Warning signs your child is a goth, brought to you by the overreacting church

[Ennui]

my friend found this somewhere and sent it to me a few months ago, I was gonna post it but I forgot

 

[FortisVir]

Yes, a homosexual bisexual. The only have sex with opposite members of the same different sexes

I don't know why but that comment had me laughing for about 5 minutes straight.

And more for the "Signs your child might be a Christian"

-Suppresses interest in sex. (Come on you know every guy has it, homosexual bisexual or otherwise)
-Proclaims belief in the Bible as the "Gospel Truth".
-Disklikes scientific rationale.
-Believes dinosaurs were created by Satan to tempt man.
-Comments on every natural disaster and/or burnt Thanksgiving turkey as foreshadowing the second coming of Jesus Christ.
-Wears a cross necklace.
-Shows respect for old people.
-Listens to music with inspiring lyrics disguised in pseudo punk rock.
-Publicly, displays acceptance of other major world religions, but privately prays for God to smite them all.
-Claims that God talks to them and/or they talk to God. Also, displays adimiration for Pat Robertson. Note to concerned parents: This may also be a sign of mental instability.
-In public ceremonies, raises hands and closes eyes in a hilarious fashion while expressing belief in Jesus Christ as the saviour.
-Tells other students they are sinners. Also, be prepared for calls from concerned Pagan parents, as your Christian child may force others to listen to the Bible.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Damnit, apparently I'm a Christian lol.

/me claps.

 

[baron insig]

meh i got Christened by like hell im going to church and praising some basterd who force fed me religion and crap

 

[Opium]

-Frequently wears black clothing.

Would a priest be a goth then? :smoking:

 

[The Dark Elf]

Would a priest be a goth then? :smoking:

I would pay you money to go and say that in a busy church one sunday morning

 

[Burn]

Would a priest be a goth then? :smoking:

Opium just owned a whole religion. My word.

 

[Raziaar]

While I doubt thats real to such a degree, if it was... its over-reactive bullshit. Simply classifying everybody as being goth. I don't know much about the catholic faith, but i'm sure there's just as many who don't believe such scare tactics as there are who do. Take me for example. I'm incredibly conservative about many things, my religion included, yet I don't have a disdain for Goths.

 

[Deacon_]

Man, i hate goths, wiccans, and every type of random would-be antisocial 14-19 year old girl american trend.

Woot.

 

[The Dark Elf]

Man, i hate goths, wiccans, and every type of random would-be antisocial 14-19 year old girl american trend.

Woot.

So much hate, I pity you

 

[Deacon_]

Not hate..
Well, i mean, i'm not saying ALL goths or wiccans or whatever are like that, some i know really are active and believe in their lifestyle, and i respect that. I respect all religions and lifestyles that don't push their beliefs on to others.
But then there's all these linkin park following teenagers, right?
Hate.

 

[The Dark Elf]

Not hate..
Well, i mean, i'm not saying ALL goths or wiccans or whatever are like that, some i know really are active and believe in their lifestyle, and i respect that. I respect all religions and lifestyles that don't push their beliefs on to others.
But then there's all these linkin park following teenagers, right?
Hate.

There's always some bad eggs that spoil it for the others, unfortunately its often the most visible of them that have the most influence on things like the media, and parents, parents are worse, they jump in thinking they know it all without thinking first.

 

[B.Calhoun]

thats pretty funny.

But seriously, goths are nasty.

 

[Druckles]

I just hate everyone, goths, chavs, nerds or otherwise . But you can't say you blame me.
Some people say Christians force-feed their religion, but it isn't actually so. There are only a couple of radicals who tend to do that, and they're the only ones. People then tend to stereo-type all christians as that, and those are the ones that give christians a bad name. Take Holy Trinity Brompton (in london), it's fairly well known, big church, but it doesn't force-feed anyone, it uses friendship and crap like that and that's the reason people go to their alpha courses and stuff. This thing here was not created by any church and that's for definite. Hell, I bet every vicar/priest/leader masturbates

Just coz I stuck up for the church doesn't mean I'm a christian. Im agnostic (I think)

 

[Deacon_]

Hmm, yes, they often tend to keep their backs away from the crowd as they do their sermon.. And they ARE wearing strangely large clothes..
Who knows what's going on under those garments..

 

[Druckles]

Lol, I didn't say during the service did I? Im sure they're more restrained than that, besides, not all leaders wear garments

 

[Steve]

Lol, I didn't say during the service did I? Im sure they're more restrained than that, besides, not all leaders wear garments

No, they all wear garments, dude. Never heard of a naked priest/preacher/parson/whatever. They don't all wear habits and vestments...

Well...nah...I guess there is a nudist church somewhere out there.

 

[satch919]

Some of that is just what regular teens do anyways.

I used to dress all in black when I was in high school. Although, I never had black lipstick, fingernails, or piercings. I listened to Cradle of Filth, White Zombie, Rammstein, MM, Fear Factory, Pantera, etc. It was a really stupid thing to do on my part. I finally grew out of it though. I dress normal and listen to techno, trance, chillout and ambient now. It was quite a change but Im happy that I did it. :thumbs:

 

[UltraProAnti]

Sounds like a total pisstake to me (I didn't read the whole thread so someone else may have arrived at this conclusion before me). Reminiscent of those fake petition sites claiming that The Two Towers was insensitive after 9/11 or that The Return of the King was offensive to Elvis fans.

 

[thorvale the red]

-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates.

Does that mean nearly every teenager on the planet is gothic?

 

[short recoil]

Why don't i make a "warning signs if your child is turning to the ignorant path of religion" document.

I can see sence in stopping your child self harming or drinking blood but 99% of that is a load of goats piss, that has got to be just a big piss take........or its from one of those wierd red neck obsessive churches.

