hands above the sheets!
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Farrowlesparrow
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All that sexual repression you see in us during the day(when we're not drunk of course, which lets face is between about 10Am when last night wears off, to 11Am when the pubs open), comes out in a fury of activity behind closed doors...
xLostx
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one of the funnier times I'd say was after a lengthy period of "watching a movie" with an ex I walked out of my room to use the bathroom and my face was beet red and my hair was a mess my mom was like "you fell asleep didnt you"...I'm like yes...i was sleeping....lol
Pesmerga
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Err yeah, I was jerkin it totally butt naked on my chair in front of my comp in my room and my dad knocks on the door. I'm comfortable with my reply, "I'm getting dressed" and then like he knows I'm doing it, he just opens the door up and peeks his head in, laughs, and closes the door behind him. He then proceeded to **** my step-mom.
At least my mom didn't catch me, that'd be horrible, just horrible.
At least my mom didn't catch me, that'd be horrible, just horrible.
KoreBolteR
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Dalamari said:
weird i just put this movie on and i read you talk about it! (forrest gump) :thumbs:
on-topic: im a good boy :E
Pesmerga
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Oh it is. But it's not like he laughed at me in ridicule, he's just seeing his boy grow up in his normal daddy fashion. I had my arm over my dick and I was just staring at him, frozen like a deer staring into headlights. It was awkward the next day for a few hours and then we both just laughed it off.
I'm a god damn sex machine.
I'm a god damn sex machine.
KoreBolteR
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Shamrock i dno why, but i cant stop laughing at your will smith avatar. 
Icarusintel
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i went over to this one kid's house who was in my grade, another kid from my grade was there and we were out by the pool and his mom was a little ways away, now, this friend was fat, and i decided to make a joke about him emptying the pool when he jumped in, but i did it extremely softly
somehow his mother heard it, and she just said "hey!" and looked at me, but damn if i;ve never felt smaller in my whole life
somehow his mother heard it, and she just said "hey!" and looked at me, but damn if i;ve never felt smaller in my whole life
Homless Snark
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Okay, I posted this on a diff. forum that i frequent more often.
"So, I was at my girlfriend house earlier today and we were watching a movie. Things get going and next thing I know we're having sex on her couch. About 40 minutes (solid 25 minutes of revving up engines) after start I decide to "hit it from the back all proper like" So doin' the doggy and she's moaning and stuff, and i'm holding her hair back with my face ----ed (*da-doom-chh*) back facing the cieling. Next thing I hear is "Oh my God!" and i say something along the lines of "Yeah, you like that baby." and then a second later I hear a little yelp and a loud shout "MOM!".
I have my eyes closed and face looking at the ceiling, all I could think of was where my clothes were laying, and what was the closest exit. I sit motionless for a few seconds, look down, and am meeted by the shocked face of my girlfriends mother, and the shocked face of my girlfriends father. Apparently, she hadn't told me that they were here for a week for thanksgiving, and that they were out shopping. So there I was, holding onto this guy's daughter's thighs. And the father has this pissed off look at says "What the hell do you think you're doing?" and in my stupidity, and in the spur of the moment, I stammer out. "I'm screwing your daughter."
So there it is, i just offended my girlfriend, embarrassed her completely infront of her parents. Ticked her father off for my smart ass remarks, and gaven her mother a picture in her mind that she'll never forget."
later on somebody asked how were you having doggy on a couch, and i had to explain because they failed to realize taht if you do it length wise it is easily done.
"So, I was at my girlfriend house earlier today and we were watching a movie. Things get going and next thing I know we're having sex on her couch. About 40 minutes (solid 25 minutes of revving up engines) after start I decide to "hit it from the back all proper like" So doin' the doggy and she's moaning and stuff, and i'm holding her hair back with my face ----ed (*da-doom-chh*) back facing the cieling. Next thing I hear is "Oh my God!" and i say something along the lines of "Yeah, you like that baby." and then a second later I hear a little yelp and a loud shout "MOM!".
I have my eyes closed and face looking at the ceiling, all I could think of was where my clothes were laying, and what was the closest exit. I sit motionless for a few seconds, look down, and am meeted by the shocked face of my girlfriends mother, and the shocked face of my girlfriends father. Apparently, she hadn't told me that they were here for a week for thanksgiving, and that they were out shopping. So there I was, holding onto this guy's daughter's thighs. And the father has this pissed off look at says "What the hell do you think you're doing?" and in my stupidity, and in the spur of the moment, I stammer out. "I'm screwing your daughter."
