Half-Life2 jokes

[Admin_Winnuting]

Im bored so im going to make up some jokes right now, You can make your own up too, No1s stopping you.

#1
What do you get when you cross a human with a headcrabs?

Spoiler

A human with head-CRABS... Ahhahaha yes lame.

#2
How do you know when a Zombie is happy?

Spoiler

It dies loling... Again I dont see how this is a joke nor How it's funny.

#3
Why did the Gorden Cross the road?

Spoiler

To get to the other side! These jokes are getting crapper!

#4
What do you do if a Strider Steps on you?

Spoiler

Nothing much you can do is there? Please tell me you can think of some better jokes worth reading!

These jokes are crap! Please post some of your own that are real jokes and funny. :thumbs:

 

[PooSlice]

Another one,












Half life 2 is out.

 

[mortiz]

Another one,












Half life 2 is out.

I don't get it.

 

[Hectic Glenn]

lol these are pretty good...i laughed out of pity. poo yours is just sick!

how about this one.....man walks into a bar....ouch, it was gordon's crowbar!

 

[frances_farmer]

dear me. i despair, i really do

 

[Admin_Winnuting]

"your"

Im looking at this word and it just looks wrong...wrong I tell you!

Right... If you think these jokes ( if you call em jokes) are funny, Have you ever heard a real joke in your life?

 

[KurtCobain]

Arent manny jokes u can make w/ HL2

Urrm lol this 1 is lame

What do u can a man with a headcrab on his head......ahem a Zombie -_-

 

[PvtRyan]

Doom 3 pwns HL2.

rofl.

 

[Robert]

What's the diffrence between a Strider?

All the legs are equal, especially the right one!

 

[pyroCow]

Half-Life 2 has gone rainbow!! Itll be released on October 30th !!!1



(no it wont!!!1)

 

[Ryjalon5k]

What's the diffrence between a Strider?

All the legs are equal, especially the right one!

HAHa, i stole your avatar! it rocks..lmao.


Edit, i now have a customized version of your avatar.

 

[bouche]

How many geeks does it take to open a HL2 box and install it?

Two. Since they don't have girlfriends, they've only got one hand free.

 

[KurtCobain]

How many geeks does it take to open a HL2 box and install it?

Two. Since they don't have girlfriends, they've only got one hand free.

Lmao , (stereotypical) but still quite amusing

 

[KurtCobain]

Doom 3 pwns HL2.

rofl.

Thats the best joke yet

 

[burner69]

Why must a strider's sexual organs be on it's feet?

Cus when it steps on u, ur ****ed! :imu:

BA DOM TSSSH

 

[JBrown03]

What do you get when you cross a human with a headcrabs?

YOu get bad grammar by the looks of it.

 

[ManHacks]

Doom 3 pwns HL2.

rofl.

i give that first place.

 

[Chiefi]

What's the difference between the g-man and a g-spot?










...None, they're both hard to find.

 

[Kalath]

Ehrm, let's give it a try.

Why did Gordon walk over the street?

Spoiler

'Cause he couldn't fly, lol

So, why did the zombie cross the street then?

Spoiler

'Cause he couldn't fly either

 

[pixartist]

lol some good jokes here...unfortunately i cant imagine a good one..
well:
whats the difference between a zombie and fileplanet?





... none they are both slow and ugly...HAHAHH..not funny

 

[Aknot]

Why did the Headcrab cross the road?






Because he was stapled to a Chicken.

 

[Bait]

What did Gordon say to the therapist?

Spoiler

Nothing. He doesn't talk. Why did you even bother looking.

How original.

 

[LAYP]

What did valve blame to delay of half life on?

Spoiler

there was a gold shortage

omg to funny

what did gabe call his childeren

Spoiler

valve and vivendi (his bastard child)

How did they come up with the idea of counterstrike?

Spoiler

Went to the future and downloaded all the counterstrike clone mods.

 

[raipekass]

Alyx and Barney are in bed.
Alyx: Barney, you **** better than Gordon!
Barney: I know, your father says the same...

 

[pixartist]

Alyx and Barney are in bed.
Alyx: Barney, you **** better than Gordon!
Barney: I know, your father says the same...

lol that is another joke:

a boy ****s his sister...he says:"Wow...you are better than mum!" she answers: "Yeah, thats what dad said too!"

 

[raipekass]

Question about the first scene from Opposing Force:

Why corporal Shepard crashed his helicopter on his first flight?

Spoiler

He felt cold and decided to turn of the ventilator.

 

[TeckBlade]

what do u get when u cross xen with earth?

Spoiler

a resonance cascade

 

[evil^milk]

once upon a time, gordon was walking. he met a crumple-horned snorkak on the way, and he said, "Aye". He tripped and fell into the abyss, where dreams came true.

 

[eLGee]

Not really HL2, but anyway. And don't take this the wrong way, I love Gabe, and I want to marry him. And that wasn't a joke.

Here goes.

Why did Gabe Newell cross the road?

Spoiler

There was a KFC on the other side.

 

[KurtCobain]

What's the difference between the g-man and a g-spot?

...None, they're both hard to find.

best joke so far tbh lol

 

[KurtCobain]

The Fileplanet one was funny too lol

 

[pyroCow]

Why did the chicken leave CS Italy?

Spoiler

Because he got run over while crossing the road

 

[burner69]

OK, I'm a bit mashed so these might be really random:

Why couldn't the tomato ketchup company mass produce and easily ship their product with a new futuristic invention?

Because the sauce engine wasn't released

Where do the birds off the trap town bink video hang out?

The crow bar

What happened when Black Mesa threw garlic and bagettes into the big machine thing off half life?

There was a renaissance cascade

What happened when Gordon went down on Alyx?

He got head crabs

 

[Admin_Winnuting]

burner69
Thank you for having real jokes, I liked them.

 

[KurtCobain]

Ye burners were actually v funny

 

[Solver]

As it was seen before, in a discussion on getting on boxes.

So, how will we get on top of boxes in HL2, mantling or what? Same as in HL1... crouch-jump.


How will Gordon get on top of Alyx? Crouch-jump.

 

[UmbrellaMaster]

So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his fly... wait a second, that's not HL2!

Nice jokes folks. Got a chuckle out of me on a couple. (I liked the G-Man/G-spot one as well )

 

[bate18]

What did gordon say when the combine soldier pushed him?

geee- man!!

 

[DEATH eVADER]

Headcrabs= Headhumpers

A work of genius by Barney's witty side

 

[AlaskanStewie]

I don't hate Gabe, I'm just making a joke No pun intended.


How many children did Gabe have?









11. All of them were delicious.