 

[diluted]

This thing is too stupid to be real, seems like someone made it up just to bash bible-thumpers (not that I have a problem with that). It's funny because that list pretty much describes your average teenager.

 

[<RJMC>]

-Frequently wears black clothing.

black clothing is cool,but all black is not too cool

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

wtf?? whats so bad about wear a t.shirt os something you like?

-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.

that look a bit gay but if is done in a cool way it looks very cool

-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.

many of that jewelry looks very cool,I remenber I hav one neckalce whit a silver snake that looked uber cool,but I lost it

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

they are cool,but I am not to interesed on one

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

lol this is trully laugable,I think marilyn manson make that look just to be cool and I heard he pray a lot like before every concert

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

omg I associate whit people that like what I like,omg thats so bad

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

thats one of the bad things about the religions that are like slavery cuz we hav to read the bible and pray everytime

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

that things are cool what so bad about interest on them?

-Takes drugs.

ok this one is a bit bad

-Drinks alcohol.

I think are the parents and adults who incite the youngs to drink alcohol,anyway is use whit moderationg is not bad,but I dont love beer

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

that can be relationed whit personal problems and not "the devil"

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

as the opinion before say,this is relationed whit personal problems and sure people do that to punish they self for not tbe perfect or just hate they selfs,again is not "the devil"

-Complains of boredom.

you can be bored of anything

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

very tired or insomnia?

-Is excessively awake during the night.

maybe for a party?

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

everyone hav it privacy

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

sometimes is good to be alone cuz you feel like relaxed and stuff like that,but in exces is not good

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

lol wtf?? what about is the kid is very tired and want a time quiet?

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

err....duh every young one do that,me and mt friends do that a lot

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

cuz they hav theyr own opinion

-Misbehaves at school.

what the heck is "misbehves"

-Misbehaves at home.

ditto

-Eats excessively or too little

much hungry or a diet?

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.

hahahaha the count chocula cereal is real?

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

this is the first thing that hav sense

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

another proof that religions are like a slavery,but of course are things that very young kids should not wacht

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

I think is better to play violent videogames that be violent in real life

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

everybody whit internet do that

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

shake heads listening music is the same as dancing IMO

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

errr....everybody do that

-Expresses an interest in sex.

lol every living being do that!!!

-Masturbates.

again,everybody do that

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

thats opinion of the person not something from "the devil"

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

cuz is interesed on the cultures of the world?this is the biggest proof that religion are like slavery

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

cuz he like it

-Claims to be a goth.

cuz he is?

thats my opinion of all that stuffs

I am not against religions bu as you see some things of the religion are like a slavery and I dont like them,also isnt supposed that the lord is all mercifull even whit the siners?

 

[Steve]

isnt supposed that the lord is all mercifull even whit the siners?

Yeah...isn't it funny how often people forget that judgement is not theirs to pass?

 

[Raziaar]

I think its a made up thing, because I highly doubt the catholic church believes hindu and buddhists are 'dangerous'. Widely spread that they're quite peaceful, both in their actions and their beliefs.

 

[Ikerous]

I think its a made up thing, because I highly doubt the catholic church believes hindu and buddhists are 'dangerous'. Widely spread that they're quite peaceful, both in their actions and their beliefs.

In church on sunday my pastor preached on the danger of mixing religions. :dozey:
In which i think he mentioned both of those.

 

[Steve]

In church on sunday my pastor preached on the danger of mixing religions. :dozey:

Did he make an analogy to mixing drugs and alcohol? Too much of a good thing?

 

[Ikerous]

Did he make an analogy to mixing drugs and alcohol? Too much of a good thing?

No, he used the analagy that if that happens, we might end up hiring him a prostitute... ::Serious::

 

[Raziaar]

In church on sunday my pastor preached on the danger of mixing religions. :dozey:
In which i think he mentioned both of those.

Mixing religions? lol. people do that?

I was talking about the religion itself. I respect most anyone who follows a religion. Unless its something harmful to themselves, or to others. I think its great that people can find god.

 

[Ikerous]

Mixing religions? lol. people do that?

Yea, but if you're christian and you believe what buddah said, you're goin to hell.
Wouldnt wanna go and do that now woulda ya

 

[venturon]

The whole list is rediculous, but more so is the title of this thread. To say the church (and, to point the finger at some replies, religion) as a whole is responsible for putting forward this list is ludicrous. It was most likely conceived by a small church committee or individual who is either ignorant or intolerant of others' personal choices.

But lol at Count Chocula.

 

[Bullseye]

srry

WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!11
awesome thread.

how gotic would i have to be then??? OMG.. put me in a health care center..

err.. no..
nothing wrong with gothic.. and go rock and metal music!!!!

 

[Bad^Hat]

hahahaha the count chocula cereal is real?

Haha, that's what I thought. All I remember is seeing it in Simpsons -

"Excuse me, where are the Burns-O's?"

 

[Sharrd]

I can't stop laughing at it. The sad thing is its probably something that the church really put out lol.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

Oh come on people. You really think priests would throw in all this stuff? And the whole thing is made in a fashion that makes it seem like a joke to me.

Edit: Whoops, forgot. HAHAHAHAHA! I particulary liked FortisVir's "signs your child might be Christian". Good job, posters.

 

[Missingno.]

your child may be a goth if...

TIMES UP! NO MORE LINKAGE! The image is disgusting, and i don't want to risk a ban. PM me if you want it

 

[Raziaar]

your child may be a goth if...

*snippage*

Oh come on, that's not appropiate even with a warning :|

I mean, its not that bad, but still.

 

[burnzie]

What is it?

 

[KoreBolteR]

i click the link and it asks me to sign up, and i cba. describe the pic

 

[Adrien C]

Its a huge...

 

[burnzie]

What!!!