So there it is, i just offended my girlfriend, embarrassed her completely infront of her parents. Ticked her father off for my smart ass remarks, and gaven her mother a picture in her mind that she'll never forget."
later on somebody asked how were you having doggy on a couch, and i had to explain because they failed to realize taht if you do it length wise it is easily done.
Mr-Fusion
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Well this story is sort of about getting caught..
It was at a school camp many years ago, i was in a room with about 9 other guys and of course the topic of conversation was about jerking off. For about an hour we talked about how you do it, when you do it, how you clean up and if you've ever been caught. Eventually one guy said "I like it on toast", everyone suddenly went quiet after that comment. So hours of talking about jerking off and one of the female teachers in the room next to us walks in and says "Guys were are trying to sleep here, and we can hear everything you're saying. It's nothing we haven't heard before but please be quiet and let us sleep".
Fair enough
The next week at school one of the teachers had that kid in for detention after school doing some chemistry work when she says "so you like it on toast?". ****kkkk not every day a teacher owns you so badly.
It was at a school camp many years ago, i was in a room with about 9 other guys and of course the topic of conversation was about jerking off. For about an hour we talked about how you do it, when you do it, how you clean up and if you've ever been caught. Eventually one guy said "I like it on toast", everyone suddenly went quiet after that comment. So hours of talking about jerking off and one of the female teachers in the room next to us walks in and says "Guys were are trying to sleep here, and we can hear everything you're saying. It's nothing we haven't heard before but please be quiet and let us sleep".
Fair enough
The next week at school one of the teachers had that kid in for detention after school doing some chemistry work when she says "so you like it on toast?". ****kkkk not every day a teacher owns you so badly.
Homless Snark
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Mr-Fusion said:Well this story is sort of about getting caught..
It was at a school camp many years ago, i was in a room with about 9 other guys and of course the topic of conversation was about jerking off. For about an hour we talked about how you do it, when you do it, how you clean up and if you've ever been caught. Eventually one guy said "I like it on toast", everyone suddenly went quiet after that comment. So hours of talking about jerking off and one of the female teachers in the room next to us walks in and says "Guys were are trying to sleep here, and we can hear everything you're saying. It's nothing we haven't heard before but please be quiet and let us sleep".
Fair enough
The next week at school one of the teachers had that kid in for detention after school doing some chemistry work when she says "so you like it on toast?". ****kkkk not every day a teacher owns you so badly.
why the **** were you talking about it with 9 GUYS
don_johnson
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well coupla of close calls here, turned off monitor as dad was opening the door (phew)...
this is bit off topic, but weird nonetheless. i was at the mall and i had to pee really really bad, so i run to the nearest restroom and take a spot at the urinal. im doing my business and a tall black dude walks into the bathroom and enters a stall. as i am finishing up, i glance at the stall the black guy is in, and i see that he is tall enough to see over the stall wall, and he is staring at me and watched me! very uncomfortable indeed
this is bit off topic, but weird nonetheless. i was at the mall and i had to pee really really bad, so i run to the nearest restroom and take a spot at the urinal. im doing my business and a tall black dude walks into the bathroom and enters a stall. as i am finishing up, i glance at the stall the black guy is in, and i see that he is tall enough to see over the stall wall, and he is staring at me and watched me! very uncomfortable indeed
satch919
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Never been caught whackin off. I have been in some rather uncomfortable situations though.
1. Me and a g/f were looking for a place to do our business in my car so we found an empty parking lot. It was at night and things were getting pretty hot n' heavy when she says to me "Oh shit, a cop!" I thought she was kidding at first until I saw the spotlight on the car. The cop taps on the window and asks what we were doing and I said, "Just sleeping". Smooth response. :smoking: He checked our IDs and told us that they were out looking for a burglary suspect in the area. He laughed it off and told us to find another spot.
2. That same night, we found another parking lot and continued where we left off. All the sudden, I see this dark figure on the passenger side. Some guy was getting into his car and sneeking a peek at us at the same time. Perv.
Good times, good times. I need a g/f. :naughty:
1. Me and a g/f were looking for a place to do our business in my car so we found an empty parking lot. It was at night and things were getting pretty hot n' heavy when she says to me "Oh shit, a cop!" I thought she was kidding at first until I saw the spotlight on the car. The cop taps on the window and asks what we were doing and I said, "Just sleeping". Smooth response. :smoking: He checked our IDs and told us that they were out looking for a burglary suspect in the area. He laughed it off and told us to find another spot.
