Is Self-Harm Always Wrong?

Yeah, how does cutting help? You just get scars, and blood everywhere, yes it may help you from thinking of whatever, because of the pain, but come on, you dont need to cut yourself to do this. Thats what video games are for! To get your mind off whatever.

-NSF
 
I just want to ask, have you tried all other outlets?

For example if you are stressed, some really intensive exercise can take that away. Or you could put a punch bag in your garage and beat the hell out of it. Better than beating the hell out of yourself.

I'm no psychiatrist, but I would recommend finding a new outlet. Ask from a professional what alternatives you have.

As for whether it's right or wrong, I can't really say. I would say it's wrong for yourself. Maybe in the short term you feel satisfied, but in the longterm it's making you loathe yourself even more.
Find something to focus your mind on, take your aggression out on an inanimate object.
 
People I know would never guess it but I've been on the verge of stuff like this.


After my dad died I was extremely confused and depressed for at least a few weeks/months...




I know it sounds steriotypical and stupid but go out, and talk to people. New people, people you have known for your whole life. It doesn't matter. Just people. Doesn't have to be about any problems you have. Just stuff... anything!

Social interaction is what kept me going through the tough part of my life. I hope it helps you. :)

And yeah, buy a punch bag, that helps an all!
 
There are a few ways I could respond to this thread.

The first way I thought of would be to tell you to shape up and wake up, toughen up and jolt yourself out of denial. This would probably get me in trouble with the forum members that would want me to reply with all sweetness and light, as I considered responding with something as follows:

I could reply by kindly telling you that you shouldn't do all that kind of stuff and you should really .. well shit I dunno, you've been in counselling and all that. Consider this the nicey nicey reply, that essentially says what the first reply does but in a quiet nice and respectful way. I tried about four or five times to do it, got fed up and wrote this.

Above all, don't go killing yourself over whatever has you down; relationships, forum posts, whatever. Get out and do something constructive. Mow your lawn or something. Drive somewhere and see a movie. If you hate your life, change it. Do something different.

I have no experience in this stuff whatsoever. Admin delete my post if you so desire. But I felt I needed to reply, and I didn't know what with. I play bloody video games for ****s sake, I can't give psychological advice to anybody, let alone someone who needs it. I'll probably delete this post in 2 mins anyway.
 
SimonomiS said:
It's just not the same. I don't think its the aggression, or even the pain, I think its the more of a control aspect, its me causing this to myself, I'm in control, when in reality I'm not.
I mean I haven't started up again, but it feels like I might soon. I need something that completely gets me away from the world. I became a mini-alcoholic at one point :LOL:, drinking whatever alcohol I could get my hands on, but parents clicked on soon, started hiding any alcohol in the house or pouring it down the sink.
Can you legally get sleeping pills without prescription? Sleeping helps because ignorance really is bliss. :LOL:
Click to expand...



Join a martial art. A good one, not some stupid little dojo that charges an arm and a leg for shite all. Search out a good one. Helped me...
 
Self harm only has 2 uses:
-To make yourself harder ( i punch logs to make my fists harder, i have fights with friends to make my body tougher)
-To kill yourself

I just laugh at anyone who comes out with the "oh i self harm to express myself, i'm a child of the darkness, i enjoy pain" bullshit.
They end up cutting their arms, then they use up NHS money for a nurse to bandage it up.......they should either kill themselves or just not bother.
 
short recoil said:
I punch logs to make my fists harder, i have fights with friends to make my body tougher
Click to expand...

Well damn, I ranted on in some longwinded and confused post - here's all you really need to know/do. :LOL:
 
Some of you don't get it, but that's alright because you really need to experience it and go through something similar to understand what it's like.

I don't cut or self-harm, but I do have many anxiety disorders and I understand how SimonomiS feels being down on himself, his life, his purpose, and wanting a way out, a reprieve from the inner-pain he feels. Cutting is a way to relieve the pain. I understand this.

