my sleep a lot. Or moan. I think it's my revenge on people who snore.

My mom told me hat one time, I walked into her room carrying a blanket and a pillow, and just stood there, and she tried to talk to me for like, five minutes, and I didn't say anything. Then I went back to bed.
Click to expand...
I swear, man, what is it with walking into moms' bedrooms and standing there when sleepwalking.
 
Haha this brings back some funny memories.. Yeah I do tend to sleep talk a bit. Does not always make much sense and I only really do it when in my dream i'm really upset about something, scared or angry. Strong emotions anyway. One occasion, at a camp, it was about 5am and for no reason at all I just yelled out "BOP". The guy next to me looked at me and asked what that was and I just lay there hoping he would go back to sleep and think it was a dream or something. I can't think of what made me yell that out..
 
I once was sleepwalking, and I pissed in my sisters shoes. The next day she puts her feet into the shoes and screams because it is wet. It was also a rainy day, and they were her only shoes. She wore sandals instead.
 
I remember my mother telling me when i was about 10 that i had walked into her room and tried to piss in her dresser XD

Also i broke my hand flinging it up and hitting the wall screaming "YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT - TO PAAAAARTY!"

And i was dreaming i was in the middle of a war
 
I can remember this one time, camping out in a friend's backyard. I was quietly chatting with one friend when I heard the girl lying next to me say "F*ck I love Nick Cave". That girl is made of win.
 
Actyally, apparently I mummbled the lyrics to Don't Stop Me Now in my sleep.
 
I've had some great ones. When I was five, my family went camping, and my mom woke up to my dad muttering something in gibberish. She was about to fall back asleep when she heard me respond the same way! Apparently, we had an engaging conversation in gibberish for the next 5-10 minutes or so :D

And then there's sleepwalking. I used to sleepwalk a LOT- into my parents' room, the hallway, even down to the basement once. I'd always wake up in weird places wondering how the hell I got there.

Best thing ever, though? I was at a sleepover when I was about 10, and my friend Chris had passed out early. We're all sitting around talking, when out of the corner of my eye I see Chris stand up, walk to the N64, turn it on (sans cartridge) and "play" nothing in particular for about five minutes before he fell asleep in the same position. We were in hysterics the entire time :LOL:
 
Inkheart449 said:
Also i broke my hand flinging it up and hitting the wall screaming "YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT - TO PAAAAARTY!"
Click to expand...

178fathumanbenderwally1es4.jpg
 
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