2. That same night, we found another parking lot and continued where we left off. All the sudden, I see this dark figure on the passenger side. Some guy was getting into his car and sneeking a peek at us at the same time. Perv.
Good times, good times. I need a g/f.
:naughty:
PickledGecko
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Haha. Its called "Dogging".satch919 said:
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never been caught doing it, but i have been caught doing strange things.
once when i was like 13, i stretched my legs and put them on top of the desk. i turned on the computer monitor, i put me headphones on and i started scratchin' my balls as if there was (were? sp) no tomorrow. as i'm hearing music and scratching my balls, i just saw my mom glance at my for an instant and then she continued walking. at dinner time she was like, "Did you wash your hands? God knows where they've been."
this other time, i thought i was home alone. after sleeping for a while, i fancied a good masturbation. but before that i was reading my email, while trying to sing along with AC DC's singer. saying a bunch of nonsense and doing stupid things (as it is something i have no control over when i'm alone), i thought it was a good idea to check the porn channels, but the channels weren't working properly and i could swear i'd said, "SHIT!" out loud. Then it was time to search the computer for porn. while browsing and downloading several videos, i saw my dad through the window closing the door to his car just outside. "GODDAMN SHIT," was what i said. Out loud. i closed all the porn reluctantly and then took another look outside the window, fearing something i thought was impossible. But i saw my mom's car just beside my dad's, meaning my mom was in the house the whole time. i didn't know this because she is so damn silent. later at night i remember her saying, "i think you were singing." and i denied it with lame excuses. God, at least i didn't get caught watching pr0n. I was close though... lol, singing Thunderstruck and cussing while watching porn. get the picture?
once when i was like 13, i stretched my legs and put them on top of the desk. i turned on the computer monitor, i put me headphones on and i started scratchin' my balls as if there was (were? sp) no tomorrow. as i'm hearing music and scratching my balls, i just saw my mom glance at my for an instant and then she continued walking. at dinner time she was like, "Did you wash your hands? God knows where they've been."
this other time, i thought i was home alone. after sleeping for a while, i fancied a good masturbation. but before that i was reading my email, while trying to sing along with AC DC's singer. saying a bunch of nonsense and doing stupid things (as it is something i have no control over when i'm alone), i thought it was a good idea to check the porn channels, but the channels weren't working properly and i could swear i'd said, "SHIT!" out loud. Then it was time to search the computer for porn. while browsing and downloading several videos, i saw my dad through the window closing the door to his car just outside. "GODDAMN SHIT," was what i said. Out loud. i closed all the porn reluctantly and then took another look outside the window, fearing something i thought was impossible. But i saw my mom's car just beside my dad's, meaning my mom was in the house the whole time. i didn't know this because she is so damn silent. later at night i remember her saying, "i think you were singing." and i denied it with lame excuses. God, at least i didn't get caught watching pr0n. I was close though... lol, singing Thunderstruck and cussing while watching porn. get the picture?
burnzie
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Heheh well my gf had a party at her place with her gfs and i was there... we'd had a few drinks... got into some silly tiff about something i cant even remember... went to talk in her room... then we both desided it was stupid. Then as ya do we started getting a little *clickclick* and we had gotten to us both being topless (she still had her bra on) and to the point where my jeans were being unbuttoned with her teeth. At that point the rest of the friends burts into the room ... "so what are you guys up to?!" then they all jumped on the bed.
Now I'd like to take this time to say that this as not as kinky as it sounds...(Belive me)
they al just sat around for half an hour talking about anything but leaving us to it (with a few "pitching a tent" comments along the way :angel: )... then they finaly got kicked out... My gf said "ah well lets go back out there... i need to be social with my friends"
:flame:
Ahh well we still had later that night when they ha all gone to bed themselves... and a rough knock on the door about an hour into the procedings to "keep it down" but thats about it as far as actully getting caught...
