Warning signs your child is a goth, brought to you by the overreacting church

[Steve]

If I want to wear black, listen to marilyn manson and pierce my genitals then that's my decision, right?

Sure, just don't complain when it comes out all three holes.

 

[lePobz]

Sure, just don't complain when it comes out all three holes.

Lmfao... i've always wanted to pee into two urinals at the same time. Damn, that would own.

/me goes to get his willy punctured.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Lmfao... i've always wanted to pee into two urinals at the same time. Damn, that would own.

Until you remember the hiddeous gaping hole.

 

[Ames]

Lmfao... i've always wanted to pee into two urinals at the same time. Damn, that would own.

You would be outcasted from society because of your superpower.

 

[lePobz]

You would be outcasted from society because of your superpower.

...and i'd be outcast from pubs/clubs because of accidentally pissing on twice as many people whilst blind drunk... but still, it'd be fun.

 

[Ames]

Until you remember the hiddeous gaping hole.

You could make it talk. Sort of like a finger puppet, only creepier.

 

[f|uke]

damnit, my post went to wast. Imma start a new thread later.

 

[Steve]

You could make it talk. Sort of like a finger puppet, only creepier.

And you couldn't put on any kid's shows with it. *shudder*

 

[Thread]

the church is right yet again... and there i was stupidly thinking that goths are cool....

they are.

whats more evil? a community in which most of the people waste all of their lives worshipping god (even though its not like they killed someone or anything, so why spend all your life doing this? whats so great about this god?) and trying to force thier own veiws and ways of life on other people (weaker people, like children who dont know any better and cant choose things for themselves) these people also disagree with everyones elses lifestyles and discriminate against other kinds people and make outragious claims.

then theres the goths, people who choose not to live by society's norms and enjoy themselves through sociable events with each other and dont bother anyone else. purest of evil...

you have totally missed the point.

 

[Sui]

Wow... i do half the stuff on that list... and Count Chocula is my favorite cereal.

Hmmm... since when was Buddhism a cult activity? >.<

 

[Burn]

-Eats excessively or too little
-Expresses an interest in sex.

Ok so Fat people or thin people (Basicly.. everyone) and everyone whos ever had sex is a goth? (Including parents, Im pretty damn sure they had sex) Smart.

Funny stuff.

 

[Alec_85]

The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence.

I'd prefer the darkness than being part of some stupid retards who call themselves servants of God. That's just as dangerous imho. Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.
(who said that anyway?)

(Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

Oh man I'm not even gonna comment on that :E

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

Ooh the whole world are Goths
And I seriously need to stop watching Buffy & Angel

-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

First thing I can almost see why they do not approve of. I can't say I blame them on this one.
Doesn't mean they are Goths or do not approve of Christianity... Gah.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.

Yeah so I'm a Goth just beacuse I usually stay up late when I do not have to get up in the morning... Good thinking there.

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

Yeah! Let's blame genetics of teenagers on Goths. Yeah!

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.

Hmm in this day and age, which kid DOESN'T do these things at certain ages?

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

Go back to the Dark Ages you stupid ****'s

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

The cultist phenomenon mentioned here is satanism afaik. It's not big enough to be a dangerous religion... Never heard of Paganism & wicca though ;(

-Claims to be a goth.

Well can't really argue with that one :E

My responses are not directed to TDE personally. He just posted it here as you know I think I'll go drink some blood now. Cya laterz

 

[kupocake]

Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.
(who said that anyway?)

John Milton - Paradise Lost. I believe it is quoted at the end of Deus Ex of all things...

 

[The Dark Elf]

I'd prefer the darkness than being part of some stupid retards who call themselves servants of God. That's just as dangerous imho. Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.
(who said that anyway?)

Oh man I'm not even gonna comment on that :E

Ooh the whole world are Goths
And I seriously need to stop watching Buffy & Angel


First thing I can almost see why they do not approve of. I can't say I blame them on this one.
Doesn't mean they are Goths or do not approve of Christianity... Gah.

Yeah so I'm a Goth just beacuse I usually stay up late when I do not have to get up in the morning... Good thinking there.

Yeah! Let's blame genetics of teenagers on Goths. Yeah!

Hmm in this day and age, which kid DOESN'T do these things at certain ages?

Go back to the Dark Ages you stupid ****'s

The cultist phenomenon mentioned here is satanism afaik. It's not big enough to be a dangerous religion... Never heard of Paganism & wicca though ;(

Well can't really argue with that one :E

My responses are not directed to TDE personally. He just posted it here as you know I think I'll go drink some blood now. Cya laterz

I posted it for a chuckle and to see what the religious nuts had to say for themselves hehe, and I'll laugh at anyone who believes I go along with it, obviously they don't know me too well if they were to think that

 

[SpuD]

(Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

He only did that to see how many people would overreact like this.

 

[bliink]

He only did that to see how many people would overreact like this.

yeah.. watching him in interviews, he's a pretty normal guy lol.

 

[The Dark Elf]

He only did that to see how many people would overreact like this.

Ok can people stop thinking I wrote this and start reading it properly? kthx.