To be honest, I'm in a hurry right now, but SimonomiS man, you gotta be stronger than that. You've got to be a better person than that. I struggle every damn day to not hurt myself and to get out of the house, to try and be as normal as I can be. It takes every ounce of willpower to not cut or get high or drink, and at the end of the day, I thank myself.

Living in this world, at the end of it all, you really only have yourself. At least be your own best friend and help yourself through this. I know how much you deserve a break in life. Cutting is only going to get you further from that revalation.

Chin up, kiddo. Life really 'aint that bad. :)
 
Even if you are depressed why take it out on yourself, this just makes you even worse.
I know everyone has their different ways of dealing with stress or depression but self harming has got to be the worst.
(well it goes right against my views of life anyway)
When i get pissed off i go for a run, run with all the effort i can and overtake a land rover.....then i feel better orthrow some knives/ punch my hand through some 1/4" wood boards.
 
Cutting your body to bits is the wrong outlet for this... you need to find the cause, why you are like you are, and get over it. Drugs aren't the answer either (prozac etc) - they make it worse in most cases.
 
lePobz said:
Drugs aren't the answer either (prozac etc) - they make it worse in most cases.
Click to expand...
Pobz man, I respect your posts very much on the boards, but this isn't true at all. If it weren't for my medication I would be in a world of trouble.
Although, people who grow a dependancy on the meds, well that's another story...
 
ship said:
Pobz man, I respect your posts very much on the boards, but this isn't true at all. If it weren't for my medication I would be in a world of trouble.
Although, people who grow a dependancy on the meds, well that's another story...
Click to expand...

It helped for you?
I've read a lot of different views, I really don't think it had any effect on me at all, when I first went on it my mood improved a load simply because it was a kind of placebo, I was hoping some wonderdrug was going to make the world wonderful or something.

Prozac is really overhyped.
 
I never got depression (except when cause by genes/hormone problems). I mean I am alive! You probably have some sort of home, a computer, parent(s) and family. Come on if you have something you shouldnt be depressed. People in the world are in constant pain/fear and all you can think about is how your life sucks. Being shot at/starving/having no drinking water are all a lot worse then whatever most people in north america or europe have. I know people who complain and live like gods compared to many less fortune people. Stop thinking about yourself and do something constructive or as has been already stated find an outlet. You have the choice to be lazy some places you would die if you didnt give it your all to acquire food/shelter!
 
You need a change of perspective. I don't mean this in some cheap "pull yourself together" way, I mean really look at yourself, what you're doing, and why you're doing it. Lock yourself away with yourself for a while, sit in the bath, go for a walk on some green stuff, and think *coldly* and unemotionally (practically impossible, I know, but try) about your situation.

You say you half-hang youself but don't do it properly because you're "a wimp" - it's not because you're a wimp, it's because you want to live. Think about why you want to live, and the things you don't want to completely let go of.

I'm sure some people might be sneering at your post, thinking "pff, attention seeking" etc, and in a way they're right, but "attention seeking" isn't necessarily pathetic or feeble. Everyone does it - you break your leg + you scream in pain, you get sick + you expect sympathy. There's therefore no indignity in wanting attention for your emotional 'injuries'. However, you've said yourself that self-harm, etc attracts the wrong kind of attention, and just ends up with other people putting you in a situation that is even worse. If you're determined that you're not going to seek outside help (I don't know if this is a good or bad thing...), then you're the only one who can change things. Whoever said this was spot on:
Living in this world, at the end of it all, you really only have yourself. At least be your own best friend and help yourself through this.
Click to expand...

Master yourself, retain the pain, widen your scope, focus on the things that attach you to life.

Personally, I've never had experience of depression this bad, so I might not be the best person to lecture on it. But I've taken knocks and felt alone, like you, my life is pretty hollow, and I don't fear for my own longevity because accidental death would be a release in so many ways, but while I AM alive I figure I shouldn't let the bastards get me down. We're all pretty fickle creatures when all's said and done, and something as simple as, say, a change of scene, or a holiday, can make things seem fresh - a change of perspective like I say.

But you can't send signals for help AND terminally mistrust other people's input at the same time, it doesn't work. Examine yourself and find routes of fulfilment, or get other people to examine you.
 