Ohh we were goint at it and we were getting there when her mum pulled in the drive... luckly i gathered my clothes dotted from the living room to her bedroom rather quickly and got dressed. If we had been caught there would have been big trouble... there cathlic. (its rather uncomfortable being stopped so close before... :angel: )
Her dad said to me "what you do to my daughter I'll do to you"... i was warned about this prior (must be a popular one with him) so i thought i'd be stupid and say "Alright then" *clickclick* with my fingers in a trigger fashion and winked... didnt go down as well as i had hoped...
and we had gotten to us both being topless (she still had her bra on) and to the point where my jeans were being unbuttoned with her teeth. At that point the rest of the friends burts into the room ... "so what are you guys up to?!" then they all jumped on the bed.Now I'd like to take this time to say that this as not as kinky as it sounds...(Belive me)
they al just sat around for half an hour talking about anything but leaving us to it (with a few "pitching a tent" comments along the way :angel: )... then they finaly got kicked out... My gf said "ah well lets go back out there... i need to be social with my friends"
:flame:
Ahh well we still had later that night when they ha all gone to bed themselves... and a rough knock on the door about an hour into the procedings to "keep it down" but thats about it as far as actully getting caught...
Ohh we were goint at it and we were getting there when her mum pulled in the drive... luckly i gathered my clothes dotted from the living room to her bedroom rather quickly and got dressed. If we had been caught there would have been big trouble... there cathlic. (its rather uncomfortable being stopped so close before... :angel: )
Her dad said to me "what you do to my daughter I'll do to you"... i was warned about this prior (must be a popular one with him) so i thought i'd be stupid and say "Alright then" *clickclick* with my fingers in a trigger fashion and winked... didnt go down as well as i had hoped...
Javert
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My roomate's (call him Brandon) bed faces my other roomate's labtop (call him Brian). Anyway Brandon is sleeping with his gf, and his gf nudges him and shows Brandon that Brian was watching porn on his labtop, and had his hands in his pants. Luckily I was on the other side opposite Brian, so I don't see Brian's screen or what he's doing.
My previous roomate (call him Buster) was with his gf and they were making out. My other previous roomate (call in Bob) walks into them, and he sees Buster's chest and his gf's bare-white ass. They didn't care, and just laughed it off cause they're all cool with it. Bob ran out the room, shouting "I gave you 20 minutes for my shower, you guys need more time?!?!?!" Luckily, I was in the dorm's computer lab for a game night, so Bob came down and played CS w1.6 w/ me for his first time.
My previous roomate (call him Buster) was with his gf and they were making out. My other previous roomate (call in Bob) walks into them, and he sees Buster's chest and his gf's bare-white ass. They didn't care, and just laughed it off cause they're all cool with it. Bob ran out the room, shouting "I gave you 20 minutes for my shower, you guys need more time?!?!?!" Luckily, I was in the dorm's computer lab for a game night, so Bob came down and played CS w1.6 w/ me for his first time.
CREMATOR666
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You guys sure have many stuff involving you and your gf :naughty:
WaterMelon34
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I bet it's all fake. Just a bunch of Super Nerds living in a hole with a deck of cards and a computer. And internet.
oldagerocker
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Once i was on a school trip to France. And we were a small group of older years going to fill up numbers (it was a year 7 trip, we were year 9)... anyway the previous night we all were chatting and decided to pass a ruler around and measure ourselves. So we all did that and the next night it was truth or dare in the girls' rooms... and they asked, so out we came with all the measurements!!
What we didnt know what that a teacher (that later got sacked for peadophilic photo's on his laptop) was standing outside the door listening... and he bought one guy a 15" ruler the next day and utterly embarassed us all !!
(although he was a sick bastard, that trip he ran into guys' rooms at 7 in the morning to 'wake them up'... but he was just taking photo's of them semi-nude :|)
What we didnt know what that a teacher (that later got sacked for peadophilic photo's on his laptop) was standing outside the door listening... and he bought one guy a 15" ruler the next day and utterly embarassed us all !!
(although he was a sick bastard, that trip he ran into guys' rooms at 7 in the morning to 'wake them up'... but he was just taking photo's of them semi-nude :|)
JellyWorld
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None of you use protection?
JellyWorld
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Agreedburnzie said:
The Monkey
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Well I was in the park once with a girl. It was about 3 in the night, and suddenly an old lady walked past camly, pretending she didn't see. I didn't notice her until she had passed. I never met her again, thank god.
don_johnson
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burnzie said:Yeah he'd kill me... and sodamise me in some way... but he does like me, wich is good... just not corrupting his sweet and inocent *coughcough* daughter.
If that makes sence...
hahahhaa if he only knew, youd be in for an uncomfortable ride
burnzie
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Well he knows she went on the pill when we started going out... so if he still thinks that she's a virgin then well... what can i say...
I think that he knows... he just wont alow it under his roof... so when there home... I sleep at the other end of the house...
I think that he knows... he just wont alow it under his roof... so when there home... I sleep at the other end of the house...
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