What if Jesus was to come back?

[-Psy-]

What if by some reason, Jesus was to come back?

First of all, how would we know? And second of all, how would we all treat him in modern day society?

I'm not saying that Jesus did exist but I'm not saying he didn't.

But this questions is asked as if he did actually exist.

 

[Solaris]

I imagine it wouldn't be hard for him to become known world wide.
He'd be on telly pretty quickly.

 

[RakuraiTenjin]

lol what if he came back and he was like "lol sorry black people cant get in to heaven" like would people become racist or would they be like "WTF JESUS? **** YOU"

I mean cause its like it'd be god's word but it goes against what most people think.

 

[Baserape>]

Is it a bird? is it a plane?

NO!

It's ****ing Jesus walking on water!

 

[Terminator]

He did come back but he ended up in a mental institute.

 

[The Brick]

Can't resist: http://ninjapirate.com/returnofjesus.html

 

[burnzie]

Jesus says: "Sorry kids, no wiggars"

 

[PvtRyan]

There's already an abundance of nuts claiming to be the returned Messiah, just like Jesus was one of the fruitcakes that claimed to be a Messiah a long time ago.

Well, except that people took it seriously...

BTW, talking about Jebus, does anyone know which webcomic this is from?

Got some comics saved, but forgot where they're from =(

 

[rambler]

i think in all likelyhood he'd probably killed again, likely by someone religious claiming he was a flase messiah before shooting him dead and running off into the crowd.

don't try it jesus, you couldn't cut it in the mordern world, for one thing his dress would get lifted up a la marylin munroe.

 

[burnzie]

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

 

[Mr-Fusion]

 

[ComradeBadger]

There's already an abundance of nuts claiming to be the returned Messiah, just like Jesus was one of the fruitcakes that claimed to be a Messiah a long time ago.

Well, except that people took it seriously...

BTW, talking about Jebus, does anyone know which webcomic this is from?

Got some comics saved, but forgot where they're from =(

http://smbc-comics.com/

 

[burnzie]

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

http://smbc-comics.com/

 

[Tr0n]

I'd ask him if he'd like to smoke a little doobie.

 

[CptStern]

well he'd have to find a job ..but being the son of god might prove problematic:

but personally I think he'd just screw with us mortals

 

[-Psy-]

Is it me, or does that Jesus have an uncanny resemblance to Justin Lee Collins?

 

[Mr-Fusion]

That is awesome!

 

[KagePrototype]

Is it me, or does that Jesus have an uncanny resemblance to Justin Lee Collins?

Isn't it really the other around?

Jesus: I have returned in all my splendor! Bow down and kiss my feet!

The Masses: Hallelujah! All praise...holy shit, you look just like Justin lee Collins! LOL!

Justin Lee Collins: Poser! Steal my look will ya?

Jesus: ...

 

[Hectic Glenn]

A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a ****ing cross? Maybe thats why he hasn't come back yet. 'I'm not going back dad, they totally missed the point, maybe when they start wearing fishes or something i will, but forget it now'. It would be like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

 

[-Psy-]

^ Wow. I never thought of it that way tbh.

 

[<RJMC>]

Isn't it really the other around?

Jesus: I have returned in all my splendor! Bow down and kiss my feet!

The Masses: Hallelujah! All praise...holy shit, you look just like Justin lee Collins! LOL!

Justin Lee Collins: Poser! Steal my look will ya?

Jesus: ...

*justin lee collins dies in a misterious way*

the masses: omfg justin lee colins is dead!what happened jesus?

jesus:he is in a better place now

 

[Dog--]

This thread makes me laugh...

I'm not religious, it's just the things you are saying/the comics. I'm NOT religious. NOT.

 

[-Psy-]

*justin lee collins dies in a misterious way*

the masses: omfg justin lee colins is dead!what happened jesus?

jesus:he is in a better place now

And then Jesus runs off with Alan Carr to have butt sex.

Do you think Jesus would have a higher status then the Queen?

 

[Tr0n]

We're all going to hell.

 

[Gunner]

If you think Jesus was a white man with blonde hair you're an idiot. Don't have you have any idea where he was born?

 

[-Psy-]

Bethlehem.

I've seen that school play enough thanks.

 

[Slacker]

I'm a fan of Bill Hick's "we're too stupid for Jesus to want to come back" theory. Even though it probably is bullshit, it's funny to listen to ^_^.

 

[CptStern]

If you think Jesus was a white man with blonde hair you're an idiot. Don't have you have any idea where he was born?

the myth

what jesus probably looked like

http://archives.cnn.com/2002/TECH/science/12/25/face.jesus/index.html

 

[hungryduck]

if jesus came back I'd cook him some bacon.

 

[Tr0n]

Stern beat me to it. Bah.

I couldn't find that pic anywhere. D:

 

[Slacker]

A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a ****ing cross? Maybe thats why he hasn't come back yet. 'I'm not going back dad, they totally missed the point, maybe when they start wearing fishes or something i will, but forget it now'. It would be like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

Speeaaaaking of Bill Hicks...

 

[CptStern]

hehe I had a hard time too. typing in "real jesus" worked but the images didnt ..I eventually found the original cnn document that had the image

 

[PvtRyan]

HE WAS BLACK? BUT I THOUGHT GOD HATED BLACKS?

(or was that gays? I always get those two mixed up)

*/me renounces his faith*

 

[CptStern]

well he may have been dark skinned ..he wasnt Black Jesus

or the modern day equivilent:

Jesus of da hood

 

[Raziaar]

Hilarious topic.

"Aim for the small children."

 

[rambler]

dude, wasn't jesus actually an indian lesbian?

hey-ZUSSSS!!!

 

[DEATH eVADER]

I'm not saying that Jesus did exist but I'm not saying he didn't.

Schrödinger's Jebus :thumbs:

 

[madog]

I'd tell him to make my post count 1k again. no 1 million.

 

[PvtRyan]

I'd tell him to make my post count 1k again. no 1 million.

Postcount resets at a certain point I think.

Oh yeah, Jesus is God and God can do anything. But can he code PHP? Hah, thought so.

 

[DeusExMachina]

Jesus would probably commit suicide to find not only have people turned his name into a religion, but they follow the exact opposite of the things he preached.

He'd find an eternity in Hell better than a year up here with his followers.