Laivasse said:
[Everything he said]
Click to expand...
Great post.

SimonomiS said:
It helped for you?
I've read a lot of different views, I really don't think it had any effect on me at all, when I first went on it my mood improved a load simply because it was a kind of placebo, I was hoping some wonderdrug was going to make the world wonderful or something.

Prozac is really overhyped.
Click to expand...
I'm not on Prozac. I'm on something called Effexor, which is an anti-anxiety, anti-obsessive medication. It has helped me immensely. It's all about working with your doctor/psychiatrist to find the medication that's right for you.

Work at this. If you don't try to find the way out of this problem, you never will. And I know, deep down inside, you want to.
 
ship said:
Pobz man, I respect your posts very much on the boards, but this isn't true at all. If it weren't for my medication I would be in a world of trouble.
Although, people who grow a dependancy on the meds, well that's another story...
Click to expand...
I'm sure some do work at something, but in all cases i've heard of, people that take drugs to deal with depression are still suffering years later, if they havent already killed themselves by then.

Putting buckets under a leaky roof isn't a solution, it's a temporary fix to a problem that will not fix itself.

SimonomiS, Have you not tried hypnotherapy or other specialist treatment (brainscans etc) to pinpoint the cause of your depression?
 
You don't need medication, your brain is how it is from experience.
You do not need drugs they do not help they just "dull you down"
It's like saying "alcohol makes me happy and feel warm"

I do not take ANY medication, i don't ever go to the doctors anyway.
 
That's not true that you don't need medication. A lot of people make the mistake of saying, "Oh, come on! Be strong! You can will away the problem."

You can't.

These problems occur from a chemical imbalance in the brain. Go ahead and try to will away a chemical imbalance.
I'll go into details if you're curious to know, but in short for now, the problem mainly occurs because a chemical called serotonin does not remain in the synaptic gaps of our nervous system for a long enough period of time. Lack of/excess of serotonin affects our moods, sleep patterns, hunger....

Medication is only a part of the solution, but a vital one at that.
 
Lavaise couldnt have said it better. I can repeat what he said, but I couldnt add something so I'll leave it be.

short recoil on the other hand has said some stuff I dont agree with. To me, he seems to be in denial about the fact that he's basically in the same situation as Simonomis.
 
Shakermaker said:
short recoil on the other hand has said some stuff I dont agree with. To me, he seems to be in denial about the fact that he's basically in the same situation as Simonomis.
Click to expand...
You have wrongly presumed then.
Don't even attempt to classify what i'm like.
 
I find it striking you thought lesser of the guy who pretty much maybe saved you (for then at least) by bringing it to attention. Calling him a "so called friend" when he really was concerned is bad.

It doesn't make any sense to wound yourself or something retarded like that. And honestly that's just what it is- I'm being blunt for your own good. If you cut yourself open purposely you're an idiot.

Think about it though for a second. "You've just cut yourself" - Wow, did you just solve anything? No. Now you're cut and it'll probably scar (if not worse unless it's not severe) That was an idiotic plan of action.

"I told them exactly what they wanted to hear, and they let me home after a couple of weeks." <--- why don't you tell them the truth, so you can actually be helped next time you're offered it? Thigns like that are the reason you're in the situation you are now.

Hope it all works out for the best.
 
short recoil said:
You have wrongly presumed then.
Don't even attempt to classify what i'm like.
Click to expand...

Ok, I won't then. Can I classify you as unfriendly tho? You concluded your first reply in this thread with:
"[people that automutilate / are suicidal] end up cutting their arms, then they use up NHS money for a nurse to bandage it up.......they should either kill themselves or just not bother.they should either kill themselves or just not bother."

That's unfriendly in my book. Besides, if you "punch logs to make your fists harder, have fights with friends to make your body tougher" you're a class of your own anyway.
 
Life sucks, get a helmet.

My life is spiral of let downs getting shit on but I am okay with that. When you take life to seriously you're wasting your life. Don't think you have to make a difference when in fact 99% of the world's population won't. Humans are conceited. In a vast and endless world around us we are more worried about what people are wearing to the Oscars or what color Britney's hair is this week.