 

[bliink]

Ok can people stop thinking I wrote this and start reading it properly? kthx.

omg!!11one

yeah, but people still can't help but comment on the stuff thats said, even if it is sarcastic

 

[The Dark Elf]

omg!!11one

yeah, but people still can't help but comment on the stuff thats said, even if it is sarcastic

I didn't mean your reply I meant in general. I just know some newb will come along thinking he knows it all and start preaching his teenage gothic ways after not reading the thread properly, he's seen Coronation Street and thinking thats how its done and just make a prat of himself thinking he's a goth just cause he died his hair black and has a Manson poster on his wall. I mean jeez, I was "goth" back when it was ok to call yourself that, now its just too commercialised and the real goth's wont call themselves that anymore, only the teenies who are rebelling against their parents sending them to bed before ten call themselves goth these days.

mmm haven't had a good rant in a while, I've missed it

 

[Sulkdodds]

It's so hilarious it must be a joke...mustn't it?
Seriously, I don't think even the most obscenely harcore stern-justice fire-and-brimstone utter bastard Christians would publish this, simply because some of the stuff (count chocula indeed) is ridiculous.


If it is real...well... ;(

wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Drinks blood. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.

You don't say?

Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

Dangerous cult religions! Tom Cruise is an advocate of Scientology and therefore is a servant of satan!

 

[Vegeta897]

Funniest thing I've ever read.

Even if that isn't real, the whole uberchristain community is waayyy too obsessed with their own opinions.

 

[Bad^Hat]

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

"Billy?"
"Don't come in here, Dad!"
"What were you doing in here?"
"Nothing, Dad."
"Were you... were you trying to commit suicide?"
"No!"
"You're a ****ing goth, aren't you?"
"No, Dad, never!"
"Billy... get out of my house."

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

And/or? :|

 

[bliink]

And/or? :|

Yes, a homosexual bisexual. The only have sex with opposite members of the same different sexes

 

[The Dark Elf]

Yes, a homosexual bisexual. The only have sex with opposite members of the same different sexes

................. *brain explodes*

 

[Bad^Hat]

*universe implodes*

 

[Dalamari]

I got a easy way to spot a goth/emo, if they use the word anguish and listen to Slipknot because of their intelligent lyrics, they need to be shot.

 

[Adrien C]

Thus the reason I've quit Christianity.

 

[SpuD]

yeah.. watching him in interviews, he's a pretty normal guy lol.

Not only that, but he is really intelligent, he sees through people easily. He seems very cultured and intellectual

 

[Dan]

Lets see:

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. (check)

-Drinks alcohol. (check)

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. (do Coco-Puffs count? If so check)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (check)

-Expresses an interest in sex. (check)

Looks like it's too late for me to be saved. Maybe some of you can learn from the folly that is Count Chocula cereal.

Seriously, this will define any normal individual over the age of 12. pretty much. Who doesn't like tv, sex, rock, alcohol, and Satanic cereals.

 

[SpuD]

Lets see:

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. (check)

-Drinks alcohol. (check)

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. (do Coco-Puffs count? If so check)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (check)

-Expresses an interest in sex. (check)

Looks like it's too late for me to be saved. Maybe some of you can learn from the folly that is Count Chocula cereal.

Seriously, this will define any normal individual over the age of 12. pretty much. Who doesn't like tv, sex, rock, alcohol, and Satanic cereals.

Satanic cereals are my favorite.

 

[Burn]

-Frequently wears black clothing. (Its all I wear..)
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish. (Black nail polish)
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. (Dont have any tattoos, but I want one)
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Rock?)
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports. (Yay! Praying and the bible..)
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. (Vampires are awesome)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Blood tastes like copper!)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.

Well those apply to me. Then again.. they apply to alot of people.

I remember a link someone posted (Or maybe it was on a different forum) with "How to tell your child is a hacker) it was pretty much like this, very funny.

edit: Great, I just read bliinks post, now my head hurts >_>

 

[qckbeam]

That was pretty funny actually, I got a kick out of it.

To be quite honest, the most down to earth, kind and pleasent people I've ever known have been goths or semi-gothic. Goths have been judged, they've been rejected, and they know how much that sucks, so they tend not to reject and judge others. Too bad there aren't more people like that around.

As for Manson, I don't think most people "get" him at all (I know my family never has). In reality he seems to be a down to earth, intelligent man who's just trying to make a point. I personally like his music.

 

[Hercules331]

^^^^ Id rather be a cryin little pussy than a faggy goth kid. (Yes I know I already said it but its da truff)

 

[qckbeam]

^^^^ Id rather be a cryin little pussy than a faggy goth kid. (Yes I know I already said it but its da truff)

Good for you?

 

[Stigmata]

Warning signs your Child is a Christian:

-Frequently wears 'pure' white clothing
-Shows an interest in stigmatta

Kickass, I get to be popular!

---

I seriously hope that first list was a joke. If not, I can only hope that one day religion is abolished.

[invisible edit]

^^^^ Id rather be a cryin little pussy than a faggy goth kid. (Yes I know I already said it but its da truff)

Am I the only one experiencing a complete lack of logic? Honestly, I don't really know what to make of that.

 

[Hercules331]

^^ Quoting one of the greatest housings ever from a tv show. Dont worry bout it.

 

[Bad^Hat]

He's taking the piss

 

[DEATH eVADER]

I complain of Boredom, but thats because I don't like to go boozing everynight.

But it does make me think, if its true that the church does over exagerate. I would just love to go and talk intelligently in front of one of those Christian Fanatics and see if there heads explode.

 

[The Dark Elf]

I complain of Boredom, but thats because I don't like to go boozing everynight.

But it does make me think, if its true that the church does over exagerate. I would just love to go and talk intelligently in front of one of those Christian Fanatics and see if there heads explode.

they'd smite you down with verses from the bible, and if that didn't work they'd just hit you with it instead.

 

[StardogChampion]

-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

Actually, if they're into any of these, then they generally aren't goths, they just think they are. But don't get me started on dumbass wannabe goths...