Humanity today is a joke. I can understand why you are depressed. I mean come on. Pop culture is enough to make you want to ram a blunt object through your skull. I look forward to the end of our world and I hope I get to see it. But the majority of humans will wonder “Why us?”, once again proclaiming their selfishness.

I am not saying what you are doing is wrong or right since in all honesty no one can determine that fact. To be serious, I don’t really care that you mutilate yourself. Why should I? It doesn’t matter to me.

I was depressed. Then I realized that my depression means absolutely nothing. It won’t make a single difference whether I am sad or happy through the rest of my days. Now why would I want to live the rest of my life with my chin to my chest and asking people to feel sorry for me? Why not embrace that fact that it’s all going to end no matter what and just try squeeze any morsel of enjoyment you can out of your life.

You are young and naïve and probably think you have the worst of it. As they always say, someone is always worse off than you.

That’s what I have to say.
 
chu said:
Life sucks, get a helmet.

My life is spiral of let downs getting shit on but I am okay with that. When you take life to seriously you're wasting your life. Don't think you have to make a difference when in fact 99% of the world's population won't. Humans are conceited. In a vast and endless world around us we are more worried about what people are wearing to the Oscars or what color Britney's hair is this week.

Humanity today is a joke. I can understand why you are depressed. I mean come on. Pop culture is enough to make you want to ram a blunt object through your skull. I look forward to the end of our world and I hope I get to see it. But the majority of humans will wonder “Why us?”, once again proclaiming their selfishness.

I am not saying what you are doing is wrong or right since in all honesty no one can determine that fact. To be serious, I don’t really care that you mutilate yourself. Why should I? It doesn’t matter to me.

I was depressed. Then I realized that my depression means absolutely nothing. It won’t make a single difference whether I am sad or happy through the rest of my days. Now why would I want to live the rest of my life with my chin to my chest and asking people to feel sorry for me? Why not embrace that fact that it’s all going to end no matter what and just try squeeze any morsel of enjoyment you can out of your life.

You are young and naïve and probably think you have the worst of it. As they always say, someone is always worse off than you.

That’s what I have to say.
Click to expand...

Nice post :thumbs: i understand exactly where a lot of that came from.
Rather than let myself get depressed about what other stupid humans do i put myself above them.
If you get depressed and miserable then you are failing.
If you take no shit and don't accept everything for how it is and fight you will be happy.
Life is no fun without a fight, a lot of teenagers are depressed today simply because they don't have to battle for survival.
You go to work for a few hours a day, you buy your food.....it's easy.
It is however increadibly dull.
I'm happy knowing i am getting stronger day by day. (mentally and physically)
 
A few months ago I would've been in the same situation as you. I lost all my self-credibility, self-esteem, i just didn't believe in myself anymore. Everyday i when i wasn't sad, i was either sleeping or eating. I thought, "Why is this life worth living, if things are the way they are? Why, if I'm under these circumstances?" Well, to put it simply, you always have to strive for your own well-being, not by cutting or injuring yourself, but by being stronger. Ask yourself what's better; surviving every bitter and emotionless day with new cuts and the same feeling of hopelessness, or living life, bettering yourself, being happy? You have to start by believing in yourself, because you are worth more than what you could ever imagine, trust me.

And even though some people will not be able to realize how much others are really worth in a lifetime, now that you've been through this, you will value each and every one, despite their defects and imperfections. Think about your parents, your friends. They are there, always there, to care for you, to help you when you need them.

Don't be so hard on yourself. In the future, you'll meet many people: the type that is really worth it and the type that isn't. You got rejected by some girl, big deal. This girl probably doesn't value who you are, she doesn't care for you. Look for other people. Hang around with those who you consider true friends, despite any circumstance (good or bad), friends who accept you for who you are, who make you laugh and stuff. Look for the girl who you really like for the valuable person she is. And when you believe in yourself, when you are smarter and more experienced, when you have aged and matured, you'll see how your world suddenly changes. :)
 
You need to see the movie Thirteen. It deals somewhat with cutting and the depressive childhood some may experience. I believe that cutting is very wrong, but serves as an outlet during hard times. You get the satisfaction you need in such a bad way. Good thing you stopped though.

I've never cut or anything. See no benefit.

I've rarely, if ever, experienced a depression period. But that doesn't mean I'm always happy.
 
ship said:
That's not true that you don't need medication. A lot of people make the mistake of saying, "Oh, come on! Be strong! You can will away the problem."

You can't.

These problems occur from a chemical imbalance in the brain. Go ahead and try to will away a chemical imbalance.
I'll go into details if you're curious to know, but in short for now, the problem mainly occurs because a chemical called serotonin does not remain in the synaptic gaps of our nervous system for a long enough period of time. Lack of/excess of serotonin affects our moods, sleep patterns, hunger....

Medication is only a part of the solution, but a vital one at that.
Click to expand...

So I guess everyone who lived before 50 years ago never had this chemical imbalance and its something that just appeared out of the blue? Who controls your brain? I certainly hope you do.

ADD-how come that never existed till about 10 years ago? I guess you just cant go without the meds huh?

Many people have stated my opinion...you dont have it bad at all if your able to type that ****ing post. Your parents care...your just naiive. You can ****ing deal with it, I went through that phase once and then i was like "wait...WHAT THE ****?! I GOT ONE ****ING LIFE...WHY THE **** DO I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT STUPID SHIT...HELL WHY DO I CARE ABOUT EVEN THE BIG SHIT...DEAL...HAVE FUN CAUSE I AINT GONNA BE HERE LONG". I prolly phrased that terribly but I just realized to deal with it and just live life to its fullest instead of moaning about it.
 
If you have a strong enough will to change something you can, even if it seems like your body is losing the fight.
I know this from personal experience.

I now exercise great control over my body functions from practice after i learnt how much self control can mean.
I can lower my heart rate to 30bpm for around 10mins.
I can control bloodflow around my body (there was some "magician" who did this as a trick on stage)
I can "turn off" my body.......call it meditating or whatever you like.
I can hold my breath for just under 3mins.

Basically you do not need medicine to combat depression, attitude is everything.
If you blame it on an imbalance you will never get anywhere, even if it is an imbalance you can fight it.
It's like fat people "oh i'm fat because of my glands" ......no if you got off your tub ass and did some squat thrusts you'd up your metabolic rate and then eat healthily.
If you blame something else you will never win.
 
When I feel depressed, I kill people. In games. Seriously, gaming is one of my biggest highs, without chemical involvement or anything so there's no chance its going to twist my mood to something even worse, and only tends to elevate it.

There are so many things you can do when feeling depressed, and I don't think bodily harm to yourself or others is really an appropiate path. Just remember, you need to live with the scars of what you do to yourself for the rest of your life, both mentally and physically.
 
I know that you don't want to die, thats why you couldn't kill yourself, you need to know why though, this is something you have to find out yourself, you need a reason to 'live' or feel alive.

There are somethings you should do,

Tell yourself, that you need to change and be better, always tell yourself this, it makes you stronger.

Do something, start doing martial arts, getting fit, airsoft, paintball, art, anything, you just need something that you love doing and can concentrate on.

When I felt that way, I had a moment of clarity, I decided that I had enough of being bullied at school, being humilitated and abused, I also realised that nobody was going to help, "tell the teacher" tell a parent/friend etc, its all bullshit, you have to change yourself.

A couple of days after I started my long journey of getting fit, I was running down a street, when I was confronted by a chav...

Chav: "you got any money i can have?"

Me: "**** off"

Chav: "This my ****ing area man, I take what I want, I want some money"

This is when I snapped, I was so pissed off, I beat him, I punched him till he ran away, I had to gain some respect, this was how I stopped getting bullied

Don't let yourself question your own existence, find a purpose, if you can't, make one up, don't get bored of life, theres to much to do.
 
joule said:
You need to see the movie Thirteen. It deals somewhat with cutting and the depressive childhood some may experience. I believe that cutting is very wrong, but serves as an outlet during hard times. You get the satisfaction you need in such a bad way. Good thing you stopped though.
Click to expand...
Still pushing that movie eh? hehe

My advice to the thread maker, isn't that sympathetic. Realise you got this one life, and you might as well enjoy it, one opportunity and we are frigging lucky to get a life, USE IT. Secondly, if this depression started from that girl, you need to realise that girls don't mean everything. Your young there will be plenty of relationship opportunities in your life, i promise you that, theres no need to get down over some girl that doesn't feel the same way about you. It's her loss if you were willing to give so much. **** her tbh, she lost out. It seems you think over things too much, and put anxieties into your ahead and lose your confidence and esteem by doing that, meaning you can't build it back up, my sister has the same condition, i have to live with it everyday. Just keep your mind active by meeting new people, doing things, and that will build yourself back up. First thing you gotta change is your mentality. You are lazy you say? But you go out your way to hurt yourself, try kill yourself etc...put that energy into something better and thats your starting platform.

You can be advised from us, or a parent, or a councellor, but the fact is you need to pull your own weight in this as well. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE? Or do you like to feel depressed, backed into corners having to hurt yourself? If you feel you'd rather go get some of that happiness you need to show it, and do something which people are telling you. Laziness...no excuse.
 
They've clipped my wings again
tore them apart and then
left me
No use to fly away to
my yesterday
of freedom
My eyes died back that day
seeing the hurt I may have done
Beat me instead of them
pain is my only zen
of fun

I'll go where secrets are sold
where roses unfold
I'll sleep as time goes by

So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song
blood on my hand to stay strong
The flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong
there is no right to heal the wrong
soup's on hot feelin' like I do or die
I can't throw up I don't think I even want to try

You still can't make me cry
you've pinned this butterfly
down
My fire's burning out
kill my flame without
a frown
And starving hurts the soul
when you're hungry for
some love
So if I close my eyes
I can really fly
above

And i'll go where secrets are sold
where roses unfold
I'll sleep as time goes by

So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song
blood on my hand to stay strong ( to stay strong)
the flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong
there is no right to heal the wrong
soup's on hot feelin' like I do or die
I can't throw up don't think I even want to
tryyy- tryyyyyyyyyy

So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song
blood on my hand to stay strong ( to stay strong)
the flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong
there is no right to heal the wrong
soup's on hot feelin' like I do or die
I can't throw up don't think I even want to try

Katy Rose - Lemon
Click to expand...
Reminds me a bit of depression and cutting.
 
How come were posting at 3.25AM?

Because we care.
 
Shodan said:
How come were posting at 3.25AM?

Because we care.
Click to expand...
Tis true Shodan, i'm gonna be so tired tomorrow, gotta be up in like 4 hours. Your the sympathetic Chav beater :)
 
I'm sorry, I don't mean this to sound negative, but really think about what your doing. There's parents out there who wouldn't give a **** if you were drinking alcohol. Apparently, your parents care about you. That's check one against you. Your sitting at a computer, something that statistically 84% of the world NEVER gets a chance to do. That's check two against you. You said you have friends. Check three against you. Sadly, I'm sorry but I feel no pity for you at all. To me, it sounds like your an incredibly selfish person who feels like life or god owes you something. This is life, and there are people dealing with things you can't even imagine. Sorry but just by you making a post on a forum alone proves to me that your way better off than alot of people in this world. You have a place to live, a family that cares, friends who like you, and all you can do is sit there and debate cutting. Think about your life, really.
 
simonomis, I completely understand how you feel. I have chronic depression that I inherited from my mom, so I know exactly what it feels like - even if nothing's wrong, life is bleak and pointless.

but cutting, even if it helps, is not the way to beat it. it seems tough but the mental mindset is the whole thing. you have to overcome it by yourself - cutting is just like drugs to help, a simple distraction. it takes you away temporarily but it will come back and it comes back worse.

don't do it.

and if you ever try to commit suicide again ill come beat the hell out of you, I like you mate.
 
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